A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland. The man tells her it will be $300.

She exclaims, "I don't have any money, but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!!!"

To that the man asks, "Anything??"

And the blonde says, "Yes, anything!!"

With that, the man says, "Follow me."

He walks into the next room and tells her, "Come in and close the door."

She does.

He then says, "Get on your knees."

She does.

He then says, "Take down my zipper."

She does.

He then says, "Go ahead, take it out."

With that she takes it out and takes hold of it with both hands.

The man then says, "Well, go ahead!"

She brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it close to her lips, she says, "Hello...Mom?"

A famous lawyer found himself at heaven's gates confronting St. Peter. He protested that it was all a mistake: he was only 49 and far too young to be dead.

"That's odd," said St. Peter, "according to the hours you've billed you're 119 years old."

Did you hear that the new and politically correct name for "Lesbian" has been changed to "Vagitarian"??