1. Barney - If a fat ass purple dinosaur came to my neighborhood playground, I'd be the first to get the hell out of there. You ain't gettin me to dance around with a t-rex.

2. Gilligan's Island - The professor could make a radio transmitter out of a coconut but he couldn't fix the friggin boat.

3. Golfers - What the hell is the point is the point of it? They say its relaxing, but all they do is hit the ball into a ditch full of sand and curse, hit it into the lake and curse, mis the 2 inch put and curse, and hit it up the cattie's ass and curse. Now I'm no stanger to cus' words but I ain't never heard the word SHIT so many times. They are the only breed of man in the world who would take an imaginary swing for no reason at all.

4. Bell Bottoms - The name says it all

5. Ice Cream Parlors - What the hell is the point of having 23 flavors when every person orders Vannila with chocolate fudge and sprinkles. What ass hole wants Chocolate Moca Moca Strawberry cream oreo chipped flavored ice cream.

6. HICKS - Enough said.

7. Ski Schools - You pay the guy a hundered bucks to break your friggin leg.

8. Wheel of Fortune - Sometimes you just wish Pat Sayjack's tie would get stuck in the wheel !!!!!

9. Dr. Kavorkian's Patients - Your gonna pay a guy a half a MIL to kill you? Why don't you just jump of a bridge for free?

10. Dog Shows - Look out the window if you want to see a dog pissin' and walking around with it's master

11. This List - What kind of an ass hole sits at his computer for an hour and a half looking at comedy? YOU, YA DICK HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#In the beginning was the computer. And God said

:Let there be light!

#You have not signed on yet.
:God.

#Enter user password.

:Omniscient.
#Password Incorrect. Try again!

:Omnipotent.
#Password Incorrect. Try again!

:Technocrat.
#And God signed on 12:01 a.m., Sunday, March 1.

:Let there be light!
#Unrecognizable command. Try again!

:Create light.
#Done.

:Run heaven and earth.
#And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:02 a.m., Sunday, March 1.
#Approx. funds remaining: $92.50.

#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Monday, March 2.

:Let there be firmament in the midst of the water and
#Unrecognizable command! Try again!

:Create firmament.
#Done.

:Run firmament.
#And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Monday, March 2.
#Approx. funds remaining: $84.60.

#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Tuesday, March 3.

:Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and let the dry land appear and
#Too many characters in string specification! Try again.

:Create dryland.
#Done!

:Run dryland.
#And God created Earth and Seas. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Tuesday, March 3.
#Approx. funds remaining: $65.00.

#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Wednesday, March 4.

:Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night.
#Unspecified type. Try again!

:Create sunmoonstars.
#And God created Sun, Moon, Stars. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Wednesday, March 4.
#Approx. funds remaining: $54:00.

#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Thursday, March 5.

:Create fish.
#Done.

:Create fowl.
#Done.

:Run fish'nfowl.
#And God created the great seamonsters and every living creature that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl after its kind. 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Thursday, March 5.
#Approx. funds remaining: $45.00.

#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Friday, March 6.

:Create cattle.
#Done.

:Create creepy things.
#Done.

:Now let us make man in our image.
#Unspecified type! Try again.

:Create man.
#Done.

:Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over of the fowl of the air and over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth.
#Too many command operands! Try again.

:Run multiplication.
#Execution terminated. 6 errors.

:Insert breath.
#O.K.

:Run multiplication.
#Execution terminated. 5 errors.

:Move man to Garden of Eden.
#File Garden of Eden does not exist.

:Create Gard.En.
#Done.

:Move man to Gard.En.
#O.K.

:Run multiplication.
#Execution terminated. 4 errors.

:Copy woman from man.
#O.K.

:Run multiplication.
#Execution terminated. 3 errors.

:Insert woman into man.
#Illegal parameters. Try again!

:Insert man into woman.
#O.K.

:Run multiplication.
#Execution terminated. 2 errors.

:Create desire.
#Done.

:Run multiplication.
#And God saw man'nwoman being fruitful and multiplying in the Gard.En.

#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

:Create freewill.
#Done.

:Run freewill.
#And God saw man'nwoman being fruitful and multiplying in the Gard.En.

#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

:Undo desire.
#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.

:Destroy freewill.
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.

#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

:Help!
#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.

#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

:Create Treeofknowledge.
#And God saw man'nwoman being fruitful and multiplying in the Gard.En.

#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

:Create good'nevil.
#Done.

:Activate evil.
#And God saw he had created shame.

#Warning: System error in sector E95. Man'nwoman not in Gard.En.
#1 errors.

:Scan Gard.En. for man'nwoman.
#Man'nwoman cannot be located. Try again!

:Search Gard.En. for man'nwoman.
#Search failed.

:Delete shame.
#Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.

:Destroy freewill.
#Freewill an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.

:Stop!
#Unrecognizable command. Try again.
:Break

:Break

#ATTENTION ALL USERS ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE SIGN OFF.

:Create new world.
#You have exceeded your allotted file space. You must destroy old files before new ones can be created.

:Destroy earth.
#Destroy earth. Please confirm.

:Destroy earth confirmed.

#COMPUTER DOWN. COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME ON SUNDAY MARCH 8 AT 6:00 A.M. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW!

#And God signed off at 11:59 p.m., Friday, March 6.

#And God had zero funds remaining.