WILL THE REAL DUMMY STAND UP
...Who fired who? -----*****-----
...Little Old Lady Thinks Like A Child!
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...With a Little Help from Our Friends!... -----*****----- ...And What Was Plan B? -----*****----- ...And These Nitwits Are Teaching Our Children?!!! -----*****-----
...Some Days, It Just Doesn't Pay to Gnaw Through the Straps -----*****-----
...The Getaway... -----*****----- ...Have I Got a Deal for You! -----*****-----
...Too Well-Educated
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...Did I Say That?
-----*****----- ...Ouch, That Smarts!
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...Are We Not Communicating? -----*****-----
...Not the Sharpest Knife in the Drawer!
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AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
"intellectual leadership". He received a $26 million severance
package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence...
In California, there lives this girl who has for 18 years carried a cross for her old High School sweetheart, in fact, she's been humiliated, ignored, and ridiculed by her ex-lover but she's still in love or maybe delirious about him... she talks about him to her best friends constantly... dreams about him and even fantasizes about their past... unknown to all but only two of her friends who are also "crazy" with each other.
"THIS JUST GOT TO STOP!!!" is the advice of all, but still... how hopeless life would seem if you are living in a shell of a heart with a monster which is your past.....
Should I call him and rekindle some old flame? Should I write to amend my past faults? Should I wait and hope for the best?
I say NAY!!!
Thou shalt not live in the past!!! Thou shalt honor thyself by leaving well enough alone!!! Thou shalt never use up all the self-respect you still have!!!
Like what Donnie Brasco said....
Forget about it!!!
Look in the mirror and find the faults you've given towards that person and amend your debts... not the person who abandoned you!!!
You really owe yourself a lot!!! Really!!!
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear
gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting to please come out and give himself up...
An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts...
A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-day suspension under his elementary school's drug policy last week - for Certs! Joey Hoeffer allegedly told a classmate that the mints would make him "jump higher."...
And a student in Belle, West Virginia was suspended for three days for giving a classmate a cough drop. School principal Forest Mann reiterated the school's "zero-tolerance" policy...not to be confused with the "zero-intelligence" policy...
Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month --- a short in the homeowner's newly installed fire prevention alarm system. "This is even worse than last year," said the distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and stole my new security system..."
A man walked in to a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
More than 600 people in Italy wanted to ride in a spaceship badly enough to pay $10,000 a piece for the first tourist flight to Mars. According to the Italian police, the would-be space travelers were told to spend their "next vacation on Mars", amid the splendors of ruined temples and painted deserts. Ride a Martian camel from oasis to oasis and enjoy the incredible Martian sunsets. Explore mysterious canals and marvel at the views. Trips to the moon also available.
"Authorities believe that the
con men running this scam made off with over six million dollars"...
In Medford, Oregon, a 27-year-old jobless man with an MBA blamed his college degree for his murder of three people. "There are too many business grads out there," he said. "If I had chosen another field, all this may not have happened..."
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
A bank robber in Virginia Beach got a nasty surprise when a dye pack designed to mark stolen money exploded in his Fruit-of-the-Looms. The robber apparently stuffed the loot down the front of his pants as he was running out the door. Mike Carey, "with an explosion taking place inside his pants." Police have the man's charred trousers in custody...
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.
Hmmm...wonder what he uses for a knife?
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