Our strangelove couple, James(right) and Alice the WhirlyGirl.

OK, I hope this doesn't sound like I'm weird or anything(not like the Jimmie Rodgers Collection or Uwe Boll preoccupation hasn't given it away), but I think I've fallen prey to a phenomenon. Her name is Monet Mazur.
Actress, lead singer of punk band Nancy Raygun and recent MILF, Monet Mazur first made me wonder what Torque was all about. It's because of her that I saw the movie in theaters, not the motorcycle jumpsuits. They were bad-ass, but not as slick as she made hers look. It's her wardrobe in the reviewed film, WhirlyGirl, that gets my attention and the attention of every boy at prestigious Walden Preparatory School for Boys in upstate New York.
Enter James(Julian Morris, CRY_WOLF). He's a British foreign student that ends up at a crazy party his friends threw on campus. While there, he encounters a legend amongst the late-night party circuit: the infamous WhirlyGirl(Monet Mazur, Monster-in-Law, 40 Days & 40 Nights.) She's not an exotic dancer nor is she a hooker; the WhirlyGirl just knows how to drive men wild. Luckily for the plot, WhirlyGirl is a kleptomaniac and steals James' sentimental watch. This triggers a journey into the darkest part of New York City(read: Queens) and surrounding parts on par with Risky Business, complete with sexual escapades and awkward emotional encounters. Chief among those encounters is the one with WhirlyGirl's married sugar daddy Ralph(David Garrison, "Married�with Children"[TV], Creepshow) It all boils down to letting go and alternately doing the right thing, which now that I've read that back sounds very confusing. Oops.

CHOICE CUTS

• Monet Mazur's glossy lips, strong chin, bangin' bod, etc.
• Wait, are all frat guys rapists? No wonder I never made the line�
• I'm sorry, but that guidance counselor is a dumbass.
• No negroes were harmed in the making of this film�I hope.
• When I found out that WhirlyGirl's real name was Alice, I immediately thought about the book Go Ask Alice and the Jefferson Airplane song "White Rabbit". Once the script began to tell Alice's story and open her up against the backdrop of New York, the song and book fit--but only partially.

After staring at the case at the video store for months now and only renting it because of a gift card, I finally got to see what this WhirlyGirl thing is all about. I was so glad that her role wasn't anything like Rollergirl from Boogie Nights, but the story lacked emotional weight and common sense. The idea of hope for both James and Alice makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, so I'll give WhirlyGirl a ReViews rating of 6 out of 10 anyway.
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