I guess you heard his murder was *extremely* brutal.
Yeah, they carried him out of prison in 3 refrigerators.

They asked J. Dahmer's family if they wished his body to be cremated...
The family said, they'd like him medium well!

Perhaps he got into a fight and bit off more than he could chew.

He really got carved up.

How much for just his recipe box?
Read alt.tasteless.

Hmmm, gotta be a pun here somewhere

Apparently, there was quite a tussle among the inmates while splitting his "wishbone".

Must of been something he ate.

He drowned in the toilet....trying to eat the tidybowl man.

Apparently his last words were "Hey pal, what's eating you?".

What were Jeffrey Dahmer's last words?
Eat me!
Cheers!

Someone mentioned a shishkabob style killing.

Gee and I was so looking forward to his last meal request....

Residents of hell are saying "there goes the neighborhood".

Did you hear what they served today at the wake for Mr. Dahmer?
Finger sandwiches and mixed nuts

When they performed the autopsy today on Mr. Dahmer, do you know what they found?
Jimmy Hoffa!

Did you hear about Dahmer's funeral?
Open casket, with a buffet afterwards.

They've requested he be buried in a giant lunchbox.

What did the inmate say after off-ing Dahmer?
Hurry up boys, breakfast is gettin' cold!

What question was asked of all attendees of Dahmer's funeral?
Will you have soup or salad with that organ?

What's everyone wearing at Jeffrey Dahmer's funeral?
A bib.

What's the difference between O.J. Simpson and Jeffrey Dahmer?
O.J. only ate one of his victims.

The inmates amputated Jeffrey Dahmners nose after he died.
They cut it in little pieces and spread it on pizza.
Called it Dahmer-Nose Pizza.

Dahmer was always one to "take a big bite out of life!"

What were Jeffrey Dahmer's last words?
"Uh, can I have this to go?"

Why did the other guy kill him?
'Cause he said working with Dahmer was getting to be a bite

What's the difference between Jefrey Dahmer and an orange?
An orange gets the pulp pounded out of it *before* it goes in the can.

What did Jefrey Dahmer's killer say just before he killed him?
I'm gonna have you for lunch.

...I think he misunderstood when someone told him, "Hey its Thanksgiving, have a ball!"...

Never known to descriminate due to color of skin, Dahmer really sunk his teeth into many minority causes.

One of his closest friends was quoted as saying, 'Hey he wasn't such a bad guy, he was someone you could go to to to simply chew the fat'.

why was Jeffery Dahmer killed in prison?
Because he ate all the white meat on thanksgiving.

Why did the other inmates turn on Dahlmer?
It was liver & onions day at the mess, and they decided they had had enough.

What kind of shampoo did he use?
Head and Shoulders!!!!

What did he say when he first went away to prison?
I hope this gets me off on the right foot!!!!!!!

Jeffrey Dahmer wasn't beaten to death...
He was just tenderized.

Jeffery Dahmer tried to escape when Kurt Cobain committed suicide. When apprehended, told cops he was seeking knowledge and was on the way to have a good old fashion plate of "brain" food.

Jeffery Dahmer and his son were quietly eating their dinner when the little boy spoke up.

"Daddy, I don't like my grandmother."

Jeffery replies: "That's OK. Just eat your vegetables."

What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a blowjob?
Can't beat a blowjob!

Why was Jefferey Dahmer despised by his high school drama class?
He always got the meatiest parts.

What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass!

Why did the other prisoner Kill Dahmer?
Apparently he was talking too much. He was chewing some guy's ear off.

Good things come to those who wait, but they may be the leftovers of those who got there first.

Why did his fellow inmates beat Jeff to death?
They discovered he made the giblet gravy for Thanksgiving dinner and he refused to show them the ingredient list.

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to OJ?
Slow down on the carving, I can't keep up!

What is the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and Playboy?
Playboy can withstand a beating in the bathroom...

Why did his fellow inmates beat Jeff to death?
They discovered he made the giblet gravy for Thanksgiving dinner and he refused to show them the ingredient list.

Why didn't Jeffrey Daumer post bail?
It would have cost him an arm and a leg.

Why was the moving van outside of Jeffrey Daumer's house the other day?
He needed more elbow room.

Jeffrey's Mother: Jeffrey, I don't like your friends!
Jeffrey: Then push them aside and eat the main course!

Icebox surprise pie
Head cheese
Terry Aki
Beans and Frank
Screaming' Sammy Sausage
Shisk-K-Bob
Bobby's Bratwurst
Leg O'Sam
Chuck Roast
Rump Roast
Scrambled Legs
Baked Alaskan
Finger Sandwiches
Head Lettuce
Elbow Macaroni
Vince Meat
Handburger
Moo Goo GUY in a Pan
Bob-A-Que
Barry's Back Ribs
Filet of Fred
Big Mac
Sloppy Joe
Manwich
Rice-A-RONNY
Mixed Nuts
Hot Cross Buns
PETER Bread
BrownKNEES
Eyesburg Lettuce
Kidney pie
Tongue Sandwich
Spaghetti and Pete's Balls

In the heart of our land, there was a man
With passions so unique
That many frowned, found him unsound
And wrote him off as "freak".
But listen well, and I will tell
You of his wondrous deeds
And you shall see the ecstacy
One feels when victim bleeds.

'Twas not in Hell that he did dwell,
But in a place of joy:
Apartment small, with shower stall
That he did well employ.
With knife and blade, he sliced and flayed

'Til yea, the deed was done;
His lucky friends, they met their ends
In pieces more than one.

And in their wake, he did partake;
Our hero, too, was wise-
For 'tis a waste to never taste
A young man's shining eyes.
Or sample, yes, the tenderness
Of colon firm and young
Or savor well the luscious smell
Of freshly excised tongue.

Police, alas, they did harass
The hallowed, Saintly One;
And met he with captivity

In cell block without sun.
A court of fools with wicked rules
Then found impure his mind-
'Twas vengeful sin by next of kin
Upon whom he had dined.

Then tragically, he was set free
One sad November day
His precious skull, 'twas rendered full
Of fractures, doctors say.
'Tis truly sad, our hero had
To undergo such trauma-
But holy ever shall be thy name;
We miss you, Jeffrey Dahmer.

Dahmer Haiku

Jeffrey R. Dahmer
Faggot, Killer, Cannibal
Squick Satan for us

Did you hear what Jeffrey Dahmer said to Lorenna Bottit?
Are you going to eat that or throw it away.

Why do some of Jeffrey Dahmer's ice cubes have nuts in them?
Because sometimes you feel like a nut, and sometimes you don't!

Did you hear Jeffrey Dahmer escaped?
He was last seen headed to Waco ,TX with a bottle of BBQ sauce.

Why didn't they give Dahmer the death sentance at his trial?
They were afraid of what he might want for his last meal!

Why does Jeffery Dahmer have a blender on his front porch?
So he can greet people with a hand-shake.

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say when he first saw David Koresh?
Waiter, my dinner is burnt!