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For the Love of Beans ...

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans.

He loved them but they always had a very embarrassing and sometimes lively reaction on him. Then one day, he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, "she is such a sweet and gentle girl, she would never go for this kind of carrying on. "

So he made the supreme sacrifice...he gave up his beloved beans. They were married shortly there after.

Some months later, his car broke down on the way home from work and it was his birthday. Since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had several miles to walk home. Being a little hungry, he stopped at a cafe.

Before leaving the cafe, for his birthday, he treated himself to three large orders of baked beans. All the way home he putt-putted and upon arriving home, he felt reasonably safe that he had putt-putted his last.

His wife seemed somewhat excited and agitated to see him and exclaimed "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for dinner tonight!"

She then blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the head of the table. He seated himself and just as she was ready to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She made him wow not to touch the blindfold, until she returned, and ran off to answer the phone. Seizing the opportunity, he shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but was as ripe as rotten eggs. He took his napkin from his lap and vigorously fanned the air about him. Things had just returned to normal when he felt another urge coming upon him. So, he shifted to the other leg and let go. This was a prize winner. While keeping his ear on the telephone conversation in the hall, he went on like this for ten minutes until he knew the phone call was ending. He placed his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly to himself, he was the picture of innocence when his wife returned. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked; of course he assured her that he had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold and there was the surprise....

Twelve dinner guest seated around the table for his surprise birthday party..................

oh my

Things that Bart has written .....

For the most recent list, including notes and episode #'s, check out Don Del Grande's list of Bart Simpson's Blackboard Quotes

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