Racheengel sits in a darkened room. She looks up at you with deep, clear blue eyes and holds your gaze for a moment.

"I," she says darkly and mysteriously, "am not a writer of stories. I see possible futures, and let those happen- in a separate, unreal world." She smiles evilly. "MY world." "I see, or….."

Suddenly, a man with amethyst hair and closed eyes appears out of nowhere. Rezo blinks at him.

Rache: "What are YOU doing here!?!!?! "

Xelloss: "You brought me here."

Rache: "I did not."

Xelloss: "Did too."

Rache: "Did not."

Xelloss: "Did too."

Rache: "Not!"

Xelloss "Too!"

Rache: "Uso!!"

Xelloss smiles at her very pleasantly.

Xelloss: "Ne, Rae-chan, it’s true. You must have been thinking about me."

Rache: "OK, just, just shut up. I was getting to that."

Rache gets a look of intense concentration, but before she can hold it for more than a second, Xelloss comes up and whispers in her ear. Her eyebrows go up, and then Gourry appears. Wearing only his pants. Rache blinks, Xelloss laughs, and Gourry looks confused. (He looks like that a lot, though.)

Rache: "oops….."

Rache closes her eyes, and Gourry’s shirt reappears. She then whacks Xelloss soundly on his head.

Rache: "How dare you put such thoughts in my head!!!!!"

Xelloss: "Not like you’ve ever had them before."

Rache gives him a look that could freeze hell.

Rache: "I was giving my author’s notes! Silence!"

Rache clears her throat, and makes an attempt to regain the moody lighting and mysterious voice. It fails.

Rache: "Dangit Xelloss! Why’d you have to kill the mood!?!?!?!?!!!"

Xelloss: "Sore wa…."

Rache: (interrupts) "….. himtsu desu. Yeah, yeah, I know.

She scowls menacingly.

Xelloss: "Oooh, menacingly….."

Rache: "I would hit you, but I’m afraid that you’d enjoy that a little too much."

Xelloss gives her a look that suggests….something….it’s hard to tell…

Rache: "I’ll royally.. uh,.. piss you off in the story, if you don’t shut up. I can still alter the plot, you know."

Rache smiles.

Rache: "That’s right, folks. This thing DOES have a point. I’m trying to tell you about my fanfic, and what exactly is going on with it."

Xelloss: "Isn’t that a secret?"

Rache: "Not all of it."

Xelloss: "But I thought it didn’t have a plot."

Rache sweatdrops.

Rache: "Well, it does now. It did originally, too, but I just forgot….. The new one is better anyway, I think, but then again, I can’t remember. Anyway, they’re not just some of those "PWP" (Plot? What Plot?) lemons."

Xelloss: "Why can’t they be? My story, especially?"

Xelloss gives her his best sexy look. She ignores it.

Rache: "Because I don’t do that."

She slowly smiles.

Rache: "Although…….."

Suddenly, a man with topaz eyes, long white hair, dog ears, and fangs appears. He too, arrives shirtless. He stands there in utter silence as he looks around.

Rache: "Ahh. Inu Yasha."

Inu Yasha: "What the Hell! Where the &^%* am I?!? Who are you, and where the *&^% is my shirt!!!!"

Xelloss is highly amused.

Xelloss: "I like this one."

He floats in a circle around Inu Yasha.

Xelloss: "He has the feel of a demon. Quite pleasant! Now, Rae-chan, what are you going to do with him?"

Inu Yasha: "You #$%^*&@ purple bastard!"

Xelloss: "Thank you."

Inu Yasha: "That *&^#$ better not do anything with me!"

Xelloss: "Actually, I hoping that she’d do something with me…"

Inu Yasha: "*&#$!"

Xelloss: "I’d love to!"

Gourry: "You really shouldn’t use such strong language around a girl, Into Sushi-san."

Xelloss: "She’s no girl."

Inu Yasha: " Dangit, you fool! My name is Inu Yasha! Got that? Inu! Yasha!"

Gourry: "Oh, okay Spinyou Sasha-san."

Together, Xelloss and Rache are able to restrain Inu Yasha.

Rache: "Inu Yasha, calm down, or Xelloss will show you some advantages of being full Mazoku. (Ever so slight emphasis on the full.) Xelloss-kun, stop baiting him."

Xelloss opens his eyes to smile at Inu Yasha. A dark feeling washes over the entire room. Rache rolls her eyes.

Rache: "Gourry-kun, please don’t say anything for a while, okay?"

Gourry: "Okay."

Rache: "Now. Neither of you have to worry about me doing things, respectively. I think it’s time to introduce Hatla-chan!"

Xelloss: "You do change subjects rather abruptly…."

Rache performs akanbe. (Did you ever wonder what anime characters are doing when they pull down one eyelid and stick out their tongue? That’s akanbe, and it’s something like blowing a raspberry. There is a phrase that often follows…..)

Rache: "Be-da!"

(Now you know.)

Rache: "Anyway…."

She closes her eyes. In a second a girl appears. She has red hair and green eyes and is several inches shorter than Rache. She looks rather surprised, but the surprise melts away when she sees Rache.

Hatla: " That was kinda weird. You should really practice some more."

Rache:(sweatdrops) "I'm working on it.Look, I’ve got a surprise for you."

Rache gets an evil grin as she gestures toward Inu Yasha.

Hatla sees Inu Yasha and promptly gets a grin that could rival Gourrys on her face. She starts inching over to Inu Yasha's side.

Hatla: "I love you, Rae. "

Xellos starts to look from Hatla to Rache, and back to Hatla with a funny look on his face.

Hatla: "Wait, no, hold on a minute. OK, let me clear this up for you Xel. I don't…Swing that way, so to speak. She's all yours. Have Fun with her."

Rache smiles.

Rache: "Oh, and I almost forgot. Hold out your hand, Hatla."

Hatla: "Why? What are you gonna…. "

Rache gestures at Hatla’s hand and mumbles something.

Hatla: "Oh, no, not this again. No, please… "

Xelloss: "A cucumber?"

Hatla is holding a rather large cucumber. Both she and Inu Yasha sweatdrop.**

Inu Yasha: *giku*

Hatla: "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

Hatla starts swatting Rache with the cucumber

Rache: "Itai...."(she falls down with a thump and gets a goofy grin.) "Itai....."

Hatla: (sweatdrops) You've been hanging around the fruitcake too long.

Gourry: "I’m hungry. Can I have that cucumber?"

Rache: "How about a pickle instead?"

Gourry: "Okay. A big one, though."

Hatla: "Oh, dear God, she's tainted his mind too. Run, Gourry, Run while you have your innocence!!! "

Rache: "Innocence isn't what it's cracked up to be. It makes you trust people. Once they have your trust, they rip your heart out, stomp on it, then shove it down the garbage disposal."

She takes a deep breath. Xelloss laughs.

Xelloss: "Sounds like fun!"

Rache punches him repeatedly in the face. He just falls down, than comes back up like those inflatable punching bag things.

Xelloss: "Feel better? I know I do."

Rache:"Quite."

Gourry: "Can I have my pickle?"

Rache: "Of course. Hold out your hand."

She gestures and mumbles. Gourry munches happily.

Xelloss: " He’ll be quiet for a while, now that he has something in his mouth."

Rache, Xelloss, and Hatla look amused. Inu Yasha still looks embarrassed.

Rache: "Too bad Zel isn’t here. I bet we could get a major blush factor."

Hatla: "If you bring him and don't tell Opal, she's gonna go into conniptions"

Rache:(smiles) "Actually, I think I will bring him here. First, I have to take care of you and Inu Yasha."

Hatla: " What do you mean by that?"

Rache smiles wickedly.

Hatla: "I have a feeling that this is gonna be Xellos-y."

Rache: "Don’t worry."

Rache waves as Inu Yasha and Hatla dissappear.

Rache: "Have fun!!"

Hatla: "As much as you and Xel?"

Xelloss: "Heh. I liked her.Where did you send them?"

Rache: "To a nice, warm pond in the forest."

Xelloss smiles.

Xelloss: "I read that too, you know."

Rache: "I’m not surprised."

Xelloss: "What about Zel?"

Rache looks from Xelloss to Gourry, (still…munching..) and back.

Rache: "Unfoutunately, I have something else to do right now."

Xelloss: "Really?"

A look passes between them.

Rache: "Not just yet……."

Xelloss: "You didn’t even talk about your, er, story. So unproductive!"

Rache: "So?"

Xelloss: "I love it."

Rache: "Anyway, you know what this means, don’t you?"

Xelloss: "Of course!"

Rache: "Then what?"

Xelloss: "You’re not going to be getting much sleep tonight!"***

She sweatdrops.

Rache: "Actually, I meant that sooner or later there will be a part two. A less hectic follow-up, I hope."

Xelloss: "Okay!"

Gourry: "I’m done! Can I have another?"

Rache: "Sure. "

She gives Gourry another pickle.

Rache: "Good-bye, Gourry-kun!"

Gourry disappears.

Rache: "This is ending. Now. I have things to do."

She waves as both she and Xelloss begin to fade away……

Xelloss: "Like me?"

They disappear.

---

**- This all a big inside joke. The Queen of Swords has a pair of Inu Yasha lemons on her page, and I enjoy teasing Hatla about one of them. A lot. If you like that sort of thing, the title is "A Nice Hot Bath."

***- Take that any way you wish.