Had to waste a round on that Troll who lurks under the bridge. Took him out clean. One shot. A Private Fairy Tale Dick doesn't waste ammo.

Routine: Took some old party called Rip Van Winkle to the tank after a serious bender. Took him 100 years to sleep it off. Busted a minor for breaking into the Three Bears' house and stealing their porridge. Also bagged a delirious kid named Jack who claimed he climbed a beanstalk and met a giant. Got him into rehab just in time. Investigated a domestic about some knob trying to climb a tower by grabbing a babe's hair. Turned out there was a wicked witch involved in the scam. Tough broad. Came at me with a broom, so I loaned her three slugs to the head. All in a day's work on the Fairy Beat. Kissed the babe with the hair hard and took a shot of rye. Then off to bust another Domestic, some guy called Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater. Seems he's got his wife entrapped because he "couldn't feed her."

Cheap punk. Fed Peter the Pumpkin Eater a knuckle sandwich, in case he was out of food stamps.