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Microsoft Widow

Did you hear about the woman who was married to a succession of three Microsoft employees and still died a virgin? Her first husband was in Training, and kept teaching her how to do it herself. The second was in Sales, and kept telling her how good it was going to be.

And the third was in Tech Support, and kept saying "Don't worry, it'll be up any minute now...."

Reagan Watch

Ronald Reagan's Alzheimer's Disease is getting so bad that Nancy sent him to the video store to pick up "A Scent Of A Woman" and he came back with "A Fish Called Wanda".

The Golden Throne

This missionary got sent to evangelize among the Fuzzie Wuzzies on Bongo Bongo but was having little success. He approached the King of the Fuzzie Wuzzies to see what would be necessary to engender his cooperation. The King had seen pictures of European kings and queens sitting on thrones, and he told the missionary that he would have the entire tribe convert if only he could have a golden throne.

The missionary wrote home to the Home Mission Board to tell them of this marvelous opportunity; could they please send him a golden throne? So they sent him one (okay, it wasn't solid gold, but the King liked it a lot), and the whole tribe converted and the missionary was a big success.

In his later years, however, the King of the Fuzzie Wuzzies got kind of arthritic and decided that sitting on his hard old golden throne was exacerbating his aches and pains, so he stashed the throne up in the attic of his little grass shack.

Sure enough, one day the throne came crashing through the ceiling and squashed the old King of the Fuzzie Wuzzies. Which only goes to show that people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.