The graveside was piled high with flours, as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew he was kneaded".

Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie, and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model to millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They had two children, and one in the oven.....

Report from Week 110, in which we asked you to come up with absurd warning labels for common products.

We loved one particular entry for it wonderful idiocy:On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place."

We were going to make it a winner, until we discovered that it wasn't made up.

Fourth Runner-Up -- On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water. (Gary Dawson, Arlington)

Third Runner-Up -- On a package of Fisherman's Friend(R) throat lozenges: Not meant as substitute for human companionship.  (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Second Runner-Up -- On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

First Runner-Up -- On a roll of Life Savers: Not for use as a flotation device. (Jean Sorensen, Herndon)

And the winner of the Power Ranger pinata -- On a cup of McDonald's coffee:Allow to cool before applying to groin area. (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

Honorable MentionsOn a Pentium chip: If this product exhibits errors, the manufacturer will replaceit for a $2 shipping and a $3 handling charge, for a total of $4.97. (Russell Beland, Springfield)

On a refrigerator: Refrigerate after opening. (Cissie J. Owen, Leesburg)

On a disposable razor: Do not use this product during an earthquake. (Jim Gaffney, Manassas)

On a handgun: Not recommended for use as a nutcracker. (Art Grinath, Takoma Park)

On pantyhose: Not to be used in the commission of a felony. (Judith Daniel, Washington)

On a piano: Harmful or fatal if swallowed. (Peter Fay, Herndon)

On a can of Fix-a-Flat: Not to be used for breast augmentation. (Jerry Robin,& Gaithersburg)

On Kevorkian's suicide machine: This product uses carbon monoxide, whichhas been found to cause cancer in laboratory rats. (Meg Sullivan, Potomac)

On Lyndon LaRouche literature: Mr. LaRouche is a serious political figure;and not a paranoid lunatic, and should therefore -- Hey, what are you looking at? Quit staring at me. (Meg Sullivan, Potomac)

On work gloves: For best results, do not leave at crime scene. (Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills)

On a palm sander: Not to be used to sand palms. (Patrick G. White, Taneytown)

On a calendar: Use of term "Sunday" for reference only. No meteorological warranties express or implied. (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

On Odor Eaters: Do not eat. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

On Sen. Bob Dole: WARNING: Contents under pressure and may explode. (Doug Keim, Schaumburg, Ill. )

On a blender: Not for use as an aquarium. (Gary Dawson, Arlington)

On a fax machine: WARNING! Never attempt to directly fax anyone an image of your naked buttocks. Always photocopy your buttocks and fax the photocopy. (John Kammer, Herndon)

On syrup of ipecac: Caution: May cause vomiting. (Paul Styrene, Olney)

On a revolving door: Passenger compartments for individual use only. (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

On a microscope: Objects are smaller and less alarming than they appear. (J. Calvin Smith, Laurel)

On children's alphabet blocks: Letters may be used to construct words, phrasesand sentences that may be deemed offensive. (David Handelsman, Charlottesville)

On a wet suit: Capacity, 1. (J. Calvin Smith, Laurel) And Last: On The Washington Post: Do not cut up and use for blackmail note. (Joseph Romm, Washington).

From the csh (c shell):

% make love
Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.

% got a light?
No match.

% sleep with me
bad character

% man: Why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.

% make 'heads or tails of all this'
Make: Don't know how to make heads or tails of all this. Stop.

% make sense
Make: Don't know how to make sense. Stop.

% make mistake
Make: Don't know how to make mistake. Stop.

% make bottle.open
Make: Don't know how to make bottle.open. Stop.

% \(-
(-: Command not found.

% make light
Make: Don't know how to make light. Stop.

% date me
You are not superuser: date not set Thu Aug 25 15:52:30 PDT 1988

% man rear
No manual entry for rear.

% If I had a ) for every dollar Reagan spent, what would I have?
Too many )'s.

% * How would you describe George Bush
*: Ambiguous.

% %Vice-President
%Vice-President: No such job.

% ls Meese-Ethics
Meese-Ethics not found

% "How would you rate Reagan's senility?
Unmatched ".

% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ]. |

% ^How did the^sex change operation go?
Modifier failed.

% who is my match?
No match.

% set i="Democratic_Platform";mkdir $i;chmod 000 $i;ls $i
Democratic_Platform unreadable

% awk "Polly, the ship is sinking"
awk: syntax error near line 1
awk: bailing out near line

% 'thou shalt not commit adultery'
thou shalt not commit adultery: Command not found.