(Previously: In this alternate world, the youngest daughter of
the Tendou family is named Usagi. She's engaged to Ranma Saotome...and
is also secretly Sailor Moon. Last time, she met the mysterious Tuxedo
Kamen.)
Every sentient being has fears. Some fears are nebulous or
irrational, others are focused or based on real danger. Right now,
Jadeite's fears were the latter. He was standing right in front of the
object of his fear. He cleared his dry throat. "My Queen."
Queen Beryl looked at him without moving her face. "Jadeite.
You have disappointed me." She returned her gaze to the crystal ball
which stood before her. Inside, Jadeite could see flashes of white and
blue, a blonde girl with a peculiar hairdo.
"It was that accursed Sailor Moon! She'll rue her interference
with our plans." Jadeite was glad none of the other Dark Generals were
here. Zoicite especially had a way of making simple statements acid
sharp.
"First Sailor V. Now Sailor Moon. Odd, that when one foe
vanishes, another appears, very similar to the first."
Jadeite considered. Could Sailor Moon be V's sister, or a close
friend, privy to her secret, and thus able to carry on? Or...Sailor Moon
could be Sailor V in a new costume, having survived her apparent death.
Either way, he would crush the new interloper, and this time there would
be no doubt of her demise.
"Queen Beryl. Though a thousand foes spring up, I will strike
them down. My next plan will be her undoing." Now to think of a next
plan...
"See that it is, Jadeite. I am a patient woman...but no saint."
Queen Beryl almost smiled. She enjoyed the fear her minions had for her
even as she held their complete loyalty. If they knew the truth... but
she set aside that fear as impossible.
HALF MOON
by Scott K. Jamison
(Takahashi/Takeuchi disclaimer)
Chapter Three: Hair of the Dog
Ranma trudged to the bathroom. Today's morning sparring session
had gone badly for him, and he needed a quick hot soak to get back in his
proper shape.
"Stupid Pops, always gotta aim for the pond, how're the fish
supposed to get any rest..." he grumbled. He slid open the changing
room door and shucked his clothing, still wrapped up in his indignation.
So naturally he didn't notice the other set of clothing in the basket.
Not until he was about to enter the tub area proper and the door
opened without him touching it. Behind the door was Usagi, who was
wearing what one normally did in the tub.
There was a three-second silence. Then Usagi screamed.
"AAAAHHHHGGG!" She took another deep breath. "Ranma-chan'sapervert and
peekingatmeagain!"
Ranma flushed. "No, no, Usagi, I--" then decided he should
really turn around. Then he screamed.
As Ranma ran out of the room, still female and without his
clothing, Usagi stared. She'd expected him to make some kind of excuse
or smartass remark, or maybe even apologize. But instead--
"I wonder what got into him?"
"No idea," answered Luna, who'd come in when Usagi screamed the
first time.
It was a bit early for visiting hours, but Naru wanted to see how
Gosunkugi was before she got to school. His peculiar behavior the day
before had been the subject of much gossip, and if she had the straight
scoop, Naru could trade it for juicy stuff from Nabiki. Unfortunately,
the pale boy seemed to have no recollection of his actions.
While she looked at his chart (fractured toe, internal bleeding,
bruised hands and one arm dislocated at the shoulder) Naru asked, "you
don't remember fighting Ranma at all?"
"No. I am *so* dead. Didn't Usagi-chan come with you?"
"Well, after the way you tried to make her kiss you yesterday, I
don't think you can expect any visits for a while."
"*groan*" Gosunkugi tried to sink deeper into the hard hospital
pillows. The pain and embarrassment he was feeling now would almost have
been worth it. If he could remember any of the things he'd done to get
them...
Kasumi had taken pity on Ranma and tossed him a spare pair of
boxers and a teakettle. Dressed now, he was trying to eat breakfast. If
his father just wouldn't yell at him so much.
"What's the matter with you, boy?" snarled Genma. "Screaming
like a little girl just because you saw your fiancee naked!"
"That's not what it was, Pops. It--"
"You peeping at Usagi, Ranma? I thought you weren't impressed
with her figure," slipped in Nabiki. She was in a good mood this
morning. She'd managed to get a couple of shots of Ranma's female side
the previous night, and one of him running by this morning. If it wasn't
too blurry, it would fetch a high price from a certain hentai.
"It's not nice to peep," put in Kasumi. She knew perfectly well
that's not what Ranma had intended, but he did have to learn to be more
careful.
"Arrggh! Doesn't anybody listen to me around here? It wasn't my
fault!"
"What wasn't your fault, Ranma-chan?" asked Usagi, as she came up
to the table. Ranma didn't register the dark bundle she was carrying.
"I...I shoulda knocked."
"That's okay, Ranma, you're forgiven. So, Luna, you like some
breakfast?"
"Meow," replied the black cat.
"Aah! K-k-cat!" said Ranma as he quickly moved behind his
father.
"Mm? Oh, yes, I haven't introduced you yet. Ranma, this is my
cat, Luna. Luna, this is Ranma." Usagi held her pet out to Ranma,
expecting him to make appreciative gestures.
"Get that thing away from me!"
"Ranma-chan, come on. She won't bite. Luna-chan's a good cat,
aren't you, girl?"
"Liar! It's a cat! Cats are...cats are...evil!"
"Oh, so her name is Luna? You didn't tell us you were adopting a
pet," said Kasumi, taking the cat into her own arms and not so
coincidentally blocking it from Ranma's direct view.
"Um, she sorta followed me home. Can I keep her, Papa, please?
I already love her, and shewon'tbeanytrouble, and I'lltakerealgoodcare--"
Genma cut in. "Usagi, for the sake of your fiance, the cat will
have to go." Ranma nodded vigorously from his spot behind his father.
"Huh? You want me to give up Luna for that perverted half-boy
baka?" Usagi didn't mean to be hurtful, really, but she couldn't
understand how her pet (and secret mentor) could be any threat to Ranma.
"Hey, Dumpling-head! I didn't ask for this engagement to
a...a..cat-lover! So there!"
Usagi blinked. Since when was "cat-lover" an insult? "Are you
allergic?"
"Uh, not exactly..."
"I can see I'll have to tell you the whole story," began Genma.
"When Ranma was ten..."
There was a ragged man playing the harmonica on a street corner
in Shinjuku. Passersby tossed small coins into his hat. He was almost
entirely what he appeared to be, but this busker also had a second source
of income. Various organizations paid him to keep his eyes and ears open
for tidbits of interest to them. Particularly interesting information
could be sold to two or three of them.
He was swinging into the Tetsuwan Atom theme song when he noticed
a girl passing by. She was pretty, with long blonde hair, but the most
remarkable thing about her was the crescent moon mark on her forehead.
She was quickly lost in the crowd, but the busker was sure of what he'd
seen.
The man quickly finished his tune, clawed the change from his
hat, and went in search of a phone. He hoped the "Dark Agency" number he
had been given was still active.
"Stupid father!" Ranma punched his father in the head.
"How shameful!" replied Genma, snatching Luna from Usagi and
thrusting her in Ranma's direction. The pig-tailed boy immediately shied
away.
Usagi felt sorry for Ranma. His curse was bad enough for him,
but to be subjected to such a sadistic training regimen....dumped into a
pit full of hungry cats with fish tied to him... She was beginning to
understand why he acted like such a jerk. Not that it made her want to
marry him any more. Especially if Genma was going to be her father-in-law!
Luna was getting worried. Her job as guide to Sailor Moon
depended on her being able to stick close by Usagi. She hadn't counted
on someone in the house objecting so strongly to her presence. And if it
came down to only one of them staying, she had no illusions about who
would be forced to leave.
Nabiki made calculations. Now, how could she turn Ranma's
ailurophobia to profit? Then she realized the time, and decided now was
the right psychological moment.
"Hey, Ranma, I have a letter for you from Kunou."
"Another challenge? Well, technically I do still owe him..."
"Actually, this is for your other half."
"Huh?" The letter was addressed to "the girl in the rain." The
wording was a bit hard to follow, but the gist of it was that Kunou
wished Ranma's female form to meet him at sunset. Alone.
"Must not want anyone to see him getting his ass kicked by a girl
again." He crumpled the letter.
"You're not really going, are you, Ranma-chan?" asked Usagi,
who'd reclaimed Luna and was trying to soothe her.
"A Saotome never turns down a challenge. Even if it means going
as a *yech* girl. Tell him I'll be there, Nabiki."
"Right you are. Oh, look at the time."
"Yaah!!" exclaimed Ranma and Usagi together. Any thoughts that
this letter was a bit odd vanished in the prospect of being really really
late. The three teens dashed for school.
Ranma relaxed on the grass near the softball field. Usagi was
playing for one of the teams. Her position seemed to be "way outfield".
A couple of the other boys from his class were loafing with him.
The brown-haired one, Hiroshi, asked "So, Ranma old buddy, you
gone all the way with her yet?"
"What!? No!"
Daisuke, Hiroshi's near-constant companion, put in, "Well, you
two are engaged. You've at least gotten to second base, right?"
"Why would I want to do that with such a clumsy, sexless girl?"
Ranma regretted saying that almost as soon as he got to the question
mark, but had no time to reconsider as a softball impacted his cheek.
Hard.
"Great," said Sayuri. "First time all season Usagi hits the ball
and it attacks an innocent bystander."
"He's not so innocent," groused Usagi as she hauled him to his
feet. "Looks like time for a visit to Doctor Toufuu..."
Hinako Ninomiya looked wistfully at the display of candy in the
store window. It all looked so yummy! But she reminded herself that she
had to eat a balanced diet, and reluctantly moved on. She already had a
small bag of groceries, mostly instant ramen, but needed some fruit and
vegetables. One of these days she was definitely going to need to learn
to cook.
She thought about the home visits she was going to have to make
soon. The teacher had been putting them off for far too long. And when
she was honest with herself, she admitted it was because she was afraid.
As a trainee teacher, Hinako had found that most people simply
didn't take her seriously. She could change that with the students by
demonstrating her "special talents", and the other teachers soon learned
that she had a good mind behind her juvenile manner. But parents...she
had only a brief time to show that she was a teacher, and a good one. It
would be easier if she could maintain her other form for longer periods,
but it had a habit of fading at the worst times.
Her thoughts turned to two particular students. She knew one of
Usagi Tendou's problems was common to many teenagers. Her body clock was
a little "off" from the school day's, so she had to wake up well before
her body was ready to, and probably felt energetic well into the night.
Thus her habit of falling asleep in the morning classes. Since the
school day couldn't be changed to suit Usagi, her parents were simply
going to have to enforce a proper bedtime, regardless of how onerous that
would seem to the girl.
The poor study habits were a more serious problem. And judging
by Ranma Saotome's work so far, he wasn't going to be much help there.
The boy was obviously a delinquency waiting to happen. She could almost
taste his ki already...
Hinako made her purchases, and struggled off with the large
grocery bags. She didn't see the bottle someone had left lying in the
street, and stepped on it.
"Aiigh--" Someone had caught her before she hit ground. And now
a pair of hands were catching apples out of the air in a rather dazzling
display of dexterity.
"There we go. Safe and sound." The hands belonged to a
middle-aged man with long black hair and a mustache. He was wearing a
dark gi. Despite the worry lines in his face, his smile was kind, and
Hinako thought he was quite the handsomest man she had ever seen.
"Th-thank you, sir."
"No problem, Miss. It is the duty of a martial artist to help those
in distress. Would you like some help carrying those bags?"
"Why, yes, please."
It was not until he waved goodbye that Hinako realized she had
not even asked the man's name. Somehow, though, she knew they would be
meeting again.
"Why, Usagi-chan, it looks like you've been building up those arm
muscles." The doctor grinned at his own joke.
"You really think so? Oh I'msosorry Ranma-chan,
thatwasn'tsupposed to happen."
"'Sokay," muttered Ranma. "I gotta take your klutziness into
account more."
"Klutziness!? It wasn't even a foul tip!"
The telephone rang.
"Usagi-chan could you get that? This ointment will take a little
more stirring."
"Okay, Toufuu-sensei!" She picked up the receiver. "Moshi
Moshi! Oh, it's...you. Yes, thanks for calling ahead. Bye-bye!"
Ranma noticed she looked a little nervous.
"Who was it?"
"Someone's coming right over, Toufuu-sensei. Ranma and I will be
going now."
"Hold still just a little longer, Ranma. There we are. That
should bring down the swelling a bit."
"Thanks, Doc." Ranma was surprised by Usagi grabbing his arm and
dragging him from the room.
"Thanks, Sensei, bye!"
"You kids have a nice date now." Both the teens blushed. Ranma
tried to protest they weren't going on a date, but Usagi kept rushing
him.
Once they were outside, he asked, "So what's the big deal we had
to leave for?"
"You remember I said the Sensei likes Kasumi-oneechan?"
"Uh, yeah, I guess."
"Well, whenever he meets her he starts acting kind of funny..."
"Funny how?"
"Funny weird, he mistakes people for other people, and he twists
things in his hands."
"Sounds like he's got it bad."
"It must really be nice to be that much in love...Oh, it's nearly
sunset! Don't you have that challenge?"
"Oh yeah." Ranma sighed. He really didn't want to do this, but
a challenge was a challenge. He picked up a nearby bucket and filled it.
He stared into the water for a long moment. This would be the first time
he had ever deliberately changed into a girl. Another little bit of his
self-respect gone.
*SPLASH*
"Good luck, Ranma-chan."
"Why the heck do you keep calling me Ranma-chan, anyways? I
thought you were against this engagement thing too."
"Because it bugs you." Usagi smiled and stuck out her tongue.
Kunou strode through the field, the setting sun lending a scarlet
glow to the tall grass. A slight breeze ruffled his hair. In his
old-fashioned garb, he might well have been mistaken for a wandering
samurai from a chambara drama.
He spotted the pig-tailed girl in the Chinese clothing standing
at the edge of the field. Curiously, she was soaking wet, though there
wasn't a cloud in the sky. As he strolled nearer, Kunou noted a fresh
bruise on the girl's cheek. He frowned. Who had dared to strike her?
But until they had been properly introduced, it would be rude of him to
pry.
The girl shifted into a ready stance as Kunou approached.
Perhaps she had not understood the letter? The kendoist knew that some
people had trouble following classical Japanese.
"Yo, Kunou, I'm ready when you are!"
"As the sunset is gleaming scarlet like your own titian tresses,
so these roses bloom as our true love shall!" He tossed her the bouquet
he'd prepared. Healthy red roses, not the sickening sable his sister
favored.
The pig-tailed girl caught the flowers and stared at them in
obvious shock. Clearly she was an innocent who had never before been
properly flattered.
"Pig-tailed girl! I would date with thee!" She just stood
there, shaking her head. Kunou understood. She was shy. He had done
enough for now.
"Like the twining cords of fate, we soon shall be together!
Fare well, my pig-tailed goddess!" He strode off, laughing heartily as
he contemplated how happy they would be together.
Behind him, Ranma sank to his knees in shock. "No, he couldn't
be...."
"I don't think this is such a good idea, Usagi..."
"Relax, Luna-chan! We're going to show Ranma he has nothing to
fear from you, and then you won't have to worry about being kicked out!"
The cat stoically endured having the baby bonnet fastened under
her chin. Her dignity was being sorely tested.
The sounds of someone entering came from the foyer. Usagi's
first impulse was to rush right out and put her plan into action, but
the footsteps were too slow and unsteady to be Ranma's.
But they were, as she saw when he came into the living room. He
was still in female form, but his eyes were slightly unfocused.
"Hi, Ranma-chan! How'd the fight go?"
"Wasn't one." This in a mumble that suggested his mind was a
million miles away.
"Kunou-sempai didn't show up?" That didn't seem too likely.
"Oh, he was there, all right."
"So what happened?"
"I don't wanna talk about it, OK!?" exploded Ranma. Usagi shrank
back. Then something clicked in her mind. Kunou-sempai couldn't
possibly--he just couldn't, could he? She mentally stamped down the
idea.
"O-okay. Ranma, I want you to do something for me."
"Uh?" Ranma had gone back to an unfocused look.
"Hold this? She's absolutely harmless."
Ranma didn't register what Usagi was talking about at first.
Then he saw the baby bonnet and decided she wanted him to hold a doll for
some reason. Must be wanting to bring out my nurturing side, he thought.
Fat chance. But he put out his arms anyways.
Wait a minute. It's warm and breathing. A real baby? He took a
look down. Luna stared back at him.
"YAAAHH! Cat! Gettit offa me!" Ranma sprang back from the
table, and Luna sunk her claws into his shirt to keep from getting thrown
off.
"Yagh!" "Mrowr!" "Getitoffoffoff!!" "Fsst!"
Usagi looked on in horror as Ranma bounced randomly around the
room trying to dislodge Luna, while the cat clung ever tighter to avoid
being smashed against a wall.
Genma came into the room, sized up the situation, and snatched
Luna off Ranma as he passed. A fair-sized scrap of cloth came with her.
"Young lady," he addressed Usagi, "the cat is definitely going to
have to go."
"I don't suppose that now is a good time to mention that my
friend wants me to take care of her cat Hanachiyo for the next two
weeks?" mentioned Kasumi, bringing in the first of the supper dishes.
Jadeite looked around the pet store with a certain amount of
satisfaction. After checking through the youma available to him, he'd
found one that was not only superior physically, but fairly bright as
well. Her little creations would be most useful.
"I have subdued the owner," the now in human shape youma informed
him. The magics that allowed youma to assume the form of a given human
required that the template be left alive to serve as a focus. An
inconvenience, but all things have limits.
"Good. Then it is time to dispose of the old stock so the new
product can be moved in." Jadeite swung his arm to indicate the caged
animals, most of which were awake and agitated by the Dark Kingdom
presence.
"Very well. These humans have peculiar tastes in pets. Like
this one. Who would ever buy a stupid little pig?" She picked the
little black swine from its cage by the black and yellow bandana around
its neck. "Better off eaten, I think."
The youma unhinged her jaw like a snake, making it apparent she
was going to swallow the animal whole. The piglet stared horrified for a
moment, then twisted and bit her hand. Hard. It had remarkably sharp
teeth for its size.
The youma let out a yelp and dropped the pig, which promptly
bolted out the door at a truly impressive speed.
"Why that little--" She was about to chase it when Jadeite laid a
restraining hand on her shoulder.
"No! Going after it would bring suspicion something is wrong
here. Besides, who is it going to tell?"
They both laughed, though there was no humor in them.
Ranma was standing in the field at sunset. Kunou approached and
spoke to him, words of love.
"Can't you see I'm a guy!?" asked Ranma. Then he looked down and
saw that he'd somehow become female again.
He had to get away. Ranma ran, and found himself in the Tendou
bathroom. He plunged into the hot water.
When he surfaced, he looked down--and saw that he was still
female, and his clothes had vanished. "But hot water fixes me! How can
I still be a girl?"
Kunou's head and shoulders surfaced from the water. He was still
in his kendo garb, and roses poked up beside him. "You are the loveliest
of women, and always will be. I love you. I love you!"
Kunou reached for Ranma, and Ranma tried to fight him off, but
his girl muscles were too weak to resist. He was being crushed against
Kunou's furry chest. Furry?
Ranma looked again and saw that Kunou's face had gone all furry
with whiskers, his mouth was full of razor-sharp teeth, and his
triangular ears were twitching.
"I love you so mrrowch, Rrranmmeow! I want to eat you up!"
Ranma screamed himself awake.
Kasumi sighed inwardly. Ranma was especially surly this morning,
and had taken it out on his father during their sparring session. Even
now, the pigtailed boy was furiously concentrating on his breakfast to
the exception of all else. Usagi was looking depressed, no doubt worried
about Luna being thrown out. Uncle Saotome hadn't bothered to change
back from panda form, and Father was annoyed that Ranma and Usagi hadn't
yet acknowledged their engagement properly.
Only Nabiki seemed in good sorts, and from the glances she was
shooting at Ranma, she'd found some way to profit from him.
Kasumi considered what to do. Genma was mostly beyond her power
to influence; he'd shrugged off her scolding about his actions towards
Ranma as if he hadn't even heard. Father could be cajoled, but he had
the idea of the engagement stuck in his head. And both of them seemed
adamant about having the marriage start as soon as possible.
So, she'd have to work on the two engagees to see if some sort of
compromise couldn't be reached.
Luna stretched under Usagi's bed. The indignity of it all! But
it was a good idea for her to lie low until Ranma cooled down. It
couldn't be too long though. The cat was already beginning to sense the
Dark Kingdom at work somewhere.
At the pet shop, the youma that was impersonating the owner was
almost ready to open for the day when a thought struck her.
What am I going to call these things? I doubt the humans will be
attracted by "long-haired energy-sucking rats." She considered and
discarded several names as she unlocked the front door.
There was a sudden "whrr" sound as something sped past her. The
youma turned to see a short, impossibly cutesy girl on roller skates
holding up one of the long-furred creatures. The real pet shop owner
would have of course recognized her as Azusa Shiratori, notorious
shoplifter.
"Ooh, Kawaii! And you smell so nice! Azusa-chan will name you
Chanel! You like that, Chanel-chan?" She spun in place, making the
furry thing dizzy.
The youma didn't have a chance to move before the strange girl
zipped by her again.
"Little Chanel will come home with Mama!"
The youma was about to pursue when she remembered she *wanted*
people to take the creatures. "Chanel? That's it! I'll call them
`Shanellas'!" She went to the counter and began making signs.
"So, Nabiki Tendou, what can you tell me of the pig-tailed
goddess whom I have chosen to be my own sweet bride?"
Nabiki narrowed her eyes as she considered. She didn't want to
get Ranma too upset with her, but this was just too good not to be milked
for all she could get. Already, Kunou had given her Y2000 for each
picture of Ranma's female form. (The nude one had turned out to be a
little *too* revealing and Nabiki decided to save that for an
emergency.) She could easily reap much, much more.
"Well..."
Kunou handed her Y5000, her usual fee for a background
information check.
"She's into martial arts, she likes all kinds of food, she
doesn't have a boyfriend and to the best of my knowledge never has had
one..."
"That is all I need to hear! Save one more thing. How do I get
in contact with her?"
"Now that is going to be a bit tricky..."
Ranma's mood had lightened slightly from the morning, going all
the way up to black.
He was not happy to see Kunou approaching him with a determined
expression on his face.
"Ranma Saotome! I would have words with you!"
"Yeah, whaddya want, Kunou?"
"That is Kunou-sempai to you." The upperclassman held out a
doll, one of the Western type with a pink gown, curly blonde hair and big
blue eyes.
"What's that?"
"A cute doll, you simpleton."
"So?"
"I wish to bestow this on the fair pigtailed girl, and quoth
Nabiki Tendou, `If you want her to have it, you'll have to go through
Ranma.' So, will you be so kind as to convey this token of affection to
my one true love and--"
"Stow it, Kunou. As far as I'm concerned, you'll never see her
again." Ranma turned and stomped off around a corner.
Kunou followed in anger. How dare that insolent pup turn his
back on his better! But when he turned the corner, he saw no sign of
Ranma. Instead, the pig-tailed girl stood there!
He embraced his love, not caring that she was sopping wet. "At
last, we are reunited! Let us celebrate our passion together..."
"You idiot!"
Then Kunou felt hot water pouring down his arms and opened his
eyes. Somehow, Ranma had slipped into his arms and stolen away the
pigtailed goddess.
"Doncha get it, moron?!" Ranma punched off his molester.
"But--but how!?"
Nabiki took Kunou aside. "Um, one detail I forgot to mention.
The girl? Her body and soul are Ranma's. One hundred percent."
"Ah! I understand now!"
"You do? So you'll leave me alone?"
Kunou took the doll in one hand and pulled a Ranma hand puppet
out of his pocket with the other. (No, you don't want to know what he
had one handy for.) In a falsetto, he said, "Oh please Master, don't
hurt me!"
Then in a growly voice, and making the Ranma puppet strike the
doll, "No, my proud beauty, you belong to me!"
Back to the falsetto. "But are you not engaged to Kitsune
Tendou?"
Growly again, "What do I care? Off with your clothes!"
Ranma kicked Kunou in the face. "It's not like that!"
"Monster! Sorceror! Enslaver of women!"
Ranma punched Kunou out of sight. "Aw, man..."
Ranma kicked a soda can. It bounced off two walls and into a
trash container. Things were going from bad to worse. Now this stupid
curse had a boy falling in love with his female form, and wouldn't you
know Kunou was too stupid to spot the obvious? He'd talk to Usagi about
it, but she'd probably just laugh at him. Besides, if he went home to
see her, Usagi'd probably foist that awful cat on him again.
Maybe it was time to go on the road again. If he just kept
running long enough, maybe his problems would never catch up. Ranma
shook his head. No, that was his father's approach, and it seemed to
just get the two of them in more trouble.
Head down, Ranma was able to spot a Y500 coin. His first
thought, naturally, was of food.
"All right! Odangos, here I come!" Then Ranma stopped, puzzled
as to why he'd picked that particular item. "Huh. Still, sounds good."
There was a commotion up the street. Since it was on his way,
Ranma went to look. As he got closer, he saw that it was a pet shop.
Now why didn't I think of this before? thought Ranma. If I get
Dumpling-Head a real pet, then she can give up the cat. After all she's
apparently only had Luna a couple of days. Maybe a rabbit?
With this, he approached the shop. There was a fair crowd,
mostly preteens, but with some high schoolers mixed in.
The shop's owner, an attractive woman, was shouting, "Only a few dozen
left! Get your shanella before they're gone!"
Ranma was curious as to what a shanella might be, and quickly cut
through the crowd. The creature looked sort of like a long-haired
hamster with shiny eyes.
"Ooh, they smell so nice!" squealed a girl nearby. Ranma
recognized her as Yuka, one of Usagi's friends, though not as close as
Naru. She was practically putting her face in the shanella's fur. Well,
if other girls liked shanellas, then probably Usagi would too. And they
were going for only Y300 apiece, so he'd have enough to get a little food
for himself too!
"Yo! I'll take one!"
Several of the other customers glared at him.
"Get in line, buddy."
Ranma impatiently waited to be served, slapped down his money and
grabbed a shanella. He barely had enough patience left to get his
change.
Once outside, away from the shrieking crowd, he took a good look
at his purchase. Its fur was white with just a hint of purple tinting,
and it looked up at him with appealing eyes.
"So, you're supposed to smell nice, huh, little fella?" Ranma
brought the animal up near his face and breathed in. The girls had been
right, it did smell nice. Kind of like cinnamon and flowers and baking
bread all rolled together. He half-closed his eyes as fond memories
came near the surface of his mind.
"How about I call you `Kaoru'? I think Usagi's really gonna like
you." Ranma inhaled deeply again, and held the creature close to his
chest.
Usagi smiled as she bid Naru goodbye for the evening. Their
tennis games were always fun, even if she always lost. She wondered if
Ranma would like to play tennis sometime. She also wondered what Kasumi
was fixing for supper.
As she entered the house, she decided it was probably fish,
judging by the good smells coming out from the kitchen. "I'm back,
Kasumi-oneechan!"
"Good to have you, Usagi-chan. Is Ranma-kun back too?"
"I haven't seen him since school. I only lost 15-3 today!"
"That's nice. Lots of homework tonight?"
"Aww, did you have to remind me?" Usagi knew her sister only
wanted the best for her, but studying hardly seemed that.
There were footsteps from the entrance, and Ranma appeared
without a greeting. He was holding something in his hands.
"Hi, Ranma. Could you show me some new moves in the dojo
tonight?" Usagi had come to the conclusion that she'd need to improve
her fighting skills if she wanted to win as Sailor Moon.
"Usagi. Busy tonight. Maybe later." He didn't even look at
her, but raised his hands to his face and took a deep sniff. "Ummm...so
nice."
"Whatcha got there, Ranma? Can I see?" She moved closer to look.
"Kaoru's mine! Bug off!" Ranma jerked his hands away from her,
but she was able to see he was holding a small furry object.
"Kaoru?"
"He's a shanella, and he's *my* pet. You can keep your lousy old
cat."
Usagi was very puzzled. It was nice Ranma had found a pet, of
course, but boy was he being a jerk about it. And she'd never heard of
anything called a "shanella". And since when did he turn down any
opportunity to show off his martial arts?
"Are you okay, Ranma-chan?"
"Sure. Just need to take care of Kaoru." He went up the stairs,
probably to the room he shared with his father.
Kasumi called again. "Ranma-kun! Supper is ready!"
No reply.
This was not normal. After a few days of observation, Kasumi had
come to the conclusion that only martial arts and excessive concern with
his "manliness" surpassed food in Ranma's priorities, and not by much.
And to the best of her knowledge, he hadn't left the house.
"Usagi-chan, did Ranma look all right to you when he came home?"
"He was acting kind of weird with that new pet of his, and he
looked tired, his eyelids were all droopy. Maybe he fell asleep?"
That was a possibility. Kasumi decided to go up and check.
"Usagi-chan, would you set the table?"
"Sure!"
Kasumi went up the stairs and knocked on Ranma's door. No
answer, so she pushed it open.
Ranma was lying on the floor in the middle of the sparse room,
hands propping up his head, looking at a little ball of fur. Probably
his new pet.
"Ranma-kun, it's time for supper."
"Uh? Oh, supper. I'll be down in a bit."
"Supper's ready now. You don't want your father to eat your
share, do you?"
Ranma shook himself a bit. "Heck no. C'mon, Kaoru, let's go."
"No, Ranma-kun, you'll have to leave your pet here. You can play
with it later." She wouldn't have made that rule, but fair was fair, and
due to Ranma's phobia, Usagi couldn't bring Luna to the table.
Ranma actually struggled with the notion of leaving the shanella,
but hunger won out. "I'll bring you some food too, okay Kaoru?" The
creature made no sign of having heard.
Ranma ate hastily, and rushed back upstairs as soon as he was
done. He didn't even seem to hear Nabiki's question, "So what's gotten
into him?"
The next morning, Ranma's mind seemed to be on other things than
the daily sparring. He didn't even bother to change back from girl form
before heading straight back to cuddle his new pet.
"Ranma-chan, don't you want breakfast? And you can't go to
school as a girl!" Usagi nagged.
"If I can't have Kaoru at the table with me, I don't want
breakfast. And who cares how I show up at school?"
That did not sound like Ranma at all. Usagi put the back of her
hand on Ranma's forehead. No fever, but he still looked half-asleep.
After breakfast, Usagi finally resorted to dumping a teakettle's
worth of hot water on Ranma herself and half-hauling him out of the
house. "Honestly, Ranma! I don't act that goofy about Luna, and
she's--"
"A cat." His voice was curiously flat, none of the usual
hesitation Ranma had about the subject.
Kunou was at the gate, and Usagi waved, but the upperclassman
ignored her and bore down on Ranma.
"To rescue the fair pig-tailed girl from your villainous
clutches, I am willing to make the ultimate sacrifice! But nay, I need
not fear that, for my pure heart and superior skill shall carry the day.
Ranma Saotome, I challenge thee!"
"Go 'way, Kunou."
"That's Kunou-sempai, unmannered cur. Now prepare, as mine good
right arm sweeps chaff from wheat!"
Ranma stiff-armed the kendoist, then jumped up and down on him a
few times. "Busy. Talk later." The pigtailed boy headed for class.
"Odd. I appear to be supine. Yet I clearly won the fight.
Unless, yes, Saotome's dark powers misled me and thus I must find him
once more--Urk." Further ranting was forestalled by the mass of students
seeking entrance to the school over Kunou's body.
Usagi was getting worried. A full quarter of the students in her
class had the same half-asleep look Ranma did, and the same surly
attitude. Most of them were girls, but a few boys were mixed in.
They were getting more agitated too. Yuka, two seats over,
looked positively constipated. Suddenly, Usagi's friend exploded in
frustration.
"I can't stand it any more!" Yuka reached under her desk and
pulled out a fur ball that looked like Ranma's new pet. She inhaled
sharply. "Aaahhh..."
This seemed to act as a signal to the others. Soon all the
sleepy-looking students had shanellas on their desks, including Ranma.
"Class, can anyone tell us why..." Hinako-sensei's question
drifted off as she turned from the blackboard and saw the animals being
petted. Petted in preference to listening to her lecture!
"Put those things away! A classroom is not the proper place for
pets! Saotome-san, I just knew you were a delinquent!"
Everyone ignored the teacher.
"Happo-goen-satsu!" Once again Hinako pulled out her coin and
performed the ki-sucking ritual. This time there was a different
effect. Although the ki sucked from the students with shanellas bounced
right back to them, several other students were caught in the area of
effect.
These students began to shrivel, their vital energies being drawn
out of them. Meanwhile, those same energies entered the teacher's body
and began to transform her. She ballooned in size, becoming considerably
taller. The process also seemed to age her, so that she now looked to be
in her early 20s rather than her early teens. The yellow stretch dress
she wore now showed womanly curves, and her features could best be
described as "drop-dead sexy."
Most of the male students started to drool, and even Ranma had
his mental fog pierced enough to think, neat trick.
"Well," the now-adult teacher continued, "if I can't take your
battle auras, let's see how you like the reverse. Happo Change Return!"
A glowing ball of ki exploded from her hands, smashing desks and students
in its path. It struck Ranma in the chest, tossing him out of his chair
and into the wall.
"Ouch." Ranma brushed himself off and rose. "I'd smack you for
that, but I don't hit girls. Hey, Kaoru, come here, little buddy." The
other students with shanellas were also looking for theirs, and all of
them started leaving the room.
"You can't leave now!" reminded the rapidly-shrinking Hinako.
"Class isn't over yet!" None of the students listened to her. Usagi
dashed out after Ranma.
The assistant principal rubbed the bridge of his nose, grimacing
as his headache surged. It was happening again, mass disruption of
classes by unruly students. It had apparently been some form of mass
hypnosis before, and could be again, but why *his* school?
It was almost enough to make him wish the Principal had been
coherent during their last conversation. The man in Hawaii had jabbered
like an idiot, obviously drunk, and the Assistant had decided to skip the
reason he had called. He'd sent a letter instead.
At least this time, no one was breaking his window.
Usagi hung back, worried that Ranma would spot her. But he
didn't seem too alert, not even noticing the other students carrying
their shanellas.
"Usagi! There you are!" She saw the cat to her left.
"Oh Luna! I think the Dark Kingdom is grabbing Ranma and Yuka
and the others andI'mworriedthey'llgethurt!"
"I thought I sensed something amiss last night. But with things
as they are, I didn't want to raise a fuss."
Usagi pointed. "Looks like everyone's heading for that pet
shop. Let's check it out."
"Not that way, Usagi..."
"Oh, right! MOON PRISM POWER, MAKE UP!" Once again, the
youngest Tendou daughter transformed into Sailor Moon.
She and Luna began running towards the shop. As they got closer,
it could be seen that the victims were being greeted by a beautiful woman
dressed as a pet shop owner, and a handsome blonde man in a grey
uniform.
"Congratulations, you puny humans. Your energy will be very
useful to the Dark Kingdom." The blonde man seemed to be in charge.
Usagi screwed up her courage, leapt to the top of a nearby car,
and began her spiel.
"Hold it right there! I'm the beautiful fuku-wearing soldier of
love and justice, Sailor Moon! You've stolen the affections of these
children with your false pets! And that's just evil! In the name of the
Moon, I'll punish you!"
The blonde man smirked. "Well, well. At last we meet. I am
Jadeite, First General of the Dark Kingdom. You have annoyed us, and
thus you will die." He gestured, and the youma beside him showed its
true form, a giant humanoid rat.
"Eew!" Usagi decided she'd better take care of this Jadeite
creep first. She took off her tiara, spun, and released. "MOON TIARA
ACTION!"
Jadeite waved his hand, and the energy discus stopped as if it'd
slammed into a wall. It fell to the ground and turned back into a
tiara.
"Hey! You can't *do* that!"
"I just did. Kill her." With that, Jadeite slipped sideways
into a patch of darkness. The rat youma pounced.
It was all Usagi could do to avoid its claws. This youma was a
*lot* faster than the others she'd fought. And without her tiara, she
didn't really have a good weapon to use. "Oh, Tuxedo Kamen-sama, where
*are* you?"
Luna noticed the shanella owners beginning to fall as their
energy was exhausted. Ranma was still standing though. She watched as
the youma came ever closer to eviscerating Sailor Moon. The cat winced.
It was a long shot, but something had to be done.
Luna leaped over to Ranma and clawed the shanella from his
hands. "Ranma! Usagi needs your help!"
"Uhh, you hurt Kaoru...you--you---cat!" He still seemed dazed.
Luna put herself right into his face. She had to bring him out of it.
"Wake up, Ranma!"
Back at the Tendou household, Genma Saotome was enjoying the
afternoon breeze. Kasumi was bringing out some tea, and had decided now
would be a good time to find out more about Ranma's ailurophobia.
"Uncle Saotome, just how bad *is* Ranma's fear of cats? He's
just scared of them, right? So he can avoid them if need be."
Genma looked a little shame-faced. "That's not quite all,
Kasumi-chan. You see, Ranma *did* learn the Neko-Ken, in a manner of
speaking. If he cannot escape from a cat, he *yowls*..."
"Talking cat! Demon cat!" Well, at least Ranma is beginning to
respond, Luna thought. She kept pushing into his face. She was not
prepared for what happened next.
Ranma dropped to all fours and began to--purr? Then he gave out
a screech that sounded positively feline, and shook himself as his back
arched.
"What have I done?" asked Luna rhetorically.
Ranma's head twitched back and forth, then spotted Sailor Moon
and the youma. Without hesitation, he leapt (pretty well for starting on
his knees) at the rat creature. He batted at it with a curled hand.
Despite Luna being sure he'd missed, suddenly the youma's fur was
ruffled, and it screamed in pain.
The rat youma turned on its new opponent, and they began to
battle. Despite the monster's superior size, it was quickly losing to
the razorlike "claws" of the berserk Ranma.
"Now, Sailor Moon! Use your tiara!"
"What's Ranma doing? He looks so weird!"
"Never mind! Use the tiara!"
Usagi scrambled over to where the headpiece had dropped and
picked it up. "MOON TIARA ACTION!"
This time the discus hit its intended target and as with those
before it, the youma was reduced to dust.
Ranma dropped back to the floor, obviously confused. "Nrrowwr?"
"Luna, what's the matter with Ranma?"
"It appears to be some manifestation of his fear of cats. I've
never encountered anything like it before!"
"What do I dooo?" Sailor Moon whined, reverting to form now that
the main danger was gone.
"I...I don't know," Luna was forced to admit.
Ranma circled Sailor Moon, a puzzled look on his face.
Usagi looked around and didn't see any other conscious people, and
decided to take a chance. She detransformed.
Ranma's face lit up in a smile.
"Good Ranma-chan, nice Ranma-chan, you don't want to hurt me do
you?" Usagi made coaxing motions with her hand.
She was surprised when Ranma jumped on her, bowling her over, and
even more surprised when the boy started licking her face.
"Hey! Stop that!" Usagi managed to get herself into a sitting
position, and Ranma curled up in her lap.
"Are you all right, Ranma-chan?"
Ranma just purred and laid down his head. A faint snoring told
Usagi he was asleep.
He looked downright nice when he was asleep. Usagi stroked his
hair. "Oh, Ranma-chan, what *am* I going to do?"
At about the same time, two police officers listened politely to
a young man in worn travel clothing.
"I tell you, there are monsters among us! Biding their time,
disguised as humans, waiting for their chance to devour us all!"
"Well now, son, where did you say these monsters were?" asked the
older officer.
"At the pet shop! One of them was impersonating the owner."
"'Tain't no pet shops here in Meiburi, son."
"Meiburi? Then this isn't Tokyo?"
"Nope."
"Well, that isn't important. What matters is that we inform the
government!"
"You said before one of them critters tried to eat you?" asked
the younger, nervous-looking officer. "Just what were you doin' in a pet
shop at night anyhow?"
"Uh...well...er...it's not important!"
"Calm down, son. We believe you," said the older man, not
meaning a word of it. "Why don't you have a seat, and we'll make sure
you get the help you need. Your clothes look kind of ragged; Faifu,
could you fetch this young man a jacket?"
"Jacket? Oh, *that* jacket. Sure thing, Taira."
As the boy in the yellow and black bandana realized just what
they were talking about, he ran out. Now everyone would think he was
insane. "Curse you Ranma Saotome, this is all *your* fault!"
END CHAPTER THREE
Thanks once again to my prereaders, well, the ones who actually
responded...
Comments before this goes off to RAAC, please.
SKJAM!
"Who *are* you?"
"I'm Bruce Wayne, millionaire playboy--oh sh*t, I did it again!"
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