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Chicken with Mayo ….

A lady pulled up at noon to the drive-in window at KFC and ordered a Kentucky Fried Chicken sandwich. She told them to "hold the mayo." She then took the sandwich and took a big bite into it. She said, "oh shoot, they put mayo on it." After her first bite she left the sandwich in her car and went back to work. She got deathly sick. They rushed her to the hospital, found the sandwich in her car and found out the chicken had a tumor in it and that's why she thought they had put mayonnaise on it. She was actually eating a tumor squirting out from the inside of the chicken...I never did like KFC chicken...you probably won't either after this!

Phones & Dogs in the UK

It's common practice in England to ring a telephone by signaling extra voltage across one side of the two wire circuit and ground (earth in England). When the subscriber answers the phone, it switches to the two wire circuit for the conversation. This method allows two parties on the same line to be signalled without disturbing each other.

Anyway, an elderly lady with several pets called to say that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called; and that on the few occasions when it did ring her dog always barked first. Pat proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog.

He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring. He tried again. The dog barked loudly, followed by a ringing telephone. Climbing down from the pole, Pat found:

A dog was tied to the telephone system's ground post via an iron chain and collar.
The dog was receiving 90 volts of signalling current.
After several such jolts, the dog would start barking and urinating on the ground.
The wet ground now completed the circuit and the phone would ring.

Which shows that you that some problems can be fixed by just pissing on them.