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CE-cret Service

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.

The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"

My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."

Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"

He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."

The Top 16 Changes if Your Boss Were a Frog

Your plan to just step on anyone who stands in the way of your career advancement begins to look more and more plausible.
He'd be much more likely to pee when you pick him up.
You'd probably want to rethink your aversion to vivisection.
No more whining about how long it's been since you had any tail.
Daydreaming about the day your boss croaks would no longer have that same charm.
Sexual harrassment laws not so clear cut with out-of-body egg fertilization.
She's noticeably jumpier after morning coffee break.
"Toadie" suddenly a well-respected position.
At the very least, you'd get a nice psychedelic buzz after kissing his ass.
If he laid a pile of work on you Friday at 4:30, you could flush him down the toilet.
Tastes more like chicken than the old boss.
You thought cigarette and coffee breath was bad...
No more dirty language around the water cooler -- it's a nursery now!
Want a promotion? Tell him your brother is a French Chef -- I think he'll make the connection.
Having a "frog in your throat" could actually net you that desired promotion.
and the Number 1 Change if Your Boss Were a Frog...
Fred the Anaconda in Human Resources would be out of a job.

An Interesting Anecdote on Seymour Cray

Apple Computer purchased a big Cray supercomputer in the mid-1980s. In fact, Steve Jobs was Cray's first and only walk-in customer. He arrived unannounced (so the story goes) at Cray headquarters in Mendota Heights, Minnesota, and asked to speak to someone about buying a Cray. They nearly threw him out. It's only slightly less eccentric than someone walking into NASA Johnson Space Center and inquiring how to purchase a shuttle orbiter.

Later, Cray president John Rollwagen phoned Seymour and told him that Apple had just purchased a Cray that would be used in designing the next Macintosh. Seymour thought for a bit, and replied that that seemed reasonable, since he was using a Macintosh to design the next Cray.