(Standard disclaimers regarding copyright infringement and malice and having food and beverages near your computer while reading this. Mostly written on the evening of January 26th, 1999, as I try and overcome my guilt trip for not calling my mom last night, even though it was her birthday.)

So the episode begins with the Narrator from Hell, and if my translations of what the Narrator from Hell had to say make him sound like he is a 300-year old kung-fu master from a bad kung-fu movie, I know I am doing a good job of translating, and anyway, he tells us that the Science Ninja Team attempted to escape from the Turtle King, and for those of you who don't remember what happened in the first episode of Gatchaman, a giant turtle-shaped mecha appears and makes a great big nuisance of itself, so of course the Science Ninja Team has to infiltrate the mecha and set bombs and try to escape. So the Narrator from Hell tells us however, like how narrator-specific is that word, "however", the Godphoenix's wing gets caught in the Turtle King's door, and so they are stuck and they can't get away, which is kind of bad when there is a time bomb ticking away, compliments of Galactor. Then we get a shot of Ken shouting "SCIENCE NINJA FIREBIRD", like does this guy have to scream everything, I mean, your entire team is  sitting within a 5-meter radius of your vocal cords, and then we hear the NfH tell us that the moment Gatchaman gave the order, the Godphoenix's generators were pushed into the red zone, and the Team could barely stand the pressure and heat caused by the friction between the ship's body and the atmosphere, and the Science Ninja Firebird meant risking their lives, and if you didn't understand this sentence, it's not my fault, because that is what the NfH tells us, and then NfH says at last, the door which had caught the Godphoenix's wing was melted by the Firebird, and the Godphoenix soared high in the sky, like, um, my home prefecture, Gunma, is supposed to be a major producer of corn, but NfH has got it beat, and the monster robot which had terrorized the citizens fell into the ocean as fragments, completely destroyed, and Galactor managed to escape in the escape ship, which was built in the head of the robot, and his speech ends with a rhetorical what will its next target be, and I am thinking I don't know, but, let me guess, you're going to tell us, aren't you?

So now there is some kind of rocket drifting in space, and we get a shot of the Earth below, and an astronaut, who is, of course, male, says that they, "Mantle 8", have just completed the entire space flight plan, and that they will now head back to earth, and then the Communications Officer on Earth says some stuff that is supposed to make us think that they are being really technical, like we get the point already, and the other astronaut, who is also male, says blast switch on, we are ready, and let me point out that one out of every three Japanese astronauts is female, thank you very much, and the communications officer does a countdown, and then the rocket ignites as the ground crew looks on, and the first astronaut says that everything is peachy keen, and that they're going to land somewhere in the vicinity where they planned originally to land, and the communications officer says roger, and hollers at the ships who are supposed to pick the capsule up to go pick the capsule up. So there is this weird (in a neat kind of way) editing where we get a shot of the ships sailing with happy music in the background, and then we get a shot of the capsule with a synthesizer pinging away on one note, and then we get another shot of helicopters taking off from the ships sailing with the same happy music in the background, and then we get another shot of the capsule with the synthesizer pinging away on the same single note, and then we get a shot of the ships heading for the landing site, and then we get a shot of the capsule being detached from the rest of the rocket, with the same synthesizer pinging away on the same single note in the background, and then we get a shot of a helicopter heading to the landing site with happy music in the background, and then we get a shot of the capsule, only this time, we still have the same happy music in the background, and the capsule's parachute opens, and the capsule lands in the water, and the water around it turns yellow, so I guess the capsule must have urinated or something, and I remember that once the ex-BF and I got into an argument because he mentioned that he never looked for a toilet when he went to the beach, and I said that was absolutely disgusting, and he replied that sewer water ends up in rivers and streams which end up in oceans, so there is no significant difference, and I replied that it was a matter of 1) how old the waste material from the anonymous person was when it came in contact with your skin 2) how concentrated the waste material from the anonymous person was when it came in contact with your skin, which he didn't buy, so if any of you see the ex-BF at the beach, I strongly advise you to either find another beach or get as far away from him as you can. So we see two Ray-shaped mecha extend cords to the capsule, which is still floating in the water, and inside the capsule, we see sparks coming out of the console and the astronauts are freaking at the fact that they are seeing sparks coming out of the console, like maybe those ray-shaped mecha were supposed to be electric rays or something, and the two rays have the rocket in tow and take it away into the depths of the deep blue sea.

Oowashi no "Wonder Boy (because we wonder about him all the time)" Ken is sitting at his desk, only he has his feet on his table/ desk, like this thing about putting shoed feet on tables must run in the family or something (please note that this PD is written after the one for Episode 22), and the view is from a reall cool angle that has us looking at him from between his feet, and he has a small turtle crawling on the back of his hand, and let me say that (1) for a turtle, it sure moves quickly (2) can we let up with the overly obvious pseudo-symbolism already? And Ken is talking to himself, as I try to remember if talking to yourself is a diagnostic criteria for schizophrenia, and Ken goes on to himself about how the Turtle King got away this time, but it is sure to show up again somewhere, and I would like to point out that they flame broiled the entire turtle except for the head, and even though turtle head soup is supposed to be a great delicacy (no, I haven't ever tasted turtle head soup, though I did have anglerfish liver the other day), I wouldn't exactly call that "letting it get away", I mean, it was a turtle, not a worm, it's not like the rest of its body is going to regenerate the head or something. And his bracelet flashes, and he goes this is G1, and it's Dr. Nambu, of course, and he has emergency orders for Ken to assemble with the rest of his team, and await further instructions out at sea, and Ken wants to know what is going on, which seems reasonable, even if all one was doing is play with a turtle, but Dr. N says that he'll explain later, and just do as he says for now, and Ken is like whatever, and he runs out, climbs into his Cessna, takes off, yells "Bird Go" and goes to Birdstyle, so I guess that poor turtle is still crawling around the floor, trying to get back into its aquarium, or whatever container Ken had set up for it.

Standard stock footage of Ken's G1 craft fitting itself into its place in the Godphoenix which will probably be recycled about, oh, I don't know, 105 episodes, though you really have to admire the people at Tatsunoko for taking such good care of their stock footage cels so that they can actually use the darn things as many times as they do.

Ken enters the Godphoenix cockpit in the elevator, and as he runs in, the wings of his Birdstyle suddenly grow about a meter and billow all around him, which is really weird, and Joe asks Ken if he knows what is going on, and Ken admits to knowing about as much as Joe does, and Jinpei comments that the Turtle Monster has probably shown up again, and maybe Jinpei means that the Guardian Angel of Turtles has come to haunt Ken for not taking better care of his pet turtle, and Ken says over his bracelet that they have assembled and are awaiting further instructions, and right on cue, Dr. N appears on the monitor, which makes a lot of sense, I mean, if they can talk to each other over a monitor-based communication system, what is the point of Ken talking into his bracelet, and Dr. N tells them that a manned rocket carrying the Earth Compact Device has disappeared from its landing site in the South Pacific, and I am like what on earth is an Earth Compact Device, and Ken is like what on earth is an Earth Compact Device, and Dr. N tells us that it locates and records the location of underground resources, such as uranium, and so apparently it is just another wonderful invention on the bright horizon of the future given a Tatsunoko (read: pseudo-English that makes no sense) name. Jinpei says that he thought it was like one of Jun's cosmetics, which is a pretty cute line, and Jun says that he is so silly, no way would they carry something like that in a spaceship, and I begin to wonder which would be more practical during space travel, cake or liquid makeup, I mean, in a zero gravity situation, you could end up with globs of liquid makeup floating around in the air, but on the other hand, you would have serious trouble trying to dampen your sponge to apply your cake makeup. Dr. N tells the Team that they're supposed to locate the missing astronauts and the Earth Compact Device, and Ken says roger, which I have no problem with, and then Ken, who looks rather ugly in this view from below,  shouts GO, and he (1) shouts it, like, calm down, kid, (2) shouts it in English, like, it's not like you are actually speaking the language, it's more like you are trying to make some kind of a fashion statement, and before you English speakers agree with me about how silly it sounds when a Japanese speaker suddenly says "roger" or "go" or "oh my God" or "#@&$ you", please take a look at yourselves and think back at whether you have used some sort of pointless Japanese word (like, for example, "ne?") in your daily conversation as some sort of fashion statement, because you probably sounded just like Ken, and please note that I am not saying that you shouldn't practice Japanese for the sake of improving your Japanese conversation skills, but what I am saying is that the aesthetic effect of tossing in a pointless word from another language that has not made it into daily use in the language being spoken is pretty much the same in any language.

The next scene takes place in the so-called Ocean Floor Mothership, and we see Galactor Green Person descends by elevator and enter the command center, and tells the Commander, who is wearing a green mask with some sort of green protusions, and I cannot decide whether they are supposed to be whiskers or a mane, but anyway the GG tells the Cdr that everything has gone as planned, and the Cdr is very pleased, and tells the GG to set the cassette into the computer, which the GG does, and hits a switch, and on the monitor, which is part of a table, we see a map with locations that flash red, and the Cdr laughs and points at the red dots, and says that is where the Earth's underground energy resources are located, and that he's going to report to Berg Katze, and he speaks over a monitor, saying that they have completed the capture of the spaceship Mantle 8, and that they are going to send the data with their respects, like how do you send data with respect, and Berg "Purple Doberman on Speed" (copyright Lori MacDonald-sama) Katze says well done, and we see ticker tape, which PDOS, who is not wearing lipstick today, reads, I mean, it's the future, where you can locate underground energy resources by snapping pictures from space, and the transfer of data is done through not an e-mail file attachment, not an FTP, not a LAN network, but TICKER TAPE? And PDOS says to himself that he's going to see what Soosai "Giant Blue Chicken" X has to say, and we see the GBC and we hear it say into a large, empty, metal garbage can, listen well, Berg Katze, these underground resources, including uranium, are not plentiful, however, all the nations of the world are after uranium, as are we, take all of the uranium on Earth, and conquer the world, construct our great undersea uranium factory  over the largest uranium mine in the world, and if I were the leader of a large organization, I would not want to construct a large base over a collection of a radioactive substance, but PDOS just says yes sire.

Meanwhile, the GP is flying over the ocean, and they see where the capsule urinated, and Ryu is like oh, that's where the capsule urinated, and Ken tells him to dive into where the capsule urinated, and Ryu is like whatever, and the GP dives into the water, and we hear flute music and there are coral reefs and fish in schools and the sea tirtle which I suppose is the one that they harrass later in episode 5, and Jun squeals oh how pretty, and Ken says that the Science Ninja Team doesn't have time to admire scenery, like would someone take Ken to the proctologist and have them surgically remove whatever is up his butt? And Jun , who is very nively drawn in this shot, says ooh, you're scary, and in Japanese, she says "Oo, kowai!", and I used to have an American friend who insisted on having his hair shorn really close to his head and had this seriously scary grin, but inside he was very sweet with a weakness for Alice in Wonderland (both Lewis Caroll and Disney versions), and so it became a joke among us that "Matt is kowai, or maybe it's kawaii, because, of course, (we) ignorant 'merikens can't tell the difference". And Ken hollers to prepare to engage the underwater radars, I mean, I am sure none of your teammates are hearing impaired, or maybe they have noise induced sensorineural hearing loss from all the yelling you do, and correct me if I am wrong, but I think sonars would work better than radar underwater, but Jun yells roger and runs to take her seat in front of the so-called radar console, and suddenly there is a bright light and then we get live action  footage of dust rising in an aquarium, and Ken yells some more, and Jun says that the radiation meters are showing abnormal readings, and Ken yells even more, and the GP rocks with the impact, and then Ryu yells that the joystick won't work, and Ken yells it's a whirlpool, we're being sucked into a big whirlpool, all right, leave it to me, but if I were in any kind of trouble, leaving my fate to Ken would probably be the last thing I would want to do. So Jinpei runs back to his seat, and Ken sits where Jinpei was sitting, and then we get the Informative Segment of the Episode as Wonder Boy tells us that the center of a whirlpool is fairly still compared to the rest of it, so fasten your seatbelts and hang on, and  for some reason, the inside of the GP is lit dark red, I mean, it would make some sort of sense if they were doing Science Ninja Firebird, but they're not, and the GP approaches the center of the whirlpool, and Ken yells at Ryu and Joe to pull the joystick as hard as they can at his signal, and Ryu and Joe yell roger as they place their hands on their joysticks, and Ken yells here goes, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, GO, like by golly Wonder Boy has to be cool and use English when he gives orders, and by golly he has to be cool and yell when he gives orders, and they climb to the surface, and Ryu says all right, we made it, and Joe breathes a sigh of relief as he adjusts his collar, only he doesn't look very much like Joe in this shot.

Then Ken says, oh, I see, and I am thinking what now, and Ken tells Jun to let me see the radiation monitor readings, and Jun says O.K. as she hands him a cassette, and Ken pulls out the tape from the cassette and looks at it, and says that the abnormal readings came with the bright light, which means that someone must have set off a nuclear bomb, and I am thinking that it probably doesn't take a thermonuclear explosion to raise dust in the bottom of an aquarium, and Ryu says what, a nuclear bomb, and Ken gives us the Anti-War Message Segment of the Episode by telling us that underwater nuclear experiments are forbidden by international law, but someone conducted one anyway, and that they are going back into the ocean, and Jinpei freaks, and Ken tells him not to worry because it won't be like last time, so I suppose they are going to navigate more carefully so that they won't raise dust in the aquarium anymore.

Commercial break.

So they are back in the ocean, and they see a whirlpool, and Jun squeals Ken what is that, like since the people around US Naval and Air Force bases in Japan sue the government for reimbursement for the windows broken by the sonic booms from all the military aircraft, maybe I should sue Tatsunoko for all the eyewear shattered by Jun's voice, and we see that there is indeed a whirlpool, and we see that a boulder is sinking, and Ken tells Ryu to put the infrared filters on, and I thought that to see infrared rays, you are supposed to add infrared sensors to your monitors, as opposed to simply taking away visible light, which is what a filter would do, but Ryu says O.K., so Ryu knows less about physics than I do (which is a really scary thought), but by golly, he has to use English and sound cool like his so-called leader, I mean, what is this Japanese obsession (which continues to this day) with English, you see all these ads for English conversation schools, and they make it sound like learning English is going to change your life and you are going to have all these fabulous job opportunities, and you are going to be so fabulously cool when you learn to speak English, when chances are all that will happen is that you are going to turn into some Roppongi club wannabe type that gets picked up by some American military wannabe type, or even at best become a loser website maintainer who at age 27 has no life and keeps a loser website that rants about an anime that 99.7% of the general poplulation has forgotten about, and is there anything that could possibly be more annoying than the commercial for the English conversation school "Aeon", who uses Celine Dion for its spokesperson, and if that weren't bad enough, they advertise it as "With Celine, at Aeon", I mean, how obnoxious is that, IT DOESN'T EVEN RHYME ALL THE WAY! And the so-called infrared-filter is turned on, and there is an undersea craft of some sort, which was visible only with infrared filters (as if) as opposed to everything else that could be seen so clearly underwater, and Jinpei says gee, that's big, it's a monsterous mothership, and Ken is all it was Galactor's doing after all, the manned capsule must have been by that Underwater Mothership, they got their hands on the Earth Compact, and now they're after a giant uranium mine, and if Ken has to make a big thing out of something that is so obvious, maybe he should go watch the Star Wars trilogy 100 times, and Ryu says all right, let's fire a missile at it, and Ken yells at Ryu don't be so stupid and grabs his hand, and Ryu looks unhappy, and Joe reminds Ryu that the astronauts of the spacecraft might still be held prisoner in that Monsterous Mothership, and Ken tells Ryu, who still looks (understanably) unhappy because his so-called Teammate yelled at him, to take the Godphoenix where they can't see them, and that he's going in alone to penetrate the Mothership, and retrieve the Astronauts and the Earth Compactor Device, and Jinpei wants to go too, and Ken says that he'll attract less attention alone, and to not worry, and to wait for further orders, and leaves, and Jinpei says that Ken's going to regret his saying that he didn't need Jinpei, and Joe says Jinpei and gives him a look, and I am not going to comment on this one.

Ken is in the elevator of the GP, and he yells Bird Go and does that flourish with his left arm, and turns back into his civilian clothes, and we see him leave the GP in scuba gear, and you notice that his nose is OUTSIDE his mask, which, as anyone who has ever gone scuba diving could tell you, would probably cause you serious pain, and is kicking really fast, which would tire you pretty quickly, and is something that they tell you not to do in scuba classes, and you notice that his hands are bare, and we see the escape pod/ head of the Turtle King, and we see Green People with welding torches, intently constructing the so-called uranium factory, or perhaps the GBC meant an uranium refinery, and there's a vehicle shaped like a crab that swallows iron bars, and Ken hitches a ride on an elevator  into the Monsterous Mothership, and once inside the Mothership, he takes off his wetsuit, and we see that he is wearing his civvies underneath, and they AREN'T EVEN SO MUCH AS DAMP, and he heads for the capsule of the spacecraft, and he climbs into it, and he sees the mutilated control consoles, and says it was their doing after all, and, just as we all expected, a floodlight hits him, and I guess Ken didn't expect it, even if we did, because he says "Oh!" So the Commander, who doesn't look at all silly in that mask which can't quite decide if those green things are hair or whiskers, says how nice of you to come and get caught, and Ken freaks and does the arm flourish thing to go to Birdstyle, and you notice that he is wearing a blue glove as he does the arm flourish, so you begin to wonder when he put the glove on, and leaps out of the capsule, and the Green People fire machine guns, and Ken leaps out of the line of fire and kicks at a floodlight and shatters it and then jumps down on a Green Person and gets him in a neckhold and then the floodlights are after Ken again, and so he throws his Birdrang thing at it, shouting "Birdrang!" as he does so, of course, and then he gets hold of another Green Person, and holds him in front of his own body, and the Birdrang comes back and becomes lodged in the poor Green Person's body, then Ken yanks the Birdrang out of the poor guy's back, throws it again, shatters another floodlight, and then he goes running and kicking more Green People, and there is some really neat animation as the floodlight tries to keep up with Ken's movement but it can't quite keep up with him, and the Commander looks down at Ken standing in the beam of the floodlight among the fallen Green People.

So the Commander says hmm you are quite good, go, and fortunately he speaks in Japanese, like how pathetic is this Gatchaman realm where the only people speaking pure Japanese are officers of Evil Terrorist Organizations, and all the ceiling lights are turned on, like why didn't they have the lights on in the first place, and a Green Person turns on a switch, and a...

large...

drill...

attacks Ken...which I am not even going to comment on.

So Ken keeps leaping out of the reach of the...drill...and turns cartwheels in a perfectly straight line, which is admirable because I always fell off when I was a littler, more slender person than I was now and tried to do cartwheels on the balance beam, and as I slip out to wash my mind under running water for 10 minutes to cleanse it from the dirty thoughts that crossed my mind when that drill started after Ken, this time a crane hook comes falling toward Ken, and it drops right on top of him, and the Commander gloats, but he is startled to find Ken standing on the hook with a smile on his face, and swinging it back and forth and higher and higher and higher and he does a very annoying war cry as he swings himself and the hook into the control room, shattering glass and such, and the Commander tells Ken to stop acting like a fool, and I really hate to break this to the Commander, but it is in Ken's  blood to behave the way he does, so it is really kind of pointless to tell him to stop, and the floodlights point to the astronauts at the beginning of the episode being held by the Green People, and Ken freaks, and the Commander tells him to give himself up if he wants to save the lives of the astronauts, and so Ken says hostages, I have no choice, and he jumps off the crane and stands in front of the Green People, and the Commander gloats, and says to shut him up in the bottom of the mother ship, and that they'll get the screts of the Science Ninja Team and Dr. Nambu out of him later, and Ken turns, and the bodies of the astronauts are crumpled on the floor, since the Green People are no longer holding them up, and the Commander snickers that bodies come in handy sometimes, and Ken is all how could you do something so awful, and SINCE WHEN DO EVIL TERRORIST ORGANIZATIONS (especially ones in anime) CARE ABOUT FAIR??? And the Commander says that his friends are still out there someplace, tighten security, and capture the rest of them, is that understood, and the Green People (or what's left of them) are like whatever.

So Ken and two Green People are going down an elevator, and as they reach the bottom, red and yellow bolos wrap themselves around one of the Green People's neck, and as the other Green Person freaks, Ken throws him and says all right, take us to your leader, and the elevator climbs back up, and we see Jinpei looking down from the top of the elevator shaft, and Ken says good timing, and Jinpei is all Joe was worried about you going alone, so I should go too, I told you you'd need me, and Ken's face crumples into a smile that isn't even cute, and he says yes you did.

Then the Commander is being slammed against the wall by some raging psycho, oh, it's Ken, so like I said, the Commander is being slammed against the wall by some raging psycho, who yells tell us, confess, where have you hidden the Earth Compact, and he grabs him by the collar and slams him against the wall some more and he yells some more, tell us, tell us, where is the Earth Compact, tell us, tell us, TELL US, and the Commander is all I can't breathe, it's in the computer, and Jinpei says I've found it, and while he is there he presses buttons randomly, and the mother ship begins to move, and he presses more buttons and it causes an explosion, and Jinpei freaks, which is kind of cute, and the engine room explodes, and there is general confusion, and missiles in the arsenal explode, and there is more confusion, and there are more explosions and more confusion, and we get a shot of Jinpei and Ken in scuba gear, swimming away from the exploding ship, and you wonder how on earth Ken and Jinpei had time to collect their scuba gear where they left it when they each initially entered the mother ship.

The Commander is passed out in the control room, and as he comes to and gets up, PDOS is on the monitor, and says you've failed again, and the Commander begs for forgiveness, and PDOS chews him out for letting the Turtle King be turned into scrap metal, then letting the mother ship be turned into scrap metal, and that he should look at how the GBC is upset at him too, only all we see is the GBC flickering on his monitor or whatever it is, and it probably is hard to convey emotion when all you can do is flicker and sound like you are talking into a large metal garbage can, and PDOS chews out the Commander some more and tells him that the only thing left for him to do is to take the Turtle King and hit the Godphoenix head on, and as I am thinking but you said that the Commander let the Turtle King be destroyed, the monitor explodes.

Back in the GP, Joe tells Ken that they've already briefed Dr. Nambu on the situation, and Ken gives the order to surface, and then they see the head/ escape rocket thing closing in on them, and I finally understand what PDOS meant when he said to take the Turtle King and hit the Godphoenix, and we get a shot of the GP and we get a shot of the head and we get a shot of the GP and we get a shot of the head, Ken freaks, and yells Science Ninja Firebird, as he leans on the lever, like, if he has time to yell something like that, wouldn't his teammates appreciate it more if he WARNED THEM TO FASTEN THEIR SEAT BELTS?

So the rocket is engulfed in flames and explodes (surprise, surprise) and the Firebird is over, and the GP is back the way it was, and Ken gets up looking relieved, and looks at the other four, who are all still passed out on the floor, because Ken was too busy shouting "Science Ninja Firebird" as opposed to "fasten your seat belts", and Jun is the first to stagger up, and they look at each other, and their faces do that weird crumpling up into a very ugly smile thing, and if that weren't bad enough, the Narrator from Hell tells us that it was another victory for the Science Ninja Team, however, Galactor was already plotting its next plan for world domination, Go, Gatchaman, and I am like whatever.

---

There was an interesting discussion about the style which can be seen in different Gachaman episodes due to different staff members directing and wrtiting them. This one was written by Suyama Satoshi and directed by Toriumi Hisayuki, which means that it was written by one of the planners (the other being Toriumi Jinzou) and the chief director for the entire series. Perhaps because of this, the excellent editing the series is known for can already be seen in this episode, such as the bit where the cuts alternate between the spacecraft and the ships, or the Galactor floodlights trying to keep up with Ken's movement.