Full name: alexsson svensson goffeysson

Real name: Alex Goffey, quite possibly

Do you remember the 1980s?: i slept through it. and vomited on my mum's shoulder (I was a wee tyke).

Least compatible starsign: well, i am scorpio, so i must fight with cancer. we scorpions do not like dangerous diseases like that. or at least scratch them out.

What's for dinner tonight?: fish and chips that are not even authentic because my mum, not the takeaway shop, is cooking.

What did your mum make of your fame?: she wept and demanded why i didn't get an A+

Does your passport request or demand?: i think my passport is about 6 years out of date. There is a photo of me as a wee 8 year old in it. so my passport requests, i do believe.

What is the cost of 15 balls at $0.85 each?: the sarcastic 8 ball just told me that it was a dumb question, and i should ask another one. according to other sources, the answer is $12.75, excluding GST.

I buy 3 lettuces at 85c each and 4kg of carrots at 40c per kg. What do I pay?: Reliable calcualator source tells me that it is $3.75. However, if that was from nazi woolworths, then lettuces would be $1.29 and carrots would be $3.99 per kg.

So, Matthew, what inspired 'Composition-Improvisation nr. 1'?: my last debate with the hare krishna girl on the other team and my profound use of words such as 'paralogism' and 'sophism'.

If there was a public execution on TV, would you watch it?: no thanks, i'd rather flush the toilet.

Can you urinate in front of another person?: no, i don't believe i can!

Have the charts gone down the toilet?: they got flushed while i was watching that public execution.

Are the Bloodhound Gang being nice to you?: no they're not, they're only nice to beings like caboolture cecil, who gets paid to wear their beanie.

How do you feel about the success of Blink 182?: the same way that i feel about working for nazi woolworths. i could flush them all down the toilet.

Last time you played London, you told the audience about the cyst on Adam's bollocks. Why?: he wants everyone to give them a nice big rub.

What's been the most rock'n'roll event of your career so far?: beating up a girl from school, kate, at a party just so i could play 'Downtown' by Petula Clark on the jukebox!

Are you an 'it'-girl?: of course. i set trends, you know.

Recording on lo-fi was certainly a bold move on your part. How did the idea come to you?: it didn't come to me. my tape recorder does it by itself. it is possessed by the ghost of dinosaur jr.

What would happen if you dug a tunnel through the centre of the earth?: i would reach china.

Why can't Americans spell 'centre'?: because americans are unco and only have 27 words in their vocabulary, interspersed with filler words such as "like" and "you know".

If you could be one electrical appliance, what would it be?: a heater, because i am so hot! :D

i've got a new apartment baby wooooo!