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Guinness is good for you

One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. The proceeded to each buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they where about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flys landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head.

The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.

The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.

The Irishman too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and then started yelling "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!!"

Intercourse and Medicare

A couple, aged 67, went to the doctor's office. The Doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"

The man said, "will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"

The doctor looked puzzled but agreed. When the couple had finished, the doctor said, "There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." And he charged them $20.00 .

This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse, pay the doctor and leave. Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"

The old man said, "we're not trying to find out anything. She is married and we can't go to her house. I am married and we can't go to my house. Holdiday Inn charges $32.00 . Hilton Hotel charges $37.00 . We do it here for $20.00 and I get $18.00 back from medicare for a visit to the doctors office.

Newton's Laws of Spam

Newton's 3rd Law of Spam --

For every action involving a slab of Spam there is an equal and opposite reaction (i.e. eat Spam, hurl Spam).