1. Indecision is the key to flexibility.

2. You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

3. There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.

4. Happiness is merely the remission of pain.

5. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

6. Sometimes too much to drink is not enough.

7. The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.

8. The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.

9. Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.

10. Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.

11. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.

12. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.

13. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

14. I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

15. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.

16. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

17. All things being equal, fat people use more soap.

18. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

19. One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.

20. By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends.

21. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

22. The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.

23. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

24. This is as bad as it can get, but don't count on it.

25. Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

26. The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you realize it's a do-it-yourself thing.

There are 365 days per year available for work.
There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have two days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work.
Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days.
Leaving only 91 days available.

You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break.
That accounts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available.
With a one hour lunch period daily, you have used up another 46 days leaving only 22 days available for work.

You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave.
This leaves you only 20 days available for work.
We offer 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days.
We generously give you 14 days vacation per year which leaves you only l day available for work and I'll be damned if you're going to take that day off!