Smoothing a bandaid across the bridge of his nose, Duo leans back on the hardwood floor.

My god, that pig is so vicious. I've got bites on my arms and legs. Weeny bites on my head, chest and back.

I've even got *ouch* bites on my little bum. How'd he do it?

With a tiny groan, he spreads out where his bed used to be. After the exhausting 'Battle Royale' in the living room, Duo had crawled back to the relative safety of his empty room.

Nothing left but a world of hurting. No furniture, no clothes, no money, no food and --for damned sure-- no friends. *sigh*

There's a knock on the door.

"Come in." Ain't nothing nobody wants here anyway.

Wufei limps in, his black eye the only other visible testament to the power of "Jupiter Coconuts Cyclone" unleashed upon a mere mortal.

"Here to apologize, Fei-chan? That's all right--I won't make it too excrutiating."

Scowling, Wufei reaches up and unscrews the solitary lightbulb from its hanging support. A slight sizzle of flesh on heated glass is the only sound as the room is plunged in darkness.

"But... but why?" Duo begs, scrambling around on his hands and knees.

Stalking out, Wufei shoots back before snapping the door closed, "You're using too much electricity, Maxwell. Too much of a drain on our resources."

Alone in a black void, his resolve crumbles. "Real men don't cry," Duo mumbles to himself. "Real men... sketti..."

*sob*

*sniffle*

He shuffles over to a corner and curls into a ball. Slowly, he starts to fall asleep. One hand drops to the baseboard, encountering a soft resistance.

Huh? Muzzily, he clamps the form and brings it close.

Oh, my little dust-bunny. I remember rescuing you from Trowa's first cleaning spree. Although you did not ask for it, I nurtured and sheltered you. When you were strong enough to strike out on your own, you remainded here and chose to share your life with me. Raising your children in the shadows of Wufei's wrath, Trowa's determined neatness and Heero's... well, I don't know what the hell's wrong with him. Anyway, all that took courage and strength, little one.

Petting the puff, Duo snuggles it to his cheek. Thank you for being my friend. My final and most true friend.

*yawn*

*snort*

*gag*

*cough*

"Damn it! Even you're against me!" Duo gasps and tries to clean the fuzz off his tongue.

Surely this is my darkest hour.

*chink*

*clink*

*flap-flap*

He scurries over to the door, probing his pockets for matches or a lighter. Holding aloft a burning match, he rocks back on his heels in astonishment.

It can't be...

"Ow!" Shaking out the stub, he then sucks the injured fingers before striking another light. In the flickering glow, he beholds the beauty, daring to breathe its name.

"Sketti."

With the final match, he reads the accompanying note: "I'm so sorry. It's all my fault you've suffered so. Sorry--- A Friend."

Stuffing his mouth with the forbidden delight, Duo mulls over his saviour's identity. Could have at least used somebody else's startionery... really-- "From the desk of Q. R. Winner." The tiny frolicking lions and camels are cute though.

A full tummy happily gurgling through the miracle of digestion, Duo begins to plan his way to paying Wufei back.

Down the hall, Quatre jumps into bed and pulls the blankets up to his chin. "Now I can sleep without feeling so guilty."

"Did you just hear something?"

"Um, no, Trowa. What do you think you heard?"

"A low chuckle... no, more like a maniacal laugh being carefully stifled. Oh, well." He shuts the book he was reading and turns off a bedside lamp. "I've got more important things to tend to."

"I should hope so," Quatre purrs.

Wufei bursts into the house the next morning, P-chan bounding along behind and oinking merrily. "What a glorious day! Nothing like a good workout and ten-mile run to get you ready for breakfast, eh, P-chan?"

*ernk!*

They pile into the kitchen to find a large covered platter on the table. Checking for obvious traps and sneaking down the hall to assure himself the other pilots were still abed, he cautiously looked over at the pig.

"You didn't...?"

*oink*

"Well, you were with me the whole time, so I guess that lets you off the hook. But who could it be?"

*oink, skwee*

"Alright." Wufei removes the dome, unveiling his worst nightmare: the severed head of his beloved stuffed panda ringed with shredded bits of a polka-dot sheet.

"Nataku!!!!!!!!!"

Duo turns over on his side and smiles before embracing the peaceful sleep of the avenged.

Owari

If you missed out on the related ficlet, The Visit, go on and please read it.

If not, head on back to Part Two and try to recapture the magic.

Can't believe what you just read? Well, just go on and e-mail the author, Mel with questions or comments.

HTML created on Feb. 21, 2001 by Mel of M&Em-chan.