QUESTIONABLE
by Scott K. Jamison
(Note: Ranma 1/2 and its associated characters created by Rumiko
Takahashi, and no infringement is intended.)
Ukyou whistled as she worked. Mendlessohn's Midsummer's Night Dream,
a tune all of her customers were familiar with by now. The regulars
knew her habits well, and if anyone didn't like them, well, he didn't
become a regular. But most people considered a few eccentricities worth
it to eat the best okonomiyaki in town, maybe in all of Japan.
Ukyou herself insisted it was the best in the world, and no one
argued with her on that. While Ms. Kuonji's temper was nowhere near as
violent as the notorious Akane Tendou's, she could still put a serious
hurt on anyone who dared to suggest her cooking was sub-par.
The noren curtain parted as a slim figure in baggy Chinese
clothing entered. Ukyou recognized the visitor immediately.
"Ran-chan!" Her hands fashioned a "Ranma Special" without her
conscious knowledge, by now a conditioned reflex.
The other customers made room at the counter, for they knew that
despite appearances, that was a man in the red and black clothes, a man
who'd captured the fair chef's heart.
"Hiya Ucchan." He sounded very subdued today, and his posture
was almost...timid. Ukyou looked in Ranma's face, but his eyes did not
meet hers. Instead, he looked down at his okonomiyaki.
"You okay, Ranma? Would you like some hot water? It'll make a
man out of ya!" she joked.
"Not today. I...have my reasons for staying like this."
The regulars began to file out. Most left tips. They could tell
it was going to get personal. The last one out flipped over the "Closed"
sign.
"Ukyou, I need to ask you some questions."
"Sure. Fire away!"
"You remember how our fathers engaged us when we were little.
Better than I do, right?"
"Yes, you've always been a bit thick when it comes to girls."
She smiled to soften the barb.
"And even after all that's happened, everything I've done to you,
that's been done...to me, you still want to marry me?"
"More than anything else." Ukyou put her hand on his cheek. He
didn't shy away, but neither did Ranma look at her.
"Ukyou, you know I lead a violent life. There's always the
chance I'll be crippled for life, or even die."
"You won't die, Ranma. You're too tough for that. And even if
you were crippled, I'd still love you." After all, she thought, I was
willing to marry you when Happosai stole your strength, wasn't I? But an
image of herself spoon-feeding a wheelchair-bound Ranma as drool ran down
his chin came to her unbidden.
No, she thought, It'll never come to that! Ranma can beat anyone!
"And then there's my curse. I've been stuck in this form
before. What if it's permanently next time? Would you still marry me,
knowing I could never be a real husband to you? Unable to do what a man
should for his wife?"
Ukyou blinked. She'd never really thought of that. To her,
Ranma's female form was just a neat thing her fiancee could do. Hardly a
curse at all. Sure, Ranma complained about it all the time, but it never
really slowed him down. Her attraction was not just to the package, but
to the man within the body.
But she'd never been physically attracted to women, despite what
some people thought from the way she dressed. That was one reason why she
couldn't take Tsubasa. His imitation of a girl was just *too* good.
That and he was incredibly annoying. It'd be a marriage without sex, at
least comfortable sex. And no children, she'd always wanted children.
Well, there could be children, but not theirs together...
No! She would not admit a flaw in her devotion!
"Yes, Ranma, for better or worse, I would marry you."
That seemed to make him even more depressed. She'd seldom seen
Ranma in a darker mood.
"What's wrong, Ranma? You can tell me. I'm your friend, aren't I?"
"You know--too well--that I have other...obligations. It doesn't
matter, really that I didn't want to have them. No matter which fiancee
I choose, it breaks an obligation, and several hearts. But eventually I
*will* have to choose. What would you do if I had to choose another?"
Anger flashed through Ukyou's mind. "I'd ki--" Kill who? The
other girl, Ranma, herself? None of those would get her what she really
wanted. "I don't know what I'd do."
"That's what I was afraid of." Ranma sighed. "Listen, Ucchan,
you're an attractive woman with a good heart. You could find another man
to love you. Lord knows other boys already do."
"you mean Tsubasa? He's hardly husband material."
Ranma frowned. "You might be surprised. Anyway, I'm just asking
you to keep your options open. I've never meant to hurt you, and I don't
want to break your heart."
"I've got a strong heart, Ran-chan, and I won't give up until you
choose me!
Ranma smiled weakly. I know. I like you, Ukyou, but under the
circumstances, I can't say 'I love you.' You understand?"
"Yes. Yes, I think I do."
"Then it's time for me to go." He stood up, and Ukyou noticed
his breasts didn't jiggle as much as usual. Was he wearing a bra? Maybe
his mother had come by again. That would explain a lot, and she always
brought out Ranma's serious side. He had barely touched his food.
He was almost out the door when he stopped. "Oh, and if Akane
asks, we never had this conversation."
"Gotcha. Bye!"
"Bye."
Ukyou began whistling again as she cleaned the grill in
preparation for the next batch of customers. "I'm sitting in the station
by the railroad tracks..."
Several blocks away, the boy ducked into an old-fashioned phone
booth with an "Out of Order" sign on the door.
He removed his wig and let out a long breath. That was by far
the most difficult thing he had ever done. It was one thing to look like
a girl or dress up as inanimate objects. It was quite another to
impersonate a specific person, especially to someone who knew him well.
Tsubasa pulled out the wads of padding that had imitated female
Ranma's formidable breasts. It had taken weeks of preparation and
practice for just a few minutes' performance. Getting the walk, the
speech habits, the facial expressions just right.
He doffed the Chinese outfit, and wriggled into a more
comfortable dress. It could all have gone wrong so easily. If Ranma had
returned early from his trip, if one of his enemies had been fooled by
the diguise into attacking, Tsubasa would be in traction now. He was
glad he'd discarded the idea of having "Ranma" dump Ukyou; too easy for
his rival to deny he'd done that.
No, just asking a few leading questions was the best approach.
Perhaps it had even worked.
"Tomorrow, back to unsubtle! Wouldn't want Ukyou to get
suspicious after all." He grinned, and began skipping, heedless of how
people might react to a dancing phone booth. Life was good.
THE END
SKJAM!
"All is for the best, in this best of all possible worlds."
Doctor Pangloss, from "Candide"
Actually, this started out as a straight Ranma/Ukyou fic, but I
quickly realized Ranma just wouldn't be asking some of these questions...
but then, who would, and why?
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