I think my grade in your course,___________________, should be changed from ______ to _______ for the following reasons:

______ 1. The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did.
______ 2. The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did.
______ 3. I got a better grade with this paper last year.
______ 4. This course will lower my Grade Point Average and I won't get into:

______ Medical School

______ Graduate School

______ Dental School

______ My Fraternity/Sorority

______ The Mickey Mouse Club

______ Tri County Tech

______ 5. I have to get an A in this course to balance the F in _______________.
______ 6. I'll lose my scholarship.
______ 7. I'm on a varsity sports team and my tutor couldn't find a copy of your exam.
______ 8. I didn't come to class and the person whose notes I used did not cover the materisal asked for on the exam.
______ 9. I studied the basic principles and the exam wanted every little fact.
______ 10. I learned all the facts and definitions but your exams asked about general principles.
_____ 11. You are prejudiced against:

______ Males

______ Jews

______ Blacks

______ Females

______ Catholics

______ Whites

______ Protestants

______ Moslems

______ Minorities

______ Chicanos

______ People

______ Child molesters

______ Idiots

______ Students

______ Snorers

_____ 12. If I flunk out of school my father will disinherit me or at least cut my allowance.
_____ 13. I was unable to do well in this course because of the following illness:

______ mono

______ broken baby finger

______ acute alcoholism

______ pregnancy

______ VD

_____ 14. You told us to be creative but you didn't tell us exactly how you wanted that done.
_____ 15. I was creative and you said I was just shooting the bull.
_____ 16. I don't have a reason; I just want a higher grade.
_____ 17. The lectures were:

______ too detailed to pick out important points

______ not explained in sufficient detail

______ too boring

______ all jokes and not enough material

______ all of the above

_____ 18. This course was:

______ too early, I was not awake.

______ at lunchtime, I was hungry

______ too late, I was tired

_____ 19. My (dog, cat, gerbil) (ate, wet on, threw up on) my (book, notes, paper) for this course.
_____ 20. I ALWAYS got A's before... honest!
_____ 21. I can't understand your funny accent.
_____ 22. You can understand my funny accent.
_____ 23. I didn't have time to do the assignments because:

______ I'm working on my Nobel prize in another subject

______ I was helping the police bust drug kingpins

______ my medication makes me very sleepy

______ our band had to practice every night for our big gig

______ my cellmate had other plans for my time

_____ 24. Other (make it good): _______________________________________

The idea is thus.

First, if the microwave is of the type that has one of those silly rotating dish-like things, which rotates your food to make sure it gets cooked evenly, then TAKE IT OUT and THROW IT AWAY. You won't need it for this game and, if you get addicted enough, you probably won't use your microwave for anything else, so you won't need that dish thing ever again.

OK, next, lightly cover the floor of the microwave with a SMALL amount of sunflower oil. Just generally spread it about, to make a thin, lubricating layer, on which a grape may skate about. Try it with a practice grape to make sure you've got it right. Then, line up a number of grapes at one side of the oven, with one grape corresponding to each player. Important tip here - MAKE SURE THAT THE END WITH THE HOLE IN IT IS POINTING AT THE WALL. This is really quite fundamentally important. Next, lay bets - or whatever - on your grape, that it will win/lose/finish in a particular position or state/whatever. Then, set the microwave to full power, and switch on.

What happens is that the inside of the grape heats up, liquefies, and acts as a jet propellant to push the grape along the lubricated floor of the microwave as it shoots out the hole at the back. Thus, each grape travels with varying degrees of speed and/or success across the floor of the microwave. The first to reach the other side of the microwave is judged to be the winner, or, failing this, the one to travel the furthest. Some grapes don't make it even this far, and either shrivel up or explode messily on the starting line, but this just adds to the fun. Remember to switch off the microwave and remove the competitors before replacing them for the next round.

The game can be varied according to players and their individual tastes, like "Strip Grape Races" for example, or "Stunt Grapes" where the grape must perform a task like jumping over other grapes, etc. These, and other variations, should keep you and your friends amused for hours.