Dammit... It was bound to happen... I keep hearing this song... It keeps screaming "write a 1x2!!!" but I kept ignoring the little voice, because this song has probably been done before... but today the little voice had a machine gun, so this came up.
Lyrics will be in italics. Also, I have put both English and Japanese words up here... Thanks to http://geocities.datacellar.net/SouthBeach/Channel/3905/index1.html for the lyrics & translations...
WARNINGS: It might suck, because I really wasn't up to writing it. Dammit. Oh yeah, shonen ai and a little sap and angst. And MAJOR SPOILERS for Episode Zero, and probably the series itself. Read this only if you're thoroughly familiar with the entire series and Episode Zero.
Oh yeah, and all characters belong to their original owners, blah blah blah, disclaimers and that kind of crap apply, yada, yada...
Tatazumu kinou no yukue o sagasu sotto tozashita kioku no yami
Tomadoi kizutsuki oreta tsubasa de utsuro ni mitsumeru ginga no umi
Searching for yesterday, frozen in time, into the darkness of quietly sealed up memory,
Confused, with injured and broken wings, I gaze into the sea of the Milky Way.
I lie asleep, or at least pretending to, with Duo next to me. I can hear his gentle breathing, as calm as the smile on his face. I look up towards the ceiling. It is covered with those glow-in-the-dark plastic stars. Duo had insisted that we cover our room with them. I let him have his way, as I usually do. Soon our room was covered with glowing stars. It had bothered me at first, but Duo had told me that it reminded him of how the sky at night on Earth. Now, when I look at all the shiny points, I feel at peace.
As I lie on my back, I think about my past and what brought me here, to be with my fallen angel.
My earliest memory I have was when I was with Odin. He had taught me a lot of things, he taught me how to survive. Between his death and my landing on Earth in Wing, my life was just a blur of continuous training. By that time, I had lost almost all of my emotions, my feelings. I didn't have a will to live for the sake of living. I only found fulfillment in accomplishing missions. There was only one objective in my life: complete the mission at all costs; my world revolved around missions and completing them.
Then he entered my life. I remember when he had offered to take me and my gundam in for a while after he rescued me from the hospital. I had never met anyone like him; that zest for life, and care-free nature. But my emotions didn't get the better of me, or rather, I wouldn't let them. I took parts from his gundam and fixed up mine. I finished late that night, about two hours before dawn. I was too sore and tired to fall asleep. So I walked out of the hangar into the night. I looked up into the sky and saw the moon and all the stars. The stars were bright, but not as bright as in space. The moon left an eerie glow on the seascape. The sea reflected everything in the sky, the line of stars that was the Milky Way left a creamy line of white on the water's surface.
Kaeru basho o toki o ushinatta monotachi
Nan no tame ni habataku no ka?
You who have lost a place to return to,
What do you keep flying for?
When the colonies teamed up with OZ, I didn't feel as betrayed as I should have. Maybe it was because I didn't truly feel at home with the colonies. Maybe it was because the colonies brought back too many bad memories. The little girl and her puppy... I think I kept fighting to prevent people from dying needlessly.
Tatoe kimi ga hohoendemo yasuragi o sutete kaze wa mau
Kage mo naku hikari mo nai ikari to kodoku ga kousa suru ashita e
For instance, even if you smile, the wind dances without rest.
Without shadow, without light, toward tomorrow where anger and solitude meet.
But it was really to keep alive. I fought to keep myself alive. As a gundam pilot, I had to survive. And in order for me to survive, I had to fight. Then there was him. His smile, his attitude... I rescued him from OZ's grip, because I didn't want to see him die. I was going to kill him myself; he was nothing more than an obstacle to my mission. But when I saw him in the prison cell, a serene expression on his face, I didn't want to shoot him; more like I couldn't bring myself to do it. I wanted to take him into my arms and hold him. However, I couldn't do that; there was a war going on, and in war, there is no time for kindness and love.
Ate naku hirogaru musuu no seiza kutsu oto dake yoru ni tokeru
Kogoeru kokoro ga muchiutsu kodou o nemureru daichi o yuriokose yo
The constellations are spread out limitlessly, only the footsteps are dissolving into the night.
The heartbeats are whipped by the freezing heart, shaking up the sleeping earth.
I left him there in that colony, taking it upon myself to complete the mission before us. But his image never left my mind, of him lying in bed. I sat beside his bed for hours at end, watching him sleep.
Did you know I was there? Did you feel my hand brushing the hair out of your face? That final night... I watched the stars from our window, and then I quietly left. I froze my heart that night, and I hoped that you could thaw it later.
But no... I had no time to care too much. Missions needed completing, Romafeller needed to be destroyed. But maybe...
Tooku takaku haruka yume wa tadayotteru
Dare no tame ni habataku no ka?
The distant dream is drifting, knocking far away.
Who are you flying for?
I am flying for the colonies... for Relena... no, for myself. To prove that I can make a difference without having to follow someone's orders. I know Romafeller is wrong, I can feel it. My mission goes as plan, life goes on. The war quickly draws to a close, the prior events all coming to a wonderful climax, when peace will finally be achieved. Relena said that in a speech. She's strong, stronger than me. But there's one other person who is stronger than even her...
"What's your dream?"
He asked me that, on a sunny day in the colonies.
"My dream... I have no dream."
Then why do I feel that non-existent dream slipping away from me the farther away I get from you?
Tatoe kimi ga hohoendemo fukinukeru kaze wa kizukanai
Yorokobi mo itami no nai kyuukutsuna ima o tobidasou ashita e
For instance, even if you smile, the wind blows by without noticing.
Let's escape from this confining present, where there is neither joy nor pain, towards tomorrow.
A bright smile on your face, it's all I ask.
Ai shiteru. It's all I want to say.
But fate pulled me away from you. You had your own business, working with Hilde... I had things to do, working with the Preventers, and working as Relena's part-time bodyguard... But something was missing. Was it you? A cheesy grin missing from a photo, a flirtatious wink missing at my lonely dinner table... Yes, something was missing.
There's something I have to get back. At all costs.
Tatoe kimi ga hohoendemo yasuragi o sutete kaze wa mau
Kage mo naku hikari mo nai ikari to kodoku ga kousa suru ashita e
For instance, even if you smile, the wind dances without rest.
Without shadow, without light, toward tomorrow where anger and solitude meet.
I went back. I went to the colonies, sending a letter in advance to say that 'a mysterious visitor' would come to see you. [1]
The surprise on your face, the smile that played on your lips while you ran to me... that's what I remembered most. The kiss, and the grass beneath us as we tumbled through it... I'll never forget that moment. I cling to it like a lifeline. But as we make new memories and experience life together, I start to strengthen that memory with all the new ones.
Tatoe kimi ga hohoendemo fukinukeru kaze wa kizukanai
Yorokobi mo itami no nai kyuukutsuna ima o tobidasou ashita e
For instance, even if you smile, the wind blows by without noticing.
Let's escape from this confining present, where there is neither joy nor pain, towards tomorrow.
I look back down at Duo's sleeping form. I smile softly, and then with nothing else to think about, I settle down into the warmth of our closeness. I wrap my arms around him, and I fall asleep.
Tomorrow, I can spend another day with the one I love. And just for that, I would give up anything.
[1]: This was that scene at the end of the Endless Waltz OVA, where Hilde hands Duo that clipboard, so attached to all the other papers and documents, was the letter. ^____^ I think someone said that in an e-mail, so I was inspired.
SAP FEST!!!!! WHEEEEEE! Anyway, send comments to topace12@hotmail.com