1. "Listening To Pez"

2. "Toilet Training Your Inner Child"

3. "The One-Step-Forward, Two-Steps-Back Program for the Chronically Indecisive"

4. "30 Days to Droopier Breasts"

5. "Losing Weight Slowly By Eating Less and Exercising"

6. "Drink Yourself Sober"

7. "Heart to Huh? Monosyllabic Communication with the Man in Your Life"

8. "The One-Minute Lover"

9. "So You're Going Blind, You Hairy-Palmed MonkeyBoy Baywatch Junkie?!"

10. "Thank Vishnu for Neurotic White Folks" by Deepak Chopra

11. "Polygamy - Rediscovering the Ancient Path to Manhood"

12. "I'm OK, You're Going to Hell" by Ralph Reed

13. "Old & Barren: Embracing Your Inner Spinster"

14. "Think Like A Supermodel!"

15. "Your Guardian Angel Knows the Winning Horses"

16. "Abs of Beer"

    and the Number 1 Rejected Self Help Book...

17. "Salt-free Chicken Soup with Some Low-Fat Crackers and a Nice Tofu Salad for the Health-Conscious Soul"

NAME:__________________________

Nickname:_____________________

ADDRESS: ______________________ EXIT # __________

ETHNIC BACKGROUND: _______Italian _______Sicilian ________Jewish

BACKYARD SMELLS LIKE:

a)Sewage           b)Sulfur        c)Garbage       d)All of the above

TOTAL # OF MUSCLE SHIRTS

a)5 - 10           b)10 - 15       c)15 - 20       d)20 and above

# OF BON JOVI TOUR SHIRTS

a)5 - 10           b)10 - 15       c)15 - 20       d)20 and above

# OF BON JOVI TOUR SHIRTS THAT ARE ALSO MUSCLE SHIRTS

a)5 - 10           b)10 - 15       c)15 - 20       d)20 and above

BRAND OF JEANS PREFERRED

a)Sergio Valente   b)Jordache      c)Sassoon       d)Z. Cavaricci

PERCENTAGE OF WARDROBE WHICH IS LEATHER

a)100%             b)95-100%       c)90-95%        d)85-90%

TOTAL # OF GOLD CHAINS OWNED

a)10 - 15          b)15 - 20       c)20 - 25       d)25 and above

# OF GOLD CHAINS WORN AT ONE TIME

a)5 - 10           b)10 - 15       c)15 - 20       d)20 and above

APPROXIMATE VALUE OF ALL THIS JEWELRY

a)$ 5 - $10        b)$10 - $15     c)$15 - $20     d)Stolen

GOLD CAP ON AT LEAST ONE TOOTH? YES NO

HAIR HEIGHT

a)6 - 8 Inches     b)8 - 12 Inches  c)1 - 2 feet   d)More than 2 feet

HAIR PRODUCTS USED AT ANY GIVEN TIME

a) Hair Spray
b) Styling Gel
c) Mouse
d) Extra Hold Styling Gel
e) Bondo
f) Spackle
g) 40 Weight Oil
h) Crazy Glue

AUTOMOBILE OWNED:

a) IROC Z
b) Firebird
c) Camaro
d) Mustang
f) Chevette ( You got a f#%*ing problem with it?)

NUMBER OF INCHES CAR IS OFF THE GROUND

a)6 - 8 Inches     b)4 -6 Inches   c)2 - 4 Inches  d)Under 2 Inches

CHARACTERISTICS OF AUTOMOBILE

a) Gold chain around license plate
b) Neon lights around license plate
c) Neon lights under car
d) Chippendales/Playboy air freshener hanging from rear view mirror
e) Garter hanging from rear view mirror
f) Chrome hubcaps
g) Stick-on window tinting
h) Stick-on paint splash stickers
i) Fuzzy dice

FAVORITE SPORTS TEAM

a) F#%*ing Giants
b) F#%*ing Jets
c) F#%*ing Mets
d) F#%*ing Yankees
e) F#%*ing Nets
f) F#%*ing Knicks
g) F#%*ing Devils
h) F#%*ing Rangers
i) F#%*ing Islanders

FAVORITE MUSIC

a) Techno
b) Rap
c) Bon Jovi
d) Bruce Springstein

ESSAY QUESTION

In 100 words or less, Define the term "Yoos Guys"