Useful Work Phrases:

1. How about never? Is never good for you?

2. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

3 . I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in

public.

4. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the

subject.

5. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point

of view.

6. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist

7. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to

pronounce.

8. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

9. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

10. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

11. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

12. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

13. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

14. Ahhh . . . I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

17. I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

18. No, my powers can only be used for good.

19. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship

me.

20. You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication

21. Are you a fucking ray of sunshine every day?

22. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

23. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

24. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

25. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

26. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

27. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.