Yet another songfic... This time to a Jewel's new song, Standing Song. It's a beautiful song, go listen to it now! This fic MIGHT be a continuation of my Hotel California fic... maybe. Well, no, it has nothing to do with it; it just has some ideas that are borrowed from it. But read that anyway, if you haven't already. Unless you're freaked out easily, then don't read it. Because it freaked me out too. And I wrote it. Yeah. I'll stop rambling now. ^_^;
Anyways, this is from both Duo's and Heero's POV. Yeah. It's got shonen ai. Yeah. 1st person POV. Yeah. I'll be switching between POVs, but you should figure it out. At least, I hope so. If not, then you haven't watched enough Gundam Wing. ^_^;
WARNINGS: OOC. AU. AT. Too many damn acronyms. 1+2/2+1. Sap. Angst. If you're depressed/lovesick/easily touched by sappy things, then be warned, this may affect you...
Oh yeah, and all characters belong to their original owners, blah blah blah, disclaimers and that kind of crap apply, yada, yada...
Cuttin' through the darkest night in my two headlights
Trying to keep it clear, but I'm losing it here... to the twilight
As I drive my jeep through the cold Sunday night, I think back to the dream I had, where I was stranded in the middle of a dark highway just like this one. I don't remember much of the dream, or maybe it's just that I blocked the memory from my mind. I turn on my brights, but the darkness is too deep and even my military-grade headlights can't cut through the night.
The end of my braid whips into my face, and I grab it quickly and wrap it around my neck in hopes of stopping it from lashing out at me again. I've got to get home, or else that worry wort is going to yell at me for being late. That, and I have a job interview tomorrow afternoon. If I get home by dawn, then maybe I can catch a few hours of sleep. Maybe if I just drive across this field, I could save myself some time. After all, my jeep doesn't have 4-wheel drive for nothing. Hey, what's that thing—!
*CRASH*
There's a dead end to my left, there's a burning bush... to my right
You aren't in sight, you aren't in sight
That baka never comes back on time. I sit on the couch, watching some late night movie. I run my hands through my short, unruly brown hair for the hundredth time tonight; it's my nervous habit. I'm not paying attention to the movie, of course. All my attention is on the front door and window, watching for his telltale jeep lights, his slender form crashing through the door... Where is he?
I walk outside of our small townhome, staring out into the night sky and the dark street. The streetlight casts a dim shadow on my form as I stare into the blackness. The parking lot to my left is silent, as if all the life in this area went dead and quiet. The crackling sounds of a bonfire in the center of the complex catch my attention. Maybe he's over there.
I make my way over to the group of kids throwing twigs and leaves into the fire. They look up at me and wave.
"Yuy-san, how ya' doin'?"
I tell them I'm going okay, and I ask them if they've seen Duo.
"No, we haven't seen him all weekend. Don't worry, he's probably partying somewhere."
"Baka," I mutter under my breath. I thanked the kids and went back inside. I watched the movie for a few more moments before turning off the television and heading up to bed. I ended up staring out the window for a long time. I shouldn't worry about him so much; I mean, he's just been my roommate for three years, an old college buddy who wouldn't leave me alone. He even took it upon himself to 'keep me company' during my post-college life. He can take care of himself. But...
"Where are you?"
Do you want me, like I want you?
Or am I standing still, beneath the darkened sky?
Or am I standing still, with the scenery flying by?
Or am I standing still, out of the corner of my eye?
Was that you passing me by?
I woke up in a soft bed. The scent of coffee and chicken soup wafted to my nose, waking me fully. I took in my surroundings. Was that... Heero?
"Ohayo, Duo-chan. Do you want some soup?"
"Uh... sure."
This was weird. Heero usually used the term 'Duo-no-baka' when he was addressing me. From what I've gathered, that means Duo the Idiot. This was certainly not right. Wasn't I just driving down a road? How could I have woken up in this nice house, with Heero making soup for me? And to have him call me by an endearing term, 'Duo-chan'...
But, if this was a dream, then by God, don't let me wake up.
Mothers on the stoop, boys in souped-up coupes on this hot summer night
Between fight and flight is the blind man's sight and the choice that's right
I sat on my porch, watching the fireflies settle down after the night's dance. I watch as a red convertible drives up to one of the houses, only to have an old lady come out and yell at the driver. Yet another mother screaming at her child for being late. The hot temperatures are driving everyone's tempers to their limit.
I suppose I could look for him. Or I could just go back inside and get some sleep, or do something productive. I could stop wasting my time out here.
... I'll wait until morning. I wouldn't feel right if I didn't.
I roll the window down, feel like I'm, I'm gonna drown in this strange town
Feel broken down, I feel broken down
I walked outside of our nice cottage, with its white picket fence and cleanly trimmed lawn. I felt as if I had been here for years. A small breeze picked up and played with the end of my braid as I put on my black cap and headed towards my red convertible.
"Be careful at work today, Duo-chan!" Heero called from the front porch. I smiled at him and nodded before setting out to work. But something didn't seem right. I stopped the car, reversed, and parked back in the driveway again. Heero watched me with puzzled eyes. As I stepped out of the car, he walked up to me.
"What's wrong? Are you not feeling well?"
"It's... this. You, me, we..."
"You... you don't love me anymore?"
"It's not that! It's just that..."
"Duo-chan? Duo?"
I sank into a pit of my own thoughts... Something was missing, something was gone... something that I missed. I felt broken and lost, as if someone had dropped a blanket over me and shanghaied me to Antarctica.
Do you need me, like I need you?
Or am I standing still, beneath the darkened sky?
Or am I standing still, with the scenery flying by?
Or am I standing still, out of the corner of my eye?
Was that you passing me by?
Kuso... Where is that baka? That stupid, idiotic... cheerful, wide-eyed baka... I stare out towards the mouth of the complex, hoping to see his jeep come around the corner...
"Heero?"
"Sylvia." She was our neighbor. She always took care of our garden when we were away, and we always looked after her cat when she was away.
"Looking for Duo?"
"Yeah."
"You really should tell him."
"Tell him what?"
She smiled mysteriously. "Your face has the look of longing sketched onto it. When he comes back, let him know how much he means to you."
I turned my head, refusing to let her see my eyes. She can read people like a book, and I know what she'll say next.
"You know I'm right, Heero-kun. See you later."
I watch her walk away, and wonder if her last remark was due to arrogance or a lifetime of experience.
Sweet sorrow is the call tomorrow
"Duo-chan... Duo-chan..."
I watched Heero's form shimmer and disappear. Then everything became black again.
I awoke a second time to find myself tangled in a bush. A rather soft bush, thankfully. It had broken my fall. In my foolishness I had hit a rather large rock that I didn't see, and now my precious jeep was totaled. I got up and stretched, wincing at the sharp pain in my side. Then I winced again at the pain caused by my wincing. My side had a rather nasty bruise and a few stinging cuts. My face had a medium-sized cut running from a centimeter below my eye down to right above my lip. I tried not to wince again as I slowly surveyed my surroundings. I was about a couple of miles from home. I could walk the rest of the way, with some effort. I started down the long trail back to my house, where MY Heero was.
I felt a pang of sorrow in my heart, the part that wanted the nice little cottage with the white picket fence and the nicely trimmed lawn. The part that wanted a loving and affectionate Heero by my side, and a 9-5 job on the weekdays.
But mostly, I just wanted to be with Heero. When I get back, I'll tell him I feel. I could have died tonight without telling him, but apparently there is a God, and He gave me a second chance. I'm not going to waste this one.
Sweet sorrow is the call tomorrow
It's dawn. I take one last, long look around the corner before heading inside. I can't help but feel a little nervous, perhaps even worried. As I make my morning coffee, I keep glancing at the door, expecting him to come in. I've never worried about him like this. I hope my feelings will call him here. Maybe Sylvia is right. Maybe I should tell him how I feel.
When he comes.
Do you love me, like I love you?
Or am I standing still, beneath the darkened sky?
Or am I standing still, with the scenery flying by?
Or am I standing still, out of the corner of my eye?
Was that you passing me by?
Ah, a familiar dead end, a familiar bonfire dying in the morning sun. Home, I finally made it. The pain in my side is killing me, and the cut on my face is feeling worse. But now... Heero will help me. He'll probably yell at me first, but he'll take care of me. I know he will. He always has.
This time I'll let him know that I love him. I love him for what he's done and for what he will do. I love every bit of him, even the cynical, pessimistic remarks. Heero, don't me pass by... Please tell me that I'm not just standing still, and that you'll love me the way I love you...
Are you passing me by? (Passing me by)
Do you want me? (Passing me by)
The door opens. I drop my coffee. Duo stands, silhouetted by the light of the sun.
"You know, it nearly killed me to get here," he says with a smirk on his face.
I remain silent, and he looks as if his joke was lost on me. Then I smile, surprising him immensely. I stand up and walk over to him. I glance at his wounds, taking them into account.
Then I grab him and hug him like there was no tomorrow.
"Ack, Heero... you're crushing my ribs."
"Gomen." I smile again, and he starts to get nervous. "What?" I ask.
"I... thought I'd never see you again. I... I want to tell you..."
I hush him quickly. I know what he's going to say. "I love you too," I whisper.
His smile is so broad that I'm afraid he's going to rip open that cut on his face again.
Do you need me, like I need you too?
And do you want me, like I want you?
"So, you love me?"
"Yes, I love you."
"I love you too, Heero-chan."
"Heh, Duo no baka."
Are you passing me by?
Well, that was sapped filled, I hope. I'm not quite up to par with my sap skills lately. Anyway, send comments to topace12@hotmail.com
Copyright 2001, Top Ace.