Title: Alternate Identities, Part VIII - Virtue, Wisdom, Justice, Life, Trust Author: Mina, Warrior Princess Rating: PG Feedback: sailor_v@mail.com Disclaimer: The Samurai Troopers were created by some damn awesome Japanese guy, that I don't know the name of, but that I would like to lavish with excessive praise for creating such wonderful anime men ^-^ The Ronin Warriors were created by some talentless American dub guy. That is all. :) Author's Note: Hola mina-san!! Welcome to yet another new chapter. And in this one, still more new characters are introduced :P ... yeah, I know. I just like characterization, that's all ^_^ This time the Ronin Warriors come in. Warning: it's messed up, but kinda funny :P Sailor Moonies who are reading this off MoonRomance.com and have no clue as to who the Ronin Warriors are, bear with me here. ^_^ People Whom Know Me and 'Are' the Ronins in this Story: Yet again, bear with me. Ryo on Crack, please don't kill me. :P Bryan, please still be my friend now that I made you Kento. :P Mike, you barely know me, you stupid freshman, you... ^-^ so don't take offense :P Kyle, you also barely know me, so take it up with Ryo on Crack :P .. And to Brian, if you weren't already aware of this (which I'd kinda be scared if you weren't aware because the rest of the world is o_O), all my love goes out to you, my one and only ::sighs in desperation:: .. teehee. (He would never be reading this anyway :P ...) Something I should mention here: That 'Guy' I Know (Darius, you people know him as Darien in the story) and his (ach-LOSER! *grins evily*) friend are supposedly getting together and doing a MST3000 of Alternate Identities. That auta be funny, eh? ^_~ Well, if they actually get around to doing it, I'll be sure to mention it again and probably post it on my Venus site. (*IF* they get around to it... *sighs*) That's 'bout all. Too-dee-loo! Venus-sama :) http://www.geocities.com/codename_sailorvenus ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ A l t e r n a t e * I d e n t i t i e s ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ p a r t 8 - v i r t u e , w i s d o m , j u s t i c e , l i f e , t r u s t "THIS STORY *S U C K S*!!!!" I exclaimed. Sophomore, I am going to KILL you for writing this screwed up literary work. Anyway, I'm Shane Summers... also known as ::sigh:: Ryo on Crack. I HATE that name. And if I get my hands on that little freak Venus-lover for writing me into this, um, *cough* .. 'story'... she is going to die. As to my current situation? Well, I'll just say that being stuck as a character in a low budget fanfic like this one is better than my CURRENT situation... "Hey, It's not KATE'S fault if she's a sucky author..." "Don't give me that BS! You're just saying that because she's your girlfriend!!" "Exactly how long've we been here, anyways?!" "I believe we've been here a few hours or so." "How the hell do we get out?!" "Beats me." "Oh, wonderful. I think I'm going to shoot myself if I have to spend another minute here with this dork and the annoying senior named... um... what was your name again??" "Believe me, being trapped in a Time Warp with four lower classmen is most certainly NOT the way *I'd* like to spend my Thursday afternoon either!" "Thursday?? I'm pretty sure it's Friday..." "That'll be *QUITE* enough from you, fruitcake!!" "HOMOPHOBE!!!" "Can ALL OF YOU just BE QUIET for a minute so I can introduce ourselves?!?" : : s i g h : : Alrighty, back to business. The person who commented about Kate's writing ability was Bryan Green, her 8th grader boyfriend. (Gee, bet you couldn't guess that by his sticking up for her.) The one who asked how long we've been here is Matt Brooks, the freshman. The one who answered that question is a sophomore, Brian ::sigh:: Peaches, of all the dumb names. Venus, you have issues. MANY of them. (AN: Yes, I know, but I am the author so THERE!! MUAHAHA!!) The one who used the profanity was Stuart Kyle, another sophomore, but everyone just calls him Kyle. He's supposedly Brian's best friend. And then there's me, the senior, the one who's stuck as the narrator of this retarded chapter of this retarded story that evil little brunette Kate wrote one day while she was on crack with her friend Psycho Sailor Moon on Steroids. (Don't ask where the names come from... inside jokes.) "You're going to PAY FOR THIS MINA!!!! One day... YOU *WILL* PAY!!!" "Shane, quit screaming at the air and figure out how the f*** we're supposed to get outta here." "What, do I look like the leader to you??" "No, but you're the senior! Doesn't that make you the smart one??" Not that I'll argue with that, but... (AN: SHANE, YOU ARE A STUCK UP JERK!!!) errrr.. *growls angrily* Oh, and just for the record... Sailor M*****y is NOT Satan. Censored again?!? Damn you, Venus. I am SO going to find this transcript and burn it...! (AN: And I'm going to hurt YOU if you don't stop arguing with the Mina: The All Powerful Author and start HELPING OUT THE OTHER GUYS!!!!) Oh, fine. What else do I have to do while I'm narrating. Oh... look... it's a demon. Whatever shall I do. (AN: SHANE!!!!!!) Alright, alright. A pair of menacing evil demons instantly appeared in the nearby distance, and their dark profiles struck terror in the hearts of the five men as their shadows wavered immensely in the cool, crisp, air of the- (AN: ERRR!!! I know you have 'good verbal skills', but for CRYIN' OUT LOUD..) So a bunch of demons showed up. Brian screamed like a girl, and started clinging onto Kyle for dear life. Kyle shoved him off of his arm and started grumbling "ew..! fruit..!" and a few other 'choice' words at random. Matt and Bryan simply ran in the opposite direction, and left me to fend for myself against the demons. How considerate of them, right? "Listen. Um... you... evil.... demon... thing.... you... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!" Okay, so the 'reason with it' approach wasn't exactly working too well. "DO SOMETHING!!!" "NO, YOU!!!!" "LET GO OF ME, YOU FREAK!!!!" "I'M GOING TO WET MY PANTS!!! CERRA! PLUTO! SAVE US!!!!!" Man oh man, Venus, do you need to get a new obsession... your little 'man' is the biggest wimp I've ever met in my life... (AN: Okay, so he doesn't exactly work well under pressure! Give him a break!!) T r u s t ... "AAAHH!! Peaches, your forehead is glowing!!!" Kyle screams. "It is!?! What the-?!?!" "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?!?" Adds a confused Bryan. "It means Trust, you idiots!!!" "TRUST?! Since when do YOU take Chinese?!" Kyle continues, to me. "That's JAPANESE, and just... erm, TRUST me on this one okay?? Brian, say 'Armor of the Torrent... DAO SHIN'!!!" "Um... uh... Armor of the Torrent, Dao WHAT??" "SHIN, you moron! SHIN!!!!" "Erm... shin!! Yeah, that's it! Armor of the Torrent, Dao Shin!!!" * cue a transformation sequence in which Mr. Peaches is transformed into Mr. Torrent (aww... they're not naked like the Sailorsenshi .. :P how pathetically sexist of those anime artists .. obviously male... teehee) * "WHAT IN GOD'S NAME--?!?!" "HA!!! I KNEW IT!!!" "WHAT AM I??? WHO AM I???? WHERE AM I????" "Calm DOWN sophomore and say 'Super Wave Smasher'!!" "WHAT?!? WHY?!?" "JUST DO IT!!!" "Geez.. o-KAY... Super Wave .. Smasher?-AAAAIIIIII!!!!!" * cue another sequence, this time the Torrent Yari lets out an AWESOME and huge-ass wave type thingie that envelops the demons, totally blowing them away, and taking them completely by surprise, of course ^_^ * Hey, Mina Warrior CRACKHEAD... quit over inflating your 'man'! That was a really weak attack, even for the Armor of the Torrent's sad standards! ! ! (AN: That's MINA CRACKHEAD PRINCESS!!!) WHATEVER!!! "WHOA.... PEACHES OF ALL PEOPLE HAS POWERS... AMAZING, SIMPLY AMAZING......" "Oh, be quiet you...! You four are just lucky that I saved your butts!!" "Yeah, RIGHT! If I wanted to I could have taken them all on myself, WITHOUT powers!!" "Oh, yeah?!" "YEAH!!!" "S H U T U P !!!" L i f e ... "Huh??? Now the freshman's forehead is glowing???" "It's the Life Kanji!!!!" "The WHAT?!?! NOT ALL OF US TAKE CHINESE, YA KNOW!!" "That's J A P A N E S E !!!" "Whatever it is, it's not English, and that's all I speak... so if you want the five of us to actually find a way OUT of here than I suggest you speak my language so that I can *understand* you!!!" W i s d o m ... "Not AGAIN... and where the freak is Kate?? I want to kick these stupid demons' asses and find MY Kate....!" J u s t i c e ... "Armor of Hardrock?? So that would leave..." V i r t u e ... "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" "Ummm... Kyle?" Brian whispers. "I think Shane just lost it..." "NO, PEACHES! DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS MEANS?? I AM THE BEARER OF THE ARMOR OF WILDFIRE!! AND THE ARMOR OF INFERNO!! AND-" Kyle decides to put his two sense in. "That's all wonderful, really. Just one little question... WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!?" "Armor of Wildfire... DAO JIN!!!" * cue a transformation sequence in which the messed up senior named Ryo on Crack turns into Ryo Sanada, aka bearer of the Armor of Wildfire (thank GOD they're not naked... teehee) :P * MESSED UP SENIOR??? Why you little...!! "Holy s**t!! So what are WE supposed to say to turn into those weird costumes?!" "Armor of the Strata, DAO INOCHI!!" "Armor of Halo, DAO REI!!" "Armor of Hardrock, DAO GI!!" And so the five handsome young men (with the exception of one Brian Peaches) were transformed into the brave and daring soldiers known as the Ronin Warriors, and alas, the new legend has begun. (AN: Hehe... that was pretty gay, Shane... *snickers*) Oh, YEAH?? Let's hear YOU do better!!! (AN: Fine. Here goes... W I L L the Ronin Warriors be able to stand up to the demon threat??? Will the Sailorsenshi be able to save them from the future???? Will the Brave and Beautiful Sailor Venus ever find her true love?????? And most of all, will they E V E R get outta that DAMN TIME WARP?!?! Find out in the next *cough* exciting chapter of ALTERNATE IDENTITIES!!!) ::sigh:: I just don't believe it. NOW she's starting to sound like that narrator at the end of the episodes. I've created a monster... I guess I really *have* made a mistake introducing her to Ronin Warriors... ..... A *BIG* mistake. Till next time... -Ryo Sanada. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ e n d p a r t 8 ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^