In The News...
New York City has hired etiquette officers for its subways. "It's starting to work," said one passenger. "This morning the man who mugged me said thank you." (Premiere Morning Sickness)Exchanging Pointers
A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go.Excited, he jumps out of the airplane. After a bit, he pulls the ripcord. Nothing happens.
He tries again. Still nothing.
He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute. He pulls that cord. Nothing happens. He frantically begins pulling both cords, but to no avail.
Suddenly, he looks down and he can't believe his eyes. Another man is in the air with him, but this guy is going *up*!
Just as the other guy passes by, the skydiver -- by this time scared out of his wits -- yells, "Hey, do you know anything about skydiving?"
The other guy yells back, "No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?"
American Airlines "Pilot Adoption Program" Needs You!
Even though President Clinton has temporarily averted the pilots' strike against American Airlines, there is still time for us to show the world just how much we care.It's just not right. Thousands of pilots in our very own country are living at or just below the six-figure salary line. And as if that weren't bad enough, many of them may soon be deprived of a paycheck for several weeks -- or even a month! -- if they are forced by American Airlines management to strike.
But now you can help! For about three hundred dollars a day -- that's less than the price of a 25" television set -- you can help keep a pilot economically viable during his or her time of need.
Three hundred dollars a day may not seem like a lot of money to you, but to a pilot it could mean the difference between a vacation spent fishing in Florida or a Mediterranean cruise.
For you, three hundred dollars is nothing more than half a month's rent or mortgage payment. But to a pilot, three hundred dollars a day will almost replace his or her salary.
Your commitment of three hundred dollars a day will enable a pilot to upgrade his or her home computer, buy that new 100" television set, trade in the year old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a dinner (with champagne) at the Ritz-Carlton.
"HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?"
Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the crew member you sponsor. Detailed information about his or her stocks, bonds, 401K, and real estate holdings will be mailed to your home. You will be able to watch your pilot's net worth grow. You'll also get information on how they plan to invest the $1.2 million lump sum they will receive upon retirement.
"HOW WILL THEY KNOW I'M HELPING?"
Your pilot will be told that he or she has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in a time of need. Although the pilot won't know your name, he or she will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator -- just in case additional funds are needed for unexpected expenses.
Yes! I want to help!
In the event of a strike by the American Airlines pilots, I would like to sponsor a crew member. My preference is checked below:
___ I'll sponsor a crew member most in need. Please select one for me.
* Slightly higher cost.
** Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a specific cabin crew. (Does not include flight attendants.)
Please charge the account listed below $326.25 per day (or $350.29 for MD-11 crew members) for the duration of the strike. Please send me a picture of the crew member I have sponsored, along with a set of "wings" and my very own AA badge to wear proudly on my lapel.
[ ] Mastercard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express
[ ] AAsset Card [ ] Discover Card [ ] Diner's Club
Your name: ________________________
Telephone Number: ________________
Account Number:_______________ Expiration: _____
Signature: ________________________
--> Mail Completed Form to the Airline Pilots Association
--> Or Call 1-888-HELP-APA Now to Enroll by Phone
(Children under 18 must have parent's approval.)
Note: Sponsors are not permitted to contact the crew member they have sponsored, either in person or by other means including, but not limited to, telephone calls, letters, e-mail, or third parties. Contributions are not tax deductible. In the event that there is no strike action taken, sponsors agree to a one-time charge of $500 to cover the administrative costs of this program.
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