1. Summarize Thomas Aquinas' _Summa Theologiae_ in three succinct sentences. You may use your bible.

2. St. Martin of Tours, Pope Clement VII and were not contemporaries. Had they known each other, how would the history of the Reformation turned out differently?

3. Define a moral system that satisfies Liberals, Conservatives, Moderates, and the entire population of Ancient Rome, ca. 3 BCE.

4. Memorize the Bible. Recite it in tongues.

5. Imagine you have the stigmata. Would it affect your productivity at work? Would you still be admitted into fine restaurants? Would it be covered by your medical insurance, or should it constitute a pre-existent condition?

6. What does it mean to be eternal, co-eternal, and non-existent all at once?

7. St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Augustine of Hippo decide to rob a bank. The note to the teller is 1,200 pages long, not counting footnotes, complete with a promise of damnation if the teller does not accept immediate Baptism. In the middle of the heist, they engage in an extended debate as to whether or not the money really exists.
   Are they committing a mortal or a venial sin?

8. Speculate on what the current status of salvation history might have been if Abraham had just stayed in Ur.

John Paul thought for a moment and said: "I'd like a private audience with the Holy Mother." St Peter told him it would be arranged.

On the appointed day, St Peter escorted John Paul to the Holy Mother's sanctuary. John Paul went before Her, knelt, and said:

"Holy Mother, I've always looked to You for guidance, and You have granted me peace and serenity through some difficult times. But I have one question that has nagged me during my whole time on earth. In all the paintings that were done of you, and in all the sculptures that were carved of you, you always looked so sad. Why is that?"

Mary thought for a moment, pursing her lips. Then she said: "I always wanted a girl."