><< New Sayings That Should Be Put On Buttons:
> 1 Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
> 2 Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
> 3 Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?
> 4 A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
> 5 Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
> 6 Do I look like a freakin' people person?
> 7 This isn't an office-It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
> 8 I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
> 9 I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
> 10 If I throw a stick, will you leave?
> 11 You! Off my planet!
> 12 Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.
> 13 Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of
> self-control.
> 14 Bottomless pit of needs & wants.
> 15 I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.
> 16 Friendly checkout clerk. Thanks for keeping me that way!
> 17 If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put
> shoes on my cat.
> 18 Does your train of thought have a caboose?
> 19 Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
> 20 Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
> 21 Let me show you how the guards used to do it.
> 22 And just how may I screw you over today?
> 23 And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
> 24 I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
> 25 If only you'd use your powers for good instead of evil...
> 26 See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
> 27 A PBS mind in an MTV world.
> 28 Allow me to introduce my selves.
> 29 Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
> 30 Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."
> 31 Better living through denial.
> 32 Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
> 33 Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets
> after them.
> 34 Adult child of alien invaders.
> 35 Do they ever shut up on your planet?
> 36 I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
> 37 Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
> 38 I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
> 39 I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
> 40 A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
> 41 Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't
> fallen asleep yet.
> 42 Mall whore: I can suck the numbers right off your credit cards.
> 43 After I cook the vegetables, what do I do with the wheelchairs?
> 44 Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?
> 45 Back off! You're standing in my aura.
> 46 I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
> 47 Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!
> 48 Adults are just kids who owe money.
> 49 One of us is thinking about sex..... OK, it's me.
> 50 How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
> 51 I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
> 52 I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.
> 53 You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
> 54 Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
> 55 Okay, okay, I take it back! UnScrew you!
> 56 Macho Law forbids me from admitting I'm wrong.
> 57 Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
> 58 Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
> 59 Too may freaks, not enough circuses.
> 60 Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
> 61 A woman's favorite position is CEO.
> 62 Ambivalent? Well, yes and no. {Or, as Buffett sings,
> 'Indecision mayor may not be my problem)
> 63 You look like shit. Is that the style now?
> 64 Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends deep inside
> the earth.
> 65 Earth is full. Go home.
> 66 Is it time for your medication or mine?
> 67 Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you
> touch me?
> 68 I plead contemporary insanity.
> 69 And which dwarf are you?
> 70 I refuse to star in your psychodrama.
> 71 I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
> 72 How do I set a laser printer to stun?
> 73 It ain't the size, it's..... no wait-it IS the size.
> 74 Meandering to a different drummer.
> 75 I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
> 76 I majored in Liberal Arts. Will that be for here or to go?
> 77 How can a person be so stupid and still breathe..? >>
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