Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
What for? He can't see my license plate.

Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

When driving through fog, what should you use?
Your car.

What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.

What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
The color.

How do you deal with heavy traffic?
Heavy psychedelics.

What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
Carry loaded weapons.

Nike has a television commercial for hiking shoes that was shot in Kenya using Samburu tribesmen.

The camera closes in on the one tribesman who speaks, in native Maa. As he speaks, the Nike slogan ``Just do it'' appears on the screen.

Lee Cronk, an anthropologist at the University of Cincinatti, says the Kenyan is really saying, ``I don't want these. Give me big shoes.''

Says Nike's Elizabeth Dolan, ``We thought nobody in America would know what he said.''

GUNS IN THE HOME FOUND TO INCREASE RISK OF DEATH.

People who keep guns at home nearly triple their chances of being murdered, usually by friends or relatives, but fail to protect themselves from intruders... However, Paul Blackman, research coordinator at the National Rifle Association, criticized the study...

``These people were highly susceptible to homicide,'' he said. ``We know that because they were killed.''

About 6-7 years ago, I was in a philosophy class at the University of Wisconsin, Madison (good science/engineering school) and the teaching assistant was explaining Descartes. He was trying to show how things don't always happen the way we think they will and explained that, while a pen always falls when you drop it on Earth, it would just float away if you let go of it on the Moon.

My jaw dropped a little. I blurted ``What?!''

Looking around the room, I saw that only my friend Mark and one other student looked confused by the TA's statement.

The other 17 people just looked at me like ``What's your problem?''

``But a pen would fall if you dropped it on the Moon, just more slowly.'' I protested.

``No it wouldn't.'' the TA explained calmly, ``because you're too far away from the Earth's gravity.''

Think. Think. Aha!

``You saw the APOLLO astronauts walking around on the Moon, didn't you?'' I countered, ``why didn't they float away?''

``Because they were wearing heavy boots.'' he responded, as if this made perfect sense (remember, this is a Philosophy TA who's had plenty of logic classes).

By then I realized that we were each living in totally different worlds, and did not speak each others language, so I gave up. As we left the room, my friend Mark was raging.

``My God! How can all those people be so stupid?''

I tried to be understanding.

``Mark, they knew this stuff at one time, but it's not part of their basic view of the world, so they've forgotten it. Most people could probably make the same mistake.''

To prove my point, we went back to our dorm room and began randomly selecting names from the campus phone book. We called about 30 people and asked each this question:

If you're standing on the Moon holding a pen, and you let go, will it a) float away, b) float where it is, or c) fall to the ground?

About 47 percent got this question correct. Of the ones who got it wrong, we asked the obvious follow-up question:

You've seen films of the APOLLO astronauts walking around on the Moon, why didn't they fall off?

About 20 percent of the people changed their answer to the first question when they heard this one!

But the most amazing part was that about half of them confidently answered, ``Because they were wearing heavy boots.''

I say, science education must be at an all time peak!!!