The Men's guide to what women really mean: 

"You want." = You want.

"We need." = I want.

"It's your decision." = The correct decision should

be obvious by now.

"Do what you want." = You'll pay for this later.

"We need to talk." = I need to complain.

"Sure . . . go ahead." = I don't want you to.

"I'm not upset." = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

"You're . . . so manly." = You need a shave and you

sweat too much.

"This kitchen is so inconvenient." = I want a new

house.

"I want new curtains." = and carpeting, and furniture,

and wallpaper.

"I need shoes." = The other 40 pairs are the wrong

shade of white.

"I heard a noise." = I noticed you were almost asleep.

"Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something

expensive.

"How much do you love me?" = I did something today

you're really not going to like.

"I'll be ready in a minute." = Kick off your shoes

and find a good game on TV.

"You have to learn to communicate." = Just agree with me.

"Yes." = No.

"No." = No.

"Maybe." = No.

"I'm sorry." = You'll be sorry.

"I'm not yelling!" = Yes I am yelling because I think

this is important.