Dear Mr. Kennelly:

Thank you for your letter of April 17. After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your firm. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Acme Inc.'s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time. Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following graduation. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.

Sincerely,

[Your name here]

He extends his thumb, and the first car by stops.

"Need a lift?" asks the driver.

"Yeah." replies the man.

"First, are you a Democrat or a Republican?"

The stranded man says, "A Democrat."

The car speeds off. Soon after, another car stops.

"Looking for a ride?"

"Yep," replies the stranded man.

"Are you a Democrat or a Republican?"

The stranded motorist replies, "A Democrat."

That car speeds off.

He then realized that Newt came from Georgia, and was a Republican. Then, a Porsche pulls up. In the Porsche is a long-legged, absolutely gorgeous blonde wearing a very tight, extremely short leather mini-skirt.

"Need a ride?"

"Oh yeah," replies the man.

"Are you a Democrat or a Republican?" asks the woman.

"A Republican all the way."

"Hop in," replies the woman, and she starts down the highway.

Stunned by her good looks, the man can't keep his eyes off of her for miles. Suddenly, five miles down the road he stares straight ahead and bursts out in laughter.

"What's so funny?" asks the woman.

"Well," says the man, "I've only been a Republican for five minutes and already I feel like screwin' somebody!"