What is 74??
69 with sales tax.

What is the square root of 69?
Why its "EIGHT SOMETHING"

How do you tell betwin a boy cromazone and a girl cromazone?
YOU PULL DOWN THERE GEANS!

What does a clam and a vagina have in common???
You don't eat them when the red tide comes in!!!

What's the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diarreah?
One shucks between fits!

what do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection.
A quarter-pounder with cheese.

How do you know when you have walked into a gay church?
Only half the congregation is kneeling

What does Rock Hudson and Len Bias have in common?
They both got a hold of some bad crack.

What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a swimming pool?
Throw in a load of wash!!!!

How does a mathmatician solve for constipation?
He works it out with a pencil.

Know what it says on Rock Hudson's tombstone?
I hate to leave my good friends behind.

... the other day, they were going through his personal effects. Know what they found in his wallet?
YOUR PICTURE!!!

What is a Polish abortion?
A rat on a string.

What do you call a Czechoslovakian abortion?
A cancelled Check.

What is the definition of an adolescent?
Someone who can't count (integers) from 1 to 70 without cracking a smile.

The three latest Polish technological discoveries:

1. Solar powered flashlights
2. Inflatable dart boards
3. Helicopter ejection seats

How can you tell when an Iraqi woman is on the rag?
She's only wearing one sock.

What do most Iraqi women die of?
Toxic sock syndrome

What's the hardest thing about eating a vegetable?
the wheelchair

Latest new polish invention:

re-usable toilet paper!!!!!

What is the sound of a redneck husband's foreplay?
"Honey, I'm home!"

60 percent of all Orientals have cataracts; the other 40 perecent drive Lincoln Continentals.

What do you call a quadraplegic Iragi ?
Trustworthy

What do you call a leper in a hot tub?
Chowder

What is grosser than gross?
Having a dream about chocolate pudding and then waking up with a spoon in your butt?

Answer: A last name.

That was a pretty long way to go for such a bad joke.

Why do blind people hate to skydive?
It scare's the dog.

Why was Helen Kellers leg yellow?
Her dog was blind too!!

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They left the plunger in the toilet!

What is red and green and goes 700Mph?
A frog in a blender!!

What is the last thing that goes through a bug's mind as it hits your windsheild?
It's asshole.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN IRAQI WOMAN AND THE NEW YORK RANGERS?
THE RANGERS SHOWER AFTER THREE PERIODS!!!

What's the definition of gross?
You kiss your grandmother goodbye and she slips you the tongue.

What is green and goes backwards?
SNOT!!

Why does helen keller masturbate with her left hand?
So she can moan with her right hand

Why does helen keller wear tight jeans?
So people can read her lips

What's a red neck's idea of foreplay?
Come on, bitch, hop in the truck.

The bad news is the baby was born with 5 fully formed penis

The good news is: the diaper fits like a glove.

What goes Ha Ha, Thump, Thump?
A man laughing his balls off!

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
Cute, but can you eat peanuts with it?

Why did Maria Schriver marry Arnold Schwartzeneggar?
They're trying to breed a bullet-proof Kennedy.

What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
You know she'll swallow.

How does every ethnic joke start?
By looking over your shoulder.

What's a Japanese girl's favorite holiday?
Erection day.

Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq?
They don't want to wear out the camel.

What's the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is when you use a feather; kinky is when you use the whole chicken.

How can you tell if a bank robber is gay?
He ties up the safe and blows the guard.

How can you tell if you're in a gay church?
Only half the congregation is kneeling.

How can you tell the difference between a straight rodeo and a gay rodeo?
At a straight rodeo they yell "Ride them suckers!"

What's the difference between a freezer and a fag?
A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

Whats the most popular pick up line in a gay bar?
"May I push in your stool?"

Which is better, being born black or gay?
Black, because you don't have to tell your parents.

How can you spot the blind guy in a nudist colony?
It's not hard.

How can you tell if a valentine is from a leper?
The tongue's still in the envelope.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs, with a ten inch penis?
"Partially disabled."

What was Helen Keller's dog's name?
"Huuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmth!"

What's small, green, and falls apart?
A leperchaun.

Why does Helen Keller need two hands to masturbate?
One to do the work and the other to moan with.

What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

What's the difference between a JAP and a bowl of Jell-o?
Jell-o wiggles when you eat it.

How do you save a lawyer from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.

If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
It might be your bicycle.

What's the difference between a dead lawyer in the road and a dead skunk in the road?
The skid marks are in front of the skunk.

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
Cut the rope.

How come no one ever came up with any jokes about the Jonestown incident?
The punchlines were too long.

What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common?
They just didn't listen.

How many Puerto Ricans does it take to grease a car?
Just one if you hit him right.

What do you say to a Puerto Rican in a three piece suit?
"Will the defendant please rise..."

When does a Puerto Rican become a Spaniard?
When he marries your daughter.

Why are they using Mexicans instead of laboratory rats in experiments now?
They breed faster and you don't get so attached to them.

When does a black man become a nigger?
When he leaves the room.

What's the difference between blacks and snow tires?
Snow tires don't sing when you put chains on them.

What are the three most difficult years in a Pole's life?
Second grade.

What's long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?
A new last name.

Why don't Polish women use vibrators?
It chips their teeth.

Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
They keep falling through the holes in his hands.

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.

How do you make your wife scream after an orgasm?
Wipe your dick on the curtains.

What are three words you dread the most while making love?
"Honey, I'm home."

What's the difference between your wife and your job?
After 10 years the job still sucks.

What's the hardest thing about a sex change from a man to a woman?
Inserting the anchovies.

Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blowjob?
The blowjob. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blowjob.

Why do women have two holes on the bottom?
So when they get drunk at a party, you can carry them home like a six-pack.

What happens to the Energizer Bunny when you put his batteries in backwards?
He keeps coming and coming and coming...

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes, WHACK! "Damn."
A bad skydiver goes, "Damn." WHACK!

What is the definition of RELATIVE HUMIDITY?
That litte bead of sweat that rolls down your sisters back while you're fucking her.