Warnings: Duo's potty mouth and lime.

Random inane comments: I've noted that the realizations Wufei comes to in this chapter would probably change the rest of the series and Endless Waltz stuffs. (Not that I've got to see the OVA yet. ::pouts:: But I've read spoilers. ^^) I think had this really happened, he might have been different. But then, this is why it's AU! And I love AU. ^^ And I love my muse! ::gives her muse a big fat smooch::

When Fallen Angels Fly: Part Seven

Duo awoke to warm hands probing around the area of his wound. One finger pressed in a little too hard, and he jerked up, shoving it rudely away as he tried to clear his head and focus.

Strong hands pushed him back down. "Lie still, Maxwell."

Wufei.

Despite himself, Duo relaxed.

"Your knee is the size of a small melon," the Chinese boy observed, so very tactfully.

"That's nice," Duo replied, grimacing as he covered his eyes with the back of his arm.

Wufei continued to poke and prod, his hands sliding around Duo's leg just above and below his knee so as to gently straighten it. Agony shot through him like wildfire, and he was unable to hold in a hiss of pain. This injury was going to make walking a lovely venture for quite some time. But, at the moment, it was worth it to have Wufei's hands against his bare skin. He doubted he would get this chance again anytime soon.

Shifting slightly, he realized he was holding his breath. He was waiting for the lecture.

"What were you thinking?"

Here it came.

"I didn't exactly say, 'c'mon guys, shoot at me, and while your at it, why don't you bash the hell out of my knee'. Some soldier got snoopy and I couldn't con my way around him."

The Nataku pilot grunted in response.

Letting his arm slide away, Duo eyed Wufei through slits in his fingers, noting as he did that he had a horrendous headache. There was a deep expression of concentration on the other pilot's face as he probed the knee, apparently wanting to make certain it wasn't broken. Duo just wanted him to be a little more gentle.

"Ouch! Gee, Wu, why don't you see if you can break it the rest of the way?"

"I just might," Wufei murmured, earning another stare.

He closed his eyes again, but not before noticing that he was lying on the living room floor of the house they shared. Apparently, Wufei had managed to get them home without him being aware of it.

He also realized something else, as Wufei moved away from him, creating a slight draft. He wasn't wearing any pants.

Despite his pain, he chuckled. "Hey Wu, looks like you got me out of my pants after all."

"Shut up, Maxwell!" Wufei hissed, his tone so harsh, that Duo turned his head to the side so that he could open his eyes again.

"I was just joking..."

Wufei was wound tighter than a watch. Duo could see it in the short, jerky movements the Chinese pilot was making.

Releasing some of the air that was trapped painfully in his chest, Wufei settled an ice pack on Duo's knee with more care than he felt like using. All those emotions were pressing to get out again. It was a mixture of everything. Of his fear at the thought of Duo being killed, at his guilt over having killed those scientists...

"You're hurt," Duo suddenly remarked, pulling himself to a sitting position with less speed than he normally would have been able to manage.

Wufei regarded him blankly for a moment before realization dawned and he turned to look dismissively at his arm. "It is just a scratch."

Duo leaned forward. "Still-"

Wufei's hand cut through the air. "Stay where you are."

Puzzled, Duo settled back. "Okay..."

He couldn't hold it in anymore.

"You could have been killed!" He exploded, hands bracing himself on the ground as he jerked toward the Deathscythe pilot.

Duo shrugged. "Yeah... that's the risk we take."

With a speed that both startled and stunned him, Wufei leaped on him, somehow managing to keep Duo's wounded legs between his own as he reached up to grip his shoulders and shove the American boy's face so close to his own.

Warm breath fanned across him, and Duo trembled both from it and being confronted with the fury etched in Wufei's face. He had never seen the other boy so angry before.

"No. Do not be so careless with your life," the Chinese boy bit out, his words striking Duo like physical blows.

"Wu-"

And then startling him further, Wufei pulled him into a crushing hug.

Duo was too shocked to react at first. After a few seconds, he slowly, hesitantly, brought his own arms up to wrap them around Wufei. Warmth and something else passed between them. Both stilled and tensed with the knowledge of it, neither wanting to let go of the other just yet.

But Wufei did. And when his eyes locked with Duo's, the other saw a gentleness there that softened the harsh lines of his face.

Wufei became suddenly aware of his proximity to Duo, and how the other's bare legs were pressed on the inside of his own. The sharp flash of desire caught him like a fist to the stomach and left him frantic with the need to get away before he did something he regretted, before Duo saw.

Duo reached out for him as he was pulling back, curling his hand around the back of Wufei's neck. He wasn't getting away. Not this time.

Wufei allowed himself to be drawn only so close. He couldn't allow this to happen. Somehow, he knew that if they touched this way, there would be no going back. He couldn't chance that yet. He wasn't ready for it.

"Wu?"

He shook his head.

Duo's eyes clouded with both confusion and hurt, though he tried to fight it. It wasn't just his imagination. He was sure Wufei felt as he did...

"This is just a result... of battle," Wufei forced himself to say stiffly. "We are just feeling relieved to be alive."

Temper snapped in Duo's eyes instantly. "Oh, really? Let me tell you something. You may not be comfortable with, or even realize your feelings, but _I_ know what mine are."

The face that had been flushed with beautiful desire only moments before closed off and Duo averted his gaze before Wufei saw just how much his words ate at him.

"Please leave, since I can't get up myself."

Wufei seemed about to say something, but moved back and pushed to his feet, staring down at Duo.

"Leave."

And he didn't watch him as he walked away, because right now, that hurt more than this blasted injury.

__________________________________________________________ ___________________

Wufei rested his arms on the railing, clasping his hands together as he stared out into the darkness. From here, he could see only the faint outlines of the trees in the light provided from the moon and the spattering of stars in the inky black sky. The cool air caught the perspiration covering his bare skin and was a welcome relief from the stifling heat of the indoors. His mind was a whirl of thought and confusion, the feelings Duo had stirred in him awake and hungry, with no signs of quieting anytime soon. He had never felt this before, not even with Meiran.

Allowing himself a rare sigh, he felt some of the pressure release from the tension in his chest at the act. It was time to stop running. It was time to remember. Because if he could not let go of the past, then he would never be free to give himself to Duo without question. He knew that was what he wanted. For the first time in as long as he could remember, Wufei Chang wanted to forget caution and give himself completely to something. No, to someone.

He had never had that in his marriage to Meiran. Theirs had been a union between two children, not ready to commit to their complete personalities, much less each other for all eternity. But it was tradition, the way things had been done for generations, and so they both accepted it. It had been a marriage in name only, however, because neither of them had been willing to share a bed when they could not even share their hearts.

They were very different. Their notions about how life should be lived and the ideals one should carry brought them frequent conflict. While Wufei sought refuge from their constant arguments in the comfort of his personal library, Meiran took her frustrations out in the practice fields. Her family was a family of warriors, as his was, and though she had been born a woman in a long line of men, she was no exception.

Their marriage had not lasted long, and it had not been a pleasant coupling. Neither had made a great deal of effort to try to understand the other, and most of the words they had exchanged had been terse and hurtful. It had gotten so that living together was too much of an effort. It was much easier to live near separate lives rather than having her encroach the sanctuary of his library to extend an invitation to practice with her when she well knew he had no desire to have her criticize his form and offer him tips. Wufei had only made the mistake of accepting that offer once.

When she had died a death fitting of a warrior like her, he had only felt enormous guilt. They had never loved one another, not in the true sense of the word, but he had not hated her. He felt too, that he had failed her as a husband and as a man. He had not been there for her when she needed it. He had clung to his ideals of pacifism and she had died for her ideals of fighting

"Forgive me, Nataku... I cannot bring you the justice you deserve, and for that, I am weak. Every time I kill, the ache grows more and I feel emptier. It can't bring you back. It can't bring you justice. I am not the warrior you were. I never can be, no matter how I pretend. And I no longer have a purpose for fighting... or the right to be a pilot. No one who is weak and confused has a right."

"That's not weakness."

Tension snapping through him like a whip, Wufei spun around and crouched into a defensive position. A lean, lithe form unfolded itself from the shadows and emerged slowly, arms crossed over a narrow chest. Duo Maxwell was not smiling, and as he limped over to stand next to Wufei, the other could feel the anger radiating from him in great, engulfing waves. But somehow, Wufei knew that this had more to do with his words now than his words earlier.

Easing some of the tension from his coiled muscles, he straightened and replied quietly, "I do not know what you mean."

"Bullshit." Duo bit out. "You're intelligent, so why haven't you figured it out yet? Strength _is_ admitting to weakness. We're all weak, Wufei. We all have bodies capable of failing us, and moments where we feel we can't fight and we wonder why we're even alive. Can't you see that our personal reasons for fighting aren't worth shit? We fight for the colonies, so the colonies don't have to fight. We fight so Relena can preach peace. That's what we do. That's why we're alive. So you have your purpose, not this ridiculous justice."

Wufei stiffened. But he listened without comment, because he was incapable of forming one. He had never heard Duo sound this terse, nor was it often that the other pilot said his full name. Shinigami usually only came out in Deathscythe.

"Don't get all mad about it. Life is shit, Wufei. It's confusing, and you aren't ever going to figure it all out. Not even a super brain like you. I'm not the smartest guy around, but I've learned something. Death is inevitable. It's going to happen no matter what. So you have to cling to life, and you have to form connections and love. Caring doesn't make us weaker, it makes us stronger. It gives us purpose. I love the colonies, so I fight for them."

At his silence, Duo continued. "The enemies aren't always the same faces, but I know they're the ones that want to take away the right for freedom. The colonies deserve that as much as Earth does. So yeah, maybe it's really simple among all the complexity. I don't really fucking know. All I know is that I'll continue fighting. I'll continue fighting until this war has ended. We do what we can on our battle field, Wufei, and Relena does what she can on hers. And somehow, they'll all come together one day."

Duo laughed suddenly, harshly. "See? I'm not even making sense now. So don't think you're the only one who's fucked up."

"You're making sense," came the quiet reply. "It's simple if we make it simple."

The night wound its spell around them, trying to offer comfort in the cool serenity of the dark. But comfort was something both of them were beyond at this moment. There was still much that needed to be worked out inside.

Rubbing at the back of his neck, Duo regarded Wufei's profile in silence, never having felt so old as he did now. They had both dropped their masks completely. The God of Death and the Solitary Dragon. They had revealed themselves to be nothing more than what they were, two confused boys whose maturity made them soldiers and whose confusion made them human. The strain of the responsibility put on them had made them weary, and their loneliness in the midst of battle had made them hungry for affection. And they were both learning that answers only led to more questions, that only together could they find the strength they needed to continue.

But it was more than that.

Duo cared for Wufei because of everything that Wufei was, not what he represented, or what he tried to be. Behind the mask, Wufei was kind, generous, and cared deeply. He was stronger than he gave himself credit for, smart in ways Duo never could be, and far too honorable for his own good. He also made him feel things he had never felt before. Intense desire, that left his knees weak, and his skin humming and burning for just the light touch of the Chinese pilot's fingers. What Duo saw in Wufei, was a different kind of completion from the one he shared with Deathscythe. And he was not about to give that up.

Not to the war, and not to the ghosts of Wufei's past.

Unused to such seriousness from Duo, Wufei wasn't able to form a suitable reply just yet. Duo's words to him reverberated around inside mind, clashing and twisting and forming new ideas.

Meiran’s death had hit him hard, wounded him deeply, not because he had loved her deeply, but because he had been unable to prevent it, and because someone as strong as her had died, while someone as weak as he had lived. If that were possible, then what did it say for the rest of them? Where was the justice in letting someone as strong as she, someone who could have made a difference die? Meiran had her ideals, and she had accepted that fighting for them could bring her death. And so Wufei had adopted those ideals for her, because he wanted to honor her, and to bring the justice she had never been given the chance to achieve.

Meiran had called him weak because he had refused to use his skills for fighting. She had told him often that inside him was the potential for the warrior, he was just too weak to allow him out. She has asked him how his books could protect him when OZ came to attack his colony? How could adopting peace, and then sitting back and doing nothing save them? Perhaps, in some ways she had been right. But at the time, Wufei had been too blinded to see what was really behind her words. He had been young, and hurt, and her words threw him off balance. His wife was stronger than he was. That was all he had been able to think. That, and he was weak for allowing her to fight while he remained behind.

Now, he could see that in her own way, Meiran had been scared. She had not understood Wufei any more than he did her, and that had lent itself to having her lash out at him, to deal with it the only way she knew how. They had both made their choices, and he could have no more stopped her than she him. For the first time then, it occurred to him that it might have been _she_ who was wrong in her notions of strength, weakness, and justice. What Duo said, made sense, because in his heart, where it mattered, Wufei felt it.

Strength was not physical strength, it was not the complete removal of fear. It was fighting for what you believed in, even when you _were_ afraid. Strength was acknowledging your weaknesses, and compensating for them in any way that you could. It was admitting that you needed someone, that you could not do it all alone, and then accepting that, no matter how confused it made you. Everyone was strong in their own way. Heero's solid strength, Quatre's gentle strength, Trowa's silent strength, and Duo's boisterous strength.

Everyone had their own sense of justice. You could not be given your justice. Wufei had made a mistake when he adopted Meiran’s, because it was not his purpose, but hers. It ate at him, when he could not live up to the image of her he had built in his mind. But that was no more fair to her than it was to him. He knew then, to continue fighting, he had to have his own purpose. Not Meiran’s any longer.

"Don't hurt yourself by thinking too much, Wu," Duo's softly amused voice cut through his heavy thoughts.

Wufei's dark eyes, so black in the night, focused on Duo, pinning them with the intensity of the emotions moving inside of him.

Duo's breath caught somewhere inside of him, and the flash of desire that jolted through him was so violent, he had to grab onto the railing to steady himself. The way Wufei was looking at him... was almost predatory. But there was a gentleness in those eyes that he knew was reserved for only him, and it touched his heart, leaving a warmth that he had to close his eyes against.

Arousal was something easy to explain and deal with, but love was another thing entirely. He wanted Wufei not only because he was attracted to him, but also because he loved him. And while that scared him deep into his soul, he was not about to give it up.

Wufei watched those impossibly dark lashes lower over eyes he had grown to love staring in to. Duo was such a complexity. He was light and he was dark. He was laughter and he was solemnity. He was strong, and he was special, so very special. Just being around him lifted you up, because Duo genuinely cared. He shared himself with everyone, regardless of the costs and gave and gave until he had nothing left to give. He was reckless, stubborn, and a smartass, but he was Wufei's smartass.

"Yes," Wufei murmured to himself, "mine."

No matter how you shot him down, or how many times, Duo kept trying to get through. His laughter brought Wufei light, and his humor made Wufei smile. Wufei valued his honesty, treasured his intelligence, and admired his skills in battle. He loved the sound of Duo's voice, wanted to touch his soft hair any chance that he could be given, and had begun looking for any excuse to be in the same room with the pilot without having even known it. It was why, he knew, he put up with Duo's antics while pretending to be annoyed. In truth, he held on to every moment spent in this beautiful person's presence and looked back on them when he most needed it. In short, he loved Duo.

And he wasn't even sure how to tell him.

Duo's eyes fluttered opened, disappointment flooding through him at the amount of air still separating them.

He wanted Wufei at this moment, wanted to bond with him body and heart, and could not see any way around the ache. The only way to make it go away, was to assuage it, so that it could come back, and he could make it go away again and again.

"Wu-"

"Shh." Wufei interrupted him. And then, he was closing the distance between them.

Reaching his arm out, Wufei drew Duo slowly to him, until their bodies melted into one another and breath, after shaky breath, fanned across heated cheeks. Lips parted in answering need and mutual ache, and arms came up to cling. Wufei reached down and pulled the tie from Duo's hair in one easy yank, running his fingers up the braid until the mahogany mass spilled around them, reflecting colors in the moonlight. At the deft, gentle touch of Wufei's fingers delving deep into his hair, Duo was helpless to stop a shudder from twisting through him and a breathless gasp of pleasure from escaping his lips.

He had never needed so much before, had never felt so much before. It was as if he wanted to crawl into Wufei's skin with him, to get as close as he could until nothing separated them.

Wufei closed his eyes briefly, reveling in the feel of Duo's surprisingly strong body pressed against his own. Heat reached through his clothing, searing his skin and leaving him trembling. Power tingled along every nerve at being able to produce such reactions in Duo, and the knowledge of it was both welcome and intoxicating. With that knowledge, he combed deeper into Duo's hair, pressing his fingers softly to his scalp, so that he could turn his face to his and slowly pull him closer. Their eyes remained open, endless black and deep blue, so that all they saw and all they felt was each other.

The wind blew softly across them, sending silken strands of Duo's hair against the bareness of Wufei's arm. The fragrance of vanilla filled his senses, leaving him surrounded by and reeling from the scent that always clung to Duo. The lighter of the two reached up his hands and slid them on either side of Wufei's face, watching with rapt fascination as the other swallowed hard and his tongue darted out to wet suddenly dry lips. Instinctively, Duo curved his hips into Wufei's, pressing them even more firmly together so that not even the whisper of air could have inserted itself between them.

Letting out an explosive breath, it was Wufei's turn to cry out softly when Duo's hands slid down his body, molding to every inch of flesh they came across, before curving around his backside. Two sets of eyes widened at the contact, both from the sensation and the fact that Wufei's rear end was as well muscled as the rest of him.

Here, tangled in the threads of silvery moonlight, Wufei thought that Duo had never looked more beautiful. Lips were parted in silent acquiescence, face flushed with the passion that had only just taken them in its grips, and his eyes were bright with the inner fire that only Duo could possess. Reaching down, Wufei took one of Duo's hands in his, tangling their fingers. Raising their joined hands, he pressed the inside of Duo's wrist to his lips. Duo's pulse jumped there, and he felt it, beating strong, and fast.

Seeing the surprise flickering in Duo's eyes at the touch, Wufei wondered. Has no one ever romanced you, Duo?

Almond shaped eyes narrowed slightly as he considered what he did know of Duo's past. It was very little, but what he had gleaned from the fragments told him that Duo hadn't had the benefit of a large family such as his. Granted, the traditions of his family often made their interactions stiff and formal, but he at least had somewhere to return to if he wished. Duo, it seemed, had nowhere but here. Was that why he always felt the need to be underfoot? Did he crave human contact that much?

"Wufei?"

He closed his eyes, jaw tensing as warmth pooled in his groin from just having his name spoken aloud, leaving the friction of Duo's body against his very uncomfortable. But it was a welcome discomfort.

"You aren't mad, are you?"

Eyes flew open to regard Duo with some astonishment.

"Mad? If I was mad, you would know it," he added, sounding a bit closer to the Wufei that Duo had grown accustomed to.

"I dunno... the look on your face there..." he trailed off, offering Wufei a slight smile.

"It is nothing," Wufei dismissed, knowing that his thoughts on Duo's past until it was freely offered to him would not be appreciated.

Now that words had intruded, however, he was going to discuss something with Duo. It was important to him to leave every bit of the past behind before moving on. And he could not conceivably see doing that by keeping this from the boy who would become his lover. He knew it would not be easily forgiven otherwise. Duo believed in complete honesty above all else, and Wufei was bound by his love for him, and their friendship, to honor that.

"Yeah?" The other questioned with something closer to his original grin as he tightened his grip on Wufei's hand.

Wufei nodded curtly.

He saw doubt cloud Duo's eyes again and cursed himself for the manners which made perfect sense in the world that he had come from, but never to this open, caring boy.

Wanting to reassure him, the Chinese pilot reached up and brushed hair back from Duo's forehead, fingers gentle and lingering just enough that the other knew it was difficult to touch him without wanting to continue touching him.

"There is something I need to tell you."

Some of his passion cooled at the serious tone of Wufei's voice. Damn him, but he was frightened that the other boy was going to reject him. After touching him like that, after making him feel so complete, after making him feel so cared for. No one had ever made him feel that way before. Sister Helen, Father Maxwell, Solo... they had cared for him in their own separate ways, but never like this, never as Wufei did.

"Hey Wu, you can tell me," he urged, sounding more certain than he was.

Wufei didn't say anything for the longest time, just stared at Duo in a way that made it difficult for the other boy to breathe. And then, slowly, he smiled.

It was the most beautiful thing Duo had ever seen.

Wufei Chang was nice looking when he was scowling, nice looking when he had that carefully blank expression on his face, nice looking period, but Wufei Chang smiling a complete, tooth-filled smile, was stunning.

"Geez, Wu, you really know how to sock a guy in the gut."

Was that really him, sounding like an out of shape dork who had just gotten done climbing 50 flights of stairs?

Somehow, that had been the wrong thing to say.

That beautiful smile faded away to reveal serious, unsmiling Wufei. And worse, he moved away from Duo so that the sudden, unwelcome rush of cold air filling the space where his body had been was like a harsh slap.

"Hey... Wufei?"

Wufei bowed his head, his back to Duo, and forced himself to relax. If Duo would just quit saying his name like that, it would be a much easier task to accomplish.

Straightening, he said with less warmth, his general feelings on discussing this not warm ones to begin with, "Let us sit. Here," he added, indicating to the two chairs nearest the edge of the balcony with an impatient jerk of his hand.

Duo swallowed a groan. Further separation...

Rushing past Wufei as fast as his limp would allow, he threw himself into the nearest chair, legs sprawling out in front of him to take pressure from his knee.

"Okay, ready!" Duo informed him, flashing Wufei a grin.

The corners of Wufei's mouth tightened. Duo's mask was back in place. But for now, it could not be helped.

Gingerly lowering himself into the chair, he settled his arms on either rest and stared out into the darkness.

Duo had almost given up on Wufei even speaking, and had begun to squirm in his seat, both from having to sit still for so long and because he was worried about what the other was going to say, when Wufei's voice came, quiet and even more composed than usual.

"I was married."

Silence. Wufei was almost afraid to look over at Duo, but he forced himself, not quite certain what he was expecting to see.

Wufei had been married? Anti-social, likes-his-privacy Wufei had been married? Somehow, that just didn't compute. And for some ridiculous reason he didn't want to fully explore, Duo felt a surge of jealousy and no small amount of hurt.

But it wasn't like he and Wufei had been close before. The Chinese pilot had always kept to himself, and even when he was bugging him, Duo hadn't gotten much out of him.

Some of that must have shown on his face, because Wufei's mouth tightened at the corners again in the way that it did when he was displeased.

"Married? When?" Duo finally managed to choke out.

All traces of what they had shared only moments before was fast fading, and Wufei's hands tightened convulsively on the arm rests. He had known that it would be this way. It was why he hadn't wanted to speak of it. But he had too much respect for Duo to keep it from him, and he cared too much to ever lie.

"When I was 14. It was an arranged marriage."

Duo was by nature an empath, and because of his own feelings for Wufei, he was even more sensitive to the Chinese boy's shifts in mood. Whatever Wufei may be thinking now, Duo could tell he was very uncomfortable with discussing this. The problem was, he had no way of knowing exactly _why_. It could have been because she meant a lot to him...

"What... happened? How come you aren't still married?"

"She died." Wufei replied, matter of fact.

Duo sat back. "Hey, Wu, I'm sorry. I didn't-"

"Don't apologize. It was my choice to tell you this."

Now was the opening he needed.

"Why _did_ you tell me?"

Wufei's eyes settled on him completely then, his expression grave.

Duo blinked under the weight of the stare.

"Do you really need to ask me that, Duo?"

Duo was too busy getting over the shock of having Wufei call him by his first name to form a coherent reply. But when it penetrated, he realized how Wufei had taken his words.

"No, Wufei," he answered softly. "I wanted to hear you say it."

Dark eyes never left his. They held his own prisoner with their strength.

"Because I thought you deserved to hear it before we made love."

_Now_ he felt like someone had punched him in the gut.

"Oh..." was all he could manage, perfectly aware that he sounded like a moron.

Wufei smiled suddenly, catching him off guard, and sending him completely reeling. He had severely underestimated this quiet, studious pilot of Nataku.

The smile faded again, and he looked away. "I didn't love her. Not in the way a husband should his wife. She and I disagreed on many things. She was a warrior, and... she thought I was weak for avoiding fighting. She died defending the colony from OZ. So I..."

"Took her place."

Wufei's head jerked around. "Yes. I wanted to bring her justice and honor her memory."

Duo's smile was slightly bitter. "You only had to remember her to honor her memory, Wufei."

Wufei turned away again.

"Sorry. I didn't mean..." Duo began, only to fade away into hesitation.

"I know."

They lapsed into a silence that was not entirely comfortable.

"Wufei..."

"Yes?"

"Thanks for telling me."

A hand reached out between them, palm up. With a smile, Duo slid his own into it, slim, pale fingers tangling with strong, bronzed ones.