C&C, MSTs and other fun stuff welcome! [brackets indicate thoughts. Unless and until someone in the story develops telepathy, they're always Skyler's.] {brackets indicate, well, you'll see.} It was another miserable day in midwinter in Minnesota. Skyler cursed under his breath as a passing car sprayed near-freezing slush onto his leg. At least he had a job this month. He could buy some more computer time, and save up for a VCR. Oh, and groceries. He shook his leg to remove the worst of the slush, and plodded up the stone steps to his apartment building. Skyler fished out his keys, as for a change the "security" door was actually locked. Then it was up more stairs. The landlord still hadn't gotten around to fixing the shower in the shared bathroom, and Skyler made a mental note to complain again. He opened his apartment door, and entered. Ah, home at last, such as it was. The clutter of videotapes, books, magazines, and other media greeted him silently, as it did every night. His best friends, in a way. At least they never broke his heart. Skyler made a quick meal of scrambled eggs, reading through his mail. Bill, bill, sweepstakes ("I *wish*"), letters from a couple of his fellow otaku. Big convention this weekend, too bad he couldn't go. And a magazine. An anime magazine, of course. In Japanese, the only way to go, even if he still had a preschooler reading level. Brightly colored pictures; beautiful, exotic places; good-looking, exciting people that had adventures Skyler could only dream about. He frowned at himself in the mirror as he brushed his teeth. 36 years old, mousy brown hair, weak blue eyes behind thick glasses, slightly overweight, and with the beard he'd grown simply because it was too dangerous for him to shave. No girlfriend, no social life outside his hobbies, no prospects. Skyler turned on the radio and listened to classical music as he leafed through the magazine again. His eye fell on a pink-haired girl in a curious costume. Utena, one of the new shows he didn't know much about. When he got a VCR again, he'd have to try and get some tapes of it. He traced the line of her cheek on the page. "So pretty...but I'll never meet you. And even if I did, you wouldn't like me. Women never do." Skyler sighed. Time to sleep, to allow him to get up in time for work again. "I wish...I wish I could have an anime life..." MA VIE ET ROSES by Scott Johnson and Scott Jamison (All characters and settings except Skyler Sands and the state of Minnesota are the creation of Saitou Chihou and BePapas. Publishing rights are held by Shogakukan and Terebi Tokyo in Japan, and Central Park Media in the United States. No challenge to these rights is intended.) CHAPTER 1: "Sora kara Ochita Oujisama" [The Prince who Fell from the Sky] He sighed. "Ah, who am I kidding? My life is many things, but a self-insertion fic isn't one of them." His gaze lingered on the pages of the magazine as he flipped through page after page of beautiful women. Chuuka Ichiban, Nadesico, Virus, Rekka no Honou, Utena...Every new anime out there, like every old one, filled to the brim with beautiful girls he'd never meet the like of, adventure he'd never come anywhere close to, *meaning* his life so often lacked... [If only...] He thought to himself as his eyes drooped closed. [If only it could be real, or I could be...] Skyler dreamed that night--a strange dream, even as dreams go. There was a wall, inlaid with a curious pattern--two large roses, with their stems twining around each other. Strange, plunking music--like a simple music box, repeating over and over--played, punctuated by strange chimes, or was that a theremin? A spotlight shone onto the wall from somewhere he couldn't see, casting the shadows of two girls, likewise unseen, onto the wall. "Kashira, kashira!" said one of the girls, the one with a bow in her hair and strange antennae. It was Japanese, but somehow, he could understand it perfectly. Well, of course. It was a dream. "I wonder, I wonder! I wonder how those beings from that `Earth' shall receive us." The other girl, with two pigtails and similarly strange antennae, replied, "They're strange beings indeed. Might they not run from us or hate us?" "Why would they do that?" The first girl struck a dramatic pose, one hand clasped to her heart, the other raised theatrically as she gazed into the sky. "Are we not wise and benevolent? Do we not have the means to right all the wrongs they have suffered? Will we not perfect their planet and raise it to its place among the stars?" She pressed the back of a hand to her brow. "Oh, the great lengths we go to to help others! Oh, such nobility we possess! Let us go among them and demonstrate our greatness and humility!" "Aye, sir!" The second girl saluted and pulled a lever on the shadow of a bank of controls (had that been there before?) The first girl leapt forth-- To a plain defined by the shadows of strange, twisted and barren rock formations. The second girl stood there already, wearing a different and altogether stranger set of antennae. "Kasei ni irrashai!" she called out in a cheery but robotic voice. "Welcome to Mars!" "Girk!" The first girl stiffened with a startled and frustrated sound, giving every impression of just avoiding facefaulting. And then he woke up. Skyler blinked his eyes in the bright sunlight. [What a weird dream,] he thought muzzily as he covered his eyes with an arm. [Guess anime's been eating my brain too much recently. Wonder what time...] That was when several things hit him at once. It was far too bright to be anywhere near when he should have woken up. It was, in fact, far too bright for him to be indoors at all. He was lying on some extremely hard, flat surface--marble perhaps, or some other stone floor. He could hear a multitude of distant voices--a crowd somewhere in the near distance, talking, laughing, arguing, going about their day. He could smell the all-pervasive perfume of roses, enveloping him in their scent. He felt like he was wearing something far different than what he had drifted off in. For that matter, he felt *different*, period. Skyler was on his feet and looking about wildly in a matter of seconds. Something was very wrong here, as if that wasn't the understatement of a millennium. For one thing, barring alien abduction or the like, one didn't generally go to sleep in a somewhat grungy apartment and wake up in what looked to be some sort of grassy courtyard, quartered by white marble pathways and surrounded by buildings that looked half like a school and half like the Parthenon, not to mention one thing that looked like a giant glass birdcage. And more than that... He'd always wondered, in his more idle moments, what it was like for otakufic characters to find themselves in an anime. Did they remain the same and encounter people who looked like what their favorite anime characters would look like if they were real? Or did they become animated themselves? And how did they adjust to walking about in a world with less shading, more abstraction, and bolder, simpler colors? In Skyler's case, the answers were no, yes, and not very well for the first few moments, respectively. "Wow." This summed up his immediate and heartfelt reaction. Skyler looked down at himself. "Whoa, I've lost weight!" He was wearing a tight-fitting jacket of some sort, white with lavender trim, and *tight* lavender trousers, as well as highly-polished black leather boots. Not his favorite color combinations, but interesting...There was a silver ring on the ring finger of his right hand, decorated with a pink bas-relief rose insignia. "Roses...seems to be a theme around here." He looked around, and reflected sunlight from the glass cage attracted him. It proved to be a greenhouse of sorts, although the only thing growing inside was roses. Roses of every shade, size and planting method. "Definitely a theme." But if he stood just so, the glass made a fair mirror. And the first thing he noticed was that he'd left something on the ground back where he'd woken up. He went back to fetch it. There turned out to be three items. A manila envelope, curiously mundane for the surroundings despite the pink rose seal (just like Skyler's ring...), a lavender leather case with a carrying strap, and a crossbow. The last item caused Skyler to raise an eyebrow...and realize he was wearing his glasses. That was peculiar, since he always took them off to sleep. Someone had gone to a lot of trouble here. Looking more closely at the crossbow, he saw that it was not any of the models he'd seen during Society for Creative Anachronism demonstrations, or in sporting goods stores. It looked old-fashioned, but was definitely of modern manufacture. The stock was a highly- polished oak, inlaid with a lacquered rose design. The metal portions were a matte black, and in perfect condition. But there was enough wear to show this was no exhibition piece. This was a working weapon. The case contained a dozen crossbow bolts, again in perfect condition, and spare bow strings, as well as the cranking device for resetting the bow. Skyler would've preferred a Colt or Smith & Wesson, if he had to fight, but he could handle this...if he absolutely had to. The envelope--but his curiosity about his appearance finally turned him back to the glass. Skyler blinked at a virtual stranger. His facial hair was gone, along with the slight wrinkles he'd begun to get in the last few years. He was as slim as he'd been in his high school years, but somehow not as scrawny looking. He could have been anywhere from sixteen to nineteen, as he hadn't changed much during those years, and the style he was "drawn in" now tended to obscure the obvious marks. He did notice that his brown hair was cut in the short style he'd favored since his stint in the Air Force, rather than the shaggy mess from his actual high school days. It looked better with the clothes he was wearing anyway. That clothing looked a lot like a uniform, especially with the old-fashioned epaulets, and the weighted cord going from one of them to his breast pocket. All his pockets were empty to a cursory check. And those shiny black boots were definitely uniform material. "But is it military, or am I in the local marching band?" The fact that he was equipped with a crossbow rather than a saxophone suggested the former. Skyler's large (almost inhumanly so) blue eyes blinked from behind round glasses. Another blessing, ones that flattered his face rather than the black plastic monstrosities of his youth. He smiled, and was rewarded with a gleaming set of teeth. His small chin looked good in this "art style", as did his short, slightly upturned at the end, nose. He took off his glasses. Yes, the small scar was still on the right side of his nose. Thankfully, it hadn't mutated into a Captain Harlock lookalike, but it gave his face a bit of distinctiveness that the "art style" had taken away from his general features. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, then redonned his glasses. Time to check out the envelope. With any luck, it would have his briefing, or at least tell him who he was supposed to be here... The contents of the envelope were fairly minimal--a few sheets of paper, a door key, and a square of some sort of fine cardstock, like a wedding invitation. The top sheet of paper seemed to be some sort of form or semi-personalized letter, beginning with "Welcome to Ohtori Private Academy!" Wait. No, it began with "Shiritsu Ootori Gakuen ni yoroshiku onegai itashimasu!" But somehow the meanings of the kanji and kana were crystal clear to him. [Japanese,] Skyler thought. [Okay, somehow whatever brought me here taught me Japanese. This is getting stranger by the minute. More familiar, okay, but still stranger.] His brow furrowed as he read through the letter. Welcome to Ohtori Private Academy! On behalf of the Board of Trustees and the faculty of the school, we would like to congratulate you on your acceptance as an exchange student, and your decision to attend Ohtori Academy's high school program. You have been assigned to High School First Year Class A, and your dormitory room will be room #23, East Hall. Your tuition is paid in full, although you will be required to perform duties as a teaching aide to the Junior High classes in order to fulfill your work-study agreement. We realize that finding your bearings in a foreign country can be difficult and unsettling. As such, a student in your class has been assigned to guide you around the school and answer any questions you might have. Until the two of you can meet, you should use the enclosed map to guide yourself from school to your dormitory and back. Welcome to Ohtori Academy, and welcome to your future! Sincerely, Ohtori Akio, Chairman of the Board of Trustees Ohtori Kanae, President of the Academy The map was a simple, sketchy diagram showing what looked to be the building with his classroom--a sort of hollow square with a courtyard in the middle, and a round building marked "Student Council Private Rose Garden" in the courtyard. [So that's what that thing is.] A path apparently led out of the school, east a few blocks and a little south, to a building marked "East Hall." (Well, Higashi-kan, actually, but the meaning seemed more important at the moment.) The key, marked 23, was presumably the key to his room. And the card...the card was printed in a slightly elegant script: Your fate is not your own. Only with the Power to Revolutionize the World can you prevent this dream from ending in tragedy. [Cryptic, yet threatening. How nice.] "Dream?" thought Skyler out loud. "But an awfully solid one, to be sure. And I don't usually smell things in my dreams, so it must be someone else's...best not to think about that too hard. Existentialism makes my head hurt." He took another look at the rose garden, behind its wall of glass. And then focused on his reflection again. "I'm probably in an anime," he muttered, but which one? Hmm...Roses, fancy uniforms, weaponry...and the art style...probably Utena? Yeah, it has the French tagline about a `revolutionary girl.' "I should've gotten out the kanji dictionary and translated some more of that article. I have no idea what the plot's about, other than dueling. The look of it reminds me of Rose of Versailles. Brr, I hope not, most of the cast *died* in that one." He took out the map. "Time for a little orienteering. If I'm here, then east must be this way. I'll probably be able to get more privacy to plan in my room...out here in the open, I'm likely to get in--" On cue, someone (male-sounding) shouted "Runaway kangaroo!" Another man shouted, "There's a kangaroo on the loose!" It sounded fairly close. [Kangaroo? They have a zoo on the grounds too?] Skyler started walking in that direction. [Time enough for plans later. Let's see the fun.] Passing through an arched corridor out of the courtyard, Skyler emerged into what looked like the athletic field. The bulk of the class buildings, all built out of white stone in that same psuedo-Greco-Roman style, lay to the south (assuming he was oriented right, while a large running track and a few multi-purpose sports fields stretched out to the north, towards what looked like the school walls and a very small forest beyond. Nearby--close to the edge of the fields--a crowd had gathered around what looked to be a newly-erected boxing ring of some sort. The crowd's outfits were...interesting. They all seemed to be a school uniform of some sort--the Japanese style, no less--but if that were the case, the school colors apparently were teal, teal and teal. Teal jackets, teal slacks, teal collars for the sailor blouses, teal miniskirts that would make a Sailor Senshi slightly uncomfortable. Only the white puffed-sleeve blouses and red tie-kerchiefs on the girls' uniforms broke up the sea of monochrome. Skyler hurried towards the crowd, craning his neck to see what was going on. The ring looked empty, so what...? Oh. That was it. Out on the field, there was a rather pretty blonde girl, probably about Skyler's apparent age, running for her life, a task made rather more difficult by the fact that she was carrying a younger boy--elementary school-aged--under one arm. And chasing them... By this point, Skyler wasn't really surprised to see a full-grown kangaroo hopping after them. The green boxing gloves were still a bit puzzling, though. "This is terrible!" he heard a girl with two brown ponytails, a little further ahead in the crowd, exclaim. "Nanami-sama's going to get killed! We've got to do something!" [This is bad.] Reasonable caution warred with conscience and impulsive chivalry in Skyler's head. He knew better than to mess with a full-grown kangaroo--Skyler had a healthy respect for animals, and anything as big and strong as a kangaroo could easily cripple a man. If he got in its way, the least he could expect to come away with would be extreme bruising. The trouble was, if he didn't, two other people would probably suffer far worse. And, to tell the truth, there was a small portion of his mind telling him, [Come on, this is an otakufic! It must be! So this is the part where you swoop in, save the girl, and end up the hero! You can do it!] which wasn't exactly helping his concentration. For a moment, Skyler felt extremely torn at best. "Touga-sama!" A girl's voice brought him out of his reverie. He turned just in time to see a tall young man with red hair jumping into the ring, over the ropes on the opposite side, and interposing himself in between the girl (Nanami?) and the kangaroo, tossing his white jacket away as he did so. He was pretty tall, though not much taller than Skyler, wearing only boxing trunks, red gloves, and sneakers. He didn't hesitate for a second--while the kangaroo was just starting to register the new obstacle and the girl and young boy were turning to look at the newcomer, he pulled back slightly, then delivered a crashing uppercut to the kangaroo's jaw, hard enough to knock the tooth guard out of its mouth and flying through the air. [A kangaroo with a mouth guard. Okay, now I've officially seen everything.] The animal wobbled a moment, then fell to the ground. For a moment there was silence. Then a great cheer, broken by the sound of a ringing bell signaling the end of a fight, rose up as seemingly everyone began shouting at once. The crowd surged forward almost as one to surround the young man and those he rescued. Skyler clapped too. One punch, very impressive. Silly, but impressive. "Oniisama!" The blonde girl, having somehow gotten her hands on a microphone for the field's PA system, was the only person Skyler could make out over the roar of the crowd. She was gazing starry-eyed at the red-headed man--her brother? Or was she the type that got off on calling boys she liked "Elder Brother"?--who said something to her in response, looking slightly amusedly smug as he accepted what looked like a championship belt from the younger boy. The girl then turned to the boy. "Tsuwabuki?" her voice rang out, "Let's go our separate ways." Skyler couldn't hear whatever the boy's response was. But a few moments later, the crowd parted to let the three--Touga, Nanami and Tsuwabuki, if he'd put the names together correctly--through, walking side by side towards the main campus, illuminated by the ruddy light of the sun just starting to set as Touga pulled on his white jacket... A jacket, Skyler suddenly realized, that bore no small resemblance to the one he was wearing himself. Touga glanced back over his shoulder towards the crowd, smiling to himself as he looked at someone behind Skyler. But for a moment, just for a moment, Skyler could swear their gazes met, and Touga's smile became a fraction of an inch wider... Skyler looked around. It seemed the show was over (someone had apparently taken the kangaroo back to its pen when he wasn't watching.) Only a few girls, one of them the one with the twin ponytails, were left, working on some kind of sound system. One piece looked like a reel-to- reel tape recorder. [Hmm, okay, that tells me a bit about the tech level here,] thought Skyler. The magazine pictures hadn't been too helpful in that regard. Over to the west, a blue-haired boy, a pink-haired girl (actual day-glo pink!) and a dark-haired girl with brown skin were almost around a corner. [Could that be...? Too far now.] He turned back towards the girls in the field, but shyness took over, and he decided to let them be. [Higashi-kan, then.] He was feeling rather tired for someone who'd been awake less than an hour. [Of course, I don't know how long I was asleep.] He wondered what the eating arrangements were. [Let's see, back this way, and east...] As he walked, Skyler began to think out loud again. "Okay, if I'm in an otakufic, and that seems the most logical assumption at this point, things will start happening soon, regardless of how much I try to avoid them. The trick will be figuring out how to respond. "After all, no one drags a guy across dimensions, de-ages and pretties him up, teaches him a foreign language and equips him (even if lavender is a ludicrous color) for nothing. Obviously, I'm meant to save someone, or fall in love, or something of that sort. If only I knew the plot! If this were Ranma 1/2, I'd know exactly what to do, depending on the point in the series. Here, I'm pretty much lost." Skyler passed a group of younger girls, smiling and nodding as he went past. [Love a lady in uniform...] Some of them looked at him interestedly and giggled slightly as they passed him, murmuring to each other excitedly. He could feel himself just barely starting to blush from the attention. It was definitely a different reaction than he was used to. As he passed out of Ohtori Academy through what was not so much a wall as a connected series of arches, Skyler saw the city spreading out below him, and a bright blue ocean beyond. Once past the small park-like band of forest surrounding the school, the world definitely looked modern--paved roads, the sound of auto traffic drifting up the large hill the academy topped, even an ever-so-faint haze of pollution--not terribly much though. The view reminded him of Monterey, but to the east rather than west. As he descended into the city streets, he found himself for all intents and purposes in a mostly-modern city--a fairly laid-back commercial and residential district, but a good-sized city all the same. "Of course, there are worse worlds to have ended up in, like Gundam," an image of a SD-Skyler being squashed by a mecha foot popped into his mind, "or Fist of the North Star." The SD-Skyler now had his head explode. "I don't think people actually die in the duels here..." [At least not yet,] he amended himself, remembering the mention of "tragedy." Well, if the map was to scale, he should be seeing East Hall right about...now. There it was--a large white house (was that Colonial style, or was that the one with all the pillars? Skyler couldn't quite remember), set back from the street a little by a nice, large lawn and a few trees. A low wall and unlatched gate surrounded the property. [Interesting lawn decorations,] Skyler thought as he passed what looked like a twelve-foot-tall replica of the Washington Monument set in a ring of engraved Zodiac symbols. The setting sun made the obelisk cast a shadow at about half-past Sagittarius. [Odd design for a sundial, but who am I to judge?] The dorm's foyer was large and elegant--two stories tall, with a balcony running around the perimeter and an odd light fixture--like a twenty-sided die with long pyramids on each facet, hanging from the ceiling. [Stellated icosohedron,] his brain's useless fact department informed him as it identified the shape. Skyler noticed a window set into one of the interior walls. [Oh, right, I think I saw one of these in...was it Koko wa Greenwood? Maybe. The hall administrator's office ought to be through there.] A peek through the window not only confirmed this, but established that it was almost certainly years since anyone had used it, judging by the dust buildup. [Okay, guess I'll have to show myself in.] It took him a few minutes to find his way to the right room, set in a side corridor on the second floor. His name was printed neatly in katakana on the plate with the room number, along with a blank space underneath--probably for a roommate, if he ended up getting one. [Okay, they've definitely gone all out to show they were expecting me. Obviously, *someone* wants me here--not that I didn't already know that, but supporting evidence is always nice. Well, here goes nothing.] He slid the key into the lock and opened the door. A rat cocked its head at him inquisitively from the center of the room. It wasn't a *complete* disaster area, he had to admit. Why, vacuum, dust a bit, replace the broken panes of glass in the window, get the bunk bed and desk repaired and refinished, sweep up the larger chunks of plaster, replaster the ceiling, and board up all the holes around the baseboard and you'd have a room that would still send brave men screaming in terror, but only barely. Heck, give it a year's work, and it might actually be livable. Maybe. "Guess the Ohtori Academy budget didn't run past my front door." Skyler swung the door experimentally, pleased to note it worked properly. He moved to the desk, wiped off the worst of the dust with the side of his hand, and set down his burdens. "Wonder if I have any other clothing in transit. Sure hope so." He didn't look forward to having only one set of underwear and socks, not to mention that white got dirty awfully easy. "Going to have to do some fixing up before I can sleep, but in that case I'm eating first." He stepped out the door and locked it behind him (old habits dying hard.) "Now, which way--" There was the sound of a door closing downstairs. [Another person! Maybe they can tell me where the mess hall is. At a guess, that's where everyone is.] He followed the sounds of movement down the stairs, around a corner, down a short hall...and in to the kitchen. It was nice enough, as kitchens go--fairly modern, fairly well- equipped, immaculately clean. He didn't see a microwave, but there was an oven, a gas stove, a refrigerator, a rice cooker on the counter, and a large sink. And a young girl, vaguely familiar-looking, opening one of the cabinets and turning to look back at the doorway. She was fairly short--coming up maybe to Skyler's chin--but very pretty, in an exotic sort of way. Her skin was a fairly dark brown, with an odd dot in the middle of her forehead, and her purple (actual dark, glossy *purple*!) hair was bound up into a sort of tight roll framing the back of her head. She was wearing the school uniform and a pair of wide, round glasses that did nothing to hide her shining, innocent green eyes. She smiled up at Skyler. "Oh! I'm sorry. I don't believe we've met," she said brightly. [Pretty girl. Major character. Don't fuck up.] Aloud, "Um, er..." Then he remembered Japanese protocol. He bowed, and said, "Hi! I'm Skyler Sands, and very pleased to meet you." The girl bowed back. "Hajimemashite. Atashi wa Himemiya Anthy desu. Douzo yoroshiku onegaiishimasu." Which was roughly the same thing as he'd said in reverse. [Anshii? No, Anthy. Who the heck picked that spelling?] For that matter, why had he? It was as if the romanization had popped into his head without paying much attention to the actual sound. "I'm new here in the dorm. Do we cook our own meals?" "Oh, of course not," she smiled as she took an apron down from a cabinet shelf. "It's just that until now it's just been me and Utena- sama here, and I cook for both of us--and Chuchu, of course. If Utena-sama says it's all right I'm sure you could eat with us too." "Utena-sama?" "My roommate." ["Utena-*sama*"? I'd gathered from the pictures they were pretty cozy, but "-sama"?] "Ah." He watched for a moment as she busied herself with the cooking--starting the rice, taking out a few vegetables, putting some water out to boil. "So...it's just the three of you in a dorm this size?" "Yes. The Student Council moved us both here. Before that, the building hadn't been used for ten years, I believe." [Exile?] "Really? Well, that'd explain the state of my room, at least." "What do you mean?" "Oh, just that it's sort of falling apart. You wouldn't happen to know where I could get any cleaning--" Before Skyler could finish, Anthy had rushed past him out of the room, a look of extreme concern on her face. She returned a few moments later, now looking quite upset, and began to cook at double speed. "I really must apologize, Sands-sempai. I was sure I'd cleaned that room. I'll only take a moment to finish dinner and then I'll be sure to fix it." Skyler blinked. "It's okay, really. You don't have to--" "But I do!" she insisted, mixing ingredients into a soup frantically but evenly. "It wouldn't do for you to stay in a room like that. In any case, Utena-sama prefers for the house to stay clean, and I don't want to disappoint her." She turned to Skyler and bowed apologetically. "I know it's an inconvenience, but could you watch to make sure nothing boils over? I'll be back quickly..." And with that, she was gone. "Uh, sure..." [Man, she's fast.] With the experience born of decades of cooking for himself, Skyler sat down to watch the food not go anywhere. "Lessee, from the pictures, Anthy, no, make that Himemiya-san, don't want to be impolite, is really important to the plotline. She's Utena's best buddy, maybe closer, and now I find out they're roommates. And she has some sort of special noncombatant role in the duels, referee, maybe? Or prize? "Bet I'll find out about the duels sooner than I want to. Oh, and she called me `sempai', even though she was here first, so she is either in a lower grade, or my height confused her. She's pretty, but if she's already in a relationship (especially *that* kind of relationship), it'd be a bad idea to poach. Better keep my eyes in my head." Time passed slowly, and Skyler thought of one other thing he should do. His head bowed in prayer. It felt good to talk to God, and collect his thoughts from a short but confusing day. He threw in a grace for the meal. "I'm sorry for the delay." Skyler opened his eyes to see Himemiya-san standing in the doorway, looking slightly sweaty and very exhausted, but smiling and serene. "Thank you for watching the food," she said tiredly. "Dinner should be ready in just a few minutes." It was a fine meal, if not entirely familiar to Skyler. The rice was good, and the soup and pork were done well even if he didn't quite know what the dishes were. The soup was probably some sort of miso he wasn't familiar with, and the pork could have been donburi, although prepared differently from the Japanese restaurants back home--but whatever the case, it was a testament to Himemiya-san's skills as a chef. The dining room wa also not quite what Skyler would have expected from a dorm, but he was getting used to that. The long, narrow tables were covered in spotless white tablecloths--Anthy's doing, no doubt. She really kept the place clean, he had to admit. "So," Skyler asked as Himemiya-san took her seat across the table from him, "will Utena, er, Utena-san be joining us?" "A little later," she replied. "She said she would be studying after school today with Wakaba-san and Miki-san. We have a test tomorrow." She looked out the glass patio doors at the clouds that had come rushing in with the last rays of sun. "I do hope she doesn't get caught in the rain--I don't believe she remembered her umbrella." She shook her head. "But for now, it will be just the three of us." "Oh, okay. I was just...three of us?" That was when Skyler became distinctly aware of a chewing sound coming from behind his soup bowl. It probably wasn't the *oddest* creature he'd seen--not in anime at least. He vaguely remembered seeing pictures of it in the anime magazines, but realistically that wasn't much preparation for seeing it in the flesh. It looked as if someone had taken the cutest features of the stereotypical cartoon monkey and cartoon mouse and then exaggerated them all out of proportion. The ears were huge and round (and one was pierced, he noted), while the eyes were mere round scribbles. Spots of red denoted the cheeks, and its mouth was an odd w-shaped line. It wore what looked like a tie, or the scarf from a girl's uniform. And it was looking at him while it chewed on several crackers at once. Its gaze met Skyler's. For a long moment, they simply stared at each other. Then, the creature spoke. "Chu." Skyler raised an eyebrow. "Weird" did not even begin to describe this...monkey? Anime pets were often very intelligent, so he'd have to watch his step. Especially since he didn't want to antagonize Himemiya-san. "Well, hello there." The creature backed away a hair. "Chu..." Was that a hostile "chu", or just a wary one? "And what's your name, little fella?" "Chu. Chu." "Chuchu?" "That's right," Anthy said. "He's your pet, I take it?" Well, either hers or Utena's. Chuchu moved between the two humans, protectively? Anthy shook her head and smiled. "He's my friend." "I'm Skyler Sands. Pleased to meetcha." Chuchu looked at Skyler warily, but extended a paw. "Chuu..." Skyler blinked. [Okay...] He extended a hand and was slightly nonplussed to find Chuchu shaking his finger. [I'm shaking hands with a semi-intelligent pet/friend/monkey-thing, and between the self-insertion and the boxing kangaroo, it's possibly one of the more normal things that's happened today. This has been quite a day...] Time passed. Himemiya-san was very quiet. Skyler decided he'd better try starting the ball. "I'm told I'll be doing some assistant work with the junior high classes." "Really? How nice." "So, what grade are you in?" "The same as Utena-sama. The second year of junior high." "You're in junior high? You're a very good cook for someone your age." "Thank you." Another long silence. Skyler tried again. "How many grades are there at the academy?" "It goes from elementary to university-level." She applied herself to the rice. Chuchu walked up to her, and got a bit for its trouble. "How do you like it here?" "It's fine." She seemed distracted. Perhaps Anthy just didn't care for conversation. Rain had started sometime during the meal, and was becoming quite strong, almost a storm. "Rainy tonight." "Yes." A phone rang in another room. Himemiya-san excused herself and went to answer it, leaving Skyler alone with Chuchu. "Don't suppose you'd care to open up a little? Like some of the donburi?" "Chu. Ch-chu." Apparently that was in answer to the first question, as the critter accepted the bit of meat. Anthy returned. "Was that Utena-san?" "Yes." "And?" "She did forget her umbrella, but since she was already at Wakaba-san's dormitory, she'll be spending the night there. I'm sorry you won't get to meet her..." "Oh, no problem, really." ["My Dinner With Anthy" is not going to be a major box-office hit, I can tell,] thought Skyler. They finished their meal together, though Skyler had to hold back to achieve this, and he offered to help wash up. "The least I can do to help." Anthy smiled. She did that a lot. It looked good on her. "Domo, domo," she replied cheerfully. Despite his best efforts, Skyler found himself barely able to keep up with Himemiya-san, and she did the lion's share of the dishes. The small talk was also...well, polite, but mostly unenlightening. "Is this Wakaba-san a friend of yours?" "I don't really know her too well. She's Utena-sama's best friend, though. They lived together last semester, before Utena-sama had to move here. They're such close friends." "I...see." [Is Utena...you know? Or have I just been reading too much Chris Davies?] They walked together back to the second floor. It seemed Utena and Anthy's room was right down the hall from Skyler's--21 to his 23. "You sure there's nothing more I can help with?" "No, nothing really. I have to get to sleep soon--I have to wake up early to prepare Utena-sama's lunch and get ready for school." "Okay. Say, will you please knock on my door when it's time to get up tomorrow? I think I still have some jet lag." "Yes." "Oh, and thank you for all your help." "It was nothing." They walked to their rooms. Skyler inserted his key, turned it, and opened the door-- The question foremost in Skyler's mind was where Anthy had gotten her hands on a crew of carpenters, plasterers, and glaziers this late at night. After all, she hadn't been gone for more than fifteen or twenty minutes at the absolute outside. There was no way a single person could have rebuilt the desk and beds, repaired the cracks in the ceiling, replaced the broken window panes, and still cleaned everything to the point where he could see his face in the hardwood floor. Well, okay, maybe she could. This was an anime, after all. Still, the contrast was a bit overwhelming. Even his crossbow had been carefully polished and cleaned, and each individual bolt had been buffed until it shone. "Wow. Wonder if she does dojos?" Then a small paranoid thought entered his mind. "Wait a minute. I locked the door when I left...and I had to use the key to get in now...so how'd Anthy get in? Shades of Jim Rockford. Note to self: Do *not* leave secret journal in room." He shut the door, and stripped down to his shorts. "Better leave them on. Never know when something will happen in the middle of the night." He folded his uniform neatly and laid it on the desk. "Guess that `student guide' got delayed by the storm. Wonder who it is?" Skyler laid down. "This has been one strange...zzz..." He didn't dream that night...at least, not that he could remember. A few fragments of images from real life--memories of friends and family--danced across his brain before fading into oblivion. He awoke to the sound of a gentle but persistent tapping. For a moment he stared up at the ceiling. Then the events of yesterday came back rushing all at once. He gasped briefly, then realized he'd better answer the knocking. "Be right with you!" Skyler shouted. Apparently, he'd had enough sleep to get rested. He rolled out of the top bunk, enjoying the sensation of landing lightly on his feet. He hadn't done that in years! Still no other clothes, but the uniform still looked clean...and pressed. Weird. Skyler pulled on the trousers and shirt. He walked over and opened the door. "Good morning!" Anthy was cheerful as always. Definitely a morning person. "Did you sleep well?" "Ohayou! I slept fine, thanks. I appreciate your waking me. And you?" "Oh, fine. Breakfast is ready downstairs if you want it. Oh, and I left a towel and some soap and shampoo in your closet in case you need them. The boys' bathroom is just down the hall." She bowed slightly. "I've got to finish Utena-sama's bentou now. Call me if you need anything." Skyler found the bath supplies, and quickly determined where the boys' bathroom was. He luxuriated in a nice hot shower, with no interruptions. "Well, of course, no other men in the building. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts." As he toweled off, Skyler admired himself in the mirror. "Not bad at all..." Then he noticed a small detail that had escaped him in the dim reflection he'd studied yesterday. "I don't have any *pupils*?! How do I *see*? Wait, if I remember my `Alien Biology' essays, it'd just filter out light of the same color. No, then I'd see my eyes as entirely black. Weird." He looked a bit closer. "No, wait, there they are. Just a slightly darker blue than the irises. Still weird." After finishing dressing (creases in the jacket as if it'd been freshly pressed, and he didn't remember Anthy going near it...) Skyler went down to breakfast. It was as sumptuous as the supper the night before, a mixture of Japanese and Western cuisine, including rice, toast, orange juice, tea, some sort of soup, eggs and a variety of other stuff. Far too much for two people and a monkey-thing, though Chuchu was doing its level best to demolish its meal. Anthy appeared to have already eaten. [I guess Utena must be one of those "bottomless pit" types.] Skyler had a prodigious appetite (for a normal person), but he'd soon had his fill. "My compliments to the chef." "Thank you," said Himemiya-san in her pleasant but inscrutable tone. [I'll have to cook something nice for her sometime. Wonder if rhubarb is in season?] thought Skyler as Anthy cleared the table. Once again, he barely managed to help with the dishes. "Do you mind if I walk with you to the school?" "No, I don't mind. Everything is ready." She gathered up a book bag and two bentou boxes, and they left. The morning air smelled fresh after the rain, and Skyler began humming "Carolina in the Morning". Today should be fun. The city looked clean and even a bit beautiful after the rain, with droplets of water still running off the trees and buildings gleaming with the water trickling down them. The school and the large hill it topped dominated the landscape--the central tower of the main building rose perhaps a full ten stories above the school, maybe even more, making it the highest landmark visible, perhaps even the highest part of the city. More students started filtering in from the surrounding streets as the school grew closer, in twos and threes most likely making their way from other dorms in the area. More than a few, he realized, were looking surprisedly at him and Anthy, and staring a bit (until they realized he noticed) or talking excitedly among themselves. [Must be because I'm new, and probably obviously a foreigner. New kids always get this kind of treatment.] "It's a beautiful morning, isn't it?" he prompted Anthy. "Yes, it is." There was a long silence. "I'm originally from Gunntown, Minnesota. It's a small town up near the Canadian border. And yourself?" "I've always lived around here," she replied. Another long pause. "What are the winters like?" "They're nice." Pause. "At home it got down to fifty below Fahrenheit, not sure what that is in Celcius..." Himemiya-san didn't take the bait. [Okay, not a science enthusiast...] "Do I talk too much?" he asked as they got to the school walls. There was no response. Skyler glanced over his shoulder towards Anthy...only she wasn't there. He blinked. He was doing a lot of that lately. [That's odd...I don't think I said anything to scare her off. Where could she...?] There. Three girls were standing around Himemiya-san, keeping her back to one of the pillars of the wall of arches surrounding the school. The central one he recognized--it was the girl with the two ponytails he'd seen at the kangaroo incident the day before. After a moment he placed the other two as the girls who'd been with her cleaning up the recording equipment yesterday. "You've caused a lot of trouble, do you know that?" the girl with the ponytails said indignantly. "I'm sorry..." Anthy said quietly, looking at the ground in humility and shame. "Sorry? Sorry? You think saying you're sorry can make up for nearly getting Touga-sama killed? For making his sister miserable?" The girl glared at Anthy for a moment, and then... *SLAP* Anthy fell to the ground, clutching her cheek. The three girls looked down on her with vicious satisfaction. Bile rose in Skyler's throat. This kind of scene was all too familiar to him, though he'd usually played the victim's role. He choked back his first impulse. [I will *not* hit a girl. I will *not*.] "She *said* that she was sorry. Violence was uncalled for," he said, in as level a voice as he could manage. "Who--?" replied the pony-tailed girl. "Skyler Gregory Sands, at your service." He made a slight bow. "It seems to me that Touga-sempai had matters well in hand yesterday. I don't think he'd like hearing that you have so little faith in his abilities." The girls smirked as they all turned to face him. "Well, `Sukairaa Guregorii Sanzu'," the pony-tailed girl replied, stressing the name mockingly, "it seems to *me* that you'd do better to stay out of things that don't concern you." She looked at his face critically. "I haven't seen you around here before. You don't even have any idea who you're dealing with, do you?" "I'm just dying to be enlightened," he growled. The girl rested one hand on her hip arrogantly. "Sonoda Keiko." "Wakiya Aiko," the tallest one, with long black hair that curled outwards at the end, added as she folded her arms. "Oose Yuuko." This one's auburn hair reminded him a little of Nabiki's, only with more body and curving in a bit more. "Together," Keiko went on, "we are the darlings of the junior high and high school social scenes, the face of terror to those who oppose us, the undisputed masters of all we survey..." [Must...restrain...urge to giggle...Guess they have Sailor Moon cartoons in this reality too.] "Really?" The three girls froze with terror at the deceptively mild- sounding voice. Their heads slowly swiveled around, as if afraid of what they might see. Nanami's violet gaze met theirs coolly and impassively. "Why, pray tell, was I never informed of this?" she continued in the sort of quiet, restrainedly pleasant tone that strongly implies that you *don't* want to see the speaker grow unpleasant. "N-n-nanami-sama!" Keiko stammered. "I-I'm so sorry! We didn't mean...!" "I'm sure you didn't," Nanami replied evenly. "Be *glad* I'm sure. Now, don't you three have to get to class now?" The girls barely needed prompting. They were racing off in equal parts terror and relief almost before she'd finished the sentence. Skyler watched them go for a moment, then turned back to Anthy. Nanami was already crouching beside her, helping gather her bentous and the books. "I'm *so* sorry about that," Nanami said apologetically, though with a bright smile. "You aren't hurt, are you?" "No, I'm fine," Anthy replied with a soft smile as Nanami helped her to her feet. Skyler bowed again. "Thank you for defusing that...scene. I'm Skyler Sands, a transfer student." Nanami made sure that Anthy was able to stand on her own, then returned the bow. "I'm Kiryuu Nanami, Junior High First Year. Pleased to meet you!" She was quite cute, Skyler noted as he really looked at her for the first time, with a brilliant smile and a curious hairstyle-- a braid wrapped around the top of her head like a headband, lightly restraining her long blonde locks. "Nanami...I think I know that one, it means `Seven Beauties', right?" He traced the kanji in the air with his finger. [Thank you, El Hazard.] She smiled fetchingly, with just a hint of a blush. "Yes, it does. You seem to know your kanji quite well, Sands-sempai." He felt a bit of a burn in his own cheeks. "The s-simple ones, anyway. "And that would make your brother Kiryuu Touga, yes?" He was rewarded with a nod. "A very impressive fellow, from what I saw yesterday. I'm not surprised he has a fan club. A little too enthusiastic, though." Nanami nodded, the smile slipping slightly. "Yes, indeed. I have to apologize for their behavior...they really should know better by now." "Are they always like that?" Nanami sighed wistfully. "They're really very nice girls underneath--it's just that they seem to have this strange urge to prove themselves by picking on the weak from time to time. And Himemiya-sempai is such a sweet person, she wouldn't even hurt a fly, much less try to stand up for herself..." She shook her head sadly, then glanced up towards the school suddenly. "Oh, we'd better get moving if we want to get to class," Nanami reminded. They started towards the main building, and Skyler realized Anthy hadn't said anything in quite a long time. In fact, as soon as she'd gotten up and gotten her belongings in order, she'd started towards the school again as if nothing had happened "I didn't mean to ignore you, Himemiya-san." "It's quite all right," the dark-skinned girl assured. "I expect I'll be meeting quite a number of new people today. My old school was very small." "Really? How nice." She continued walking at a brisk but relaxed pace, leaving Skyler and Nanami just slightly behind. Nanami shook her head sadly. "Poor Himemiya-sempai..." she said quietly to Skyler. "She has to deal with this far too often. She never has even a harsh word for anyone, and so many people repay her with cruelty..." "That's...unfortunate." [Could explain why she comes off as... distant.] They walked into the central building on campus, the base of the tower, and into a huge vaulted room, at least three stories tall, with rooms and balconies lining the side and a floor inlaid with a rose design. The clamor of the crowd of students echoed off the ceiling, mixing with the sounds of a public address system squawking out utterly unintelligible messages. The students were generally filing towards the back of the room, where rows of lockers and shoe cubbyholes were set up. "So," Nanami asked, voice calmly cutting through the background noise, "how exactly did you meet Himemiya-sempai?" "I'm rooming in the same building, Higashi-kan. She was kind enough to let me share her supper last night." He looked over the cubbyholes and saw that they were labeled in kana order. Sure enough, one had "Sands" written in katakana, and inside was a pair of slippers in his size. "So, you've met her roommate, Tenjou Utena?" Nanami asked as they both donned the school footwear. "Um, no, she was out last night." "I'm surprised Utena-sempai left her alone--" she cut off as Skyler headed for the lockers. He found the locker marked with his name, opened it, and found a bookbag inside, filled with several texts. Skyler took it out and glanced around for the lock. He found nothing, and realized that none of the other lockers seemed to have one either. [Trusting place, this Ohtori. Then again, I guess Japan has a bit less crime than most American high schools. Can't keep secret journal here either.] [If I remember correctly, all the students stay in the classroom, and the teachers rotate.] Nanami rejoined him as they exited the back way, walking towards the building his map had indicated held his classroom. Anthy was already a few yards ahead, waling sedately. "It's just that Himemiya-sempai is so *devoted* to Tenjou-sempai --you must have noticed that, right? And Tenjou-sempai takes full advantage of that. She has Himemiya-sempai do all the cooking and cleaning, even when her own studies suffer...why, it's gotten so that Himemiya-sempai won't do a thing without getting her `Utena-sama's' permission first. And how is she repaid? Why..." She trailed off slightly, blushing, as she glanced sidelong at the flow of nearby students. "Well, I really shouldn't say--" "You're probably correct, you shouldn't say," said Skyler, feeling nervous about the turn this conversation was taking. "So, do you have a favorite class?" Meanwhile, in his head, [Anthy seems happy enough with the arrangement, and with her apparent speed, her studies probably don't suffer too much. Besides, Utena's the star of the show, so she can't be a complete monster. On the other hand, she *might* be exploiting Anthy's talents a bit much...or Nanami might be the "out" leg of a triangle. If I'm living next door to them, I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually.] Nanami shrugged. Did she look a little more relaxed now that she was off that topic, or was it just Skyler's imagination? "Oh, I don't really have a favorite, I suppose. Art is nice enough, but the schoolwork for all the other subjects can get so tedious now and then..." She looked curiously at Skyler. "How about you?" "Creative Writing. I don't suppose they'd give me a `bye' on English?" Nanami giggled. "I'm sure I wouldn't know. Oh, but I'm sure it won't be any difficulty for someone like you. You know all those ugly tenses and irregular verbs already..." "That I do..." [Though the last time I needed to know the grammar terms was over a decade ago.] Skyler tried to remember exactly what "future perfect" meant. Nanami looked over at him with a curious gaze as they walked into one of the buildings and up the stairs. "Incidentally, if you don't mind my asking...where did you get such an interesting uniform?" Skyler started. He didn't know himself! How to phrase this...? Ah. "It was a gift. The rest of my luggage seems to be lost in transit, so this is what I'm wearing." [A gift with some serious strings attached...] Nanami nodded thoughtfully. "I see..." she murmured as a slow contemplative smile crept across her face. The second floor hallway had windows on to the central courtyard, where Skyler could see the greenhouse. That started a memory, and he hummed a little. "What's that tune?" asked Nanami. "I don't recognize it." "It's an American song from a while ago, Kiryuu-san. o/~A rose grows out in the garden, its beauty cuts just like a knife; They say it even grows in the wintertime, and blooms in the dead of night~\o " Nanami smiled, with just a hint of mischief in her face. "Why, thank you." [She thought that was a compliment? Better hope she doesn't ask me to tell her the rest of the lyrics. And I now know I'm not in a Richard Lawson fic, or I'd have been spouting a sonnet.] Skyler paused as they came to what he realized had to be his room. [Kou-1-A. If I remember right, that's high school, first year, class A--just like the letter said. Looks like I've found my class...] "This is the place. See you later, Kiryuu-san?" Nanami smiled. "It's been so wonderful meeting you, Sands- sempai. I hope everything goes well for you. It's going to be so nice having someone new around--and I'm sure Himemiya-sempai is grateful someone is able to stand up to bullies like those three or Tenj--" She cut off suddenly, then laughed self-consciously. "Oh, but I shouldn't spread gossip. Just ignore me--I'm so sorry." She turned to walk off, flashing him another smile. "Good luck, Sands-sempai!" She certainly seemed less than happy with Utena. Well, time enough to sort that out later. Fortunately, Skyler was still a few minutes early for class. The teacher, Kyoto-sensei, was a short, slightly plump, bespectacled man. "Oh, yes, Sands-kun. Yes, I was told you were supposed to be arriving today. Well, welcome to Ohtori Academy." He shuffled through the papers on his desk a moment. "I was told Arisugawa-kun would be acting as your guide while you got your bearings. She's a member of the Student Council, and one of my top students, so she'll probably be able to help with anything you need. I think I can assign you a seat next to her..." Skyler followed the teacher's gaze. Seated by the window, reading a thick book with a cover faded by age... ...was, he realized, one of the more stunning young women he had seen in recent memory,even taking into account the anime beauty of nearly everyone he'd seen here. It wasn't just her looks--she was attractive, with a slim figure and orange hair done in meticulously-coiled ringlets, but not remarkably more so than many of the other women in this anime world. But even seated quietly, there was something in her bearing...an ineffable sense of quiet self-confidence and nobility was the closest he could come to putting it into words, though it wasn't quite right. Too strong, maybe... She glanced up from her book for a moment, meeting his gaze with her cool blue-green eyes, and making Skyler realize he'd been starting to stare. He shied away from her gaze for a moment, and it was only then that he realized she was wearing almost the same uniform as him. There were a few differences--the pants and trim were orange, the epaulets and cord were different--but they were clearly minor variations on the same design. She looked him over for a moment dispassionately, as if getting his measure, then returned to her reading unconcernedly. He returned his attention to the teacher. "Thank you, Kyoto- sensei. I'm sorry, but they didn't give me a schedule. Which class is up first?" Kyoto-sensei glanced at his papers. "Well, we start the day with...I think you'd call it `homeroom' in America, am I right? We go over news for the day, sometimes review tests from other classes or take basic pop quizzes, and so forth. After that is Mathematics, then History, then English. After lunch is Japanese and Literature, then Physics and finally Gym. Well, it's Gym today--it alternates between Gym and Art." He looked out at the rapidly filling classroom. "It seems like it's about time for class to begin...Why don't we wait till everyone's settled in, then you can introduce yourself and take your seat." Skyler wrote his name in script first, then in katakana. Then he bowed to the class. "I'm Skyler Sands, and I'm very glad to be here." The class looked on in what seemed to be curiosity and amusement--Skyler noticed a few whispers between students in the back rows, which were quickly silenced when Kyoto-sensei glared at the offenders. Just about the only person who didn't seem interested in one way or another was Arisugawa-kun, who had simply bookmarked her place, looked at the name on the board with barely a flicker of attention, and then turned to gaze distractedly out the window, writing briefly in her notebook from time to time without even looking down at it. The class itself wasn't very interesting, as Kyoto-sensei droned through a series of announcements about upcoming exams and club meetings. Most of it was meaningless to Skyler at this point. The orange-haired girl seemed not to pay much attention either. Eventually, the bell chimed, and Kyoto-sensei left for his next class. Some of the students got up to talk to each other, as it seemed there would be some time before the next teacher arrived. Skyler turned to the young woman at the next desk. "Hi. Arisugawa-san, was it? Do you like old books?" She turned her head towards him at this, arching an eyebrow curiously. "Do you always begin your conversations this way?" "No, usually I'm even lamer, but I saw you reading an interesting looking volume earlier," he replied. She nodded slightly as she removed the book from her desk. His eyes fell on the title.--"A Critique of Pure Reason", by Emmanuel Kant. "It depends more on the subject matter than the age. I prefer to read thought-provoking works." "Ah. I'm embarrassed to admit I haven't actually read that book yet." [Quite possibly smarter than I am...] She shrugged. "It's not what most would call recreational reading. There's hardly a need to be embarrassed for not having a deep interest in philosophy." [Whew.] "Actually, for the last little while I've been struggling through manga to help me learn Japanese." [True enough, no need to tell her I seem to have received a brain implant.] "Oh, really?" She looked at him with a curious, if slightly unnerving interest, as if he were some sort of puzzle to be solved. "You certainly seem to be unusually fluent despite that. There are people who have been studying the language for decades with more of an accent than you. My commendations." "Uh, thanks. "I understand from Kyoto-sensei that you're my student guide?" "So it would seem. You seem to have attracted the attention of someone influential in high places--the Student Council is rarely called on for something as mundane as this. One has to wonder what makes you so notable, don't you think?" Her tone and eyes remained flat and cool for this, giving the distinct impression she knew perfectly well why, and that she knew Skyler did, too. "You're on the Student Council?" Skyler dissembled, since he himself wasn't entirely clear on who'd arranged the "special treatment" or why. Her gaze turned slightly more curious, and a touch more skeptical. "Yes. I seem to recall overhearing Kyoto-sensei mentioning that to you earlier." She turned back to her desk, turning the page in her notebook idly. "So. Where precisely in America are you from, if I may ask?" [D'oh! Well, can't remember everything.] "Gunntown, Minnesota. It's a small town up towards the Canadian border." He sketched a rough rectangle in the air, then pointed towards the middle upper edge. "Not on most large-scale maps. Mostly little farms, and a federal prison is the main job provider since the quarry shut down. More recently, I've been in Minneapolis, which is the largest city in the state." She nodded. "The Twin Cities, Minneapolis and Saint Paul. I know of them. Why did you choose to come to Ohtori, then...aside from the obvious? Certainly there are more well-known cities in Japan amenable to foreign exchange students, and I seem to recall that the Twin Cities have sister cities here that would be overjoyed to have you," she observed as she idly wrote in her notebook. "You *are* well-read...actually, it seems more like Ohtori Academy picked me. There were a couple of locations I was more familiar with by reputation, but apparently they already had enough exchange students. I had only heard of Ohtori as a word on paper before they accepted my application, and after that it felt like I was just given a crash course in advanced Japanese, issued this uniform, and dumped here." Skyler paused. "I can't even remember clearly what part of Japan we're in. It was that much of a rush. Someone wanted me here in a big hurry, and I can't really say why." Arisugawa-san nodded slowly, as if fitting the pieces of a mental picture together. "If it's of any help, Ohtori Prefecture is in northern Honshu, on the Pacific coast." She flipped her notebook closed, revealing her name on the cover, written with kanji he actually had to pause a moment to identify. [Let's see... "to have", an archaic form of "reside" and "river" ..that's Ari-su-gawa, right...then "standing tree" and...that means a sort of blue crystal, yes? Ju-rii? Arisugawa Juri, then... ["Julie", perhaps? "Jury" sounds a bit ominous...and I can even read archaic kanji, neat!] The class was beginning to settle down again, and a new teacher had entered and began spreading his books out on the desk up front. "In any case," Juri continued, "you doubtless have a rather memorable term ahead of you here." "I'll bet." Seeing her notebook reminded Skyler, and he dug through his bookbag for the math textbook, and maybe a notebook and pencil? Yes, there were several slim composition books with a name space on the cover just above the Ohtori rose insignia, as well as some sharpened pencils, also marked with roses where the manufacturer's name would ordinarily go. [Way too much with the roses already. I'm going to have to invest in some daisies.] "What chapter are we on?" "The eighth. Simple formulae for the areas and volumes of two- and three-dimensional solids; nothing unduly difficult." The class was standard-issue high-school geometry. Skyler was way out of practice, so he tried to listen carefully. Some of it, at least, sounded familiar. Juri didn't seem too interested in this class either, but when asked to find the volume of a cone, did it correctly and efficiently, without looking up. Thankfully, Skyler was not called upon. He didn't talk during the next break, choosing to review the opening chapters of the history book. Skyler didn't find any glaring inconsistencies with the timeline he knew, but he really wasn't up on the details of Japanese history. Kyoto-sensei was back for this class, and everyone settled in for a lecture on the end of the Warring States period and the beginnings of the Tokugawa era. Nobunaga, Hideyoshi, Tokugawa... The names and dates flowed past in a haze. Sadly, the teacher's speech really didn't convey the excitement of the subject, and Skyler was forced to imagine the events as if presented in anime form to keep his interest up. Next up was English. [This, at least, ought to be a snap,] Skyler thought as he cracked open his textbook and began paging through it. It looked fairly dry, consisting largely of grammar and vocabulary lists interspersed with essays. He glanced over at Juri's textbook and flipped to the same page, then started to read... *Tried* to start to read. He came to a grinding halt in a matter of moments. [What the heck? Did I grab the wrong book or something? I can't understand a word of this.] It was obviously in romaji, and obviously some sort of European language, but beyond that it was gibberish. He couldn't drain a single drop of meaning from it. Then a word halfway down the page caught his eye. F-o-o-l. Fool. Somehow, he knew that word. And a few lines down, another one-- c-u-t-e. [Oh. My. God. Okay, don't panic,] thought Skyler. [Just think in English. "The tough coughs as he ploughs the dough..."] He hesitated. [But was that "cows as he ploffs" or the other way around... oh no. I can't even remember that?!] He looked down at the page again. Still gibberish. "A", "the", "of", a couple of other simple words, but the rest eluded him. It was much the same effect he normally got from a page full of...Japanese. [This is bad. Very, very bad. "When Self-Insertion Fics Go Wrong" bad. I don't even have a dictionary to work with! Wait a minute...I was able to sing that song in English earlier, or it wouldn't have scanned, right?] He wondered if he was developing a giant sweatdrop. He stretched his memory backwards. He'd been humming the song, right, and then he'd sung Nanami the lyrics...which she'd understood perfectly. [Gah. Don't tell me I translated it unconsciously or something...it just seemed to come out so naturally...] But he'd been taking notes! Skyler opened his composition book...and stared in horror at the neat vertical lines of kanji and kana. Skyler began to chuckle nervously, then noticed Juri looking at him with that mildly curious stare of hers. [Please let this come out in English...] {Nod if I'm talking in English.} Juri looked...bemused. She replied, quite obviously in English, with a slight nod. Skyler managed to catch scattered words--"Your", "is", "but", "I", "you"--with a number of words he couldn't catch in between. She watched his face for a moment, looking for signs of comprehension and obviously finding none. "I see," she murmured, turning back to her textbook. "There's a pronunciation guide on page 53. I recommend you review it quickly before the lesson starts." Alas, it was too late, as the door opened right then. The English teacher--a thin, sour-looking woman with her hair in a bun and glasses that instantly reminded Skyler of the "Far Side" cartoons, set her books on the desk and peered out over the class, which quieted instantly. She smiled as she saw Skyler. "If I might have all of your attention, today we'll be beginning out new essay. While I'm sure you've all prepared your sections quite well, it would seem we have a new student today--a transfer student from America, in fact." She smiled thinly. "Sands-kun, would you please turn to page 72 and read the introduction to the essay there? I know you haven't had time to prepare, but I'm sure it should be simple for a native speaker of English, and the rest of the class could certainly use the example of good pronunciation you could set." She glared as her gaze swept across the room, causing students to blush or turn away in embarrassment wherever she looked. [I don't suppose we could have an earthquake or something right now? Fake a heart attack? Oh well, if I can pronounce Japanese without knowing what it means from the furigana, I can *probably* bluff my way through this...] Skyler stood, book in hand, and did a quick skim of the lines. Still not particularly comprehensible...but there was no help for it now. In what he hoped was a clear, firm voice, he began reading what looked like the introduction. It felt like the longest paragraph in the world, though it couldn't have been more than five or six lines. [Okay, I think this next word is the verb, so I'll put a little more stress there, and then...is that the hard vowel or the soft one? I think that's a silent "e", but which way does it modify the sound? I am *so* dead...] He finally trailed to a halt. The class was silent. The teacher was looking at him intently. Juri's gaze seemed almost amused. Finally, the teacher spoke. "That's an...interesting accent, Sands-kun." He nodded, perhaps just a little too hard. "Well then, in any case. Let's move on to the day's lesson. Akita-kun, if you would care to read..." Skyler sank gratefully into his desk. All conscious thought left him until the chime signaling the end of class. "Did you bring a bentou?" asked Juri as she replaced her books in her desk. "No, actually...I didn't think of it," Skyler replied. Is there a cafeteria around here or anything?" "Of course." She stood. "Let's go." Following the flow of the crowd of students breaking for lunch, Juri and Skyler went downstairs, crossed over to the main building, and ascended to the second floor there before parting from the main body of the crowd in favor of a quieter corridor. Juri then turned to face him, leaning against a window sill with her arms crossed, and regarded Skyler with that penetrating gaze again. "So. Who are you, *really*?" To be continued.... GLOSSARY Anime: Japanese animation. Bentou: A boxed lunch. Captain Harlock: Anime character noted for large facial scar/birthmark (depending on which continuity you're watching.) Chris Davies: Fanfic writer noted for lesbian themes. Chuuka Ichiban: Anime from roughly the same period as Utena. Dojo: Training hall, most often for the martial arts. El Hazard: An anime that features a character named Nanami (the kanji to write the name are fairly simple.) Facefaulting: Falling over in surprise, usually highly exaggerated for effect. Fist of the North Star: Older manga/anime. The hero had the ability to make people's heads explode. Furigana: Phonetic kana printed next to kanji to show the pronounciation. Often found in children's manga. Gundam: Series of anime series about mecha battles. Very angsty. Hiragana: Phonetic syllable representations, mostly reserved for native Japanese words. Jim Rockford: Hero of the US live action series "The Rockford Files." Noted for coming home to find attackers waiting in his trailer, despite the lock being undisturbed. Kana: Phonetic syllable representation for Japanese. Comes in katakana and hiragana. Kanji: Ideograms representing words and ideas in Japanese, most borrowed from the Chinese. Katakana: Phonetic syllable representation, usually used for non-Japanese words. Koko wa Greenwood: Manga/anime series set in a school dormitory. -Kun: Honorific, slightly less formal than -san. Used here by teacher to pupil. Ma Vie et Roses: "My Life with Roses", more or less. Manga: Japanese comic books. Mecha: Machines, usually understood to be giant robots. Nadesico: Anime from roughly the same time period as Utena. Ohayou: "Good morning." Oniisama: "Elder Brother". Very respectful term of address. Otaku: Drooling fanboy, understood in the US to be an anime buff. Much more insulting if used by Japanese. Otakufic: Anime fan fiction in which the writer (or a thinly disguised version thereof) visits the anime world. Ranma 1/2: A wildly popular manga/anime series about a cursed martial artist. The majority of otakufics are set here. Rekka no Honou: An anime from roughly the same time period as Utena. Richard Lawson: A fanfic writer known for his use of Shakespeare. Romaji: Writing the Japanese language with the Roman alphabet. Rose of Versailles: Older manga/anime series set just before the French Revolution. Sailor Moon: Manga/anime series about teenage girls who fight evil with superpowers. The main character is known for making silly speeches when confronting a foe. -Sama: Elevating honorific, usually used by social inferiors to their "betters." -San: Honorific, and functions as a default. Roughly equivalent to "Mr." or "Ms." SD: Super Deformed. A smaller, cuter version of the character. Usually used in gag sequences. Self-insert fic: As otakufic, above, but for fan fiction in general. -Sempai: Honorific for one who is senior to you in a group, such as one in a higher grade at school. Sometimes translated "Upperclassman." May be used alone as a title. -Sensei: Honorific for one in a learned profession, such as a teacher or doctor. May be used alone as a title. Senshi: Warrior. The "Sailor Senshi" are the heroes of Sailor Moon, and wear miniskirts in costume. Shoujo Kakumei Utena: Literally "Girl Revolution Utena" (yes, it sounds just as odd in Japanese). The title of the anime/manga series Skyler is visiting. Virus: An anime series from roughly the same time period as Utena. "When Self-Insertion Fics Go Wrong": by Alpha Centauri, a parody of otakufics. One of the writers has a guest appearance. AUTHORS' NOTES: I first got the idea for this story almost a year ago. I was in Japan, studying at Sophia University's summer session and enjoying the luxury of seeing anime on prime time TV when I stumbled across this fascinating little show called Shoujo Kakumei Utena. It had beautiful art an animation, romance, comedy, mysticism, symbolism, characterization that hooked me immediately, and people slashing at each other with swords. What more could one ask for? I quickly became an addict of the series. At the same time, I was thinking about fan fiction. At the time, I'd never written much (a story about Kodachi and Konatsu, made in response to a challenge, and an incomplete Kodachi introspection story I'd never gotten the energy to finish), but I'd been an avid reader for quite some time. At times, though, it seemed like the anime fan fiction world was getting a little stagnant -- while there were many good stories out there, they were being lost in a flood of stories that looked very similar at first glance -- Ranma 1/2 and Sailor Moon stories (with other occasional surges, like Tenchi Muyo or Evangelion), which might be very good individually but had nothing to stand out from the crowd. I began to contemplate writing an Utena story, but realized that very few people in America would know about a show still in progress on Japanese TV. By a tangent, I got to thinking about self-insertion fan fiction, and the two things that make most of their protagonists so obnoxious: omnipotence and omniscience. The characters were not only able to do anything they set their mind to, but they knew how to interact perfectly with the main cast so as to resolve all their problems neatly and elegantly. Occasionally, the writer would wipe his avatar's knowledge of the series, but even then, the avatar tends to get extremely perceptive, enough so that he can be effectively omniscient when it fits the plot. What if, I thought, someone were to be dropped into an anime world he knew nothing about? Would he fumble around and make matters worse than they were when he started? Would he be duped by the deceptive characters, or misjudge the deep ones? How would he react to the novelty of the situation? It was an interesting thought, but it would seem to require at least two authors -- one who knew the source material, and one who did not, who would supply the otaku avatar's personality and decisions. I let the idea germinate in my mind for a while, then casually mentioned it on the FFML, where Scott Jamison noticed it and responded with interest. And now, after countless delays (on my part), here's the first part of the result. All I can hope is that it's lived up to my expectations. -- Scott K. Johnson zagyg@io.com Mr. Johnson has said most of the important parts. It's been... interesting running Skyler through his paces and trying to figure out who's who and what they're up to. It does make for a slightly more realistic story, don't you think? We'd also like to thank our prereaders, who know who they are. C&C, MSTs and other fun stuff welcomed! SKJAM! Scott K. Jamison majks@cyberx.com