Disclaimer: If you read this entry of the Production Diaries, you will find out what happens in episode 7 of the TV animation series "Gatchaman". If you do not want to see what happens, please do not read this entry. If you worship the stated television series and are offended by any and all criticism directed at it, please do not read the Diary. The author is not associated with or related to Tatsunoko or Sandy Frank or Saban or Turner or any other of those places. The views stated in the Diaries are those of the author, unless otherwise stated. I do this for fun and not profit. All input including flames and death threats are welcome at ayakorad@sb.gunma-u.ac.jp but please no viruses or hacking as I also use my laptop for work at the hospital, and you may be endangering lives if you do so.

The episode begins in an airfield, and there is a stunt team that is flying in formation blowing smoke in the Olympic colors, in a shout out to the Munich Olympics that were held in 1972, perhaps, and the Narrator from H*ll tells us that the greatest technological progress of the 20^th century was in the area of aircraft, and the ISO, led by Dr. Nambu, has developed a new, pollution free aircraft, and today before I go off on how this whole show is obsessed with pollution free, I will remind myself that this was about the time when all the environmental law suits in Japan were surfacing, and environmental issues, at long last, were just beginning to get the attention that they deserved, so perhaps it is a good thing that they are making the eight year olds aware of these things while the Anonymous Toy Company markets its plastic dolls. 

Anyway, the Narrator from H*ll continues to tell us that today this new pollution-free aircraft will be tested and they're about to test the prototype model, and that the test pilot, of course, is Eagle Ken...

 Whoa, back up there. The pilot is, "of course", Eagle Ken? Um, excuse me, I am sure that you would not want someone who you want to keep undercover flying an Important Technological Advancement, much less someone who calls himself after a BIRD. But Dr. Nambu isn't me, so he's talking to Ken, who is dressed in a flight suit and is wearing a helmet, and bears an amazing resemblance to Speed Racer, and let me just say that I really wish that they hadn't named Speed Racer "Speed Racer" and had named him something nicer like Jason or Mark or Michael or Gilbert, anything but Speed Racer, like you'd think the main character had a substance dependency problem or something. 

And Dr. Nambu is telling Ken that if he succeeds in this test flight it will mean that all the problems of air pollution will be solved, so this is a big responsibility, and I am thinking, what about air pollution from automobiles and factories and power plants and...

 Fireworks go off, and we cut to Ken in the cockpit of the Major Technological Advancement, and he is saying this is Ken, I'm all ready so could I pretty please take off, and I am wondering which is more appropriate as a professional, identifying yourself by your first name, or identifying yourself as an avian species, but come to think of it pilots have call signs (hey I watched Top Gun too), so I suppose that calling yourself a bird is probably more appropriate. And the Control Tower says yes you may take off , and he takes off, and the control stick in his hand looks so very flimsy, and Jinpei is impressed at the beautiful takeoff, and Jun is watching eagerly, like what does she see in this guy?

And Ken is talking into the radio, and he is in the air but he's not wearing an oxygen mask or anything, and you would think that a Major Technological Advancement such as this would be flying at Very High Altitudes and nifty little things like sufficient oxygen would become rather important, but Ken is flying the plane and not me. And he is all googly about his takeoff, and then we see this black plane that looks like a ray, but this isn't episode 26 yet, so it can't be a ray, and Ken is wondering what it is too, and Dr. Nambu and Jinpei are freaking because it looks like the black whatever with a person wearing a Skull mask standing on it, is going to crash in midair with the Major Technological Advancement. 

And there is a person in a Skull mask who announces that he is the Demon of Iron, Katzen Berg, and I am trying to remember if there was a producer in Disney called Katzenberg, and there are whips attached to the black whatever, and they whip off the Major Technological Advancement's tailfin, and it goes into a tailspin into the ocean, and Dr. Nambu and Jinpei freak. Now I find what I see next really strange, because as incomprehensible as it may seem, Jun has a crush on Ken, and yet when the object of her desires looks as is it may be the last of him, she is shaking her fist in anger and ALL SHE SAYS IS "KEN!" Now, if it were my BF in the plane going into a tailspin, I wouldn't be angry, I'd be terrified, and I wouldn't just be saying his name in a deadpan tone while shaking my fist, I would be FREAKING. But that is just me. This is Jun. 

The Skull is happy that he is getting all this attention, and he whips some more things, and you see the crowd running, and one of the women in the crowd is wearing an outrageously 60's orange minidress, complete with low cut waist, and there are more explosions but the flames don't move. 

Cut to Ken floating with a parachute in the water. Dr. Nambu is asking Ken if he is all right. Ken says yes, and asks Dr. N who that Skull person, Katzen Berg was. Dr. Nambu says Katzen Berg. Jinpei says Katzen Berg. Jun says Katze. Joe says it's that darned Berg Katze, and in this shot Joe is, for some reason, very badly drawn, and looks very, very flat. Jun is like that's right, no one else is capable of doing something so evil, and I REALLY envy the simplicity of the future, like there is only one Evil Organization that does not nice things. Dr. Nambu says he understands now, why he came to destroy his new aircraft, and Ken is saying, so the enemy is Galactor, again, and he uses a four letter word, and demands to Dr. N that he engage the Team and the Godpoenix, and would someone teach this kid some manners already? And Dr. Nambu is like whatever, and the rest of the Team is like whatever. 

Cut to the rocket launch pad of a space center. The control tower is doing a countdown, and the rocket lifts off, and the black whatever comes and whips off the nose of the rocket, and the rocket explodes, which is kind of kinky when you think about it, and I am going to go wash my mind under running water for ten minutes. 

O.K., I'm back. The Skull...forget it, the Purple Doberman on Speed is all happy that he has destroyed. 

Shot of the G-1 going into the GP. The Team sees PDOS standing on top of the black propeller plane. Ryu is like there they are, he's coming this way, and Ken tells Ryu to be careful, and if I were Ryu I would be giving Ken a non-geographic location to place his backside for telling me how to do my job. PDOS is saying "I can beat you up". Ryu is saying "I can beat you up". PDOS's plane whips (literally) the GP. Joe wants to use the Bird Missiles (say it with me..."AGAIN"), but this time Ken doesn't make start about how those things cannot be fired without direct orders from Dr. N, which almost gives me a heart attack, and Joe makes it to the BM button, which is round and red with a clear, flat cover today. But it doesn't matter, because PDOS just lets a clear dome close around him, like the top of the GP, and the BM does no damage at all, and Ken is freaking, not that Joe fired the missile, but that the missile that Joe fired had no effect whatsoever. The Black Plane whips the GP, literally, again, and Joe freaks that the whip damaged the tailfin. Ken is incredulous because something damaged the GP, and wonders what the whip is made of, which I am not even going to comment on. PDOS announces that he is done for today, and will have fun destroying the Team on a different date, which I think is really, really stupid. I mean, he and the GBC are always so big on not underestimating the SNT, and always chewing out their Galactor Commanders of the Day for underestimating the SNT, so you'd think HE of all people would not just LEAVE their greatest adversary, but make sure that they killed them for sure? But that's just me, so PDOS's plane's propellers retract. And the plane turns into a rocket, and flies away, and Ryu is like there is no way that we are going to catch him, he's too fast. Ken uses a four letter word. Jun says it's Galactor's new secret weapon, like that took a lot of thought, Jun.

So Dr. Nambu is looking at fragments (which look remarkably like fool's gold) under a microscope, and says this is scary, but he doesn't really sound scared at all. Ken asks what it is. Dr. N says that Galactor has apparently invented a supermetal called Whisker...

Excuse me while I go laugh my head off for a few minutes.

Jinpei says "whiskey?" and Jun says "not whiskey, Whisker"...

Excuse me again...

Ryu says he's never heard of Whisker...

Excuse me.

Ryu says he's never heard of Whisker, and wants to know what it is, and I am all ears too...

Excuse me...(that was my fault for talking about ears, it's my own fault I am having visions of Ryu playing with a kitten...)

Dr. Nambu says Whisker is a supermetal that is hundreds, no thousands of times stronger than any other metal. And Ken and Ryu are like no wonder the Bird Missiles don't work. Dr. Nambu says that if Galactor has Whisker they don't have a chance against them and the planet will be conquered, and now I have visions of being ruled by cat with white whiskers. Ken suggests that they make weapons of Whisker too, and Jinpei is like that's right, but I am thinking, if that were possible they would have done that long ago. Sure enough, Dr. Nambu tells us that the ISO has yet to be able to produce Whisker, and that Galactor science is evidently more advanced than theirs. Ryu is demanding, does that mean that they have to keep getting their backsides whipped, literally. Dr. Nambu says that if they destroy the Secret Galactor Mill, they can terminate the production of Whisker.

All right, everyone, say it with me..."WHERE DO THEY COME UP WITH THESE NAMES??"

Narrator from H*ll tells us that the Team immediately began to search every single mine in the world, and that today is the third day, and there is a new device on the GP control panel that looks suspiciously like the Geiger counter that they have in the nuclear medicine department, but apparently it is not, because it starts clacking and Ryu looks at it and tells Ken that there is a strong magnetic field. Ken tells Ryu to close in. Ryu says whatever. Suddenly, the rock formation below opens up and missiles are fired, and Ken says so that is where they were. Ryu wants to keep heading straight for the missiles, but Ken says that if they do that they don't have a chance, so they should pretend to be shot down and then jump out and sneak into the secret mill. Ryu is upset that he has to stay behind again, and if I were Ryu, I would be too. So a missile approaches the GP, and it explodes, and the GP "goes down" blowing black smoke, and Ken gives the signal and he and Joe and Jun and Jinpei jump out.

Green Person tells PDOS that the GP is down. PDOS is all googly. The four slip in unseen, it seems, but NfH tells us that the secret mill was located deep in the uninhabited mountains, underground, and that there was no way Galactor would let them slip unseen into the secret mill, so they weren't so successful in penetrating the place in secret after all.

So the four of them are inside, if not unseen, and Jinpei is impressed with the place, and Ken is impressed with the place in spite of himself, and Jinpei wants to set off the bombs and blow it up, which is kind of cute, but Joe calls him an idiot. He says if they take down the incinerator, molten Whisker...

Excuse me. I am getting visions of kitty whiskers pouring out and covering the Team...

Sorry. Joe says that if they blow up the incinerator, molten Whisker will come pouring out all at once and they'll all be fried, which makes good sense except for the darn name, but the name is not Joe's fault. Jun asks Ken if he has a better idea, and Ken wants to go with Dr. N's plan of taking down the main computer and the nuclear reactor, like what is it with this show's obsession with nuclear reactors? Jinpei hears something, and the four of them hide, and a Giant Praying Mantis comes out. The four of them lure out the Green Person in the Praying Mantis and take him down.

Ken says he and Jun will find the computer, and tells Jinpei and Joe destroy the nuclear reactor. Jinpei wants to know if Jun is glad she gets to go with Ken. Jun tells Jinpei to go to a non-geographic location. Ken wishes Joe luck. Joe wishes Ken luck. I will not comment on this. Jinpei and Joe board the Giant Preying Mantis, and march away, which is kind of cute.

Ken and Jun lurk around, take down a solitary Green Person, and find the place where the main computer seems to be. And someone is going to have to help me with this next part, because it really puzzles me. 

Let me tell you what happened. The two of them are at the edge of what appears to be a wide cylindrical hole, and the main computer is apparently at the bottom of this hole. Jun comments that the place is kind of spooky and way too quiet. Ken tells Jun to wait at the top until he tells her it is all right. Jun agrees. Ken starts going down a ladder to the bottom of the hole. Ports open up on the walls of the hole, and we see guns pointed at Ken. Jun throws her hands up in horror, and tells Ken to look out. The guns fire beams. Ken throws Birdrang at the guns, and slices them, catches the Birdrang, twirls it like someone out of a macaroni western, and puts it back into the holster.

Now, here are the things I cannot understand. 1) Why does Ken tell Jun to stay up until he tells her it is all right? Is he protecting her from danger the way a proper old-fashioned Japanese male hero should protect a proper old-fashioned weak wimpy Japanese damsel in distress, in which case I will go ballistic on Tastunoko sexism, or was he asking Jun to cover him for danger from above, in which case he should have said "cover me" and not "stay up there until I say it is safe"? 2) Why does Jun just scream and throw her hands up in horror when those lasers start firing at Ken? We already know she cares for him, and even before that he is her teammate for crying out loud. Couldn't she have thrown her yo-yo at them or something? 3) Is Ken secretly a macaroni western junkie?

Ken, safely at the bottom, hollers to Joe and Jinpei. Joe says they're in front of the reactor, and that they'll start breaking, and I am really sure that the Birdstyles function as radiation suits, and if they're not I propose we hang Dr. Nambu by his toenails from the top of the Tokyo Tower, because what is he doing exposing young people who have yet to have children, including pre-pubescent Jinpei, to radiation? Jinpei wants to start breaking things, and PDOS, still dressed as a Skull with a red scarf, tells them not in this lifetime, and we get the standard shot of the Good Guys surrounded from above by Green People. PDOS says he knew all along that they were inside, and Jinpei is shocked, and they throw down their bolo and cable gun and Joe says a four letter word (actually it was two letters but you get the point.) Jinpei worries about Ken and Jun.

Ken and Jun are in front of the main computer, and Ken says if they can take it down, it'll stop production in the entire mill, LIKE WE GET THE POINT ALREADY, and Jun starts hacking, and Ken wants Jun to hurry, and I want to hang Ken by his toenails from the top of the John Hancock Building right beside Dr. Nambu, like would this guy stop telling others how to do their jobs? And the two are suddenly surrounded by a unit of Giant Preying Mantisis, and Jun squeals, and Ken gets in between Jun and the Preying Mantis, and I am having a really hard time keeping myself from going ballistic on Tatsunoko portrayal of females, including female members of the Elite Secret Special Team, as something that has to be protected.

Ken looks at Jun and Jun looks at Ken, and Jun jumps on top of Ken's shoulders, and they shout Science Ninja Power Whirlwind Fighter, and they whirl everything, including the Preying Mantises, and their claws dig into the main computer. Cut to PDOS disguised as a skull person, freaking that the computers are down. Jinpei all glad that Ken and Jun are faring better than they. Joe says they can't be outdone, and the two of them leap into the air and there is a big fight sequence, which confuses me because if they could do this, why did they throw down their weapons in the first place? And Joe fires his cable gun at PDOS, still in the skull costume, and PDOS yanks a Green Person in front of him, and the poor Green Person gets hit by the cable gun instead, and he falls, and PDOS gets away.

And Ken is yelling at Jun to climb faster up the ladder from the computer, and he takes her hand and pulls her, like more Tatsunoko portrayal of females as the weaker sex, like if Jun has to have others watching out for her safety, what is the point of having her on the Team? And Jun yells Ken, and there is PDOS at the top all angry because the two of them shut down the computer, and he cracks the Whisker whip, and he breaks one side of the ladder, and so they are hanging on one side of the ladder, and PDOS says he hates doing this and cracks his whip in Ken's direction again, and the fanfic people must have had a lot of fun with this one. Ken is hanging from one hand on one rung of the ladder, and Jun is hanging by Ken's other hand, and Jun throws her yo-yo at the railing at the top of the hole, and they swing up to the top, and PDOS is unhappy.

We get a shot of Jun and Jinpei firing Green Person Standard Issue automatic weapons. There is an explosion, and the alarm goes off, and PDOS freaks some more, and Ken tries to grab PDOS, but he ends up just holding the Skull suit, and Ken is impressed, and starts after PDOS. Jun stops him and says that they should leave because the mission is finished. Ken agrees and hollers at Ryu to come get them, and Ryu apparently didn't fall asleep today, because he just says Roger.

Ryu lands on top of the missile bay of the Secret Mill. Joe and Jinpei get to the GP first, and Ryu wants to know where the other two are, and Joe says they're not here yet, like NO DUH, and Ryu spots them, and Ken has to help Jun pull herself away from the molten Whisker...

Excuse me.

Ken has to help Jun pull herself up and away from the molten Whisker, like MORE sexism, and Joe hollers hurry, the missiles are going to blow. Ken uses the Whisker whip to pull the two of them up to the GP, and Jun looks strangely tired, but they make it to the GP in time, just barely, but they're not out of trouble yet, because Ryu can't take off. Ryu says the magnetic field is too strong and it is pulling the GP. Ken yells to cut to jet engines, and it takes off just in time to miss the explosion. 

PDOS is angry, and he is on the black plane, and he vows revenge. 

NfH says Galactor's Whisker couldn't defeat Gatchaman, but that they would be back, and I am thinking that there are 98 more episodes, but that I have Diaries for some of them up already.

---

Points of interest? The plane was kind of neat. And the Katzen Berg Costume was neat in a spooky way. Something you would want to wear for Halloween, although the drawback would be no one would know who you were trying to be. And the debut of Whirlwind Fighter in its two-person form. 

But it really makes you wonder what these people were smoking when they came up with the name for the Terrifying New Metal. 

WHISKER??

(Please excuse Ayako, she has to stop here to laugh at the name again. )

(^-^)/))

This page made while muttering a lot of not-nice words and sighing very deeply at MSWord97J.