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Assorted Catholic Jokes

Sister Catherine was asking all the Catholic school children in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow up.

Little Sheila says, "When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!"

Sister Catherine's eyes grow wide and she barked, "What did you say?!"

"A prostitute!" Sheila repeated.

Sister Catherine breathed a sight of relief and saying, "Thank God! I thought you said a Protestant"

This raggedy-assed old nun was walking home from the convent one day, when this man jumps out from the bushes and has his way.

Then the man said, "What will you tell the Holy Father now, Sister?"

She says, "I must tell the truth! I will say I was walking home from the convent when a man jumped out from the bushes and raped me twice, unless you're too tired."

A priest decides to pay a visit to a nearby convent. The convent is in a run-down neighborhood, and as the priest walks down the street several prostitutes approach and proposition him.

"Twenty bucks a trick!"

These solicitations embarrass the priest who lowers his head and hurries on until he gets to the convent.

Once inside he displays his naivete by asking the Mother Superior, "What is a trick?"

She answers, "Twenty bucks -- just like on the street."