Chapter Three: In Which Zel Gets A Little Too Much Unwanted Attention.

"It can’t be!" breathlessly spoke Lina.

"Is he..?" queried Amelia with eyes wide open.

"….Is something wrong?" asked Gourry looking puzzled.

At once, both Lina and Amelia shot Gourry the most annoyed looks imaginable. Then they quickly went back to staring at Zelgadis, all too curious as to what had become of him.

"I can’t believe this…can it be that Zel is…back to his old self?" Lina wondered.

When Zel had first collapsed, Lina flew to his side and took off her cape to cover him with. Meanwhile Amelia fetched a pillow from a nearby sofa and placed it to support his head.

Just a few moments ago, where stood a blue skinned chimera there now lay on the ground was an exceptionally handsome young man resting comfortably. This astonishing change had left Lina and Amelia almost without words. Neither of them could help but to stare upon his softened and delicate features. Just then Zelgadis started to stir. He found himself surrounded by his companions, each looking very concerned about him. Zelgadis then raised one of his hands to brush his bangs out of his face, but stopped as soon as he saw it. Catching sight of it he promptly stopped and begin to stare at it intensely.

"What’s happened to my hands?" he asked.

"I’d sure like to know myself Zel, but I think you’d better get a look at yourself since that’s not all that’s changed!"

So Zelgadis slowly rose to his feet and walked over to one of the hallway mirrors to get a glimpse of himself. When looked in front of him a strangely familiar face was there greeting him…as if had been waiting all that time for him to arrive…

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Elsewhere the infamous "Kiss and Run Rouge" was losing her patience waiting for her "guests" to arrive. With an annoyed sigh she took out a small onyx mirror from her desk and peered into its shining black surface.

"I wonder how that little firebrand and her friends are faring? Probably not all that well thanks to me!"

The mirror clouded over briefly before revealing a most astonishing discovery.

"What’s this!" cried Lilas as she dropped the mirror.

"That wasn’t supposed to happen! Why is the chimera human now? Did one of my curses actually backfire?"

Lilas paced around her study for a few moments before realizing what had gone wrong. She twitched with anger, furious for the error that had been made. The rouge slammed one of her gloved fists into the desk, punching a shallow depression into its surface.

"CURSE THAT INSUFFRABLE OLD MAN! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON NANAKON HE’S GONNA BE SO TOASTED!"

"My! My! What a temper!" commented a voice from the shadows.

The unexpected remark scarred Lilas witless, screaming she jumped up and then fell face first into the floor. Lilas groaned slightly as she got back up on her feet.

"Why can’t you knock?"

"Sorry Miss Talyze, but you did leave the door ajar, so I just let myself in. You seem upset…is something amiss?"

"UPSET isn’t even the word. One of my herbal suppliers sold me the incorrect extract…so the curse I placed upon Mr. Greywords has been…miscast."

"Oh don’t let that worry you! Even if it was miscast, she’ll still come to cure her friends of their respective afflictions."

"You’re right about that ya know. But they better hurry up ‘cause I’m getting pretty impatient just waiting for them to saunter on up here."

"As am I, Miss Talyze. If I may, I will be taking my leave of you for now. Farewell!" said the mysterious figure as he left room.

As Lilas slumped back into her chair her thoughts began to wander. She was positive that she had barred the door behind her when she entered the room, but she wasn’t all too concerned about the door itself. It wasn’t what was bothering her. One of her pet peeves was people sneaking up on her, as she prided herself on her keen sense of observation. But there was one man that could surprise her day upon day, and that was her older brother. That ever-irritating sibling of hers took it upon himself daily, to sneak up behind Lilas and scare her senseless. Lilas could only wonder what had become of him, for he made it a habit never to tell his little sister where he went or what he did. Needless to say she had heard little from or about him over the past few years.

"You have better things to do than to worry about that jerk." muttered Lilas as she slammed the chamber door behind her. @-->--->- @-->--->- @-->--->- @-->--->-

"Do you want another blanket Mr. Zelgadis?"

"Noi lont rant auddre plankette!"

" Wow I didn’t know you could speak French Mr. Zelgadis!..How romantic!! But what was it you just said?"

Amelia stood by Zelgadis’s side dressed in a Nurse’s uniform, waiting to be of assistance.

"NO I DON’T WANT ANOTHER BLANKET! I’M TELLING YOU FOR THE LAST TIME! I FEEL FINE! WHAT’S WITH ALL THE FUSS AMELIA?" shouted Zelgadis as spat out a mess of thermometers and threw off a pile of thick wool blankets.

"OK Amelia...you can lay off for awhile. I don’t think Zel is gonna spurt wings or horns anytime soon."

"Are you sure Miss Lina? Maybe, just in case…I should give Mr. Zelgadis some of this!" beamed Amelia as she whipped out a gigantic hypodermic needle aimed right at Zelgadis.

"AAHHHHHH! Don’t let her get me!" pleaded Gourry as he hid behind Lina’s cape.

"I don’t think that’ll be necessary. Perhaps you’d better save that for the next flu season."

"OK Miss Lina!"

Both Zelgadis and Gourry were happy to see the spirited young lady put the needle away, and each exhaled a sigh of relief. As they packed their things to leave, Lina discovered a small fortune in coins stowed away in the cottage cellar. When Lina got back up stairs she caught sight of Zelgadis struggling with one of the packs.

"Do you need a hand with that Zel?"

"No. I think I have…"

But before he could finish his sentence, Zelgadis found himself pinned under the weight of the satchel. The girls lifted the bag off him to find a diminutive abrasion on his forearm.

" OH MY GOSH! Mr. Zelgadis is bleeding! I’d better take care of that wound before it gets infected!"

Amelia leapt at Zelgadis, succeeding in wrapping the young man from head to toe in bandages. Zelgadis flopped about like a fish out of water trying desperately to rid himself from the cocoon of dressings. Then Lina took pity upon him and set him free with her dagger.

"Enough Amelia! Why is it that you can’t seem to stop pestering Zel today?"

"Well…I uh…You can’t be too careful about injury prevention and infection, Miss Lina!"

"Oh never mind…Let’s just get going!"

Within a few hours they had arrived in Dragtini, a bustling trade city not too far from the Argent Mountain range. When they got there, Lina found herself rather relieved to have not had any misadventures on the way to town. Although no one spoke of it, they all were slightly worried that that the boys’ curses would seriously inhibit them in a fight if they ran into one. Upon slipping through the city gates, the party directly headed for the nearest restaurant for a much-deserved meal.

"FINALLY! We can eat!"

Gourry ran up to the closet table and began to examine the menu that was lying on it. Everyone else sat down as well and ordered up the typical feast for lunch. While they were busy shoving their faces, the companions overheard a strange conversion that was being carried on by a bunch of giggling girls.

"NO YOU ASK HIM!"

"WHY ME? You’re the one that said he’s cute…you ask!"

"YES Tiea! It was your idea so you should go ask!"

"But I thought you said he was cute too, Zallania?"

"Yeah but I’m not gonna go over there!"

So the girl named Tiea excuse herself from her friends and walked over to Zelgadis. Tiea sat down in an empty chair and then did her best to bat her eyes seductively at him. Zelgadis just sighed, turned his back to her, and tried to finish his food.

"Excuse me Sir, but me and my friends where wondering if you’d…like to go to a party with us…"

"I’ve got better things to do."

"PLEASE!" chimed in the other girls.

Meanwhile across the table Amelia abruptly stopped eating and hopped on the table, squishing the meal under her teal boots.

"How dare you rude people ruin Mr. Zelgadis’s dinner!"

"Who are you…his girlfriend?"

"Don’t be silly Maileen! There’s no way a girl like her could ever get a guy like him!"

If Amelia was mad before-she was certainly fuming now! Without so much as thought she raised her arms and blew them clear out of the establishment. When the dust cleared, Lina began to scold Amelia.

"What’s the big idea squashing our food with your big feet Amelia! And why did you have go blow people away like that? Besides that’s my job!"

"I’m sorry Miss Lina but I just couldn’t let those impolite girls bother Mr. Zelgadis…It’s against the code of justice!"

"Sure it is.."

"I hate to interrupt but I think Amelia blew Zelgadis out of the place too." Gourry said between bites.

"Way to go Amelia…" said Lina as Amelia klutzed over in embarrassment.

"What is wrong with that girl? I can’t she’d go and do something so rash. She’s becoming more like Lina by the day!"

Zelgadis had been blown away with the girls and had landed in some trash cans in nearby alley. He pulled himself from the refuse and was dusting himself off when he blacked out once more. When he came to, Zelgadis found himself in some sort of prison cell apparently underground somewhere…with a rather large headache.

"I see you’re awake now."

Zelgadis turned around to find himself in the presence of one of the girls from the restaurant.

"I’m sorry the way things turned out for you this evening so far…but it would have been easier if you’d come with me when I asked you."

" Why have you brought me here…and what are you plotting?"

"Me? No No No! I the ravishing Tiea have no plans for you, but Madame Buluma is a different story!"

"Oh and what has she got planned?"

"Oh…her usual hobby."

"…and what’s that?"

"You’ll see!" chuckled Tiea as she tugged the tightly bound Zelgadis down the hallway to the Main Hall.

Tiea took a held of him and escorted him to a pair of golden doors. She then opened the doors and announced their arrival.

"Madame Buluma! May I present to you the newest addition to your collection!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!"

Zelgadis could scarcely believe what he beheld before him. Engulfing the Hall were a few dozen men, each one doing various chores while dressed… in drag!

"Why its your new home of course! My…Aren’t you the handsome one! Tiea…Wherever did you find this gem?" laughed Madame Buluma as she got off her couch and walked over to Zelgadis.

"He was dining at Magna’s place with a pair of ill-tempered sorceresses and a young boy."

"Remind me to send her a note of thanks, but now we have a little job on our hands!"

"I’m out of here!" screamed Zelgadis as he made a dash for the doors.

"…’Ladies’…would you please help this gentleman to one of the dressing rooms please."

Buluma snapped her fingers and a pair of transvestites dragged Zelgadis over to another adjoining hall with Tiea following behind them.

"Tiea darling! I want you to spare no expense with this one! I’ve a good feeling that the gown we just finished would be perfect for him!"

"Yes Ma’am!"

Tiea bowed to her Mistress and followed the cross dresser to the dressing hall. As she closed the door, Buluma could hear well the sound of a struggle. After about an hour they all returned to the adjoining Hall where Madame Buluma eagerly awaited the results of Zelgadis’s makeover.

"Ohh! How gorgeous you look! He turned out much better than I had hoped for!!" squealed an ecstatic Buluma.

"You were right Madame Buluma! The lilac chiffon gown is just perfect and that jewelry really compliments those rose slippers!!"

While the two ladies gushed over Zelgadis’s "new look", an explosion blew away part of the wall behind them.

"Sorry to interrupt the fashion show, but were the only ones that get to Zel in a dress."

"What?!" sputtered Zelgadis.

"WOW Mr. Zelgadis! You look all pretty dressed-up like that!"

"I must say that the shade of that gown really accents your eyes."

"I kind of expected a comment like that from Lina or Amelia, but..you Gourry?" complained Zelgadis.

"You mean you people actually like it?" Buluma exclaimed .

"It is sortta strange, but Zel does look rather hot in that outfit!" Lina said as she scratched her head blushing.

"Oh Madame Buluma! At long last we finally receive the praise we’ve waited for! You know what we must do!

"Yes darling Tiea…We must let this man, our greatest work, go! How can we be so selfish and try to keep such beauty all to ourselves?"

So with tears welling up in her eyes, Madame Buluma released Zelgadis to his friends. Both of the ladies waived wet handkerchiefs at the companions left the estate bewildered by the entire experience.

"Uhh…Lina? What just happened?"

"To be honest Gourry…I’m not all that sure myself."

Author’s Notes:

HI YA! Hopefully you’re all enjoying yourselves!-I know I am! AH HAH HA HAA HA!<insert hideous Naga laughter> I’d like to thank all of those of you out there who took the time to write me. It’s a real boost to know somebody out there likes my stuff!! Special thanks go out to Chaos and Alyson Metallium. If you haven’t read their stuff already, the almighty explosive one commands ye to do so now! SEE YA! Angie C. aka "Explosion Goddess Lina" Chmielam@sacadem.sunyerie.edu