Sample the whiskey to check for quality.

Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it's the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Beat two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the tuner. If the fired druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whiskey again and go to bed.

Happy holidays! Please feel free to share this recipe with others.

TOKYO - Kashima University has expelled four medical students for pelting other students with human brains.

School officials say the three men and one woman were dissecting cadavers in the science laboratory when one of the males removed part of a cerebral cortex from a corpse's skull and threw it at one of the other medical students.

Within minutes a "brain fight" had broken out.

The students then reportedly opened the windows of the second floor lab and began throwing the brains down on unwitting passersby on the street below. One girl was hit in the face and required treatment at the university's emergency room.

School security officers say they're fairly certain that more people were involved in the brain-throwing but only four were witnessed.

The expelled students said they didn't plan the brain fight. One of them said, "It just sort of happened." He blamed the odd behavior on the pressure of constant study and lack of sleep.