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Whiskey & Milk

There once was a 94 year old nun back in the 1890's whose wornout body began to surrender. Her doctor prescribed for her a shot of whiskey three times a day, to relax her tenseness. However, not to be lured into worldly pleasures, she huffily declined. But her mother superior knew the elderly sister loved milk. So she instructed the kitchen to spike the milk three times a day.

Eventually, the elderly pious one approached her final hour. As the several sisters gathered around her at bedside, the mother superior asked if she wanted to leave them any words of wisdom...

"Oh, yes," she replied. "Never sell that cow!"

The Top 12 Rejected Public Holidays

  1. Start of Christmas Season Day

  2. False Labor Day

  3. Make a Move on Your Secretary Day

  4. Hallmark Card Day

  5. Bring Your Handgun to Work Day

  6. Newtsmas

  7. Deadbeat Father's Day

  8. Bad Hair Day

  9. Put Your Daughter To Work Day

  10. Doris Day

  11. St. Hooter's Day

    and the Number 1 Rejected Public Holiday...

  12. Hash Wednesday

K n o w l e d g e

Never pride yourself on knowledge.

Remember, even a head of iceberg lettuce knows more than you do.

It knows whether or not that light really does go out when the refrigerator door shuts.

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