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H u n t i n g

After marrying a young woman, a ninety-year-old man told his doctor that they were expecting a baby.

"Let me tell you a story," said the doctor. "An absent-minded fellow went hunting, but instead of a gun, he picked up an umbrella. Suddenly a bear charged at him. Pointing his umbrella at the bear, he shot and killed it on the spot."

"Impossible!" the geezer exclaimed. "Somebody else must have shot that bear."

"Exactly," replied the doctor.

C o n f u s i o n

A confused nine-year-old boy goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?"

After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, honey, God is both male and female."

This confuses the little boy, so he asks, "Is God black or white?" "Well, God is both black and white."

This further confuses the boy so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?" At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers none the less, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."

At this the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, "Mom, is God Michael Jackson?"