EXHALE by Scott K. Jamison (Note: Ranma 1/2 and its associated characters were created by Rumiko Takahashi. No infringement is intended.) "I love Ran-chan!" "Do you? Do you really love Saotome? Or are you just in love with the idea of being married to him?" "I--ARR--Get out! Now!" Ukyou reached for her giant spatula. "But Ukyou-sama--" Konatsu cringed back as she swung at him. "I said LEAVE!" The male kunoichi leapt to the ceiling and scuttled towards the door. He hesitated at the threshold, looking back with longing, but some of Ukyou's mini-spats convinced him she was serious. He vanished into the night. "Jackass!" Ukyou let out an explosive breath, then inhaled. She held the breath for a count of ten, then released, allowing herself to relax. It was her own fault, really, for trying to get some backbone into Konatsu. Of *course* the first thing he'd do with it was argue with her about their relationship. Which was strictly employer/employee, thank you very much. Maybe friends, but that would be stretching it. Friends...Konatsu's jab at her relationship with Ranma hurt. He wasn't just her fiance, he was Ukyou's best friend. Another deep breath. Didn't *that* say something about her life? She thought about going over to the Tendou Dojo to see Ranma. But it was late, and he'd be the only one really glad to see her. Ukyou had worn out her welcome from Ranma's mother after the gift box and wedding incidents. Nodoka said she understood that Ukyou had issues that had to be addressed (glaring at her husband all the while), but it was clear Mrs. Saotome wasn't happy with her. Genma and Souun didn't appreciate her interference in what they considered the inevitable marriage of Ranma and Akane, Nabiki only liked Ukyou's money, and Kasumi treated everyone the same, so it was difficult to tell how she felt. As for Akane... The youngest Tendou and Ukyou had been avoiding talking for the last little while. They said "hello" when they met, and "goodbye" at the end of the school day, but that was about it. Ukyou had apologized, but she wasn't sure Akane had entirely forgiven her. After all, they were still rivals. No, best to wait until tomorrow, and catch Ranma at lunch. She'd cook some really special okonomiyaki for that, and chip another little niche into his heart. After all, she was still Ranma's best choice. He'd see that, eventually. * * * Classes were agonizing; it was almost exam time again, so the teachers were trying to cram as much information into each hour as they could. Ukyou tried to pay attention, after all she didn't want her grades to slip too much. Between her restaurant and chasing Ranma, school often came off a distant third in priorities. Heck, she was mostly in school to keep an eye on her fiance. At last the lunch bell rang, and Ukyou rushed over to Ranma's favorite eating spot. "Hi, Ranchan! I brought lunch for you!" He smiled. "Great! Lemme just polish off the one Akane made for me first." Ukyou forced herself to keep smiling. Then she realized Ranma was actually *eating* from the bento. "Uh, Ranchan, are you okay?" *chew chew gulp* "Oh, sure. Akane's gotten a lot better at this. Want a taste?" Ranma held out a not-terribly-appetizing-looking bit of rice and carrot with his chopsticks. Ukyou braced herself and tasted. Way too much saffron, not enough salt, and slightly soggy...but definitely edible. "Uh, not bad I guess." "She'll never be as good as you at okonomiyaki, of course." Ukyou flushed. Ranma still managed to say the right things every so often. "So, where is Akane?" "One of her friends has a new baby sister and they're all cooing over it in the nurse's office. I suppose it'll give her all sorts of weird ideas again about how I should be more in touch with my feelings and that sorta junk." Drat. It was his feelings Ukyou wanted to talk about. "Y'know," Ranma continued, "Akane's getting better at a lot of things lately. Since I started helping her train seriously, her martial arts have really improved, and she actually managed to knit something without breaking a needle last week. It was still weird-looking, though. And I found out that if I don't insult her as much, she doesn't hit me nearly as often." This was definitely not what Ukyou wanted to be hearing about. "Say, Ranchan, is it okay if I ask you a question?" "Sure, Ucchan, shoot." "Well...just imagine now, that you didn't have these engagements, and Shampoo and Kodachi weren't chasing you. Okay? What kind of girl would you want to be looking for?" "Huh. No engagements, no weird laws, no instant crushes? I wouldn't be looking for any girls." "N-none?" She'd hoped to get clues to getting closer, not this. "Yeah. Before I came to Nerima, I didn't *know* any girls. I kinda thought I might like to get together with a girl, eventually, but I didn't know what kind of girls I would like, or how to approach them. And my martial arts training was the big thing on my mind. "And to tell the truth, I was also kinda looking forward to some freedom. I didn't really mind being on the road with Pops so much, but it was beginning to grate on me that I had to follow his orders all the time. Most of all, I wanted to be able to go where *I* wanted, do what *I* wanted. If I've got to think of what a girl wants before I do anything, then there isn't that kind of freedom. With these engagements, I'll never be free that way." "I'm sorry, Ranchan, I didn't realize you felt that way." "Hey, it's not so bad. Being with Ak-- you girls does have its compensations." Not again. Though she tried to ignore it as much as possible, Ranma slipped Akane's name too often for Ukyou's comfort. "Here's the okonomiyaki, Ranchan. I think I'll go see if that baby's still there." * * * "Bye, Ranchan, Akane!" "Bye, Ucchan!" "Goodbye, Ukyou!" Ukyou let her hand down as the coup--no, two separate people who happen to be walking together! she reminded herself--turned out of sight. She had to get back to the okonomiyaki-ya, get it ready for the dinner crowd. She sighed. That conversation at lunch...was there really any hope? The answer to her question wasn't promising. If only Ranma was the one pursuing *her*! Hmm...apply the question to herself. If she wasn't engaged to Ranma, what kind of boy would she be looking for? Ukyou walked for several blocks, thinking. And drawing a blank. Simply put, her idea of a husband was Ranma. Fiance, Ranma. Boyfriend, Ranma. Male buddy, Ranma. She hadn't quite seen it that way before, but she'd never really even considered another man. During her long years of denying her femininity, she'd deliberately squelched any feelings for boys. And it wasn't as if other men hadn't presented themselves to her. If you could call them "men." "Whose fault is that, hon?" she asked herself. "You dress like a boy most of the time, live like a boy, naturally you're not gonna attract the normal men." She did own a schooldress, had even considered wearing it to see if Ranma liked her better that way, but had chickened out at the last moment. And even the men who saw through her masculine facade would be put off by her obvious devotion to Ranma, except the stupid or crazy ones. But what good did it do her to think of other men? How was that going to win Ukyou what she wanted most of all? "Ukyou-sama..." She looked up to see Konatsu pointing back behind her. Ukyou had walked right past Ucchan's door. "I apologize for my words of last night. They were ill-considered." "Yeah, well, you and me both, Konatsu. Forgiven, and I'm sorry about kicking you out. C'mon in, it's time to go to work." * * * It was lunchtime again. Time to spring her little surprise on Ranma. Ukyou had come up with it last night, between orders of the pork special. Ah, there he was, trying to fend off Shampoo and Akane's dueling lunch boxes. Ukyou beckoned from around a corner, and Ranma took the hint. He leaped away from the arguing girls, and in a few minutes joined her in an abandoned classroom. "What's up, Ucchan? Got a new recipe today?" "No free lunch this time, Ranchan. I have something to tell you." Ranma's face fell. No food and an "important announcement" usually meant bad news. "Ranma, I've tried as hard as I can to put this off, but I can't take it any longer..." "Ukyou, y-you're leaving?" "No, not yet. But I am thinking of seeing other men." "O-other men?" There was a satisfyingly stunned expression on his face. "Let's face it, we've been far from going steady from the beginning. You simply won't commit to me, so I think I should explore my options." Ranma looked at her, blank at first, then slowly grinning. "So who's the lucky guy?" "Eh?" "Konatsu, I bet! Knew you didn't take him in just 'cause you needed a busboy." Ukyou blushed. "No! I'm not seeing Konatsu!" "Can't be Ryouga, he's off with Akari. Tsubasa back again?" "No, and no! Ranchan..." "So, who else could it be? Lessee..." "Ranma! I'm not seeing anyone else yet! I was just thinking about it." He could be so infuriating, sometimes. "Oh. Well, I hope you find someone nice. A cute girl like you shouldn't be alone." He's just giving up on me, like that? Ukyou thought. Nah, he just hasn't realized the meaning of this. Ranchan will figure it out soon, I hope. The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. "Well, good luck, Ucchan." "Yeah. Good luck." She exhaled. Well, if he wasn't going to get jealous, she'd just have to find someone *really* good. It couldn't be that hard, right? And if Ranma did come to realize what he was missing, it'd be nice to have him chase her for a change. Somewhere, an angel breathed a sigh of relief. THE END Author's Note: This one came about in part because of Blade always going on about how Ukyou is the sanest/smartest of Ranma's love interests, and in part because of the reaction to "Another Angel." To me, the tragedy of Ukyou's life is not that she can't have what she wants, but that she blinds herself to how easy it would be to find happiness any other way. So I decided to let her be the smartest one for once, and see other options than being dumped (as in so many "Akane wins" fics) or falling for an author insert character to clear the way for the Ranma/Akane relationship (you know who you are...) No, it's not a final solution to Ukyou's problems, but that would be unrealistic in a bad sense. This may not be a happy ending, but I like to think it's a hopeful one. SKJAM! Comments begged for... Visit my web page at http://geocities.datacellar.net/Tokyo/Flats/5990 for my earlier stories! SKJAM!