well first of all she made a page like this about me first - which leaves modern society with two mainstream philosophical viewpoints to take on this matter, namely:esmwyth! esmwyth! dim blewyn o'i le!
translation: this is why fergus goes off like a japanese space rocket
*1* she was going to join the Wallabies but they wouldn't let her because she knows about their weetbix conspiracy
*2* she is the editor of Cosmopolitan
*3* she turned my chest into a profitable business venture
*4* she does not need any DOTR cds for her efforts
*5* she is aware of her role as an educational advisor and writer of poetry essays
*6* she took all of my sins and wrote a pocket novel called Smelly Donkey
*7* there is a rare and valuable mechanism in her brain that prevents her from calculating unnecessary and pointless maths
*8* she actually thinks NZ being run by women is a good thing unlike girls at my school who are all fascists
*9* she is the operator of her pocket calculator
*101* she has a dial-your-S&M-thrills service
i will put up more when i get a contract signed with Hallmark Greeting Cards to perfect and redirect my cheesiness skills
take your shoes and go outside, stride over stride, walk to the tide, 'cause the doors are open wide