"When He Finally Realized..."
By Yui Miyamoto

"For the next few weeks, we will be reading and analyzing a certain book." Groans were the responses that the whole class gave to the teacher.

"I'm sure you've heard that there is a secret about this school."

"Yeah?" one classmate asked.

One boy next to me snickered to his friend, "I heard he's been here for A LONG TIME."

"Only our students get to read a rare book titled, When He Finally Realized."

"[It] sounds kind of boring, Mr. Kawa," a girl whined from the back of the classroom.

"Yes, ahem, well...This book is the only one ever written and was found years after this school was built. It is said to be written by the unknown sponsor of the school who was a famous writer of his time. But there's something wrong with the book."

"Like what?" we all inquired with curiosity.

"You'll soon find out."

As soon as I turned my head away from the window, I looked into his direction. Something told me to...

Wasuno started hyperventilating next to me. I sprang from my seat and Mr. Kawa instructed me to bring him to the nurse's office.

"Are you okay?" I asked as soon as we were out of the room.

He shook his head and gasped for air. As I comforted him, he began to take deep breaths.

"What happened?"

"I-I don't know. It was like my body reacted on its own."

I look away. "Oh."

"Th-Thanks for helping me out today," Wasuno said to me as I pass him in the sidewalk while walking out the front entrance of the school.

"Doitashimashite (You're welcome)," I sincerely answered back; but I walked on until I was running away from him.

"Wait!" I heard a tiny voice blurt out.

I glance behind me with a glum, yet smiling face. "Yes?"

"I know this will sound funny." He put his hand on his head hesitantly and sheepishly whispered, "I should have told you this two years ago...but I recognized you for some strange reason, Koneru."

I reason, "Maybe I look familiar because I have a common face."

"No, you don't." He then walked away. I stood there for a long while in awe and embarrassment.

Chapter - Yume to... (...and Dream)

(From Wasuno's perspective...)

Ever since my classmate, Yui Koneru, helped me when my body reacted to the announcement of that weird book, I have been having these weird dreams for three months now...

April:

I didn't have to know who just walked into the apartment. Next thing I knew, she stood behind me as I read my story to the voice-operating computer. She watched me in silence, but always with that beautiful smile on her face.

"What are you doing now?"

"I'm trying to make a new story."

"About what?"

"It will be about some scientist who knows a secret that no one will believe until it's too late. But I do not even know how to start it, Megane-san."

"You will," she answered. "You always do. Just look at the stars and you will know."

May:

I had another dream continuing the previous one...

"They are building that tower in the middle of the city," Megane-san commented as we stepped onto the moving sidewalk. "How weird. I mean, we have not had that kind of technology since the dark ages!"

"You know Mars was built from Earthlings about one hundred years ago."

"You're right."

We walked around the cemented canyons.

"Will we end up like that planet?" She stopped to regard the river under the bridge we stood upon.

June:

The Ambassador had just announced to us in the government, the Assembly (our governing body in which the intellectual personalities of the city came together and I was a member of), that there was someone in this city with high frequency brain waves. The waves were caught by several secret military radios and were now being searched for.

"If you know anyone who has any type of what is called ESP, Extra Sensory Perception, please report it. We do not want to make the public panic; so keep this top secret."

The idea toyed within my brain as I left the Assembly Capital of Shin-Edo (New Tokyo). It was a great addition to the book and it was not as if anyone would believe it anyway.

"Oh, God," I whined to my best friend, Kenji Hitotsuno. "Remember I told you I was having these weird dreams?"

"The ones where you look the same as you do now. And your best friend, who happens to be a girl, looks like someone you know here, but won't tell me who. Those dreams?"

"Have I been talking that much about them?" I leaned back on the grass overlooking the river in front of us.

"Yeah. But it's so weird. It's like I've heard this story before." He laughed it off. "Now I'm the one who's being strange."

"But think about it. It's just too odd for this to be a dream. First off, I looked exactly the same as I do now. Second, it takes place here about four hundred years ago. I know it. I've been researching all these months on astronomy and past history as a hobby, but now I feel like I have to know."

"What do you mean by 'have to'?"

"She encouraged me. The girl in my dream named Megane. Before I woke up, a voice told me, 'Look further and deeper.'"

"What a pun," he pointed out. "Haven't you noticed that her name means 'glasses' as in 'look harder and deeper'."

"It could be just a coincidence." I stood up in haste.

"I mean, in When He Finally Realized, his best friend said the same thing to the main character, Mamoru."

"And don't you think it's odd that the only name mentioned is Mamoru? He only mentions his own name and does not mention the names of the other characters."

After my July dream, the situation got a bit more intense...

I shouted, "Yes, I find her very attractive!"

"Don't scream at me Shinjitsu-san!" Megane-san covered her ears and began to cry.

I couldn't believe I had that kind of tone with her. All she asked was if I found Laura Nohikari pretty. "I-I'm sorry."

"That's okay." She erected herself into a straight position.

There we stood in the middle of my living room. Silence.

I glanced away. "I am...She's...She is my girlfriend."

It's Megane-san's turn to avert her body away from me.

"Oh, really? Congrats."

"You approve, right?" I had anticipated for a positive answer.

"Of course, I do!" She faced me once more with a huge smile on her face. "I'm your best friend. Anything that makes you happy makes me happy. But why did you hide this from me?"

Chapter- August: The Nightmares Begin (dreams and reality included).

"Laura-san!" I screamed as the guards took her away from me.

We were just walking to go to a cafe that afternoon when the guards of the Assembly suddenly seized Laura by the arm.

"What do you think you're doing?!" we both screamed.

"We'll have to bring her in for questioning."

"For what? You don't think she-"

"Mr.-"

I rose up from my bed in a cold sweat. "What in the world? They're too real to be just dreams anymore."

Instead of going back to bed, I stepped onto the balcony to do some "celestial" research for the remainder of the night.

The next day...

(Yui's speaking now.)

I entered through the back lot of the high school so that I could avoid everyone. It was not as if anyone really noticed me anyway. I still felt like an outsider even though I transferred here during my freshman year. (I am already a junior.)

As I passed the bushes in back of the building, I caught a glimpse of Wasuno and Hitotsuno in the corner of my eye. When I saw what happened, I immediately ran away from the situation.

During art period, I gave some lame excuse to the class representative and left the class quickly. After putting my things in my locker, I slowly wandered around the school.

I did not know why, but I found myself walking up the stairs to go to the roof of the main building. As soon as I had opened the door, I found Wasuno sitting on the wall to the left of me; when I saw him, the door closed and I placed my arms around his shoulders while he hugged his knees crying silently.

"Cry," I consoled. I hugged him even tighter.

As I did so, I thought about the girls who walked ahead of me while stepping into class.

One had said, "Do you know what happened this morning?!"

"Yes," the other replied, "I know. I saw it from a distance."

I embraced him as if my life depended on it. "I-I'm sorry, Shinjitsu-san..." I trailed off to build the courage to gently whisper, "I...I love you."

At that, I rubbed my cheek on his soft hair and leave. Before I closed the door, I caught him watching me.

Chapter - It's More Than Mere Fiction Writing

(This is Shinjitsu's mind again.)

It's now the second to the last week of August. And, instead of dwelling in my sorrow because what I stupidly said two days ago, I've attempted to make myself busy with astronomy as well as history.

In the oldest history book (well, all 'books' are on computer CD's), stated a sentence about some incident where one citizen had been tried to death because of some secret within the government. If for some reason I was right, then that citizen was this Laura in my dream!

The astronomical research gave not-so-great news either. Gradually, from two years of investigation, I saw the gradual decrease in sunlight into our planet. Of course, I’ve reported it, but no one will listen to me.

"Mr. Wasuno," Mr. Kawa instructed, "please read the following page. It is very important that everyone listen to this."

I cleared my throat and read from the laptop in front of me.

"I could not take it anymore. At that crucial moment, with clenched hands, I shouted to my co-worker that I was in love with her."

A male classmate snorted to mock me. "Sounds familiar."

I continued without any angry thoughts, "No sooner had I done that, six months later, she was taken into custody of the authorities. My best friend saw my sadness and assured me that everything was going to be all right." I stopped in the middle of the paragraph.

"What is the matter, Mr. Wasuno? Read on."

My eyes regarded the teacher in great sorrow. "I..." Thud.

"Laura-san, are you all right?" I watch her through the window between us. It was like a hotel room, but the cell was far from comforting.

"No," her tiny voice answered. She held her hands out to me. Her head fell to the floor in sobs.

They were bruised badly. And that's when I noticed the rest of her body had splotches of red and blue. My rage soared. "What the hell do they think they are doing?!"

"They're going to let me go tomorrow."

"They did this to you because they thought you had ESP?!"

"I am not allowed to talk about this. I will be killed."

"You know I tried my best to bail you out, but even my words are deaf to the Ambassador. He's usually wise, but this time, I know he is definitely wrong."

My blurry eyes opened to make out the figure of Yui-san next to me and Kenji-san right in back of her.

"How are you, Shinjitsu-san?"

"Fine."

Yui-san does not move her lips. She got up and grinned at me.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

Kenji-san pointed out to me, "Yeah, since she's the one you should thank for taking you here, attending you, and waiting worriedly until you woke up."

She waved her hand in the air and blushed. "You don't have to."

By the second I did thank her, she was gone in a blink of an eye.

(Now, Yui's telling the story.)

Four days later, I visited his home. When the door opened, I saw a girl there sitting in the den.

Shinjitsu-san looked up and blushed in return. "Konbanwa, Yui-san. (Good evening, Yui.)"

The girl just has a question mark written all over her face when I sat down across her. "What's with you two?"

"N-nothing," Shinjitsu-san answered in a split-second.

"Myriam Tomodachi, this is Yui Koneru. Yui, this is my good friend Myriam."

"N-nice to me you." I remained standing.

"Won't you sit down?"

"N-no. Um, I was just visiting to see if you were okay."

I clenched my hands and darted my eyes straight into his. "I am sorry. I really am. For everything I said and I really hope I wasn't the cause of this. I mean, for you missing school and all. If I am, please feel free to say so and I'll do anything for-"

He laughed. Despite the intense situation, I loved the way he laughed. "It's okay."

Shinjitsu-san then stared into my eyes. "And you never had to apologize for all the things you said to me."

"Really?"

"Well, I'd better get going." Myriam got up from the floor. "See you tomorrow, Shi-chan. Nice meeting you, Yui."

"I'd better be going too," I announced as soon as she had closed the door behind her.

"Wait." He grabbed my hand and pulled me to sit next to him. (He's blushing red.) "Yui-san? Did you hear everything that day?"

"I heard the part when you said you loved him."

"..."

I took his hands and started crying. "You don't know how worried I've been! I thought you hated me, but I had to apologize before I let you go."

"Yui-san, I-"

I hugged him and cried even harder. "Shinjitsu-san...do you want to do the same thing as he did?"

"He?"

"Mamoru."

"What do you mean?"

"What he did to his best friend."

"What about the best friend?"

"The best friend was a girl."

He grew quiet.

"I'm sorry if I've become impulsive, but I'm yours, Shinjitsu-san. When you kissed him, my heart broke so badly that I-" I stopped talking.

He grabbed my wrists. "I saw something when you came in. You were trying to-" He turned over my wrists and halted in speech. "I can't believe it."

I pulled my arms away quickly and brushed off the conversation along with my tears. "Oh, don't feel sorry for me, Shinjitsu-san. It was a clumsy accident while cooking. I-"

"You tried to kill yourself over that?!" He interrupted with an incredulous expression. He takes a firm hold of my shoulders. "Promise me you'll never do that again."

"Promise." I lay low my eyes and grab my bag. "Here are your notes for class. I've got to keep half, though. I'll exchange with you later because I missed school too."

"Don't try to change the subject."

This time, hesitantly, I glanced up to meet his eyes. I had already stopped crying. "I must say, Mamoru, you follow your path and I'll follow mine."

He let go. "What? Where did you hear that from?"

"I said it to someone I cared about." My eyes gazed off into another world. "A long time ago."

"I've heard-"

I interrupted him to give a sad smile. "I dream with you-huh?"

He embraced me. I heard his racing heart.

After two minutes, I gently pushed him away, snatched my backpack and walked out of the room. "I'll be leaving now. Bye."

All throughout the night, I thought about it. The weekend passed and I walked to school with my head down-as usual.

Shinjitsu-san ran next to me with a big smile on his face. "Hi! Here are your notes. Thanks."

"No problem." I gave him the other set.

Then, he walked off and ran to Hitotsuno. "Why do you look so spaced out?"

Hitotsuno had a surprised face.

I began to smile and passed by him. "Seems like he's in a good mood today."

"Hey! Wait up!" He caught up to me. "Just out of curiosity, you talk to Shinjitsu?"

"Not really," I sigh. "I'm just a helper to him."

"Huh?"

"N-nothing." I ran away wiping my tears.

Without a sound, he motioned his lips to say, "You're crying?"

I knew it without looking behind me.

Chapter - When Similarities Become More Than Coincidences

(Shinjitsu has the floor once more.)

As I entered the class, my classmates' conversations halted.

Of course, I knew what they were talking about. And what's more, I still couldn't believe what I had done.

I just wasn't the type to say anything about myself. If you wanted me to listen to you, I'd do it whole-heartedly. As for me, I would not tell you my feelings even if you pried it out of me. Of course, there are those certain exceptions...

Everyone always called me the shy one and the 'feminine-type'. It grew boring after a while when women and men alike would mistake me for a woman. It [was] my eyes, they would say to me, or the way I conducted myself. I was dubbed "the beautiful man".

It never bothered me much. People would treat me okay, but once in a while, there was usually someone who would come up to me say something nice about the way I looked.

If people thought my friendship with Kenji-san was weird then, now it was out in the open.

I sat down and read the book that seemed to point out my current situation in life...

"I grew worried. When she was let out of the custody of the government, I took her home with my coat around her. She cried the whole way. All I could do was comfort her as best as I could.

"But it was futile. My apprehensiveness grew even more so. The funny pang of strange guilt ran through me. What was it that bothered me so much? Wasn't I satisfied that she was safe?

"Speaking of safety, where was our own? A man, one of my close friends, shouted on television to be aware of all the signs of destruction. He had done research on what happened to Earth. No one believed him, though. Except me.

"After calming her down, I ran home to write of the happenings of my friend within my journal. What did all this mean?"

I read along with the class the pages I had read this morning.

Mr. Kawa posed the question, "Do you see any unusual circumstances within this passage alone?"

Yui-san rose up her hand.

"Yes, Miss Koneru?"

"The unusual circumstance is similar to the history pages in which there was a man many years ago who had predicted a horrible fate on Mars similar to that of Earth. The man is not named in any historical books, but he is known for speaking out about destruction."

"Correct, Miss Koneru. As you know, our Earth had collapsed due to a lack of resources when a change within the time-space continuum had occurred. Only, we did not know what was happening so everyone immigrated to Mars much earlier than anticipated. Fortunately, there were seven stations set up already. One for each continent and their survivors. Anything else anyone would like to add?"

A girl with a red braid raised her hand. When she was given permission to speak, she pondered aloud, "Mamoru is a scientist himself. Doesn't he know anything about this?"

The bell rang.

"We'll answer that question tomorrow. Today, you are to read the next chapter of the book."

Kenji and I walked home together. I wondered how he's feeling. After all, it's been five days since I told him.

"Hey, um, about what happened the other-"

"Sorry about that. Can I plead temporary insanity?"

We strolled through the park and watched the lake aimlessly while leaning on the railings.

"Have you been having those weird dreams lately?"

"Yes, but they're nightmares now if you ask me."

"Okay. Then please hear what I have to say." He sat on the bench while I continued to stare into the blue lake. The trees rustled. A queasy feeling began to form within my stomach.

"My dream was that I was a woman named Laura. I did exactly what we read in class."

That was when I slowly turned my head to face him. My face was filled with shock.

"I...I was...God, this is so embarrassing." He slid his fingers through his hair. "Hey! You look like you've seen a ghost!"

I shook my head in disbelief. "I am not hearing this! You're lying to make fun of me! Just because I-"

My best friend shakes my shoulders. "Get a hold of yourself! I would never tease you if I was serious!"

"But remember that woman I told you who was my best friend's friend and was my girlfriend? Her name was Laura. In my dreams, I am the 'Mamoru'!"

Kenji-san became red in the face while I backed away from him in fear. "What's happening to me?! It's this stupid book! Probably I'm just good at predicting scenarios that I've been dreaming about these things!"

"Shinjitsu-san! Get a grip! You're losing it!" He ran over to punch my arm. "Whatever this is, I'm sure it will pass."

"But you don't understand this time. It's all coming together. I hyperventilated over the introduction of the book. I fainted while reading the book. I do exactly as this book says." I broke down and cried. "There's...It's like I'm forgetting the main point, but my body and mind react to things around me because of When He Finally Realized."

Out of the blue, he questioned, "How about Yui-san?"

"She's the one whose blue eyes look the same as the best friend in my dreams. Come to think of it, she said she knew my dreams."

That night, I dreamt...

I paced around and kept on dialing her phone. Beep. Beep. Beep. It was busy. It didn't make sense. Where was she? Megane-san was not calling me back?

Two days ago, she told me to leave her alone because she was going on a trip for a week. But she said she would leave a message for me on her own phone.

This wasn't like her to leave me in the dark.

Chapter - Je Connais. (I Know.)

(This is the voice of Yui.)

"So you see," Mr. Kawa explained, "this book is more than a book. It's telling a history that only few know of in our day. The reason is that many wanted to forget. This is all we know: There is great gap between the 100 Mars Era to 200 Mars Era."

"Mr. Kawa?" I asked.

"Yes?"

"Isn't 'Mamoru' a name for a Japanese Earthling?"

"You're correct, Miss Koneru. But how would you know that it would be a Japanese name? Most people would not know that because of the gap in history."

I became flustered and thought fast. "Isn't the tower in the center of our city a replica of the Tokyo Tower? Besides, some of us have Japanese names because we belong to this station." (Nice save.)

"I'm glad someone has been researching on their own. And yes, that's all we know about our past. This time called 'The Forgotten Period'. We are now in the 500 Mars Era, but we know nothing after the migration here to Mars."

Shinjitsu-san blurted out, "But the book is the one that bridges this gap, am I right? This book does not have the first and last quarter of its pages because the writer wanted for someone to figure out that this was 'the gap'."

Mr. Kawa and the rest of us were taken aback. "Yes, Mr. Wasuno. This is the point I've been trying to teach for twenty years and someone has finally figured it out."

Kenji-san whispered to Shinjitsu-san. "Then, this is a diary?"

The bell rang and everyone ran out. I slowly rose out of my seat and sighed as Shinjitsu-san observes me. I felt his eyes staring.

"Hey..." I heard Kenji-san think aloud.

I waved goodbye with curved lips and looked away. He'd never like me anyway. It's a real one-way triangle...all over again.

As my silent feet walked down the lonely hall, I heard Kenji-san say, "Yo, Shinjitsu-san! Come back to reality. You like her or something?"

My feet stopped to hear his answer.

"No, it's not that. She's just a friend. I was just thinking about something while I was looking at her." The echoes of getting out of his desk alert me so I run down the stairs to the field in back of the school.

In a place where no one could see me, I laid my stuff down with a jolt and curled myself in a ball. Then, I began to cry. Badly.

Was it because my heart ached? Was it because I've been lonely all my life? Was it because I knew the truth? Was it because when I did fall in love for the first time in my life, instantly I knew he wouldn't love me? Yes. It was the same as it was then.

"Hai. Hai. Hai. (Yes. Yes. Yes.)" I mumbled to myself. "It's so true." I was so pathetic. I hated feeling sorry for myself, but I couldn't help it. Now I think he pitied me.

Out of nowhere, a hand touched my shoulder. Instantly, I slapped the hand away. "Don't touch me!"

I did not even bother to look up. "Please leave me alone."

"Yui-san?" The grass crunched under the person's knees. The person pulled my face gently to look at theirs I sat perfectly still.

"Hey, it's me, Kenji."

Kenji-san. But, my eyes catch Shinjitsu's figure right in back of him. I burst into tears once more. "Please...leave me alone."

They left me...or so I thought.

Someone put their arms around me. This time, I slapped him in the face. "Don't touch me."

Shinjitsu-san folded his hands while kneeling next to me.

"Kenji. He's still the same. Even you are still the same."

"What do you mean? I don't seem to understand what you're saying these days."

"You will someday. But Shinjitsu-san, please leave me alone. I will never bother you again. Sorry for being a nuisance."

"Why, Yui-san?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you crying? Why are you feeling sorry for yourself?"

"You don't know me. So don't care, okay? Don't feel sorry for me because I cry. If I don't cry, I'll never let everything get out."

"Tell me."

"You've got Myriam and Kenji..." I became annoyed with him for staying with me. "Oh, if you're not leaving, then I will!"

(Shinjitsu's back to telling the rest of the story.)

When she stomped away, I listened to her say, "You had Laura."

"Laura?"

"Shinjitsu. Wake up."

Laura pulled me up from the floor. "You still have the telephone in your hands."

"I was trying to call Megane-san."

"She didn't call me back either. What happened to her?"

I lied down on the couch. "Where am I?"

"Shinjitsu, I think [you're] really fatigued if you can't remember where you are. This is your apartment."

"It is, but then it isn't."

She sighed. "I know you're worried, but so am I. It's been three days so I came here to visit. And when I got here, I found you on the floor."

"Laura is the name of the girl in my dream."

"You are not in a dream. I'm right here."

I chanced it. "Kenji?"

She gave me a funny expression and tilted her head while giving me water. "Yeah?"

"You respond to the name Kenji?"

"Well, you nicknamed me that." She placed her hands on her sides. "Why do I get the feeling that you're not kidding?"

I gulped. In all my dreams, my name was never mentioned, but I've got the same one?

The cloth she placed on my forehead slipped to the ground. "Oh my God! She didn't!"

"She didn't what? Yukari?"

"Yukari?"

"You are talking about Megane-san. Right, Shinjitsu? Don't tell me you forgot that you nicknamed her Megane."

"But why?" I lament. Why DID I nickname her that?

"I've got to go to the Assembly Capital right away."

While driving, it all made sense. She predicted things without me thinking about it much. I thought it was all a coincidence.

I placed my right hand on the scanner and entered. I barged into the Ambassador's office. There stood Megane-san in a white toga that was similar to Ancient Greek clothing. She was outside stuck in a garden surrounded by four windows.

"Megane!"

The Ambassador shouted. "You know her? This psychic?! She's a heretic! Her kind is the reason why Earth died!"

"Is this why all of them were massacred on Earth?!"

"Don't you know that it was because of her, being the last one that secretly survived, that we are in a black hole?!"

"What in the world-"

"Brush up on your physics, Mr. Wasurenaino! Aren't you a scientist?! The Earth collapsed due to her great mental powers!"

"What?! That's absurd!"

As I run to the door, he grabbed me firmly by the arm. "According to the revised version of Einstein's theory, when a large mass collapses, it pulls everything in."

I broke through the window and took a hold of her waist with my bloody hands.

"Shinjitsu, leave me alone!"

"This is why Laura-san was released! You exchanged yourself for her!"

She did not answer, but I knew the response.

The pool in front of us waved up and down while we are surrounded by the guards.

"Kill her or you will be severely punished for resisting the command," the Ambassador threatened.

"I won't blame you, Shinjitsu." She pulled me into the deep pool. My hands strangled her neck. I shook my head and pulled away, but she used her telekinetic ability to tell my hands what to do.

In my mind, I screamed, "NO!!!"

Telepathically, she answers, "I'll always protect you. Remember my blue eyes when we meet again."

I jumped up with wide eyes.

"You've been out for quite a while, Shinjitsu."

My shaking hands along with my whole body rose up from the grass I lied upon. "I remember! 'Shinjitsu Wasurenaino' means 'Never forget the truth'!!"

"What the heck are you talking about?" Kenji thought I really was nuts.

"We've got to run to Tokyo Tower!"

Along the way, I explained everything to him. "...and if I'm correct, she's going to sacrifice herself again! The sun we see is growing dimmer and dimmer because we are sinking! I thought it was preposterous, so I did not say anything."

As we went up the floors in the elevator of the tower, I couldn't think straight. Everything was crashing in. It was her who gave me the dreams. She wanted me to remember. But why?

In the book, I put her as my best friend. Kenji and she had switched places. Why would you want me to remember?

"So that you can write again to give other people dreams," her voice answered in my head.

We reached the highest floor and there she stood in the same clothing that she had on hundreds of years ago with spread out hands. I couldn't push through the mental bubble.

I screamed, "Why?!"

She replies in my mind, "Because if you remember, I will come back to you."

She sang. As she did so, the sun started to shine, but it was getting ready for sunset.

"We're no longer in a black hole," Kenji states.

The bubble faded and I caught her in my arms. "Yui-san..."

She whispered softly. "They blamed it on us when it was them who brought upon their own destruction. We are the ones who always save people. Do you know how we do it?"

"I don't understand. I still don't." I held her closer. "Why should I let the past guide what I want now and in the future?"

"Because what you write is what makes people happy. They hoped and will hope because of you." She gasped for breath and I saw her slip from consciousness. "It's over. I'm glad you found out everything."

"You came back to save me."

She slipped in my arms and smiled with closed eyes. "It's over...right, Shinjitsu?"

"What do you mean?!"

"I was your Yukari...and I always will be. I'll always come back to save you wherever I am. Don't worry, I'll just be sleeping...inside of you."

"Yui-san? Yui-san? Yui-san!" And I knew then how her kind had survived through her and how.

In the hospital, I checked her in with Kenji. She is still limp in my arms. I followed the doctor until the doors of the emergency room block me.

When I ran into the waiting room, Kenji asked, "Why don't you call her family?"

I started crying again. "She doesn't have any."

"That can't be."

"She told me once when we were freshmen."

"Yui-san was always smiling and studious. When we saw her weeks ago, that was the first time I saw her actually cry." Kenji sat in a chair.

"I'll never forgive myself." I sat down and put my hands over my head in frustration. "She died the first time because of me and if it happened again..."

"She's in love with you! Do you love her back?!"

"I-"

When we both brought our heads up, we saw Mr. Kawa and the doctor speaking to one another. The doctor nodded his head and left.

"Mr. Kawa." We bowed. "What are you doing here?"

"I knew you would be here...Mr. Wasurenaino."

For a moment, I stopped breathing. "You know, don't you?"

He hugged me. "I'm sorry to say this, but-"

I shook my head in denial. "She didn't."

Mr. Kawa cried and continued to hug me. "She died from mental collapse. She used up all her energy by using ESP."

"She didn't die," I whispered to him. "I won't believe it. She just fainted!"

"She's in room 215."

I ran and walked into the dark room. The door closed behind me. My knees fell to the floor by her bedside; I got up and took off the towel on her face.

"You're beautiful. Why couldn't you ever believe that? That's why I named you Megane. Megane was my own secret word for Megami. Megami means 'goddess' in Japanese."

I hugged her dead body. "Why? Why did you have to die? Even when you avoided me, you still smiled at me. You were always kind...you killed yourself for me.

"Why like this? You promised you wouldn't! Why does it have to always end up like this? Why did you have to make yourself Yukari again? I...I should have...No, I never pitied you. WHY?!"

Mr. Kawa and Kenji came into the room to tear me away from her body.

"I killed her again! I'm the one who should have died!"

I was a big lump on the tile floor.

"I've been waiting for you all this time, Shinjitsu."

"What?"

"I'm your friend who predicted the destruction to come."

"How could you live so long?"

We exited out of the hospital.

"You haven't fully remembered have you? All of us are reincarnations except you. Did you read the last pages of the book you wrote before the pages become white?"

"Yes. I stop my journal when I say sleep."

"'The gap' is when the people of Mars got upset over the presumed suicide of the great writer Wasurenaino. They depended on you to write because it always gave hope for a better future. As you know, history was repeating itself with industrialization and dishonest politics. People believed in you. You were their hero. Once they found out it had something to do with the Assembly, they tore the Assembly Capital down and rebuilt one near the replica of the Tokyo Tower.

"We went through massacres and political unrest until a better government was created. As for you, you did not commit suicide. You sealed yourself in your home to forget what you had gone through. That is, you didn't age because you were preserved by some invention you made." He handed the book to me. "I think this rightfully belongs to you."

I flipped through the book. "All the pages are reappearing!"

My knees collapsed as we walk through a bridge. It was the same one Yukari had questioned if we would end up like Earth? Sadly, as I flipped through the last page, her writing was on it.

(flashback)

"Well, you've got to let me see it," Yukari commanded playfully.

We sat in my bedroom. She grabbed the book on my desk.

"Hey, that's my journal!"

"Oh, you know I won't read through it. I just hope I'm in it."

"Of course you are! You're my best friend!"

She scribbled in it:

"I hope you'll realize what I'm trying to say. Someday. You'll remember me because of this book. Love always, Yukari."

I turn my head to Kenji while still kneeling on the cement floor. "I had this feeling that I didn't want Yui-san to end up like something I've experienced before."

With a pathetic laugh, I continue, "And you know what else is ironic? My name and hers. In the book, I named myself 'Mamoru': To protect. With Yui-san, 'Koneru' is the French verb for 'Connaire' which means 'to know'."

As I sat there in my desk to write about dreams for the future, I sighed. The world wanted me back. They wanted me to write. Yukari wanted me to write. I put my head down and drops of blue fell without hesitation.

I remembered what she had told me when I began writing. It was a hobby to me then, but she told me, "You have to get your voice heard, Shinjitsu-san. All the books you make for fun are more than you think. They can give people the encouragement they need to go on.

"Your stories don't always have happy endings, but they are realistic. You talk about everyday people with such sensitivity. That's why I like you.

"You never know what the outcomes will be as you write, but when you write out the ending, it flows. And that's life: You lead your path with your own truth, no matter what happens."

Before I went into a deep sleep years ago,
I named my journal When He Finally Realized after her.
In the end, I [realized] I loved her.
And once more, I realized it too late.

Owari (The End)

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