DUO'S HAIR MONKEY!

Another beautiful day on Earth. The sky is a crystalline blue, lightly spotted with puffs of water vapour. A gentle breeze rustles through verdant boughs. Stretching out beneath a magnificent example of arboreal evolution, the kind Arabian allows himself a moment of peaceful solitude. Speckles of light filter past leaves to dance over him, sliding from closed eyelids to bare feet, toes wriggling in the lush grass. Perfect, he thinks with a lazy yawn.

Absolutely perfe--

"Where the hell are you, ya' long-tailed bastard!"

Duo runs across the lawn, looking extraordinarily harried to the other pilot. Sitting up, Quatre waves to him. "I'm over here and I'd appreciate it if you didn't use such rude language."

Detouring to the shade trees, the boisterous baka frowns. "I don't want you-- I need to find him. You haven't seen him lately, have you?" A completely clueless Quatre becomes more bewildered when, after he shakes his head in response, the other youth starts to paw at his blonde locks. "Maybe he's hiding around here... can't be too careful."

"Um, exactly who are you searching for, Duo?" He carefully removes the questing hands.

"My monkey, of course."

Furrowing his brow, Quatre attempts to assess his friend's mental stability. "Your... monkey?"

"Yep. Had him yesterday, but he was gone this morning. He can't have gone far."

*ook?*

Clamping a hand over Quatre's mouth, Duo raises a finger to his lips and waits in poised silence.

*ook-ook, chitter*

"Come down here and get to work," he angrily chides the hidden tree- dweller. In amazement, Quatre watches a tiny brown animal, barely seven inches long from head to curling tail, scurry down to the ground and swarm up Duo's leg.

A penitent expression on its wizened face, the mammal chirrups in a sad tone. "Oh, that's okay. Leave me a note the next time you want a day off. I get worried when I can't find you." It presses affectionately against the boy's cheek, long fingers splayed in an embrace, before scampering into Duo's tangled hair.

It disappears from sight, squeaking merrily.

"Please tell me I'm hallucinating," Quatre pleads. Horror edges out amazement as he looks on. Each passing second yeilds a tidier appearance for the American--dull, matted strands become glistening and straight, a waterfall of chestnut, as the creature climbs over them. Starting at the nape and continuing until it is swinging off the completed end, the primate plaits the hair in a familiar four-strand method.

One hand dips into a miniscule pouch belted to its waist, pulling out an elastic band it snaps around the lustrous hank. It climbs back to burrow invisibly in the unbraided portion.

Flipping the rope over his shoulder for a quick inspection, Duo praises the monkey's efforts: "Superb as always." When he scratches his head, a contented coo can be heard from its depths.

"Oh. My. God," Quatre breathes. "I've been wondering how it was so neat and even, no matter what time of day." He eases around Duo and peers into the monkey's nest. A pair of ebony eyes blinks owlishly.

*ook?*

*poke*

"Hey, don't do that!" Duo swats the probing hand away. "You'll make him nervous."

"But what is it?"

"He's a hair monkey."

"What the... where did it... how does it... isn't that unsanitary?" Quatre stammers.

"He prefers to be called 'Steve'." Coupled with Duo's chill correction, the beady stare makes Quatre retreat a few steps. "And he's no more dirty than you or I. Come out and say hi to one of my friends, Steve."

*ook!*

The weeny animal leaps onto the blonde's arm. Screaming and running in circles, Quatre flails at Steve. "Get it off! Get it off!" Steve grimly hangs on to the flapping limb, redoubling his grip until Quatre slumps to the ground in exhaustion.

*ook-ook? kwee*

Steve snuggles, curving his tail about the boy's wrist. Hesitantly, Quatre reaches out and pets the animal. "Oh. He's so soft." As he continues to stroke the dense chocolate fur, his eyes unfocus. "So... soft," he mumbles.

Reluctantly taking his hand away, Quatre notices a light scent coming from the monkey. "Herbal... and--" He rubs his fingers together.

"It's a natural conditioning agent. A mutually beneficial relationship, as far as I can tell," Duo explains.

"How long have you and Steve... um, known each other?"

Shrugging, Duo pulls his monkey off the sleeve and gently lays him on Quatre's head. Steve quietly grooms the short hair and nestles atop his newest perch. "I'm not sure. Just woke up one day and he was there. Hey, you don't look a gift horse in the mouth, right? Besides, he doesn't ask for much--only the loose strands."

"Whatever does he use them for?"

Again comes the noncomittal movement.

"Let me get this right: you let a hitherto unkown variety of primate live on your scalp in return for a tangle-free, brush-less existence?"

Amiably nodding, Duo plops down next to Quatre. "Pretty much on the button. Do you want one? Maybe Steve can arrange things for you..."

"Um, I don't think so. Maybe you can get back to me when you come across 'Eugenia the clean underwear pixie' or 'Norbert the dental floss gnome'."

"Gotcha."