Written by Jamie Godley

A fictitious, make-believe,

What-if kind of a Sailor Jupiter/Ogre Slayer Fanfict

(This Fanfict is rated PG-13)

Prologue

There's something you should know about the planet Jupiter. Aside from being named after the king of the Roman and Greek gods, and being the largest of the gas giants (snicker), there is an interesting fact about its people. Well, to begin with, they're not people, but pure ogre. However, this seemed irrelevant on the heralded day when the princess was born, in the form of a human girl. A shame to her entire planet, she was shunned from it, and was then booted the Moon Kingdom where she ended up being thrown to Earth later on. Unfortunately, at the same time, some of her fellow ogres fell into the atmosphere as well. Her ancestry? Pure ogre. Her destiny? Well, among other things, to kill her own kind.

Unaware of her destiny, it is up to Tsuno1, a siamese cat with an ogre's horn on his forehead, to track her down, and present her with her ogre-killing sword. She will then learn her true destiny, which is to wipe the ground with her demonic relatives of ancient past.

She has a human name, but once she switches to her male, ogre-slaying guise, she becomes "Onisera," otherwise known as...

Ogre Sailor.

Allotment One: Everyone's Luck Runs Out Sometime

"HELP!!!!" Minako yelled as she ran down the dark streets. Lights flickered in the distance, but they were no help. The ground was slippery, given that it had rained that afternoon, and every so often, she would slip and fall. This is the last time I ever decide to walk home from practice alone, she muttered as she ran.

A mammoth-sized beast of some sort was chasing her. She could feel it breathing down her neck. Subsequently, she lost her footing again, and she fell face-down in the damp alley. She covered her face with her hands so she wouldn't have to face the ugly thing. She felt it slash her clothes up as she cried out in terror. At one moment, she felt a strange force brush up against her, then she felt incredibly shaky. The next thing she knew...

SLASH!!! The ogre slithered back at the sight. "Artemis!" Minako yelled joyfully. She gasped as the cat faced her. It wasn't Artemis, it was a siamese, with an unsightly horn growing from its forehead. Apparently, it had a vendetta against the ogre, and soon enough, the ogre was fended off, hopefully forever.

"Are you alright?" the cat asked her. "I'm sorry I scared you like that. My name is Tsuno."

Minako nodded. "I'll be alright. Th-thank you for killing that ogre for me."

"I didn't kill it, I only deflected it for a while. I have to find the Ogre Sailor in order to actually kill it. By the time you get home, you will forget about this little episode. When you feel a stirring, a brooding presence in your soul, then I shall return, with the Ogre Sailor. You don't have much time."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Minako asked suspiciously as she tried to stand up. Tsuno seemed to be ignoring her, and walked off in a hurry. "What did he mean by that?" Minako rubbed her head in confusion. She walked home.

:(

THREE YEARS LATER, AT A SCHOOL NOT SO FAR AWAY...

"Usagi-chan!!!" Makoto yelled as she snatched back her lunch. "Keep your mitts off my lunch! It's mine!"

"But I left mine at home again!" Usagi whined. "Luna hasn't shown up yet with it, so I guess I'll end up starving, and you wouldn't want that, now would you? Like our Health teacher, Miss Ayumi says..."

Makoto sighed as she listened to Usagi's babbling. "Fine. Here, take it."

Usagi blinked. "Huh? All of it? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm not that hungry anyway," Makoto leaned back against the tree.

"I'm starting to get worried about you, Mako-chan," Ami said as she approached the two. "You've been acting really distant for the past week. You keep giving Usagi your lunches, you pass up snacks at the temple, you don't even stop by the arcade anymore to flirt with Motoki. Is something the matter? Are you sick?"

Makoto tried to think up a reasonable response. She really couldn't explain why. For some reason, she had this strange, unearthly feeling in her for the past couple of days. It was an odd feeling in her soul, and in the back of her mind, like some sort of memory block was trying to get loose. "I feel fine. I'm just not hungry, that's all."

"Maybe she's anorexic," Usagi guessed with a mouthful of food. "You don't eat and then barf, do you?"

"Usagi!" Ami chided. "Makoto would never do stuff like that! She knows better, right Mako-chan? Mako-chan? Hey, I'm talking to you!"

"Huh?" Makoto snapped from her daze up to Ami's look of concern and exasperation.

"See? This is exactly what I mean by distant!" Ami placed her hands on her hips. "She probably didn't even pay attention when Rei announced she was gonna become a nun and move to the Vatican."

"Huh?" Usagi sputtered on her drink. "Rei never said that!"

"Usagi! Of course she didn't! I was just trying to see if Makoto knew that," Ami replied. As she looked down at Makoto again, she realized she wasn't there. "Huh? Makoto? Where did she go?" The two looked everywhere, but she had somehow gotten away during their conversation. "There's something strange going on with her..."

:(

MEANWHILE, AT SHIBAKOUEN JUNIOR HIGH...

"Man do those guys suck!" Angela hissed as she, Minako, and their friends watched the boys baseball team play during lunch. "Look at them! All puny and wussy, it's no wonder why we don't win any games! Those sissy-pants losers are the worst players I've ever seen!"

"Oh, they're not that bad," Minako replied. "I admit, I've seen better though."

"Jamie could play better than them," Renee joked. Jamie spat her soda out.

"I'm not that bad!" Jamie shot back.

"Oh yeah? What about that game against Youma? You could've easily dodged that spike, instead, it hit you head on!"

"It was too fast," Jamie whimpered. "It had attitude."

"Excuses, excuses," Emily snorted. "Thank goodness the rest of us can play halfway decent. We're lucky we made it to the finals." The two began to squabble, until Katrina looked up from her food just in time to yell: INCOMING! as a ball shot at them from the field. Jamie, in a desperate attempt to redeem herself, tried to shove Minako out of the way so she wouldn't get hit, but for some strange reason, the ball seemed to be aimed directly for Minako, but it smacked Jamie right in the cheek. Minako turned round just in time to see Jamie keel over.

"Hey! Watch where you hit that fucking ball, you jerks!" Angela wrung her fist in rage. She whirled to see Jamie bawling. She held her injured cheek, which had a huge mark over it. Blood seeped from her mouth. "Jamie! Are you alright?"

Jamie tried to respond between her tears as Renee and Katrina helped her up. "Come on, we'll get you to the nurse!" Renee said as they started off. "Emily, tell Miss Tomoko what happened. Don't think Jamie'll make it back to class!" Emily nodded and gathered up Jamie's things.

Angela turned to glare at Minako, who was in a small stage of shock. Weird, Angela thought, I could've sworn the ball was aiming for her, even if Jamie hadn't shoved her over, could it have dodged her as well?

Some feet away, Jamie's sister Carrie and her friends stared at Minako. Even though she could care less if it had been her big sister who had been injured, she gave Minako an evil sneer. "That was strange, Carrie," Heather mentioned. "It happened again!"

Carrie nodded. "You're right. It seems that whenever something bad is about to happen to Minako, like when that Acme anvil *mysteriously* fell on Jen when it was specifically meant for her, and when that loose beam at the construction site put Karen in traction and Minako escaped without a scratch! People around her get hurt, and she gets not nearly a bruise!"

"You think she's got some secret powers?" Maureen tried. "Like some monster?"

"Idiot!" Carrie smacked her upside the head. "Hmm, maybe you're right for a change. Sounds like a likely reason why Minako can fend off danger and we can't."

"Well you know, ever since that incident with that guy a while back, she hasn't been the same," Heather put in. "Hey Carrie, I got an idea! We could try to harness that power for ourselves!"

"I got a better idea," Carrie got up and brushed herself off. Her friends started to follow her, but she motioned for them to stay put. "I don't need you guys. I can handle this alone." She strutted into the building after Minako, Angela, and Katrina.

:(

Thankful there wasn't a meeting at the temple that afternoon, Makoto headed home. She thought back to what Ami had said during lunch, indeed, she had been acting a little out of it for a while, but why? As she passed the nearby junkyard, she heard some kids shrieking and carrying on. Curious, she stopped.

"Hey, lemme see it! Let's throw it and see if it lands on all fours!" One of the little boys yelled. Makoto watched in horror as the boys abused the poor little cat.

"HEY, YA LITTLE MAGGOTS! PUT THAT CAT DOWN!" She thundered. The boys jumped at the sight of her, and ran off, leaving the cat behind. She went over to the cat and knelt down. It looked like it was in shock, and there was a massive bandage on its forehead. "There, there. It's alright. Those little psychos are gone." Her curiosity was getting the best of her again, as she began to unwind the bandage around the cat's head. "What happened to you, huh? Got hit by a car? Hold still, I'm almost done--EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!" She jumped back in awe. The cat certainly had amazing reflexes. It twisted around in the air as it landed on the ground before her, all four paws clinging to the dirt. The bandage fluttered down, revealing the biggest horn Makoto had ever seen. Usually one not to get scared over something so trivial, she crouched back. The cat trotted closer to her, and started to slow down once it was about a foot away. "Heh-heh-heh, it's just a cat, nothing to get scared about, Makoto," she said to herself. "What's it gonna do, scratch you up?" She still shook from the shock, and knelt down to the cat's level. The two sat there, silent, for a good ten, fifteen seconds, give or take. Someone had to break the ice. "Uh, nice kitty," Makoto held out her hand. The cat glared at her strangely.

"Don't act so tense, Onisera," the cat replied. "I've been looking for you, and at long last, the destiny is safe."

ÀDRAMATIC PAUSEÀ

"OH MY GOSH--A TALKING CAT--AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Makoto ran off like a schizophrenic maniac. Once she was about three blocks away, she stopped to catch her breath. "That cat, it talked, to me." She thought for a second. "Nothing new, I almost forgot about Luna and Artemis."

Then the little voice popped up inside of her. "Uhh, Mako-chan, it's me, your inner child. We haven't talked in a while. I've grown quite large."

"What the hell do you want? Why are you talking to me now at a time like this?" Makoto shot back.

"Need I point out that the cat you fear also has a horn?" the inner child remarked.

"Huh? Hmm," Makoto thought for a bit. "THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" She ran for home, not stopping once.

:(

Minako, too, was glad there wasn't a meeting. The volleyball team needed all the practice they could get when the match between them and T*A Academy was coming up. Unfortunately, their team had been down-sized a great deal; Jen was out, Karen was out, Jamie was out as of that afternoon, it seemed pretty much next to impossible to play with four players left. Granted, Katrina, Emily, and Renee were fairly good, and Minako herself as the captain made it a well-rounded team for the time being. But even Angela could see that the next couple of games would be pretty ugly. After T*A would be Juuban, Mugen Gakuen, Furinkan, and Tomobiki. And with them being short half the team, they would probably bomb at each one.

Once practice was over, and the other girls went to change, Minako was motioned over to the bleachers by Carrie.

"I saw what happened to my sister today," she began in a snobbish tone.

"Yeah, now the team's in big trouble. Is she gonna be alright?" Minako wiped the sweat off her forehead with a towel.

"Broken jaw, black eye..." Carrie trailed off. She turned back to Minako, and gave her an evil sneer. "Why did you do it, Minako? Why?"

"H-huh? What? What the hell are you talking about, Carrie?"

"People around you are getting hurt. The anvil, the construction site beam, now the baseball incident, they were all aiming for you and you alone. But for some reason, you can repel the power, and it always hits the person closest to you."

"Maybe you're just jealous because I have good luck, and you don't," Minako snorted and started off.

"Yeah, but I bet there's something even more deep about it," Carrie shot back. Minako continued to walk away. "Your luck always brings others misfortune."

Bitch, Minako thought in resentment. As she entered the locker room, she felt a strange rumbling, a faint tug around her rib cage, near her heart. Maybe I'm just hungry, she deliberated. Or maybe not.

:(

Makoto ran inside her apartment and slammed the door. She quickly fixed all the locks. "That cat, for some reason, I think it's coming after me," she ran into her room. Somewhat beat after her sprint from school, she flopped down on the bed. Sleep evaded her, but she forced herself anyway. "If I go to sleep this will all blow over." She closed her eyes.

She was unaware of the presence outside her window. Magically, her windows flung open, and the being hopped inside. Once that was taken care of, it made the windows slam shut.

Makoto snapped awake. Nervous and anxious at the same time, she slowly turned over. She gasped in horror at the sight. It was the horned cat! She leaped off the bed and slowly peered over the side, to where she was eyeball to eyeball with the cat. "You startled me, kitty! What are you doing here?"

"Why Kino Makoto, I came for you," the cat began. "It's taken me fourteen long years, but I know I am sure of it. It could be no one else but you."

"What could be...?"

"I am certain that you are..." the cat hesitated. "...an ogre."

WHAM! Makoto tossed the cat across the room, where it crashed into opposite wall. "You jerk! First Usagi thinks I'm anorexic, then Ami thinks I'm sick for not seeing Motoki, now you, a common cat, have the nerve to say I'm an ogre! Am I that ugly!?" She then began to throw nearby objects at it.

"Please--if you could just listen--stop!--hey, what was in that pillow, lead?--not the lamp--try to understand-"

"Understand!? I'll show you!" Makoto bellowed as she continued to throw things at it.

"I was afraid to do this, but you leave me no choice," the cat began to concentrate. "I call upon the rapier of the Ogre Sailor." It's horn glowed, and as a pillow came soaring at him, a magnificent sword appeared, and slashed the pillow in two. The two halves fell to the floor. The sword fell down on the bed. Makoto froze, spellbound.

"How--how--how did you do that?" Makoto gawked in amazement.

"Finally, I have your attention," the cat cleared its throat. "Perhaps I should introduce myself. My name is Tsuno. I am your long lost cat guardian, from the Jupiter Kingdom."

"The what?"

"I can truly understand if you don't remember. I mean, it took Luna and Artemis to retrieve your memories of the Moon Kingdom, I suppose it's up to me to help you dig further into your past.

"But just hear me out, I was absolutely serious in what I said earlier. You are an ogre, but then you're not. Your ancestry is pure ogre. Somehow, when the Princess of Jupiter was born, that being you, you were born in the form of a human girl, what you appear now. Everyone was disgusted by your appearance, you were, as the people call it, the black sheep of your planet. Shunned and exiled from your home planet, you were then sent to the Moon Kingdom. Beryl attacked, etc, etc, etc. Now you're here. So what if you're a Sailor Senshi, that's just scraping the surface. You are far beyond that, for you are...an Ogre Sailor." He looked at her blank expression. "I mean, look at it this way. Usagi and Ami are Devil Sailors, Minako's the Sailor of Salvation, I suppose I'm the one to tell you that Rei is a Vampire Sailor, and that only leaves you. Don't consider it coincidence, it's your destiny."

"Are you sure?" Makoto narrowed her eyes. "That's a pretty far-fetched story you got. You sure you don't got me mixed up with some boy that looks like a long-lost princess? That's happened before, you know."

"Look, if this were El-Hazard, I'd be some tall blond chick, but I'm not, I never will be, so there," Tsuno remarked snootily. Makoto still looked unconvinced. "It's not a lie, I'll prove it to you. Pick up the sword."

"Why should I?"

"Pick it up!" Makoto reluctantly picked up the sword. "This is the Ogre Sailor Rapier. The blade is very powerful, it can cut through anything. The shine of the blade in the moonlight strikes fear in the hearts of its enemies. You must use it to kill off other ogres, seems like for some strange reason, when you were reborn on Earth, some of the ogres from Jupiter escaped into the atmosphere." He watched as an odd flash occurred before him, enveloping Makoto. The next thing she knew, she was decked out in a boy's school uniform. Her hair was in a low pony-tail, and her chest had been bound down so that she would have the appearance of a boy.

"What the fuck-? What have you done!?" Makoto gasped in horror. "I'm a guy now!" She wrung Tsuno by the neck. "Change me back!"

"Crimony, Makoto, it's just a disguise! You may not understand now, but believe me, it's for the better. Some of the challenges you face may make you glad to be a guy."

"This is getting weirder by the minute," Makoto settled back. "First I find out I'm an ogre set out to kill my own kind, then I get some rapier, now instead of being Makoto-chan, I'm now Makoto-kun," she let out a long sigh. "Cripes!" She looked at herself in the mirror. "I look like that girl down at Okonomiyaki Ucchan's! I look like my old boyfriend!" She sighed again. "Now I might start getting phone numbers--from girls!"

"It's not that bad," Tsuno comforted her. "It's only until all the ogres are smite off the face of this Earth. I got most of them, but there are still some left."

"Why couldn't you just go and get all of them?"

"I had to save some for you. Can't hog all the glory." He straightened up. "Like right now, I sense an ogre's presence, but in a strange way. Your job as the Ogre Sailor will start tomorrow morning, at the railroad tracks before Shibakouen Junior High," He headed for the window, and prepared to depart.

"Where are you going?" Makoto asked.

"I have somewhere to go. Don't worry, I'll be here in the morning. I'd start getting ready." He left.

"And just how do I do that?" Makoto grumbled. "Alright, Tsuno, I'll just sit here, and...train."

:(

Minako tossed and turned in her bed. Every time she tried to fall asleep, the vision of her being attacked by the ogre kept re-entering her mind. She saw the cat, he said something about a brooding in her, and that he would bring an Ogre Sailor next time they met. She then thought back to the anvil incident. And the construction site. And Jamie's misfortune with the baseball. "Maybe it is my luck," she thought aloud. "Funny, I've always been quite lucky. Even when I was taken to Hell by Hades I made it out with pure luck."

"It's not your luck," a voice said from her window. It was Tsuno. "Don't think of it as blind luck. It is the presence within. In your heart and soul. It is the brooding of a presence. The only reason why you're not in a full-body cast now is because the presence is protecting itself."

"The presence within...?" Minako repeated. "That sounds absurd!"

"It's true, Aino Minako. And the Ogre Sailor will see to it that the presence gets destroyed. If for some reason it comes loose, and leaves your body, do not, under any circumstances, do not take it back in." Tsuno left.

"Wait!" He stopped. "You keep saying this stuff about the Ogre Sailor. Where are they? Why haven't they come yet? Are they even real?"

"As real as the presence in you," Tsuno remarked harshly and pounced off.

"The presence within," Minako rested back against her pillow. As she drifted off to dreamland again, she felt the tugging around her chest again. She was still full from dinner, what could it be? "Was that the thing within me?" Great, she thought as she stared out at the midnight sky. Now I can't fall asleep, thanks to that horned cat.

:(

"Hey, wake up, Minako, lunch time," Katrina tugged on her sleeve. "Man, were you up watching TV late again last night? Was there another Ken-chan and Cato-chan marathon or something?"

"No, when I eventually fell asleep, I had this strange dream," Minako began as she yawned for the millionth time. "There were all these ogres, and when I thought I was gonna die, this really, really, really good-looking young man saved me." She sighed. "If only he were real. He was definitely my ideal man."

"Really?" Katrina perked up. "What did he look like? Was he cute?"

"Hey, I said good-looking, right? Anyway, he was tall, normal build, and had long, brown hair, somewhat wavy, tied back in a pony-tail. And get this! He had a really cute butt too!"

"Man, he does sound great!" Katrina replied. "Hey! Aren't you gonna eat your lunch? It's getting cold."

"Ehh, I'm not that hungry," Minako turned away. "Where are the others?"

"Hmm, Emily's getting Jamie and Jen's assignments in German, Miss Tomoko's tutoring Angela, and Renee's re-taking her Geometry test. Supposedly a 95 wasn't good enough for her. Guess it's just you and me!" Katrina glowered at her simple lunch, then over to Minako's large, delicious looking lunch. Seeing that she wasn't paying attention, Katrina switched.

Up above, Carrie had a plan of her own. Heather and Maureen were outside, and she was all alone. "Finally, I got you right where I want you, Minako." She pushed the window out of its frame, and it toppled over, right over the sill, then it plummeted down below.

Katrina looked up just in time to see it aiming directly for Minako. "MINAKO! LOOK OUT!"

"Huh?" Minako followed Katrina's fixed glare as the window crashed. Only it wasn't on her, but all over Katrina. She gasped as Katrina slumped over on the ground, blood running down her face. "OH MY GOSH!!! KATRINA!!!" She screamed, loud enough to get everyone else's attention. The entire student body gathered around the ailing Katrina and horrified Minako.

"It is the presence within, your heart and soul," Tsuno said in the back of her mind.

"Someone call an ambulance! Minako, support her head, she's bleeding!" Miss Tomoko instructed.

As emergency aid tended to Katrina, Minako ducked back against the building. Carrie looked down at her, pissed as ever. As she fought back the tears, Minako felt the tugging around her chest and heart get tighter. As she squinted her eyes to stop the tears, she heard a deep, sinister voice. "Release me! Set me free!"

"NOOO!" Minako screamed. Immediately, the force within her grew stronger, and it caused all the windows to shatter around her, the glass flying out at the unsuspecting crowd. In shock more than ever, she fainted against the wall. Everything grew black.

In the distance, Tsuno watched. "I've got a bad feeling about this. Better get Makoto, this is gonna be one helluva battle!" He darted off.

:(

"Wha-what happened? Where am I?" Minako sat up and rubbed her head. She found herself lying on a cot in the nurse's office. The clinic seemed empty, as with the entire school. "What time is it? I guess everyone's gone home already." She slowly got out of bed.

SCHINNNNK. The door slid open. In walked Carrie. "Like I always said, your luck always brings others misfortune."

"Carrie, what do you mean? Where is everybody?" Minako began to spill out question after question, until Carrie smacked her across the face as hard as she could, enough to bring Minako (who ironically was older and stronger) down to her knees. "What was that for?"

"That window was specifically meant for you," Carrie grumbled angrily. "I watched as it shifted over mysteriously and hit Katrina instead!"

"Then it was you who did it! I should've known!" Minako clenched her fists in anger.

"Yeah, but I'm not the one with the infallible good luck," Carrie smirked as she snapped her fingers. "Thankfully, there were more witnesses this time! Come on in, guys!" At that moment, five bandaged-up students walked in, carrying an arsenal of weapons, from mallets to boards, to various gym equipment. "That's right, Kristen, Tracy, Joe, Brian, and Matt! That's the girl who put you in your injured state! Get her!"

"STOP!!" Minako screamed. "This is madness! Please! Leave me alone!" She huddled down against the bed, as the students began to beat her with their tools. "Someone help me!"

"There's no one to help you now, Little Miss Perfect," Carrie sneered from across the room. "Let's see your luck get you out of this one!" She let out a roar of laughter as Brian brought down a mallet over Minako's skull, causing blood to spurt from her mouth. She needed to get out while she was still alive.

:(

"Why now of all times?" Makoto yelled as she followed Tsuno into the school. "Are you sure the ogre's gonna attack now?"

"Pretty certain! I can sense it! Call upon the Ogre Sailor Rapier! Transform into Makoto-kun! Hurry!" Tsuno instructed as they bolted up the stairs.

:(

"I can't...fend them off...much longer," Minako murmured as everything before her grew blurry. Blood ran down her face as she tried to crawl away. Tracy took this as an opportunity to yank her by the foot back into the field of battle. All of sudden, Minako felt an extremely tight tug against her chest. The students began to inch back as a yellow aura formed around her.

"What's going on?" Kristen wondered.

Minako leaned over, as the rumbling within grew louder. And louder. Suddenly, two giant masses of mist shot out of her, forming two hideous ogres. "They were inside of me!?"

"Great leaping horny toads!" Matt squealed as he ducked back. The ogres turned around and lashed out at the students. Carrie's laughter turned into a blood-curdling cry for help as she took cover. Unfortunately, the other students weren't so lucky. Within moments, bloody body parts were strewn everywhere. Joe thought he could get Minako from the side, but one of the ogres swatted him away like a fly, and beat his brains out.

Minako was disgusted by the sight, but at the same time, relieved. "Tsuno was wrong about them," she whispered as she gazed at the gory scene. "They weren't protecting themselves, they were protecting me. When those kids tried to kill me, they killed them! I'm still in perfect condition! Nothing can stop me now!" She let a maniacal roar of laughter. Carrie watched in fright as Minako stood up and raised her hands to the ceiling. "My ogres! You saved me. I didn't think it was possible for an ogre to save a human. Tsuno was wrong about you guys! Come back to me, come back to my heart and soul, where you belong!" She grinned from ear to ear as the ogres turned back into their mist form and degenerated back into her body. She held she shoulders as if to hug the ogres that were back inside.

"Finally, I made it," Makoto panted as she entered the room. Like Rei and vampire incidents, she became a little light-headed at the sight of the bloodshed. "Tsuno, it looks like the ogre has already taken its toll." She looked over to see Carrie white as a sheet. Carrie turned to face her, then she jumped into Makoto's arms.

"Oh, thank goodness you're here!" Carrie cried.

"You were expecting me?" Makoto asked with wonder.

"You gotta get Minako! She had these ogres in her, then she released them--*choke*--they killed the others, then she took them back in!" Carrie tried to swallow her tears, but to no avail. "I'm scarred for life!"

"You took them back in!?" Tsuno yelled in anger. "I told you not to!"

"Minako...?" Makoto looked at her in astonishment. "You're the one?"

Minako looked up. "You...you're the guy in my dream!" Makoto blushed in embarrassment. "Who are you?"

"It's me, Makoto," she then caught herself. "Makoto-kun. I am the Ogre Sailor."

Minako's look of glee then turned into one of abhorrence. "So, you're the almighty Ogre Sailor. You're a bit too late. I heard you were to come protect me, but you didn't. Now I have my ogre soulmates to defend me against harm. Never again will anybody try and hurt me." She got up and walked out of the room.

"Minako..." Makoto murmured as she watched her off.

:(

"Never again will I have to worry about anyone threatening me," Minako mumbled deviously as she walked down the dark streets. "If anyone tries to hurt me, then my ogre soulmates will chew them up and spit them out, just as they did with those puny underclassmen earlier. No one can hurt me now."

"Alright, class dismissed," Mr. Hoshi opened the door and the students came out. It was the Advanced Placement Gifted After School Astronomy class, so it wasn't a surprise to find Ami as one of the students. "Remember, you have that project on the planet Jupiter due next week. I expect nothing less than perfect papers."

Ami hummed a tune to herself as she walked down the sidewalk. It was about seven, seven-thirty, give or take, and she still had a ton of homework to do. The streets were deserted, and she noticed Minako walking right down the middle of the other side. "Hey Minako! What are you doing out at this time of night?" she called out.

"Oh, nothing that concerns you, Ami," Minako replied in a cocky tone.

What's with her? Ami thought with some mild concern. Attitude? Yeah, I'd say she has one.

Minako let out a low snicker as Ami disappeared around the corner. "No one can protect me except my ogres. Not the Sailor Senshi, or the Devil Sailors, not even the Ogre Sailor himself. I used to believe that perhaps he would have punctuality, but that's an overstatement. The only thing going for him would be good looks."

In the distance, she heard the sound of motorcycles. "LOOK OUT, IT'S THE CLOWNS!!!2" Someone yelled some distance away. Minako stopped in the middle of the road, as the headlights grew nearer. The motorcycles and gang cars revved up speed as they drew near Minako.

"Hey, bitch, get out of the way before you become roadkill!" One of the bikers yelled.

"Mmm?" Minako whirled around.

"It's your funeral!" Another biker yelled as he gained speed.

"Oh, I think not," Minako murmured wryly.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

:(

"What in the hell was that?" Makoto wondered as she got off the city bus on her way home. As she looked down at Tsuno, it was much to her surprise to find that he wasn't there. "Hey! Tsuno! Where are you?" She looked ahead to see him running like lightning towards the downtown district. In the distance she saw a giant cloud of red smoke, and fire roaring higher than the tallest buildings. "Looks like trouble. That must be where Tsuno is headed." She followed him.

Apparently, Minako had gotten away during the explosion, and ambulances and fire departments were already on the scene. Tsuno and Makoto wandered around. The saw one of the bikers trying to fix his wrecked bike. "Hey, what happened?" Makoto asked in gentle, polite tone.

"What does it look like, punk?" The biker retorted. "Alright, I'll level with ya. Some chick wouldn't get out of the way, so we figger we'd run her over, just to teach her a lesson. Somehow, when we got close enough, these giant ogre-creatures came out of her, and the next thing I knew--BOOM! Instant explosion. Good thing our leader Joker ain't hurt too badly, that little blond-haired bitch is really gonna get it now--say, you ain't in cahoots with the police, are ya?" He looked up at Makoto.

"Well, I don't believe in evil, and I definitely don't believe that anyone, good or bad, deserves to die at the hands of an ogre. I know who you're talking about." She walked off. She turned back to see the biker she had talked to and some of the others huddled around a motorcycle and talking, perhaps plotting a plan of revenge against Minako. "Her reputation has certainly taken an interesting turn," Makoto said to Tsuno as they headed home. Tsuno nodded.

:(

The next morning, Minako stood alone at the railroad tracks. Funny, she thought, there's usually more people here. She wasn't aware that someone was standing behind her. As the gate lifted, she prepared to cross. Just as she was almost across, she heard someone come up from behind.

"I know it was you who caused that explosion last night," Makoto said in a stern tone.

"And what if I did?" Minako gave a snotty sneer.

"Hmm, let's just say that about twenty or thirty Clowns want you dead," Makoto replied.

"Ooh, what are they gonna do, whiffle-bat me to death? Oh no, a drive-by clowning!" Minako said in mock terror.

"Your sarcasm overwhelms me," Makoto deadpanned. "Minako, you don't seem to understand the danger you are in."

"Oh, you must mean my dear ogre soulmates. You're wrong there, they protect me."

"And kill innocent people?" Makoto fired back (ba-domp bomp, pan over to pointless shot of Tsuno nodding).

"Ahh, I don't hafta listen to this load of shit!" Minako yelled as she began to run off. "My ogres only kill people who deserve death. You wanna join the list of casualties?"

"My motto is that no one deserves to die at the hands of an ogre," Makoto responded in grave voice. "Of course, I can always change my mind. Little girl, you are just a tiny horn atop an ogre's brow." Minako stopped, then kept going.

"Woah, where did you get that from?" Tsuno wondered.

"I dunno, it just came to me," Makoto scratched her head. "By the way, where's the brow located?"

"It's another word for forehead." Twit, he muttered under his breath.

:(

"And though we mourn the loss of our schoolmates, let us find the comfort that they are in a far better place. I hope you all join me in this moment of prayer," Headmaster Matsutake3 announced over the crowded auditorium.

Minako shuddered as the students around her began to inch away. She turned to her left to find Renee, Angela, and Emily talking amongst themselves. Once they found Minako looking at them, they automatically dispersed, with fearful looks on their faces. "Who needs them?" She murmured to herself. "As long as I have you two I have all the comfort I need."

:(

School let out early, due to the numerous funerals. Minako walked slowly down the sidewalk, her head hung low. She was sort of depressed about not seeing Katrina, for the hospital wouldn't let her in.

"Mi-Mi-Minako! Wait up!" A familiar voice yelled from behind. She whirled around to find Katrina running up to her, her right arm in a cast.

"Katrina-chan! I thought I couldn't see you! How did you get out of the hospital so soon?" Minako asked in amazement.

"Well, funny story actually. When my jaw locked, they thought I said mental ward instead of medical ward! And the ironic part is, this isn't the first time it's happened!" Katrina explained in an all-too-perky tone. "Oh, I heard all the rumors about you. I had no idea you had Sasquatch inside of you!"

"Huh?" Minako blinked.

"Oh wait, wrong supernatural being. Alien, no, that was Sigourney Weaver. A 3,000 thousand year old slug? No, that was Dax on Deep Space Nine. Eleanor Roosevelt? Nope, that was Hillary Clinton."

"Isn't she the President of the United States?"

"Yeah, pretty much." She then stopped. "Wait! I remember now! It was, it was, it was...an ogre! Yes, an ogre! Wow, that's cool, considering that you once had Satan as a boyfriend!" Katrina giggled as Minako turned crimson with embarrassment. "Aw, don't worry, I'll always be behind you, 125%!"

"Um, you can only get up to 100%," Minako replied.

"Whatever, you understand, right?"

VROOOOM! The next thing they knew, a whole horde of motorcycles and cars pulled up by the curb. "Um, Minako, what's going on?" Katrina hid behind her in slight fear.

"Hey, little bitch! Yeah, that's her, I'd recognize that poofy red bow anywhere," Joker snorted as he got out of the car, his arm, like Katrina's, in a giant cast. Two of the bikers grabbed Minako by the arms and held her head up to his level. He was surprised to see a sly grin across her face. "Aghh, what are you smiling at?" He brought his hand across her face in a violent smack. She still smiled, letting out a low snicker. "Put her in the car, boys! And get that other girl too! We wouldn't want this to get around!" They nodded and shoved Katrina in another car. The group sped off.

As they shot across an intersection, they were careful not to run over the three schoolgirls on the median. "What was that all about?" Naru wondered in concern.

"Where didja learn how to drive!?" Usagi wrung her fist in anger. "My manga almost got ruined!"

"Usagi, that's hardly the matter at hand here," Ami calmed her down. "I could've sworn I saw Minako in that car!"

"What did you say? Minako?" Usagi blinked in disbelief.

:(

Makoto stood on the overpass overlooking the busy downtown streets of Minato-ku. In the distance she saw the huge band of bikers and snazzy cars, zooming down the road. "Be alert, Makoto-kun," Tsuno warned. "They may have Minako. You gotta be ready to jump."

"Jump!?" Makoto shook her head. "Tsuno, Tsuno, Tsuno, no way in hell am I gonna break my neck over her."

Meanwhile, on the car, Minako had plans of her own. "Like I said to the Ogre Sailor, my ogres only get people who deserve death."

"What's your fucking problem, you little tramp?" Joker smacked her upside the head. "You still got that shitty little grin on your face!" He smacked her across the face once more.

Funny, Minako thought with a devilish smile on her face. I seem to miss my ogre friends when they're away. I should give them some free time. Like right now! She let out a laugh of glee as she felt her chest tighten as the ogres began to surface.

"Makoto-kun, there's the car! Jump now!" Tsuno clung to her shoulder.

"I said no!" Tsuno dug his claws into her shoulder. "AAAAAAHHHH!!! Damn you, Tsuno! Alright, I'll jump!" She made a deep breath and prepared to jump. With sheer luck, she landed on the hood of the exact car Minako was in. She peered inside just as Minako was about to release her ogre buddies. "Minako-chan! No!"

"Hey, you asshole, get off my hood!" The driver swerved around sharply, trying to bump her off.

"Hmmph, you're late again, Makoto-kun," Minako sneered. "You're free, my ogre soulmates! Attack!"

And boy, did they attack. The driver was decapitated in no time. Makoto back-flipped off the car as it made an extremely dangerous curve and rammed into a lightpole. The two jumped back again as it burst into flames. The ogres then began to lash out at anyone within the proximity. Heads, arms, legs, other appendages and body parts flew everywhere.

"That's right, ogres," Minako leered. "Kill them. Kill them all. Everyone except Katrina."

"Time to put your skill to the test, Ogre Sailor!" Tsuno yelled. "Get your rapier ready!"

"What am I supposed to do? Just wave it around and look brave?" Makoto tossed it from hand to hand.

"Jab it at the ogres, and say fear me, ogre," Tsuno instructed. Makoto glared at him, with a blank expression to one of pure incredulity.

"You have got to be kidding," Makoto sighed and jabbed her rapier at the ogres, displaying one of her most brave images. "Alright. Hey, ogres!" Instantly, they turned to her. "UM, FEAR ME!"

BOOM! As though she had been electrocuted by her own lightning, Makoto shook, her hair frizzed around, and her clothes sporting that *Would you like yours burnt of charred look?* She shrugged it off and turned to Tsuno. "Alright, cat! Anymore bright ideas? Feh, why do I even bother to ask you? I'll do this my own way! HHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" She lashed out at the ogres, preparing to slice them in half. Somehow, when she tried to slice the arm off one, it managed to fuse it back together. She continued to try, until she realized that, "SHIT! My rapier has no effect on them!" The ogres began to laugh at her wickedly. "Stop that impertinent laughter! Gosh, I can't believe I'm related to you!" She continued to fight them, but made no progress. Their laughter prevailed.

"Katrina! Get over here!" Minako demanded as she watched Katrina crawl out from underneath the other car.

"Minako!? What's going on?" Katrina trembled as she approached Minako.

One of the ogres caught sight of Katrina and jumped at her. Luckily Minako managed to react faster than both Katrina and the ogre, and knocked her out of the way before the ogre could slice her up. "Katrina! Whew, you're safe. Ogre! I told you not to kill her!" She gasped as she then began to figure out that the ogres didn't care. "You don't care who you hurt. You'll kill anybody you choose, you're not listening to me anymore!"

"This could be going better," Makoto muttered under her breath as she continued to fight the ogres. "Why do I even bother?" She was caught off guard when one of the ogres swiped her arm. She grabbed it in sincere pain, only to comprehend that it didn't hurt at all. She took her hand off where it had attacked to find her arm in mint condition. "It slashed me, and I didn't get hurt. I must have some sort of invincible power of something." She turned back to the ogres, who were still laughing at her. "Hmm, we're both invulnerable, that can only mean...CRAP!! This could take all night!" She began to whine.

"Makoto-kun! Stop your stupid bitching and attack that ogre!" Tsuno demanded from nearby.

"What good is that gonna do?" Makoto griped. "In case you haven't noticed, my rapier has no effect! Wanna see?" She sliced off the head of one ogre. Instantly, it mended back together. "Even a rocket scientist can figure that out!"

Minako was beginning to understand the gist of this whole ordeal. "I'm the one who holds them. I'm their keeper. The Ogre Sailor can't defeat them because...he has to kill me first! I'm the cause of this whole problem! I'm not human anymore!" She wiped away her tears and stood up.

"Minako? What are you doing?" Katrina wondered.

"Sure makes me wish the Sailor of Salvation would show up and help," Makoto thought aloud, then she caught herself. "Wait a sec, that's out of the question."

"Ogre Sailor, stop!" Minako yelled from behind.

"What, you wanna show off once more?" Makoto snapped. "You've already caused enough trouble as it is."

"I know, and there's only one person here who surely deserves death," Minako closed her eyes and brought her hand to her heart. "Me. I control them. You have to kill me in order to kill them."

"I do?" Makoto squinted her eyes in confusion.

"Hey, I say go for it," Tsuno put in.

"But I can't," Makoto whispered into his ear. "Even though she's wrecked half the city and killed hundreds of people, I can't kill her. She's still my best friend (aside from Usagi), and I would never be able to live it down."

"Please, it's the only way," Minako stepped up to her. "I know this may sound stupid, especially at a time like this, but ever since I fantasized about you, I've this incredible crush on you."

"You what?" Makoto gritted her teeth.

"I know we should be mortal enemies, me the ogre and you the killer-"

"Actually, it's the other way around," Tsuno mumbled.

"-but before you kill me, I have to do one last thing, so I can die happy," Minako wrapped her arms around Makoto. Makoto began to blush uncontrollably.

"Please don't do what I think you're gonna do," Makoto gulped.

"You are my ideal man," Minako murmured. With that, she placed her hands on either side of Makoto's face and pulled her stunned, frozen, shocked, etc. face over to her, where their lips met in a passionate (scarring for Makoto) kiss. Once that was done, Minako snatched Makoto's rapier, who leaned froward, in deep shock, perhaps she had fainted. Blood began to trickle from her nose. Minako smiled. "It is done now." She rammed the rapier deep into her flesh. Instantly, the ogres began to crumble, then fell to the ground, then vanished for good. Minako collapsed on the ground.

Katrina, in deep shock, ran over to her side. "Oh my gosh! Minako-chan, speak to me! Please don't be dead!" As she examined the body, she was surprised not to find one speck of blood.

Meanwhile, Tsuno was doing everything he could to snap her from her deep petrified state. "Come on! Snap out of it! It's all over!"

"She-she-she...she kissed me," Makoto stammered in a high-pitched, quivery voice (sort of like Mousse whenever he sees Shampoo). "My best friend kissed me. She thinks I'm a guy." She fainted.

About an hour later, she finally snapped out her daze. Looking at the damage, she sighed as she and Tsuno headed home. She turned around one last time, and was stunned to see Minako and Katrina walking away in the opposite direction. "Tsuno! She's still alive!"

"Of course," Tsuno replied. "You see, you have this powerful aura in you that makes you invincible. When it's activated, you can't get hurt, no matter what. Somehow, when she kissed you, you had some sort of feeling about it, for you managed to transfer your aura over to her, so she wouldn't die when she stabbed herself. You understand?" Makoto nodded.

"I had no idea this business was no gruesome," Makoto stuck out her tongue.

"All the bloody body parts?" Tsuno guessed.

"No, that kiss," Makoto felt her stomach churn. "Now, of you'll excuse me, I think I'm gonna go and hurl my guts out."

"Oh, don't be such a wimp," Tsuno replied in a cocky tone. "Funny, the almighty Ogre Sailor can handle strewn body parts and tones of blood, guts, and gore, but they can't handle a simple kiss."

Makoto cracked her knuckles. "If you were in my shoes right now, then you would understand. I just had no idea how convincing this disguise would be. Either I'm really good at this cross-dressing thing, or these people are very, very stupid." They disappeared into the distance.

Allotment Two: More Ogres!? Makoto-kun's the #1 guy in Japan!

The fresh autumn air welcomed the cool breezes as Ms. Tsukino4 stepped off the bus and headed home. Her obsession with, you know, the dirty deed had subsided, and she was starting to become like a normal mother again. Since Usagi was away at computer camp with Ami (against her will, of course), her mother had decided to get her some welcome home gifts from the downtown museum. This didn't mean that she forgot her son Shingo, so she got him some stuff too. Once the bus had departed, she was faced with the decision: which way home?

"Hmm, here's a no-brainer," She thought aloud. "Should I go down the sidewalk in broad daylight with no chances of getting harmed, or should I take the dark and eerie shortcut, so I can make it home in time to record Sailor V for Usagi?" She weighted out the pros and cons, then nodded. "The shortcut."

Indeed, it was dark and eerie, but Ms. T. felt nonetheless secure, with her trusty pepper spray in hand. After wandering the trail for a good half hour, she began to feel that perhaps this wasn't a good shortcut. She glanced at her watch to see that it was going on nine o'clock now, and Sailor V was beyond over. She felt a rustling behind her, and without looking back, she continued to keep walking.

The sounds behind her were getting closer. She held her pepper spray close to her, just to be safe. Instantly, she jumped as a hand fell on her shoulder. She slowly turned around to see a tall, burly man looking down at her.

"What do you want?" She asked, trying to hide her fearfulness.

"Awfully scary for a woman like you to be out on a night like this," He replied gruffly. He jiggled something in his pocket. "You want I should escort you home?"

"No thank you, sir," She replied. "I'm just fine."

"Aw, I know you're just saying that 'cuz you think I'm not good enough for you," He pulled the object from his pocket. "Perhaps this..." He flipped the object around to reveal a Swiss Army Knife. "...will change your mind."

"What are you going to do?" Ms. Tsukino crept back in slight terror.

"What does it look like?" He stepped up closer. "I'm gonna prove myself worthy to you." He held the knife out at her.

"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!" She screamed, and ran off like hell through the wooded area. Subsequently seeing a neighborhood park in the distance made her fear turn into hope. As she began to slow down, she saw two more guys standing around, smoking some cigarettes. "Please! You've got to help me! There's this man, with a knife, and he's coming after me!" She fell to her knees in despair.

"No he's not," One of the guys dropped his finished drag on the ground and stomped on it. "He was escorting you, to us."

"Uh?" The next thing Ms. Tsukino knew, the guys were on her like a pack of dogs on a three-legged cat (yeah I know, I used this metaphor on DSS, but hey, I think it pretty much sums it up)...

...WHAT'S A PERFECT FANFIC WITHOUT ME, THE FANFIC CENSOR? SURE, ALLOTMENT ONE WAS LEFT WIDE OPEN FOR ME TO CLEAN UP, BUT EVEN I THOUGHT THAT BLOODFEST BY MINAKO WAS COOL. WHELP, CAN'T SAY THE SAME FOR THE FOLLOWING PART. I STILL HAVE SOME MORALS LEFT, AND WRITING ABOUT THE NATURE OF THE PROCEEDING SCENE IS JUST OUT OF THE QUESTION. IF YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS, RENT OGRE SLAYER, WATCH THE SECOND EPISODE (TITLED: OTAKEMARU), AND YOU'LL SEE WHAT I MEAN. YOU'LL ALSO NOTICE THAT I EDITED THE PART WHERE MINAKO COULD'VE GIVEN BIRTH TO THE OGRES, BUT THAT GOES AGAINST MY MORALS TOO. AW, COME ON! ISN'T IT MUCH COOLER IF THE OGRES JUST KEEP HAVING OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCES, MINAKO'S BODY TO BE EXACT? HMM, AM I STARTING TO RAMBLE AGAIN? I REALLY HATE WHEN I DO THAT. SOMETIMES I CAN'T STOP MYSELF AND I KEEP GOING AND GOING AND GOING...FINE! I'LL STOP NOW! SHEESH, PARTY POOPERS! I SUPPOSE YOU WANT ME TO CONTINUE WITH THE STORY NOW, IS THAT IT? GEE, AND I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO END IT, AND WRITE ANOTHER, AND ANOTHER FANFIC. OH WAIT, THAT WAS THE IDEA. I NOW RETURN YOU TO THE FANFIC ALREADY IN PROGRESS...BUT YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME...

All of a sudden, the ground began to rumble. The guys grew scared, thinking it was an earthquake, but were soon proven wrong. Out of the ground emerged a giant red ogre, known as Tekka5. The four of them could not escape its wrath, but rather than slice them into tiny little pieces, it attacked them in a different way...

:(

MINATO-KU BUS DEPOT, THE NEXT MORNING...

"Thank goodness!" Usagi said happily as she stood at the bus station. "No more computer camp! Thanks to Mom getting injured by that ogre, I don't hafta go anymore!"

"Usagi-chan, have a little heart," Luna chided. "Your mother was attacked by an ogre. She's lost her memory, she's still in deep shock. Perhaps you and Ami should look into this."

"No way," Usagi shook her head. "These are ogres, not demons. That's not in my contract. Besides, why should I care about my mother, who has notoriously slept with practically every man on the face of this planet?"

"She's getting better," Luna replied. "I mean, she and I aren't arguing anymore, are we?"

"Look, the only reason why I'm visiting her is because I get out of going to that stupid camp." As they waited for the bus to arrive to take them to the hospital, Usagi caught sight of a handsome young guy on the other side of the station. He was clad in a boy's school uniform, and had a low, long, chestnut brown ponytail, and beautiful green eyes. "Wow," Usagi murmured as she admired the boy. "Who's that hunky guy?" Her eyes turned into little hearts as she sauntered over to the boy.

"Hmm, according to Tsuno there's another ogre in the area," Makoto thought aloud as she waited for the bus to take her downtown. The station was sparsely crowded. About ten feet away she saw Luna washing herself. "Oh crap, it's Luna. I can't let her know it's really me." She turned around, her back to Luna, but unfortunately, she was now face to face with a love-sick Usagi.

"Hello," Usagi greeted in a cheerful voice.

"Yeah, hello," Makoto turned away. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Usagi staring at her. Better turn on my masculine charm, Makoto thought. "Whaddya want?"

"A-are you new in town?" Usagi stammered. "I've never seen you around here before."

"Y-yeah. I'm new all over."

"What's your name?"

"Uh, it's Makoto," Makoto replied. Usagi's eyes widened. Shit, maybe she knows who I am now.

"What a coincidence," Usagi responded. "I have a friend with the same name. Maybe you know her. I'm sure she's already flirted with you. She's flirted with every guy in town, even the school dweebmeister Umino Gurio."

I did not! I was trying to inform him he had something hanging out of his nose! Makoto contradicted to herself.

"Plus, I think I saw her name and phone number posted in the public baths," Usagi continued. "You know Kino Makoto?"

"Heh-heh-heh," Makoto laughed nervously. "She's my, uh, my uh, cousin! Yeah, that's it! My cousin."

"Around here she's known as Make-out Mako," Usagi put in. Makoto turned bright crimson. "I hope you're not like her. You know something? You're awfully cute. If I didn't already have a boyfriend, I'd ask you out."

"Hmm, you're not too shy around total strangers, are you," Makoto crossed her arms over her chest. Usagi shook her head. It was at this time that Luna joined the group.

"Usagi-chan, the bus is coming. We need to hurry before visiting hours are over. We need to get to the bottom of this ogre ordeal," Luna announced. Usagi nodded and followed her to the approaching bus. As Luna trotted off, she turned back and stared at Makoto. "I'm getting some strange, yet familiar vibes from him. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that's Makoto herself in guy's clothing. Perhaps she's...nahh, she would never stoop that low." The two were unaware that Makoto had followed them on the bus and sat in the back.

"So, the ogre is closer than I thought," Makoto thought aloud. "Hmm, maybe if I hurry up and bag that sucker Tsuno won't get so insecure about sending me out alone. I mean, it's not so bad. So far I haven't had to go to the bathroom, so I'm safe."

Meanwhile, up front, Usagi had thoughts of her own. "Ahh, forget Mamoru. I'm gonna marry Makoto-kun!" Maybe she was jumping the gun just a little too soon...

:(

MINATO-KU HOSPITAL, THE PSYCHIATRIC WARD...

"Big...red...big...ogre..." Ms. Tsukino murmured as she sat upright in her bed. Luckily, she wasn't physically scarred from the ogre's attack, but for some strange reason, it had wiped out not only her memory, but her three attackers as well. And when I mean memory, I mean, well, everything the victim ever learned, even the simple things like tying shoe-laces and riding a bike. Shingo felt dejected by all this, and stayed outside and played while his father tried to get some information on all this for a big news story. Mr. Tsukino stood up as he saw Usagi and Luna bound into the waiting room.

"Where is she? Is she alright?" Usagi asked, finally starting to feel concern for her mother.

"You received my E-Mail through Ami's computer at camp about her, right?" He asked. She nodded. "Well, she's made no progress. Neither have the attackers. If only I had more information; this would make one hell of a story, maybe even the front page! I mean, there hasn't been this much excitement about the supernatural since your death and resurrection!"

"Gee, I'm so glad you care so much," Usagi huffed. "But if you try and go out to who-know's-where and dig up some information that's next to impossible to find, seeing that this ogre disappeared after it attacked, what about me and Shingo? We'll have no one to take care of us! Plus, what if the ogre attacks you? Let's face it, you're not the best fighter I know. Remember that Virtual Reality incident? I mean, Makoto's a better fighter than you, and me, and well, anyone else I know...hmm, maybe she's not the best example..."

"I see what you're getting at, honey," He put his hand on her shoulder. "But if I don't do this story, then who will? Who can I trust? Everyone in the media's a bunch of blood-thirsty savages." He began to think, every so often looking down at Usagi's hopeful, you can trust me, daddy, I can do this expression. "Wait a sec. You want to do this for me?"

"How hard could it be?"

"Usagi, this is a very dangerous mission. You could get killed, or even worse!"

"Oh, puleeese. Like I haven't been killed before. All I gotta do is take a bunch of pictures, make up a reasonable story to go with them, and I'm done. Simple as that." She snapped her fingers. "Now, gimme the camera."

"Well, I don't know. Perhaps you should get your friends to go along as well, for protection. I mean, you haven't talked to them in a while. What are they up to anyway? Besides Ami at camp..."

"Well, Rei and I are arguing, as usual. Minako got suspended from school, from what I heard for murdering a bunch of underclassmen, but you know that's just an awful rumor. But Makoto, it seems that every time I call and try to get up with her, she's not home. And she hasn't been in school the past couple of days either. Aw, don't worry, dad, I'll get a good story, don't worry." With the camera and notepad in hand, she darted off, Luna at her heels.

As she exited the building, she heard Shingo yelling in the distance. "What's going on?" She decided to find out.

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm Sailor Moon, the champion of justice6! I can kill twice as many ogres as you in only half the time!" Shingo taunted as he struck Sailor Moon's graceful pose.

"Yeah, whatever, kid," Makoto crossed her arms over her chest. "But can you deliver what you dish out? Those ogres are pretty ruthless and don't give a care who they kill."

"I can handle it." Shingo became curious about the long satchel over Makoto-kun's shoulder. "What's that you got?"

"Oh, this little thing? Nothing much," Makoto slid the satchel off to reveal her rapier. "Just my Ogre Sailor Rapier. It can cut through anything." With that, she jabbed it into the Sailor Moon vending machine doll Shingo had and ripped it from his grasp, the rapier going right through the middle. "See? And it also kills the namby-pamby wussy characters like this one. I encourage to you have a better idol, like Sailor Jupiter. Now there's a nineties role-model." She threw him a self-absorbed smirk.

"STOP!!!" Usagi commanded in the distance. As soon as she was close enough, she was taken aghast. "Oh my, it's Makoto-kun. Do I look alright? Are my meatballs behaving themselves?"

"Oh, so we meet again," Makoto turned around and tossed Shingo his tattered doll from over her shoulder. "Well, I must be going. Remember what I told ya, kid!" She was gone.

"He's just playing hard to get," Usagi teased. "I think I'll send him flowers, sort of as a welcome to Minato-ku gift." She squinted her eyes to get a final glimpse of Makoto. "Man, what a cute ass!"

:(

"So, in order to re-activate Tekka, I hafta get four pendants," Makoto repeated as she and Tsuno stood before Banjin7 Jinja, a shrine in downtown Tokyo. "So where is it?"

"Each of the four pendants are hidden in statues. With your rapier, you gotta slice open the statue and retrieve it. I believe this statue here contains the green one."

"Hmmph, sounds simple enough." With that, Makoto stepped back and swiped the statue clean in half. Sure enough, a pendant resembling half of a yin-yang fell out, right into her hot little hands. "Where to next?"

"Shusui8 Jinja." Once they arrived there, Makoto repeated the procedure. Within seconds, she apprehended the yellow pendant.

"Hmm, this is kinda fun, Tsuno. I hope the owners don't mind us slashing up their priceless statues like this."

"Actually, they don't know we are. So far we haven't been caught."

"Are you saying we're breaking the law!?"

"Hey, what's going on in there?" A husky voice yelled from another room.

"Run away!" Tsuno announced as he and Makoto took off, leaving the slashed-up statue on the floor.

Their next stop was the rustic Koki9 Jinja. It seemed very peaceful, hardly a place for an ogre to strike. Fortunately, the statue with the blue pendant was right in the front, easy for Makoto to cut open. Unfortunately, since it was a nice day, the shrine had many customers. "Crap," Makoto muttered. "Tsuno, how the heck are we gonna be able to get this one? It's totally exposed to the naked eye and everyone would see me cut it open. I need a diversion, something really distracting for the people, enough to buy me some time." She crabbed Tsuno by his collar. "Create a diversion. I won't take long." She flung him into the middle of the crowd.

"What the hell do you want me to do?" Tsuno yelled as he landed on all fours before a group of tourists. "I'm not real good at this ad-lib stuff." He looked up to see the group of tourists, all with faces white as sheets.

"Brandon, did you hear that cat talk?" Daniel turned to his pale friend.

"Sure did. Must be one of them evil demons that they keep talking 'bout." Brandon replied.

"Look! It's got a horn on its head!" Pablo jumped back. "It's an ogre!"

"Last time we ever let you pick the vacation spot, Fraga," Daniel sneered at Pablo.

"Let's get outta here! That cat's evil!" Some other person screamed. During the seconds that followed, the entire shrine had been vacated. Only Makoto and Tsuno remained.

"Cripes, Tsuno, I said distract them, not scare the hell outta them," Makoto commented. "Oh well, whatever works. Hah!" She slashed the statue in two. Sure enough, the blue pendant fell out. "Done. Where to next?"

"Uhh, you got me there," Tsuno scratched his head. "I'm not too sure. Come on, I may have an idea." He trotted off, Makoto following close behind.

:(

"Why are you into ogres all of a sudden?" Naru wrinkled up her nose as Usagi flipped through the books of ogres at the local library. "I never thought I'd see you off all people into gross stuff like this."

"It's not for me, it's for a very important assignment," Usagi replied without looking up.

"I don't remember Miss Haruna giving us an assignment on this."

"It ain't for school, something else. It's kinda hard to explain." She stopped on a page in particular. "Hmm, this one's interesting. Seems to match mom's description, big, red, and it's definitely an ogre."

"So are these," Naru held up another book for her to see. "There's more than one red ogre."

"Shit!" Usagi shoved the book out of the way. "I'll never crack this case! I'll shame my entire family--again!"

"Again!?" Naru repeated. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot the time when you tried to sell the house to a pack of Cubans. I never did get the gist of that."

"International relations, Naru-chan! It was for Social Studies!" Usagi yelled.

"QUIET!" The uptight librarian yelled. "This is a library, not happy hour at a bar! If you do not quiet down, you will have to leave!"

"Gee, seems like Miss Fitch hasn't changed a bit. Still has the disposition of a battle-axe," Naru rested her chin in her hand. "Well, I gotta go. Gotta meet Umino at the arcade. See ya!" She darted off.

"Hey, no running!" Miss Fitch screamed at her, but Naru ignored her. She looked over at Usagi, who was still engrossed by the ogres.

"Wait, I think I found something!" Usagi exclaimed quietly. "Hmm, it says here that the ancient ogre Tekka can only be activated by the four pendants. However, every one-hundred years, it resurrects by itself. And this picture--it has to be him! Big, red, butt-ugly. And here's the location of one of the pendants. Hmm, Gohei10 Jinja in the community of Mikuji-ku11." She looked over at the nearby map. "Wait a second! There's no such place as Mikuji-ku! Or Gohei Jinja! This book is a fix!"

"Tsukino-san! How many times do I have to tell you--no yelling, whining, screaming, etc. in my library!" Miss Fitch roared. Suppose I should go see what her problem is. "Alright, what's the matter, dear?"

"This book lied to me! I'm trying to hunt down an ogre for my father's news story, but the places this book lists are non-existent!"

"Let me see here," Miss Fitch glanced over her shoulder. "What do you mean? Of course there are!"

"Not anywhere on the map there ain't!"

"That's because some idiot changed the names," Miss Fitch replied. "I can't believe you don't know Mikuji-ku. That was Minato-ku's original name! And Gohei Jinja, well, that's Hikawa Jinja, on the outskirts of town! The owner of the temple changed the name. You understand now?" Usagi nodded. "Glad to be of service."

"Thank you," Usagi gave the polite bowed and gathered her things.

"And thank you, Usagi," Makoto whispered to herself as she stood outside the nearby window. Being that it was a warm day the windows were open, and she had heard everything. "Tekka's mine!" She darted off, disregarding Tsuno snoozing in the shade.

:(

Usagi stood at the bus station, waiting for it to take her to Hikawa Jinja. "Hmm, that name just seems so familiar. Where have I heard it before?" As the bus pulled up, she climbed aboard. Usually she sat in the front, but as soon as she saw a familiar face in the back she had to sit by him.

"Hi, Makoto-kun!" Usagi greeted as she plopped down beside Makoto.

"Huh? You again?" Makoto turned bright red and gritted her teeth. I'm beginning to get the feeling that she's stalking me. "Uh, I don't mean to be rude, but don't you have anything better to do?"

"I'll have you know, I'm on a very important mission."

"Try me."

"Well...er, you wouldn't understand," Usagi turned away.

Hmm, I bet her mission is to stalk me, Makoto thought. I gotta lose her, she could get in trouble! She was surprised to fly forward as the bus jerked to a sharp halt.

"ALRIGHT, LAST STOP IN MINATO-KU! NEXT STOP, St. HEBEREKE, RYUGENZAWA, AND BEYOND!" The driver yelled.

"Well, this is my stop," Makoto stood up and hurried off, without even saying good-bye. "There, I ditched her. Finally, I'm alone."

"I wouldn't necessarily say that," a perky voice announced from behind. Makoto cringed as she turned to Usagi. "Whatta coincidence! We're at the same stop! Where are you headed? We could go together!"

"No thanks," Makoto strutted off, rapier over her shoulder. "I work alone." As she started off, she felt Usagi's footsteps behind her.

"You need a companion to brighten your day!" Usagi said happily.

"Um..." Makoto needed a plan, and fast. "Uh--LOOK! AIN'T THAT A CANDY SHOP GOING OUT OF BUSINESS?" She jabbed her finger in a random direction.

"Where!?" Usagi jerked her head around, then ran off. "Don't sell that candy without me!!!" A few feet away, she stopped. "Wait a minute. I know where every candy shop is between here and Bangkok! There isn't one around here!" As she turned back to Makoto, it was much to her surprise to see that her *dreamboat* was gone. "Makoto-kun? Where didja go? Come back here!" Before she got any farther, she remembered her mission. "Oh yeah, Hikawa Jinja. I swear I've heard of that place..." She darted off, towards the temple.

:(

"Whew...I made...it," Usagi panted as she reached the peak of the stairs. "Now I know I've seen this place somewhere before. Maybe it was on a postcard." She jumped back as two crows flocked around her. "Hey, I know you two. Phobos,

Deimos12, right? Wait a sec. There's only one person I know with pet crows. Great Caeser's Ghost, don't tell me I'm at..."

"Oh? Come to bum more manga off me? Forget it!" Rei hollered as she saw Usagi approaching the front steps.

"Rei. I knew this place seemed familiar!" Usagi smacked her fist into the palm of her other hand. "And I'm not here for your manga, although that would be nice..."

"The what the hell are you here for?" Rei crossed her arms over her chest.

"It's kinda hush-hush," Usagi pulled her over. "The ogre. Where is it?"

"Ogre!? What the fuck do you mean? There aren't any ogres here!" Rei slapped her upside the head.

"I am doing some important research. You see, my mother was attacked by one. It wiped out her entire memory capacity. According to legend, there's only one ogre that does that. Its name is Tekka. However, in order to activate it, I need four pendants. I found out that your temple has the red one." Usagi completed her explanation to see Rei's face depicting a very serious expression.

"Yes, I know what you mean now. Follow me," Rei led her around back, to a deserted room. There was dust everywhere. "As you can see, we hardly ever use this room. There, that's the statue with the pendant." She pointed over to the golden maneki-neko13. "But I should warn you. When all four pendants are brought together, Tekka is awakened. And by the vibes I'm getting, someone already has three. Someone so bent on resurrecting this beast, this diabolical demon, and they've made good progress. Once all four pendants are brought together, Tekka is released and his reign of terror begins, and so far, no one has ever stopped him."

"But who would do such a thing?" Usagi asked as she jotted some notes down on the notepad. "What kind of idiot would try to bring back an ogre?"

"Why, another ogre of course," Rei replied.

"Another ogre!? There's more than one?"

"Of course there are, but not as many as there once were. They're like an endangered species, only the world will be better off once they're extinct." Rei gave a grave nod. "Yep, once they're all gone, every last one, not one left behind-"

"I think you made your point long ago," Usagi interrupted.

"Shoosh!" Rei stepped before. "I sense an evil presence. It's the ogre!" Her eyes widened as a figure appeared in the doorway. "Rin, pyou, tou, sha, kai, jin, retsu, sai, zen...AKURYOU TAISAN14!!! Eliminate this evil!" She tossed her parchment at the being, and as the power of Mars took its effect, a field of electricity, fire, and all that other scorching stuff started attacked the being. It screamed in pain. Usagi stepped up closer to it, and gasped.

"REI, STOP THIS INSTANT!" Usagi cried. "It's not an ogre! It's a boy! Makoto-kun!"

"No it's not!" Rei contradicted. "It's the ogre!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"She's...right," Makoto responded weakly from inside the field. "My ancestry is pure ogre, that makes me an ogre as well. But you must stop, you must!"

"You heard him, Rei-chan!" Usagi yelled. "Release him!"

"But he's a fucking ogre!" Rei argued. "He'll kill us if we let him go!"

"I will...not hurt you...I promise," Makoto winced as she crouched down from the pain. The vibes in Rei were going haywire.

For some strange reason, I feel as though I have no choice but to let him go. It's like I know him really well. "Mars...retreat!" The attack stopped. Makoto straightened up and brushed herself off. "Alright, I let you go. Now what do you want?" She placed her hands on her hips.

"Makoto-kun, you're not really an ogre, are you?" Usagi asked nervously.

"'Fraid so. Life's not fair, is it?" She waltzed over to the maneki-neko and readied her rapier.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing? You're gonna wake up Tekka!" Rei warned.

"No freaking duh!" Makoto snapped back. "How else can I kill it? Once it's gone the amnesia cases will be eliminated! Everyone will be normal again. Now stand back, hell, get outta here if you know what's best for you! Leave, now!" She sliced it open. Sure enough, the red pendant was inside. She reached inside her pocket and took out the other three. She placed them together. Once that was done, she tossed the finished object together up in the air, and slashed it into millions of pieces with her rapier. The rubble fell to the ground.

"The hell-? That's it?" Rei huffed. She looked over to see Usagi getting the camera ready. "Usagi-chan! You can't be serious!"

"Sure am! This is gonna make the front page for sure!" Usagi stepped up a little closer.

The ground began to rumble. Rei and Usagi, without thinking before they did it, clung to each other. Makoto tossed back her curly tresses and got ready to fight. A giant red cloud formed before the three, then it vanished. Before them stood the big red ogre known as Tekka. He looked right at Makoto and her rapier.

"Ah, the almighty Ogre Sailor," he boomed. "I have waited for the day to spar with you to the death!" He lashed out at her.

"You have!?" Makoto jumped back. "Woah!" Hmm, this one might actually serve as a challenge, she thought as she defended herself.

"Wow, and he can fight, too! Whatta hunkmeister!" Usagi whooped from far back as she took pictures. "Come on, Rei! Don't you think he looks the least bit attractive?"

"A little," Rei replied. Call me insane, but if I didn't know any better, I'd say that's Mako-chan in a guy's school uniform. Gee, I knew she liked boys, but this? Nah, it's not her. This guy has a waaay better looking butt than her, not that I've been looking. I mean, that's stuff a pervert would do, and I'm not like that. Still... "Gee Usagi, I don't think you should be flirting like that, what with Mamoru as your boyfriend."

"He's not here, so it's perfectly legal," Usagi replied as she flashed some more pictures.

Tekka's attention was caught by Usagi's flashing camera. Makoto was stunned that he had let up his guard. "Ahh, two luscious-looking women! Time to feast!" He lunged at the dumbfounded Rei and Usagi.

"STOP!" Makoto yelled as she jumped at him. He had his left arm outstretched at the two girls, who were frozen with fear. Usagi dropped her camera in stupefaction. With her rapier, she severed his left arm as it fell to the ground. He turned back to see her repel backwards, giving him a raspberry. With his free arm, Tekka swiped it at her, right across the chest area. "Shit!" Makoto yelled as she tried to hold her shirt together. Unfortunately, she forgot to hold her rapier, and gasped as it fell to the ground with a clang! "Oh no, my rapier!" She ran for it, then realized her bound chest was exposed. "Oh no, my body! What to do, what to do..." She held her shirt together as she crouched back.

Tekka noticed that she was without a weapon now, and by some cosmic force, he controlled his detached arm to apprehend it, and it did. Makoto went pale and clenched her teeth. "Time to die, Ogre Sailor!" It thrust the rapier right through her stomach, and it went clean into the back. She fell to the ground.

"MAKOTO-KUN!!! NO!!!" Rei and Usagi yelled in unison.

"He's dead!" Rei screamed.

"And he was so darn cute, too!" Usagi added.

But low and behold, Makoto was far from dead. She managed to gather enough strength to stand on her knees, her hands flat on the floor. Her rapier was still in her. Luckily, her aura was activated, so she hardly felt any pain. Magically, as she looked down, she saw her shirt mend up. "Whew," she murmured. "Almost blew my cover. Now, about this damn rapier..." She stood up. Usagi and Rei's jaws dropped.

"Now he's alive," Rei stammered as she tried to keep her balance.

"Wow, and he's immortal, too!" Usagi cheered. "See? Didn't I tell you he was a hunkmeister?"

"All that did was buy you some time, Tekka," Makoto sneered as she faced him. "And I can see that you haven't used it wisely." She yanked her sword out, covered in blood. But, since her aura was still in full swing, she felt fine. Rei tried to hold her lunch. She hated the sight of blood. "Now, let's fight for real!" Tekka began to laugh at her immensely. "What are you laughing at? What, come on, you can tell me. Aw crap, there's something stuck between my teeth, isn't there?"

"TEKKA FINAL ATTACK!"

"Final...attack!?" Makoto watched as he warped into the samurai armor displayed on the wall. Using his abilities of the ogre, the outfit grew to fight his large stature. Now he was dang near invincible!

"BATTLE ARMOR!"

"Yeah, well, let me be the first to tell you," Makoto jumped at him. "YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING PRICK IN THAT GET-UP!" She hollered as she brought her rapier down on him, slicing him clean down the center of the head. Within moments, he was destroyed. Makoto jumped back and watched the sight.

"Tekka's gone," Rei said in awe. "Forever." She went over to the damaged samurai armor. "But this, it's wrecked! It's been in our family for centuries, since the Jomon period! But...I guess it was worth it."

"Damn," Usagi picked up the totaled camera. "The film's ruined. Oh well, at least the notes are still good." She reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a damp notepad. Who knew she sweated so much when she was scared? "The ink ran! Man, my luck sure stinks! Hmm, maybe I should just rely upon my memory for this. Yeah! That's the ticket! With my infallible memory, I'll still make Dad proud! Now, lemme see, where's that darn hospital?"

:(

"What happened?" Ms. Tsukino finally snapped out of her amnesia trance. She looked to see her ex-husband and Shingo zonked out on the couch next to her bed. "Strange."

:(

"Well, another ogre come and gone," Makoto sighed as she walked home. "And once again, I survive in perfect condition."

"THERE YOU ARE!!!" A voice yelled from behind. She whirled around to see Tsuno standing there, huffing angrily. "I've been all over this twisted city looking for you, and I find you before some stupid shrine! Explain yourself!"

"Ooh, don't we sound miffed," Makoto smirked. "It just so happened I just finished bagging Tekka and connecting the four pendants. You were snoozing in the shade, so I figured it was best not to disturb you. Don't try to reprimand me, I was only doing what you said, kill the ogres, and that's what I did."

"Oh," Tsuno looked down.

"Aw, don't feel dejected. I'm sure there's some left for you to coach me on. Of course, you've been globe-trotting for who-know's-how-long killing hundreds on your own, so perhaps I should go solo now." She watched as his eyes bugged out. "Just kidding! We're a team! Like Mario and Luigi, Abbott and Costello, Sonny and Cher--wait a sec, bad example. But you get my drift, right?" She placed him on her shoulder. "Let's go home. Oh, by the way, where'd you get that awful pink bow?"

"I don't wanna talk about it," Tsuno snorted. "Let's just say to some over-affectionate bubble-head out there I'm known as Mortimer."

:(

After a nice dinner and relaxing evening on the town, Makoto and Tsuno returned home around nine or ten o'clock. As she stuck her key in the lock, she was surprised to find a bouquet of red roses on the doorstep. "The hell are these?" She picked them up. Attached was a tag.

Dear Makoto-kun,

I think you're really nice, and incredibly cute. Please say you'll go out with me sometime. Please?

Your admirer,

Tsukino Usagi (555-6666)

"Something tells me this disguise is working too well," Makoto muttered as she carried the bouquet inside.

Allotment Three: Faster Ami! Kill! Kill!

"Oh, Makoto, got some news for you," Tsuno announced as Makoto entered her apartment after a long day at school.

"I hope it's good news," Makoto sighed as she flopped down on the couch. "Usagi rides again, this time landing not only her, but me and Ami with detention. Ami's mad as hell, she claims she scarred for life. Me on the other hand, well, I heard the counselors talking, and I might end up getting transferred again."

"Oh, it's good," Tsuno replied. "Apparently we've done better at this ogre thing than we thought."

"Whaddya mean?"

"There's only one left," Tsuno completed. "It seems that--Makoto? Makoto? Hey, were didja go?"

"Well, what are you waiting for? Let's go get that sucker!" Makoto hollered from the doorway, clad in her Makoto-kun attire, her rapier over her shoulder.

"Not so fast!" Tsuno motioned for her to come back. "Before I give you the run-down, I need to set the record straight. Can you run fast?"

"Hmm, can I run fast?" Makoto stopped to think. "No one's ever asked me that before. Uh, I guess so."

"Well, it's not fast enough," Tsuno said sharply. "No matter how fast you are, you're no match for Ja'aku15."

"Ja-what?"

"Ja'aku. Not known for being a great threat, but undoubtedly the fastest ogre of all. It can get up to speeds of about half the speed of light, 93,000 miles a second. Unfortunately, in order to completely wipe it out, you gotta somehow beat it."

"How? Nothing's that fast."

"Actually, I have no idea. I suppose you can think of something, you're smart." Tsuno looked up at her slightly perturbed expression.

"Then I guess the ogres won't be taken care completely," Makoto sighed.

"Wait a minute! I almost forgot! Ja'aku thrives on human beings. It possesses people for a living. Whoever gets possessed by it becomes evil. The only way to exorcise it is to whack the victim in the back," Tsuno explained. "From the vibes I've been getting, it appears to be in the area. That's where you snap into action."

"Oh, so I hafta go around town smacking people in the back for no reason? Is there any identification?"

"They will have tiny ogre horns on their head," Tsuno replied.

"Well, then I'm off. Might as well get started now on the wild goose chase," Makoto closed the door and walked off.

"Good luck, Ogre Sailor," Tsuno murmured. "Man, she's gonna need it."

:(

Makoto reached Hikawa Jinja about a half hour later. Apparently she had made the awful mistake of whacking an innocent green-haired girl in a tiger-striped bikini on the way there. Funny, she thought, she seemed like the possessed type. It was much to her surprise to see groups of people leaving the temple in total rage, but why?

"I hope that temple girl gets a good kick in the rear," an elderly woman snorted.

"I'd be better off going to Dr. Tofu's with Kasumi there," a pig-tailed boy ranted. A girl with a long brown pony-tail was at his heels.

"You're right, Ran-chan," she replied sweetly. "Of all the nerve, she put a frigging hex on us!" She stopped and glared at Makoto (as Makoto-kun). "Hmmph. Amateur." She walked off.

"Could they be talking about Rei?" Makoto wondered as she continued to climb the stone steps. "Geez, these stairs seem to get more tiring every day! What are there, a hundred of them now?"

"How dare she curse me? I'm a monk for pete's sake!" a midget-sized monk with a rice hat sneered as he walked away in the opposite direction.

Makoto got to the top, and stood stunned. People were outraged left and right, many walking away. Parchment was strewn everywhere. Phobos and Deimos were going berserk.

"REI-CHAN!" Usagi whined. "Why did you go and do that? I don't wanna be cursed!"

"Serves you right, Usagi," Ami said angrily. "I'll never forgive you for this! How will I ever face my mother?"

"Oh, just say you had a gifted class or something," Minako replied sympathetically. "At least you're not being suspended. Like they're gonna really prove I killed all those underclassmen. They don't have any evidence."

"Hmm, I can't tell from here if she's possessed or not," Makoto began to ponder her plan. "There's only one way. Um, excuse me! Temple girl! I would like my fortune told." No matter what type of get-up I'm in, Rei has never failed in giving me good luck and fortune. If for some reason, that's irrelevant right now, well, can't say I didn't consider it.

"Good luck, boy," a college student said as he walked by. "See you in the poorhouse!" Makoto's eyes widened as she saw the two horns atop Rei's head.

"YOU'RE GOING TO HELL!" Rei yelled wickedly as she approached Makoto. "I ONLY SEE CRUEL AND AWFUL THINGS IN YOUR FUTURE!!!"

"Oh, puleeese," Makoto sighed in annoyance. Tsuno was right about Ja'aku being a simple ogre. "Could you stand still for a second?"

"NEVER!" Rei screamed. "I call upon the powers of the great Cornholio to vanquish this virtue!" She whipped out her parchment.

"Bee on your back!" Makoto yelled as she slammed her hands on Rei's back as fast as she could. Instantly, a good-sized spark flew from her body and off into the distance. Makoto gaped at its speed. "Shit! That thing was fast! I'll never be able to catch it!"

"Huh?" Rei stood up after being knocked down. "What happened? The Ogre Sailor! What brings you here?"

"Call of duty," Makoto replied in her mock-masculine voice. "When the ogres attack, I gotta fight back. It's my job, and I'm damn good at it."

"Oh my, Makoto-kun!" Usagi blushed. "He must've come here to thank me for those roses!"

"No he's not!" Minako shoved her over. "He's coming back to say what a great kisser I am."

"You kissed him?"

"Sure did. 'Course, he did need some improvement. Not enough emotion and expression."

"Hmm, he seems a little attractive," Ami looked up from her book. "Hmm, adolescence was certainly good to him. Such a firm, solid stature. Maybe he's on the basketball or baseball team."

At that moment, Rei joined them, with a look of shame on her face. "Well, looks like my reputation's killed again. Grandpa's gonna blow a gasket about this. Good thing you guys haven't done anything so horrifying that you don't have the urge to move out of town and become a nun. I know I do."

"Oh, cheer up," Minako said in a perky voice. "This will all blow over eventually."

"Omigosh!" Usagi jumped up. "Makoto-kun's coming over here! Be still my heart!"

"He must be coming to declare his love for one of us," Rei replied. "Well, it's no contest. He loves me."

"Why you?"

"Did you see the way he was looking at me during that battle against Tekka? That was definitely flirting."

"Hmm, I wonder where Mako-chan's been all this time," Ami said with concern. "It's not like her to be absent, especially when there's such a cute guy here."

What in the hell are they babbling about? Makoto wondered as she approached them. I'll go after Ja'aku later, first I gotta clear some things up, like my true identity. "Afternoon, girls."

"Good afternoon, Makoto-kun," Minako, Rei, and Usagi replied in coquettish voices.

"Look, I haven't been totally honest with you guys," Makoto glared at them. "There's something you gotta know about me."

"You wanna go steady with one of us?" Usagi guessed.

"Your dying wish is another kiss from me?" Minako tried. "Don't tell me you forgot that blessed event."

"No. I assume you all know my *cousin* Kino Makoto?" They all nodded.

"Where is she?" Ami asked. "Is she feeling alright? She's missed an awful lot of days, and she's not here right now."

"And there's a good reason why," Makoto replied. "You see, um, well, er, my body, my soul, are all hers."

"Cripes!" Rei jumped back. "Ew, gawd! That's incest!"

"No-no-no! Let me rephrase it another way," Makoto turned crimson. "We are of one body and one soul."

"Huh?" Minako was clueless, as usual.

"Alright, guess I'll hafta spell it out for you," Makoto took a deep breath, then ripped her shirt open. Exposed to the four was her bound-down chest. All four went deathly pale. "I was in disguise! Makoto-kun doesn't exist! It's me, Kino Makoto, in the flesh!"

"Oh, Makoto..." Ami winced. "You're cross-dressing. And you did a good job, nonetheless!"

"It wasn't cross-dressing!" Makoto shot back. "I had to do it, but it's kinda hard to explain."

"Hey, I don't want to know," Ami waved her hands. "What you do in your spare time is your own business."

"I said you were cute," Rei narrowed her eyes at Makoto. "I can't believe I hit on you! Now I'm definitely gonna be nun!" She forced back her tears.

"I sent you a bouquet of roses, and gave you my number," Usagi tried relentlessly to hold back her sobs. "I had a massive crush on you! I two-timed Mamoru, for you! For you!" She let out her water-works.

Now for Minako. Boy, was she in deep. "Then that means...I, I, I, ku, ku, kiss, kiss, k-kissed you," she was as white as a sheet. "I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK!" She held her mouth and made a run for Rei's bathroom.

"Hmm, she took it better than I thought," Makoto muttered.

"You kissed Minako?" Rei repeated. "As in lip-locked, tonsil hockey?"

"No! I tried to get out of it, but she pulled me over before I could get loose!" Makoto responded hastily. "You think I enjoyed it? Thanks to her I was physically ill for about a week!"

Minako stumbled back out. She glanced at Makoto and shivered. "Okay, now that we're releasing our inner secrets, may I be the first to say you can't kiss worth shit!"

"Well you weren't exactly my idea of a dream date either!" Makoto shot back. "And what about that tongue action? You had your tongue in my mouth!" Three pairs of shocked eyes were back on Minako.

"It's called a French Kiss," Minako retorted.

"Hmm, I suppose you all wanna know why I was in the get-up?" Makoto prompted.

"I'm not listening," Ami held her hands over her ears.

"Oh stop! I'm not like that!" Makoto thundered. "Let's level here. Ami, you and Usagi are Devil Sailors, right? And Rei, you're the notorious Vampire Sailor, right?"

"More or less," Rei replied in a cheeky tone.

"And, ugh, Minako, you're the Sailor of Flirtation," Makoto teased.

"That's Salvation, you insensitive jerk!"

"Okay, so that leaves me with nothing, right? Well, wouldn't you know that I got my destiny all planned out for me-"

"Same here," Usagi replied. "And I got more than one destiny, too."

"-actually, mine's kinda different. You see, according to my guardian, Tsuno, I'm not a human at all, but an ogre, pure ogre."

"Gee, it's amazing what they can do with plastic surgery these days," Minako replied.

"I'm not an ogre-ogre, I was born in human form to an ogre mother!"

"As a boy or as a girl?"

"As a girl, you jackass! At least I can tell the difference!" Makoto yelled.

"Uhh, then perhaps this isn't a good time to tell you about that Haruka over at Mugen Gakuen..." Ami trailed off.

"Apparently, when I entered this atmosphere and was born again, as we all were, some of my fellow ogres fell in here as well. Now I gotta dispose of them all. I only have one left, but it's very fast, very difficult to catch. It has this habit of possessing innocent bystanders, although, by Minako's standards, it may serve as an improvement."

"Shaddup! At least I don't kiss like a cold fish!"

Now Makoto was pushed over the limit. "Why you! You couldn't keep your hands off me, you slut!"

"Womanizer!"

"Hussy!"

"Cross-dresser!"

"Bitch!"

"At least I can get a date without dressing up like a boy!"

"Oh, then what about that rendezvous with Hades a while back?"

"That doesn't count!" Minako narrowed her eyes. "You know, you should stay in your guy form. You've got the figure for it!"

"I don't know, perhaps you should be the one who goes into disguise, I don't have the entire police department breathing down my neck."

"I didn't do it, dammit!"

"That's not what Carrie, Angela, Emily, Renee, and Katrina think," Makoto huffed. Minako stopped. She needed a good comeback.

"Simpleton!"

"Ooh, big word for someone with a bra size bigger than her IQ!" Makoto shot back. The two continued to quarrel.

"I'm going home," Ami started off. "They're almost as bad as you two."

"I'm going too," Usagi added. "I need to go see Mamoru. Thank goodness he doesn't know about this yet, and I'm gonna see to it that it remains that way."

Rei watched them off, as she swept the front steps. "Hmm, an ogre that possess people. Kinda interesting. That must've been what got me earlier, and turned me into that psycho." She looked back at Minako and Makoto, who were on the verge of ripping each other apart. "Sheesh, and she's our almighty Ogre Sailor. Great."

:(

"I hope Mako-chan bags that ogre before it causes some serious damage," Usagi said as she walked down the sidewalk. "I wonder what it's like to be possessed. She said it turns the person immediately to evil, so I guess it's pretty bad."

She stopped suddenly when she heard someone yell in the background. She whirled around to see Motoki lying on the ground, the display sign on top of him. She saw a lightning-fast spark emit from his body, soaring at Usagi at break-neck speed. "It's the ogre! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" She tore down the street. Ja'aku gave chase. It was its luck that she disregarded the tree on the sidewalk, which she ran right into. As she slowly staggered to her feet, Ja'aku jumped in her. Now she was under the evil influence. "Ahh, I almost forgot. I must go see Mamoru-san now." She gave an evil sneer as she quickly walked down the sidewalk, the two horns poking out of her head.

:(

After a tiring day at work, Mamoru decided to take a shower and relax. As he turned the water on, he removed his clothes and threw them outside in the hamper. Once that was done, he got in the shower.

At this moment, Usagi threw open his door. "Where is he?" She heard the water running in the bathroom. Steam rose from underneath. "Here I come." She stormed over to the door and jiggled the handle. Locked!

"Hey, who's there?" Mamoru asked. "Usako! I'm kinda busy. I'm in the shower."

"I don't mind," Usagi sneered as she ripped the door from its hinges. She gave a bashful gasp as she was face to face with an au naturel Mamoru, who held a nearby bucket over his, um, family jewels16. "Oh my, did I come at a bad time?" She asked with deep sarcasm.

"USAKO!!!" Mamoru screamed. He gritted his teeth angrily. "I'm kinda in the middle of something! Leave, now!" It was at this moment that he noticed the door was on the verge of falling on Usagi. "Usagi! Get outta the way! The door!"

"Eh?" Usagi turned around just the door collapsed on her, square in the back. Ja'aku flew out the window, heading for its next victim, no less. Now that she had been *exorcised,* she looked up at Mamoru in deep stupefaction. "MAMORU-SAN!!! This is so sudden!"

"Would you please get out while bathe? I know we're a couple and everything, but this is just jumping the gun, ain't it?" Mamoru shoved her outside, carefully making sure he wasn't exposing too much.

"How did I wind up here?" Usagi wondered as she stood in the living room. She blushed with deep embarrassment. "I can't believe I did that! Oh, he'll never forgive me for that! I feel so, so, dirty!" She buried her face in her sleeve as she hurried home.

:(

"I'll never be able to face Mamoru again!" Usagi wailed as she slammed the door behind her. "I think I'll go join Rei at the convent."

"Usagi-chan!" a shrill voice yelled from the top of the stairs. "Hurry up and transform! There's big trouble, I can sense it! The Negaverse has returned!"

"It has!?" Usagi cringed. "Alright! MOON PRISM POWER, MAKE-UP!!!" At last she finished. "Gee, it's been a while since I've been Sailor Moon!"

"Follow me!" Luna led her down the street, right downtown.

:(

"So why are we here, in Sailor form no less?" Minako asked as she looked around. "I don't see any evil, do you, Ami?"

"This is definitely odd," Ami replied as she used her goggles to scan the area, and her computer to gather data. "The place seems fine. How about you, Rei? Any strange vibes?"

"None," Rei responded. "Why the heck did Luna drag us out here anyway?"

"She seemed really serious about it," Usagi answered. "But she'd never lie to us!"

"Indeed, this isn't like Luna to do this," Makoto thought. "Yo, Tsuno! You think it's Ja'aku?" He shrugged.

"WHY HAVEN'T YOU ATTACKED IT YET???" Luna yelled in anticipation.

"Attacked what? There's nothing to attack!" Usagi whined.

"Sailor Moon's right," Ami replied. "I've scanned the entire district numerous times, and I've found nothing!"

"Because you're not looking hard enough!" Luna contradicted. "Sailor Mars! Your fire! Use it! Hurry!"

"But, but, but," Rei stuttered. "Hmmph, alright, whatever you say, oh great leader. FIRE SOUL!" The group watched as it toasted some bushes in Juuban Park. "Are you happy? Nothing!"

"Then we need more power," Luna turned to Minako and Makoto. "Jupiter! Venus! Your powers! Now!"

"But we'll be destroying public property!" Minako countered. "Our reputations as superheroes will be ruined!" She must be in denial after Artemis ran off like that17, she thought. "Oh well, at least I still got my Sailor V persona," Minako sighed. "Crescent Beam!" Her mighty beam took out a few swings in the playground.

"I bet Luna's possessed now," Makoto thought aloud. She nodded when she saw the horns on her head. "Yep, I'd hafta agree with Luna, you guys. There's definitely something evil around here."

"There is!?" Rei repeated. "But Mercury can't find squat! I can't sense anything!"

"How can you find it?" Ami asked. "We've got state of the art technology, and we can't find it!"

"That's because you're not looking in the right place," Makoto poised her hands at Luna. "Luna, this is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you, so hang in there! SUPREME THUNDER!!!" Unaware of the effect of the blast, Luna was slammed right into the nearby streetlamp. Ja'aku shot out of her, and into the distance.

"She was possessed?" Ami picked up the fried cat and slung her over her shoulder. "Poor Luna. She was trying to put us in a false sense of security."

"Hey, you guys! I found it!" Usagi yelled in the distance. "I found the evil monster!"

"Sailor Moon! That's Richard Simmonds!" Minako hollered. "Put him down!"

"Actually, he is kinda evil," Makoto replied.

"Get him!" Ami demanded.

"This is what you get for sweating into the oldies, pal!" Rei slammed her fists into his back.

"SHABAN SPRAY!" Ami yelled as she let loose her attack.

"He's still alive! Kick him, kick him!" Usagi squealed. "We gotta make Luna proud!"

:(

The next afternoon, like most others, the girls arrived at the temple. Usagi was late, as usual, and tried to make up a good excuse.

"Sure, Usagi," Rei rested against her broom. "The manga store burnt down and you had to salvage the Sailor V manga before it got toasted." She threw her a look of disbelief.

"Hey, as long as the Sailor V stuff was saved," Minako replied with an oblivious expression.

"Wasn't that your excuse last week?" Makoto tried.

"Hey, I wonder where Ami is," Luna looked around. "It's not like her to be late. Usagi-chan, does she have any classes after school?"

"Like I'd know," Usagi answered. "She wasn't in school either." Makoto nodded.

"Is she sick?" Rei asked.

At that moment, the girls looked up to see Mamoru running up the stairs. "Afternoon, girls."

"Hey, Mamoru. What's up?" Minako asked.

"Nothing much," Mamoru replied as he threw his knapsack down. "I just came up with the money-making idea of the century."

"Like what?" Usagi wondered.

"Well, seeing that my Tuxedo Kamen persona's been such a hit with the media lately, and well, since I did a little bit of magic back in my high-school days, I figured, perhaps I should start taking my magic act on the road. You know, I'd perform for birthday parties, bat mitzvah, that kind of stuff, good way to make money," he explained.

"Uhh...yeah," Makoto replied. "Whatever you say. What are ya gonna do, pull an usagi out of the hat? Make a bunch of roses appear out of mid-air?"

"All that and more," Mamoru replied. He looked around. "Oh, Ami's not here."

"Yeah, have you seen her? It seems so weird for her of all people to be late," Luna wondered.

"It just so happens I did," Mamoru responded. "At the mall today."

"At the mall!?" The girls jumped. "You mean she cut school!?"

"I didn't even know she knew where it was," Usagi joked.

"What was she doing there?" Minako asked.

"Impending acts of evil," Mamoru began in a sinister voice. "Like, at the video store, I saw her returning tapes without rewinding them."

"Ooh, big crime!" Rei said in mock terror. "What are they gonna do, take away her library card? Fifty lashes with a wet noodle?"

"Then, on the escalator, she didn't hold onto the railings," Mamoru continued.

"Isn't that like, automatic death sentence?" Usagi wondered, also in mock terror.

"But when I passed Weird Al's Mattress Hut, I saw the epitome of evil. She was ripping the tags off the mattresses!" Mamoru finished with concern.

"You don't mean the ones that say do not remove on them, right?" Minako gasped.

"Yep, them."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!" Usagi, Rei, and Minako screamed. "She's a criminal!" They burst out laughing. "Good one, Mamoru!"

"Come off it, where was she really? She's out sick, right?" Usagi said between laughs.

"No, I mean it, I swear," Mamoru replied somberly. "Cross my heart and hope to die."

"Stick a needle in your eye?" Rei added.

"I would say Ja'aku's gotten to her, but then, that doesn't seem right," Makoto rested her chin in her hand.

"If she's possessed, you gotta hit her, right? Or hope something falls on her?" Rei interrogated.

"Well, that all depends on if she's evil," Makoto replied. "I can't hit her if she's not possessed."

"Actually, it's a lot more complicated than that," Tsuno popped up from behind.

"Huh? Whaddya mean?" Makoto jumped back.

"Just because the victim has the horns on their head doesn't make them evil," Tsuno explained. "It's when their eyes glaze over is when they're vulnerable to be hit. This is when the evil influence is strongest. Other times, they seem perfectly normal. You gotta be careful, and you gotta be alert. Luckily, when you hit Rei, her eyes had glazed over, signing that she was about to do something wrong. When the door fell on Usagi, she had her eyes glazed, am I right, Mamoru?" He nodded. "And when you blasted Luna into the post, she was about to go berserk again. You can't hit Ami (that is, if she's possessed) unless her eyes are glazed over, otherwise, it'll have no effect."

"For all we know, she could've bumped into something to trigger Ja'aku out of her system," Minako sighed.

"Hi, guys!" A perky, high-pitched voice announced from the top of the stairs. "I'm sorry I'm late. I had to run some errands."

Everyone's eyes turned to Ami. Nothing different about her, as they slowly looked up at her. It wasn't until they got to her head that they noticed it.

"Speak of the devil," Tsuno muttered.

"Ami's possessed!" Luna murmured.

"Well, what are you waiting for, Mako-chan?" Usagi shoved her forward. "Go ahead and hit her!" She pushed her up against Ami.

"Huh? What did she say?" Ami asked. She looked perfectly fine, with the exception of the horns on her head.

"Ehh..." Makoto trailed off nervously.

"Um, what she really said was, go ahead and sit her! Yeah, that's it!" Rei recovered hastily. "Come on, Makoto! Where are your manners? Can't you see she needs to sit down and relax?"

"Huh? Oh, oh, oh yeah! Stupid me!" Makoto smacked herself on the forehead. "Come on, Ami-chan. Have a seat." The others moved over as Ami sat down on the steps.

"Say, what's that sticking out of your bag, Usagi-chan?" Ami wondered as she pulled on the material.

"Oh, this? Um, it's Shingo's school shirt," Usagi took it out to reveal a huge tear in the back. "Makoto, I was meaning to show this to you. You see, Shingo has a concert tonight at school, and Mother can't sew. Could you mend this rip in the back for me?"

"This? No problem," Makoto examined it. "Hey, Rei-chan, you got a sewing machine?"

"Uh-huh, it's in the back," Rei replied. As Makoto got up to go mend the shirt, Ami snatched it from her grasp.

"Here, let me," Ami said sweetly.

"Heh-heh-heh, Ami, I didn't know you could sew," Minako laughed nervously.

"Hidden talent," Ami replied as she took the shirt and headed into the back.

"Shouldn't one of us follow?" Usagi wondered. "She might damage it. It's Shingo's only formal shirt."

"Oh, what harm could she do?" Minako reassured. "Her eyes weren't glazed."

:(

But alas, poor Minako was wrong, for as soon as Ami set the shirt down next to the sewing machine, her eyes glazed over. "Don't worry, Usagi-chan, this shirt will be as good as new." In no time at all, she was done. Over the hole she mended a little tag. It was in really small letters, but large enough to be read by the naked eye. It read: My sister is really Sailor Moon. If Shingo were to see this, he would be devastated, for he idolized Sailor Moon, but despised his sister Usagi. She came back into the main room, where the girls were all huddled around a bag. "I finished the shirt. Here you go, Usagi." She turned back to normal.

"Stop!" Tsuno gnawed on the sleeve, and ripped it from her grasp. "Don't you dare."

"Tsuno, let go of the shirt," Makoto tried to pry him off, but it was no use. Tsuno, shirt in mouth, tore out of the room. Rei, Makoto and Usagi gave chase.

"Not in the pond!" Rei shrieked as Tsuno tossed the bundled-up shirt into the pond, drenching it completely.

"It's ruined!" Usagi began to wring out the excess water out.

"Tsuno, why the hell didja do that!?" Makoto shook him vigorously.

"Because it was Ami who had ruined it in the first place! On the tag she mended over the hole had something that could not only ruin Usagi, but Shingo himself! I couldn't let it fall into the wrong hands," Tsuno explained. "Supposedly when she began to sew it, her eyes had glazed over, and you know what that means."

"Hoo boy, is Shingo gonna blow a gasket about this," Usagi mumbled as she tried to de-wrinkle the shirt, but to no avail.

Once back inside, the group found Ami curiously going through the bag. "So, when Mamoru suddenly left in a hurry, he forgot to take his bag of tricks?"

"As it seems," Minako replied. "Usagi said she'll drop them off on her way home."

"Look! Hand-cuffs! I've always wondered how these worked in the scheme of magic," Ami held them up.

"Oh, it's simple," Usagi slapped one of the cuffs on her wrist. "When two people are cuffed together, the magician says abracadabra and they magically come undone. Gimme your wrist, Minako. I'll show you how it's done."

"Huh?" Before Minako could say anything, Ami grabbed both their wrists, and slammed the cuffs over them. She ripped the key out and tossed it outside.

"Ami! You just botched the whole trick!" Luna reprimanded. "That was the only key that could unlock the cuffs!" She glared at Ami's eyes, which had glazed over, but were normal now.

Rei began to wrestle with the cuffs. "Uhh, abracadabra!" Nothing. "Rats! Looks like you two are stuck together."

"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Usagi and Minako screamed.

"Hey, don't worry! I'll go look for it with my metal detector," Rei picked up the long mechanism and hurried outside.

"I'll help," Ami offered as she followed.

"You girls gotta be careful," Tsuno warned. "You may not notice it, but as harmless and *accidental* as Ami's deeds seem, it's actually Ja'aku's evil doing. Apparently making Ami evil is more challenging than it bargained for, therefore, her *sinful* acts are well, not as evil as we thought. But you never know, eventually she may snap, meaning Ja'aku finally has control."

"Well, one of us has got to whack that ogre out," Minako said. "But who?"

"Me, duh!" Makoto replied as she jerked on the cuffs. "I'm the Ogre Sailor, it's my job!"

"But Makoto," Usagi said in serious tone. "You don't know what you're doing. As *evil* as she may seem, good or bad, Ami's always gonna be sweet and kind. It's her nature."

"What exactly are you trying to say, Usagi?" Luna asked.

"I'm saying, despite her deeds of wrongfulness, no one in their right mind would dare hit Ami, unless they had a damn good reason," Usagi finished. "Makoto, if you were to go out there and smack her, your reputation would be screwed for life."

"Hmm, she's right," Minako responded. "So, what's your excuse gonna be for hitting Ami?"

"I, I, I don't know," Makoto looked down. "I never really thought of that. I mean, who are we kidding, Ami'll never reach the epitome of total sinfulness."

"EEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" A shrill voice screamed from outside.

"That sounded like Rei!" Minako, Makoto, Luna, and Usagi screamed in unison.

"Ja'aku!" Tsuno burst outside. Minako and Usagi tried to follow, but couldn't make much progress while cuffed together.

"Um, Mako-chan?" Minako put on a sweet smile. "We're kinda stuck."

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot. HYAH!" She karate-chopped the cuffs clean in two. "Come on!"

The group was stunned by the sight. Looming right over the peak of the stairs was Ami, with her fist grabbing Rei's collar. If she were to let go, Rei would end up crashing down the long, stone-solid flight of stairs.

"Ami!" Usagi yelled.

"Huh?" Ami switched back to normal for a split second. "Oh no, I think I'm about to do something evil."

"Let her go this instant!" Luna commanded.

"If you insist," Ami sneered as she quickly released her grip on Rei.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Everyone watched in horror as Rei fell down the stairs at break-neck speed. She tried to gain control, but she had lost all feeling. Within seconds, she was face-down on the sidewalk below, blood seeping from numerous places.

Minako was the first to snap out of shock. "REI!" She ran down the stairs, and began to help her ailing friend. "USAGI-CHAN!!! CALL FOR AN AMBULANCE, NOW!!!" Usagi nodded, and along with Luna, ran inside to call for help. Minako tried to support Rei's bloody head. "It's going to be okay, Rei, we're gonna save you. Ami did it, probably under Ja'aku's influence."

"Minako..." Rei moaned as she shifted in and out of consciousness. Her eyes began to flutter. "...the ogre did it...not Ami...she would never..." her head tilted over. She was now officially unconsciousness, bigtime.

Makoto was still in shock. Tsuno did say something about the possibility of Ja'aku gaining full control, which it just had. She slowly raised her hand, and her rapier appeared out of thin air. Ami was frozen in her steps, although it was unknown if she had glazed again or not.

"I don't care anymore," Makoto clenched her left fist in anger. "She's gone over the edge this time. Screw the rules--AMI, YOU'RE GOING DOWN!!!" She pulled back her hand, then pounded it into Ami's back as hard as she could. Ami almost lost her footing, and unfortunately, her eyes weren't glazed.

Evidently, Ja'aku wasn't ready to leave her body. When it realized that it was suddenly out though, rather than fly off for another victim, it took its natural form, as a giant beast. Ami collapsed on the ground, as though her energy had been drained. Makoto ripped off her dress, to magically reveal her Makoto-kun attire.

"You're the only thing that stands in the way of this being an ogre-free planet," Makoto growled as she lashed out at Ja'aku.

"But Makoto, you're an ogre too," Tsuno pointed out.

"No one has to know!" To Makoto, the fight seemed waaay to easy. Ja'aku produced no challenge at all, and didn't even try to defend itself as Makoto slashed it right in two. It was gone forever. "Done! Wow, it really was easy! Like fighting Usagi!"

"Ohhhh," Ami rubbed her head in confusion. She looked up as Makoto-kun glared down at her. Somehow, when Ami was whacked by Makoto, strangely enough, it triggered her to lose a tad of her memory. Conspicuously, it was the part about Makoto-kun. She glared at Makoto as though she had never seen her in male guise before. "Who are you?"

"Huh?" Makoto stepped back as Ami slowly got to her feet. "I am Makoto-kun, the Ogre Sailor."

"Ogre Sailor...?"

"Um, yes, I fight ogres," Makoto turned to Tsuno. "What's with her?"

"Guess she forgot about you, that's all."

"Oh," Makoto put on a gravely serious face and placed her hand on Ami's shoulder. "Mizuno Ami, go home now. I sense your presence will be requested at Minato-ku Hospital tomorrow morning, give or take." Ami nodded uneasily and left. Makoto watched her off, glancing down at the spot where Rei had laid. Apparently, the ambulance had come and taken her off, and Minako and Usagi went along for the ride. Once she was out of sight, Makoto put back on her dress and bolted off for the hospital. "Oh, Rei....!"

:(

Rest assured, Rei is alright. With the exception of her right arm and left leg in casts, her neck in brace, for starters. A bandage was wrapped around her head for the head injury. The doctors were planning on inserting a metal rod in her spine, for it had been twisted and bruised in the fall. After the lengthy operation, she rested quietly. Minako, as a candy-striper (see VSR), made periodic visits while Makoto and Usagi signed her casts. Luna made a small paw-print on them as her specific signature.

"Usagi, hey, I'm talking to you!" Makoto smacked her in the back of the head. Usagi turned to her; she had bags under her blood-shot eyes. "Hey, you don't look so good. You need to go home and rest."

"Rest? What makes you say that, Miss H?" Usagi replied in a dazed voice as she slumped over on top of Makoto, sound asleep.

"Crud," Makoto lifted her over her shoulder. "Well, I'd best be going. Hope you get better, Rei-chan." She waved good-bye as she left the room. Rei weakly waved bye with her free hand.

It was about eleven when Ami finally arrived. Still unaware of what she did, she was bewildered by the sight of Rei's state. "Rei-chan! What on Earth happened to you?" She asked urgently.

"Oh, just fell down the front stairs, that's all," Rei managed a weak smile. "Don't worry, I'm not paralyzed or anything, but hey, I'll be outta school for the next month!" She effortlessly stuck out her tongue. "Yuuichirou has to go in my place!"

"What kind of demonic being would do this to you?" Ami pleaded with despair.

Rei glared at her. It was by Ami's hands, but by Ja'aku's soul that caused her to do it, so technically, Ami wasn't at fault. "An ogre."

"An ogre?" Ami thought back to meeting Ogre Sailor the day before. "Then Makoto-kun will defeat it." Ami remarked as she signed the casts. "Please take care, Rei-chan. May the Lord be with you in getting better." She departed.

About five minutes later, Minako came back into the room. "I just saw Ami leave. She must've come and visited you, right?" Rei nodded. "Did you tell her the truth."

"In a way," Rei replied as she yawned. She began to drift off. "Ja'aku did it."

The end...

...this is your Fanfic Censor, signing off.

Makoto, Minako, Usagi, Naru, Ami, Luna, Artemis, and the Minato-ku community

(c)1996 Naoko Takeuchi/Kodansha/Toei Animation

Lum, Cherry (the monk), Ranma, and Ukyo

(c)1996 Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan/Kitty Films

Richard Simmonds is a fictitious person, and the incidents he faced in this story were true. Wait a minute, reverse that.

The Clowns from "Akira" (c)1996 Katsuhiro Otomo

Ken-chan and Cato-chan is an actual TV show in Japan (it's kinda like "America's Funniest Home Videos."). They are under their respective copyrights.

Tsuno, Youma Junior High, Makoto-kun, Sailor of Salvation, and the Ogre Sailor bit in general (c)1996 Jamie Godley/Anivision/WHAU

The following people are real: Katrina Odette, Emily Berg, Angela Harrison, Renee Starling, Jen Starling, Karen Symonds, Carrie Godley, Heather Bozarth, Maureen Keklock, Kristen Zigrang, Tracy Phelps, Joe Dill, Matt Liffick, Brian Honeycutt, Daniel Taraschke, Pablo Fraga, Brandon Nelson, Linette Fitch, and of course, Jamie Godley. The violence in this fanfic was fictional and should not be inflicted upon others in real life. No harm was meant to them in reality in any way, shape, or form. Jamie will not be held responsible if any of them wish to kick her @$$ later on. This has been a public service message.

Allotments one and two of "Ogre Sailor Makoto" are based upon the two episodes in "Ogre Slayer" (c)1996 Kei Kusunoki/Shogakukan/KSS/TBS. Allotment three is a parody/spin-off of "Faster Kasumi! Kill! Kill!" An OAV of Ranma 1/2 (c)1996 Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan/Kitty Films.

Oh crap, I forgot to put Umino in the story!

1I believe this is Japanese for "horn," as in an ogre's horn.

2This was the opposing biker gang of Kaneda and his group in "Akira." Further on, you'll meet a character named Joker. Although he wasn't in the movie, he was in the comic book. My source is Akira comic #28, for those of you keeping track.

3This is a type of mushroom.

4Yes, in this fanfic Usagi's parents are divorced. To find out why, go back to Devil Sailor Serena.

5According to the book I used, this means "red-hot iron."

6Yes, it seems that naive little Shingo is impersonating his older sis again. Man oh man, if only I could see the look on his face when he discovers it's really Usagi he's idolizing.

7 I believe this is Japanese for "barbarian."

8 I believe this is Japanese for "sword," or at least one of the variations of it. Oh yeah, "Jinja" is Japanese for temple or shrine.

9I believe this is Japanese for "noble."

10"Gohei" are those streamers at Japanese shrines that people ring or shake to get the gods' attention.

11"Mikuji" are those sacred lots at Japanese shrines. Oh yeah, I believe the suffix "-ku" is added to a community, or something in that proximity. Of course, this is just a guess.

12In case you didn't know, the crows are named after the moons of Mars. Three guesses who Usagi ends up bumping into!

13These are those small figures, usually made out of paper-mâché or pottery that resemble cats with one paw raised. Maneki-neko means "beckoning cat." In Japan they are often displayed in front taverns. If the cat has the right paw raised, it means "good fortune." If the left one is raised, it means "customers." Hey, whatever it takes for the owners to make a good buck, right?

14This is the actual thing Rei is yelling when she waves her parchment. We got the bland, "I call upon the power of Mars, vanquish this evil, Mars Fireballs Charge!"

15"Ja'aku" supposedly has something to do with being evil. I took the name from the Japanese title for "Hell Hath no Fury Like Kasumi Scorned (or to be more precise, "Faster Kasumi! Kill! Kill!")," which was "Ja'aku no Oni" or the evil ogre.

16Oh man! We were so close to a cheap thrill, sooo close!

17Remember the end of allotment two in VSR? Artemis took off when he was about face being neutered! He comes back in the OAV, but that really doesn't tie in with the story. That was really just a possible return. He'll be back in the story definitely in the final.

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