Articles
Do You Have The Time?
For those who don't have a clue as to who I am, let me introduce myself. Gomes. Sherlock Gomes. As in Detective. Private Detective. Or as in Darling. Darling of the Opposite Sex. Or maybe Nemesis. Nemesis of Criminals. Hold on…I think I'm getting too carried away with all that James Bond bullshit. Who needs him? I'm real.I had finally decided to take a vacation. Yes, even the great Sherlock Gomes needs a vacation from time to time. Come on, I'm only human. So Sapna and I decided to fly down to Meridian Island, the world's first and only manmade island resort. No, I don't go to Pune for my vacations. And no, I didn't walk to Meridian Island. I can afford economy class tickets…when I want to, that is.
And so we flew Air India to Meridian Island. Just the two of us. In separate rooms. That first day was awesome. Lying on the beach, or water skiing; drinking wine at lunch with a Mexican band serenading Sapna for me; a romantic candlelight dinner for us, staring into each other's eyes and coming damn near to spilling the wine as I poured out a second glass. Well, either I'm just too good looking, or Sapna was drunk. Anyway, she started pawing me in the elevator. She just couldn't keep her hands off me. Of course, I reciprocated those feelings.
The next morning, I cancelled my room.
And in the lobby I met my best friend in the whole wide world.
Vijay S. Tandel, Inspector, CBI.
My mouth was hanging wide open. I'm sure in that interval of time a dozen flies must have had a nice round-trip through my mouth. Finally, I spluttered. That was about all.
Vijay was saying, "Well, look who's here! Gomes, Sherlock Gomes! Why, what are you doing here? Who's airplane ticket did you steal?" And he thrust his face closer to mine.
"I'm on vacat…" was all I had time to say before that awesome whiff of paan-tainted breath hit me. I lurched back, coughing, gasping for unadulterated air.
Policemen. Paan and tobacco. Give them a free gift of that and they'll lick your soles if you want them to.
"Why are you here, Tandel?" I asked as soon as I had caught my breath.
His voice changed. Gone was the joviality. Deep beneath that exterior mask of indifferent sarcasm I knew he really liked me (I know, kind of a surprise, isn't it?). He said in a serious tone, "Work, Sherlock. I'm after an international art dealer. He stole a very important antique from India and took off. He's here. In this hotel."
"What antique?"
"The Kohinoor Diamond."
"WHAT?"
"I thought you'd be stunned."
"What's his name?"
"Kalambar Dignesh Haresh Vidyanathan Iyengaran Anand Raghavan Srivastava."
"Huh? Come again?"
No, my hearing's not all that bad. But picture a cop telling you that the guy who robbed your house, kicked your butt and ran off scotfree was Kalambar whatever. Even you'd be stunned. I'm better than you, though. I recover quick.
"Kalambar…"
"I heard you once. I was just surprised. I had busted the guy once. I know him."
"Great, because we don't."
"WHAT?"
Two surprises in three minutes. Come on. You gotta excuse me. Picture the cops telling you that the guy who robbed you was Charles Sobhraj but they didn't have a picture of him.
Tandel was speaking, "…last thing he did was to get a constable to burn his file. All pictures lost."
I was sarcastic, "What did he gift him? A year's supply of tobacco?"
"No, actually," Tandel was grim, "he threatened him at gunpoint. And then shot him dead."
I sobered up, "I'm sorry. Now what?"
"I need you to identify him."
Work. It follows you everywhere. I was about to agree when I remembered that Sapna was with me.
"No," I said firmly. "I'm on vacation."
He was actually stunned.
"Sapna's with me," I told him.
"Oh." His face fell.
"I'm really sorry, Vijay," and I was, I really was.
"It's alright, I think I can manage," but he was looking pale.
I clapped him on the shoulder and then I left.
On the beach with Sapna, I told her that Tandel was here. Searching for a criminal whom I could identify.
Obviously, she asked, "And are you helping him?"
"No."
She looked at me with a strange expression for a long time, and I had to look away. "I'm very disappointed in you, Sherry."
I must say that I felt lower than a worm's belly. Even the great Sherlock Gomes can do some favours when he wants to. But in this case I didn't. Luckily, Sapna didn't say more.
The next day we went on an island tour. I quickly left the tour bus midway throught the tour, telling Sapna to go shopping and that I would meet her at the hotel later in the evening.
That turned out to be a big mistake. She spent money like water and when she returned, she was flat broke and weighed down with bags like a porter. I'm no maadu but I appreciate the value of money. After all, it was my money that she spent.
In the hotel I caught a glimpse of Vijay S. Tandel. He looked haggard, worn out. I almost felt sorry for him. Until he spotted me.
"Sherlock!" his voice boomed across the lobby.
"Hello, Vijay," I said, feeling uncomfortable.
"When are you leaving, Sherlock?"
"Tomorrow. Afternoon flight."
"We'll got together then. My work remains incomplete. The CBI recalled me last night."
"I'm sorry," I said, simply. This guilty feeling was pricking my conscience.
Yes, the great Sherlock Gomes does have a conscience.
"See you around," he said, and left.
We reached the airport an hour or so before the flight. I was with Sapna, Tandel, a certain Mr.Mukherjee and another hotel guest by the name of Mr.Prakash Singhania.
We were chatting when I mentioned that this was my second trip to Meridian Island. Sapna looked at me as if to say, "What are you talking about," but she didn't say anything.
I continued, "Last time I was catching up with a notorious art thief called Vincent McLaren. Say, Mr.Mookerji…"
"That's Mukherjee."
"Okay, okay, aren't you an art dealer?"
"Antiques, actually."
"Hmm. Okay. So I was after this McLaren guy. He was living in a cheap hotel in Meridian West. His idea was to steal the Lokhambar Stone."
The people around me gasped.
The Lokhambar Stone was discovered by the crew of Apollo 24 on the Moon. Carbon dating shows its age to be as old as the Earth itself. So what. You'd say it's just a stone. It is. But it's shaped like a human.
"So he made a circuit of the Museum. As you must have seen during the tour, the Museum is located in Meridian East."
They nodded.
I continued, "So the guy figures out that on Sunday night, after the Museum's closed, he's gonna go down there and grab the loot. Fine, good plan."
I looked at my companions before continuing. Prakash was looking interested. Mukherjee was sweating slightly in the air-conditioned room.
"He walked across the park at five in the morning towards Meridian East. He reached the Museum, got in and by seven he had removed the Stone.
"So imagine his surprise when the Museum personnel walk in casually at seven fifteen in the morning.
"Vince bolted, leaving behind the Stone and his burglar tools. We arrested him in an hour. He was running towards the hotel in Meridian West.
"Of course, he was trying to steal a natural treasure. So there was no question of a trial. He was executed summarily. Shot to death.
"All because he didn't know Meridian City's chief claim to fame."
"Meridian City is located exactly on 180 degrees longitude. When he left his hotel, it was Sunday morning. But when he reached the Museum, he had crossed the Meridian Line. It was Monday morning in East. That little trip around the park had cost the guy his life.
"Why, Mr.Mukherjee, you look a little green. Try some of my air-sickness pills."
When he spoke, his voice was frigid, "No, thank you. If you'll excuse me." He got up and left.
The temperature had definitely dropped. As he walked out of earshot, I leaned over to Vijay Tandel and said, "That's your man."
Tandel made as if to go after him. But I held him back and said, "Save it for Customs in Bombay."
Tandel was sputtering, "How…how…how…"
"I got contacts here remember."
See. You thought I was gonna let Tandel lose his job for no fault of his. Even the great Sherlock Gomes does have a human streak in him.
Tandel was staring at me with such an expression of gratitude on his face that I felt he would have licked my soles clean if I had asked.
I grinned. Whatever happened, we were going to have a very interesting flight back home.