As we approached the luscious gardens surrounding his family’s elegant mansion, I watched Zoisite greet each of the guests as they entered the gates of his family’s home. I had learned that he was marrying Ami from the royal line of Mercury.
Ahead of me, Nephrite turned his head briefly to give me a sympathetic, encouraging look. I reminded myself that I would be here to wish Zoisite happiness, regardless of the fact that he had deserted me and played with my heart.
“Jadeite, Nephrite, I am honored that you could make it,” Zoisite said, his head bowed.
“Of course, how could we not?” Jadeite laughed, patting Zoisite’s shoulder before moving on to join the other guests inside the courtyard.
“Congratulations, Zoisite.” Known for his bluntness, Nephrite’s good wishes are sincere but brief. “May you have a joyful future.”
I watched Zoisite murmur his gratitude as he raised his emerald eyes to welcome the next guest. His dark eyes widened in shock as they met my own pale eyes, and he retreated a small step back.
“Kunzite…”
“Zoisite, I-” Uncomfortably aware of the line of guests behind me, impatiently waiting to greet the groom and join the pre-wedding festivities, I faltered. I tried to make my words as sincere as possible, but I knew how miserably meaningless they surely sounded. “I hope that you may be happy with Princess Ami.”
Zoisite nodded wordlessly. His eyes had already shifted to the next guest, and he carefully kept his attention focused away from me. I moved on to join the rest of the crowd.
“Princess Ami?”
The blue-haired young lady, Zoisite’s betrothed, turned to face me. She was the sole female heir of the planet Mercury, and as such, had the role of Sailor Mercury, one of the four defenders of the Moon Kingdom royalty.
“Lord Kunzite, if I remember correctly?”
“Yes.”
“I am glad that you came. You are a friend of Zoisite’s?”
I hesitated momentarily. A friend? I had hoped to be more than that, but since he had abandoned me several weeks ago, I had begun to fear that I was less. At this point, I could no longer tell what I was to him. “A colleague, yes.”
Ami nodded. Since meeting her, she had stricken me as the intelligent, reserved type - a lake of cool calm to balance Zoisite’s whirlpool of turbulent emotions.
“If I may inquire,” I asked, for the question had been lurking in my mind ever since I had learned of the marriage, “how long have you and Zoisite been... courting?”
She seemed surprised at my question, and then laughed kindly. “Actually, we do not really know each other. Our parents betrothed us to each other when we were young. Perhaps we should have tried to become acquainted, knowing that we would marry one day, but there has not been an opportunity.”
“An arranged marriage?” I began to understand Zoisite’s strange behaviour.
“Yes. One day, when I rule Mercury, Zoisite will join me and perhaps, be Mercury’s envoy to Prince Endymion, but the main purpose of this wedding is to renew the treaty between Zoisite’s homeland and my planet. Every third generation, our two royal houses will marry,” she explained academically, as if we were discussing politics and not the lives of two people. “Do you not have similar relations with the planet your homeland corresponds with, Lord Kunzite?”
“Yes, we do,” I replied. Venus was the planet that watched over my homeland, but we had done away with such traditional arrangements a long time ago, keeping our ties through generations of friendship more than through any other means. “But our alliance with Venus is not so…ceremonial.”
“That is interesting,” Ami mused aloud. “But my House and Zoisite’s have always been bonded on these terms, and that is the way it has worked for centuries. I do not expect you to fully understand,” the princess continued, seeing that I was about to protest, “but keep in mind that your homeland and Venus have always been much more…liberal concerning such matters.”
Despite her polite tone, I realized precisely how little she thought of our ‘liberal’ approach. Seeing that there would be nothing to be gained by a rebuttal, for her stubborn belief in the purpose of adhering by tradition was obvious, I changed the subject. “Do you know where Zoisite is?”
“I believe he has retired to his room for the night,” she told me. “I also must take my leave of you now. I need to ensure that all preparations for the ceremony have been made. It was a pleasure to talk with you, Lord Kunzite.” She curtsied.
“The pleasure is all mine,” I responded automatically. “The best of luck tomorrow, my Lady.”
“Thank you.” I watched as the young - she could not have been more than sixteen or seventeen years old - princess of Mercury left the room, and then I began to look for Zoisite.
After searching out the location of his living quarters, I raised my hand to the door and knocked.
“Come in,” called Zoisite’s weary voice, slightly obscured by the heavy door.
I entered, quickly shutting the door behind me as Zoisite, taking a swift glance at me, gasped and immediately sat up. He had been lying on his bed, and the glass lamp on the table besides the bed was lighted.
Briefly, I wondered what he had been doing. It was obvious that he hadn’t been sleeping, or had even attempted to. Nor were there any books in his vicinity. For all I knew, Zoisite might have spent the past hour staring at the ceiling and thinking whatever thought pleased itself to flit through his mind. It was clear that he had been too distracted to imagine that I would come. Unless that was precisely what he had been imagining.
“Kunzite…I was not expecting you…”
“May I?” I asked, motioning to the wooden chair near his desk, a few feet from his bed.
“Of course…”
I sat facing him as he continued. “But what are you doing here? I mean, at all?”
“I thought it was obvious,” I replied, keeping my tone neutral. “Do I need an invitation to wish my colleague a happy future? Though I cannot help but wonder, will it truly be a happy future? It seems to me that this is not what you have chosen.”
Zoisite paled slightly. “What are you saying? Of course this is what I have chosen!”
“According to Ami, this marriage is simply part of the terms of the treaty between your homeland and Mercury. You two had not even met each other until you had to prepare for your marriage.”
“So? I do not see why you insist on discussing this now.”
His defensive indifference vexed me, but I was determined to have an answer before I relented. “Why did you not tell me? You misled me into believing that you had fallen in love with another and did not feel for me as I feel for you.”
“I did not mislead you! I spoke of obligation. I never claimed to care for anyone but you…” He sighed softly, then murmured as he looked away, “What difference does it make? I must marry Ami.”
“Why?” I pursued. “You barely even know each other. Why do your families insist on abiding by strict, outdated treaties?” I could feel my irritation growing. I did not comprehend why or how such absurd traditions could be made to dictate someone’s future, let alone how someone can simply agree to let those ridiculous traditions dictate his future.
“Damn it, Kunzite,” Zoisite cried, his voice suddenly harsh with emotion. His brilliant emerald eyes flashed dangerously at me, and I could see that they were brimming with tears. “How am I supposed to make you understand? This isn’t what I want, but it is what I must do and what I will do. It is the only role left to play.”
“What are you talking about?”
“My sister is destined to be the next ruler of my homeland. My older brother already leads the royal guard. I am the youngest and am not needed at home. I am the logical choice. Before I was even three, my parents had already planned my future for me.”
“To marry Ami-san and renew the terms of the treaty?”
“Yes. I am the closest to her age, and I would be ideal for preserving relations between Mercury and my home. It is my duty to my family and to my homeland.” His wide, teary eyes silently plead for me to understand. “The price for being a valued member of the royal family,” he added bitterly.
When I remained quiet, he said, “It isn’t what I would have chosen, but it is what is right.” The tears escaped silently, unacknowledged by him as they slid down his cheeks, dripping off his chin.
I wanted to hold him, comfort him and wipe his tears away, but I restrained myself. “How can something so wrong be right?” I challenged instead. Perhaps I should have trusted my better judgment and left things as they were, but at that point, I no longer cared what my better judgment was advising me to do.
“It’s the role I was always meant to play,” Zoisite answered. “I was wrong to distract myself from my destiny.”
“So you admit that you used me to distract yourself. Tell me, Zoisite, just what am I to you? You never answered me the first time I asked, when we parted ways. Was I always only a mere diversion by which you amused yourself?” I hated myself for being so harsh with him when he was so obviously hurting, and I knew that he didn’t deserve to hear any of this, but I let my anger choose my words.
“No, Kunzite, that’s not it at all…” Zoisite protested softly. “I care about you, and I’ve said as much in the past. These past few weeks…I-I’ve missed you, and I’ve realized how important you really are to me.” He paused and turned away from me. “But I know that there is no way for us to be together, ever. I’m getting married tomorrow, and I…I had thought that I was only risking my own feelings. I had not intended to delude you into believing that something would ever come of our relationship. I did not mean to hurt you… I am sorry, Kunzite.”
And I knew that he was, but what he said was true. We were helpless victims of cruel circumstance and fate, and no matter what we wanted, there was nothing that we could do.
With this knowledge, the two of us lapsed into an uncomfortable silence, for there were no words that could change how things had turned out. The past few months when we had been together had been so idyllic, and yet he had known all along that it would come to nothing. What we wanted was impossible. Still, I couldn’t stop loving him, couldn’t find it within myself to regret the limited time that we had shared.
“You should go,” Zoisite finally stated, rising to escort me from his room. “I’ll see you at the wedding tomorrow morning.”
Reluctant to leave, I knew that I could accomplish nothing by staying. But if I stayed, my heart argued, perhaps there might be something, anything that I could say or do, something to bring a smile to that beautiful, unhappy face…
“Please, just go!” Zoisite cried when I hesitated, giving me a small push to hasten me out his door. Obligingly, I left, hearing the door slam shut behind me.
The wedding was beautiful. All of the guests were seated on long, cushioned benches in the main pavilion behind the mansion, surrounded by the exquisite, beautifully-cultivated gardens. The pavilion itself was shining with reflected sunlight and had been especially decorated for this resplendent occasion. Immediately around the pavilion were a number of slender sakura trees, their branches full with light pink blossoms blowing gently in a warm spring breeze. Zoisite and Ami were standing in front of the alter, listening to the priest as he prepared them for the marriage vows.
My eyes lingered on Zoisite for longer than I had intended. He was wearing a formal, ceremonial robe, similar in design and color to the one he had worn when he had attended Endymion’s birthday celebrations with me that memorable night...
I forced those memories from my mind, for with them came the painful reminder that Zoisite would never be mine. I deliberately shifted my eyes from the young groom to his bride.
Ami wore a ruffle-collared white blouse under a cerulean dress coat. Her matching blue breeches were embroidered with the rolling waves of Mercury’s clear blue-green seas, and her short blue hair was ornamented with dazzling jewels that reflected the sun’s light with every movement of her head.
Next to me, Princess Minako of Venus nudged me with her elbow, a rather unladylike gesture that certainly did not suit a princess. I found myself wondering where she had learnt it. “They both are really beautiful, aren’t they?” she whispered.
I nodded in agreement. I had run across this old acquaintance late last night after my visit to Zoisite, and she had practically begged me to be her escort for the wedding festivities that were to take place the evening of the wedding.
“Why do you need an escort?” I had asked, impatient to seek the solitude of my room so that I could be miserable in my sorrow. “It is not as if you were the one to be married tomorrow.”
She had gawked at me, shocked that I would reply with such an abrasive comment, or perhaps simply shocked that I did not seem pleased to see her after so long. Then she had laughed it off and explained to me that her friends, her fellow guardians, the princesses of Mars and Jupiter, had found escorts to be with for the ball immediately following the wedding ceremony, and she needed one as well.
I had forgotten about the ball, and had not planned to dance, but how could I refuse such a simple request from a family friend? I had agreed, and now the spirited young royal of Venus sat beside me, watching the ceremony.
“I can hardly believe that Ami is the first of us to get married,” Minako sighed. “She is the most studious and serious of Serenity’s protectors; one would never have imagined that she would marry so young… Well, it is in name only, isn’t it? They won’t be living together for a few years, right?”
“Quiet,” I told her, for the priest was speaking.
“Do you, Zoisite, son of the House of Adularia, vow to take Ami, daughter of the House of Mercury, to be your lawfully wedded wife, and to care for her in sickness and in health, in war and in peace, until death do you part?”
“I do,” Zoisite replied looking straight ahead, not at Ami. I wondered if he was even looking at the priest.
“And do you, Ami, daughter of the House of Mercury, vow to take Zoisite, son of the House of Adularia, to be your lawfully wedded husband, and to care for him in sickness and in health, in war and in peace, until death do you part?”
“I do,” Ami promised, also looking straight ahead. No, her eyes had shifted to Zoisite. I saw his green eyes meet hers undecidedly.
“Then, before all who are gathered here today, you are bound together in marriage and must honor your obligations and each other. I pronounce you to be husband and wife,” said the priest confidently. “The bride and groom may now kiss.”
Zoisite and Ami stood there looking at each other, into each other’s eyes, communicating I knew not what while the crowd waited expectantly. I wondered what they would do, what they were saying to each other through those looks.
The priest cleared his throat hesitantly. “Ah, it is now customary to kiss…” he mumbled uncertainly.
“Thank you, Father,” Ami said to him. She gave one final glance at Zoisite, who nodded ever so slightly. The blue-haired princess then turned to the gathering. “We will postpone the true kiss for the future. For now, let it be known that the royal house of Mercury and the royal house of Adularia are bonded once again.” Raising herself on her toes, she kissed Zoisite on the cheek. After her kiss, he knelt on one knee, taking her gloved hand and gently pressing it to his lips.
The crowd applauded, and I along with them, wishing that the noise of the throng could fill the hollow space within me.