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I was on a desert island with lotsa famous people. I was on the island with Sigmund Freud, the group B*Witched and the white guy from 'The Shawshank Redemption'. We were stranded there while the captain fixed the boat.
We're all sweating and playing in the trees and this guy comes up and says he's D'Angelo. We don't question him for some odd reason; we accept him with open arms. He became very helpful during the later summer months, as we were stranded until autumn. When autumn came, he was different.
One night we were all sitting around the commons area of the ship and we had just finished eating. D'Angelo still has a knife in his hands and announces that he has something to tell us.
Plainly, he says,"I'm not who I said I was. I'm not D'Angelo. I've come to take over the ship."
We were all shocked by this and the faker threw the knife into the table for emphasis. No one was prepared; we didn't know martial arts or anything worthwhile for this situation. For some reason, I just looked at him and thought to myself,"Oh hell no."
I whipped the knife out of the table and tossed it to Shawshank. The liar got very mad and got in my face and said,"You fucking bitch! You are DEAD! Better watch your fucking back."
I said,"Whatcha gonna do, kill me? Go 'head, man, kill me. Cut me up and season me with lime and Lawry's season salt."
He walked away and pointed at me threateningly. Whatever.
Later on in the year, we had to work in the kitchen together. He was mashing breadfruit and I was cutting onions. I sat down and took a break because the onions were making my eyes water. The charlatan took a chance on me being off-guard and came at me with a long wooden spoon. He grazed my right ear with his swing. I got up and looked at him...
...and I grabbed him and punched him twice in the face. I then choke-slammed him into the sink that was full of dirty water and dishes and he sank all the way up to his waist. I saw the garbage disposal and thought I should turn it on. Deciding against it, I pulled him up and choke-slammed him onto the tile. I started to feel stuffy and I said to him,"Oh that's just it. Going upstairs."
The ersatz jerk followed me up the stairs, telling me that he's seen the error of attacking me and all that shit. I notice that he keeps trying to get ahead of me. While the impostor was apologizing his heart out, all my mind was telling me was that if he got in front of me, he would push me off the ship. Just as we reach the glass door to get outside, the guy pushes me.
I look back at him...
...and I throw him through the glass door. Everyone else is sunning on the deck and I'm romping with this creep. They jump up in suprise. I lose it again and choke-slam the jerk onto the deck. Shawshank looks at the mess on the ground and then looks at me and asks me,"Dammit, what's wrong with you?"
I look dead into Shawshank's eyes from across the deck and I say in a loud tone:
"Ever since this guy came up and thought that he was gonna take over the ship, he's been nothing but a thorn in our side. He just tried to take me out with a spoon in the galley! I didn't stand for it when he announced his stupidity before and I won't stand for it now. He's pushed me and I'm pushing back--because in case he didn't know I AM THE ANGRIEST BLACK MAN ALIVE!!!!!!"
My voice begins to give out as I feel the power in my arms and the sun on my back...
I woke up in a cold sweat this morning. My chest hurt and my heart was racing. My arms felt like they had been throwing someone around. I didn't know what to make of it, but I didn't like what I saw in my head or what I felt.
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