Well, this PD had a long and difficult birth. As I may have mentioned, I moved last month, and so I've been without VCR until this afternoon.

This new place is near Mt. Fuji, not that I can see it from my tiny (and when I say tiny, I mean tiny) room, since the windows all face the wrong direction. And I have roach problems and ant problems and odor problems (the room, not me), but I am trying to take it all in stride. At least I think I have stocked up on first apartment horror stories to last the rest of my natural life.

Anyway, during this time, I got encouragement from lots of different people, telling me that they liked PD and wanted more, and although I do these for my own enjoyment, it is kind of nice to know that people read them and enjoy them too. Thank you, everyone who has sent me encouraging e-mail, and shout out to everyone at Center Neptune (the talker, not Zark's home) for telling me I am a fun person.

(Gee, why am I being so nice today?)

(Insert standard disclaimer regarding copyright infringement and malice, and alert for spoiler and nose cola here.)

The episode begins with the Narrator from H*ll again, and we get a shot of an island, and the NfH tells us that beneath this island, there is a town that became extinct ten years ago, called Ghost City, like since when do towns become extinct, I always thought they just became deserted, and like really creative there, naming a deserted town Ghost City, but at least they didn't name it Tombstone or something. And NfH tells us Ghost City created too much pollution, and the skies were covered with smog and toxic gases, and everything living died, and lush green shade is a distant memory, no beautiful flowers bloom here, will the time ever come when the beautiful city of long ago will return, this no one knows, and while NfH throws that rhetorical question at us, and then answers it himself, we get shot of broken street lamps and wrecked cars and broken windows, like we get the point already about the EXTINCT city, thank you very much.

NfH tells us more. "However, (standard NfH word there, however) in this ocean of death," like you'd think he were talking about the Dead Sea or something, "a new, terrifying life form was slowly about to be born," and on this cue we get a shot of bubbling green/ brown water, so we know that the Mecha of the Week is going to have a marine theme.

Cut to white helicopter, and the crew looks like they just stepped out of a bad 60's sci-fi movie, and what is it with those antennae sticking out of their heads? I mean, if they wanted to do Ultraman, they should go all the way and wear the gray spandex, too. And one of the crew, who is either the communications officer or the commander of the mission, says they are now above Ghost City, and they're going to begin a survey, and the voice on the other side of the radio says roger, and he really did say roger, or the word in Japanese, anyway, and tells them to proceed to the survey project as planned. And the officer says to his underlings to begin the survey, and all the data is supposed to be sent back directly to base, and then we get a shot of one of the control rooms in the base, and there's Dr. Nambu and Security Chief Anderson, with some assorted nameless underlings, standing around a radio and monitors and things. One of the underlings tells Dr. N and Chief A that they're getting the data from the surveillance crew, as if Dr. N and Chief A couldn't see that themselves, like they're STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE MONITORS AND ALL, and Dr. N looks at it and says the data is worse than he thought, and Anderson says that keeping the crew there might be kind of dangerous, and we get a shot of an oscillation monitor that writes a wavy line on graph paper, and it kind of reminds me of an EKG, and we hear the Officer on the helicopter counting off, smog 300ppm, 400ppm, 500ppm, like do you measure the amount of smog in ppm? And Dr. N tells them to return to base immediately, but the officer wants to continue the survey, and I am beginning to wonder if this guy isn't really Ken in disguise, because when Dr. N hollers to abort, the guy ignores him and says we are heading for Green Plaza, the center of town, and Dr. N hollers at them some more to abort, but they don't.

Bonus points for anyone who can guess what the next line was.

Dr. N freaks and yells at them to respond. Officer screams, and we see his gaping mouth and a flash of light, and we cut back to the EKG...er, sorry, smog meter thingamajig in the base, and it shows a flat line.

Next we see a pair of purple ears with headphones, and the owner of the ears are giggling , and then laughing, and then cackling, and I am wondering if Bill Cosby's skit about Noah's Ark was being played or something, but apparently what PDOS was really listening to was the conversation between the helicopter and Dr. N, and he goes off to confer with the Giant Blue Chicken, and tells GBC that the chopper is totaled, and GBC says it had better be, and that no one is allowed to come into Ghost City until the plan is complete, and PDOS says as you say.

Cut to Ghost City, shot of gray, ashen, smoldering corpses with their mouths hanging open and their eyes still wide open and gaping bullet holes in them, and smoldering copter, like I am POSITIVE they cut that shot out of BotP, and a shot of a familiar looking green bell bottom leg. And the head of a classical type statue, which is in the middle of the plaza, falls off.

Footage of GP being spray painted gold. Dr. N telling them that how his wonderful new gold spray paint will protect the GP from smog, and how they will be flying into smog like they have never seen before, and how they're supposed to be very careful. Ken is like whatever, and I am kind of disappointed that the officer in the helicopter wasn't Ken. Dr. N is like whatever. Ken tells everyone let's go. Team all stand together and all raise their fists together and all say together all at once, "O.K.!" which is really, really annoying, and to top it off, they are all VERY badly drawn in this shot. Then Ken says Bird Go, and we get stock footage of everyone posing in Birdstyle, which is all very nicely drawn, and then we see the Yellow Submarine...sorry, yellow GP in the water, and the team is all looking toward the left side of your television screen, and the GP breaks out of the water and the yellow GP flies over land and over sea.

Then we get the sound like someone fell on a piano keyboard, and we get a shot of red craters, and Ken says, oh, that's it, and then someone falls on a piano again, and Ken says how awful, and Jun says it's hard to believe there really is such an awful place, and Jinpei says if the ISO were formed sooner, this never would have happened, like we get the point about the ISO being the Important International Power that Will Save the World, and Joe says they got what they deserved, polluting without thinking, like we get the point already about the pollution, and Ryu says no kidding.

Shot of Ghost city, broken buildings and cars. Ryu asks if it was someplace around here that Mantle 1 was attacked. Jun is like no way, because there were no people here, and Ken says it could have been an accident, and you'd think it being the 15th episode and all, he'd get the idea that helicopter crashes don't happen on accident on this show. Ken says that they should look for wreckage. Ryu presses buttons, and they fly over the Plaza where they lost contact, and Ken says if this is where they crashed, the plane should be someplace nearby, like that took a four-digit I.Q. We get a shot of the statue whose head fell off earlier, and Ken says look, the head of that statue is new, I think it's safe to say that someone is here, like that took a four digit I.Q., and the statue's eye flashes, and we see that there are gun barrels pointing out from windows and traffic lights and such, and Ken says, look out, someone is trying to shoot us, like that took a four-digit I.Q. Then, Ken hollers it's Galactor, like that took a four-digit I.Q, and the GP climbs suddenly, and everyone screams, and Jinpei hollers look out, and the GP is headed straight at a tower, and there is an explosion, and GP is still in one piece, but the tower is not, and Jinpei says don't scare us like that, which is kind of cute, and Ryu says if that tower hadn't been so old and crumbly, we'd have been history, and Jun squeals the wing is going to break apart, like would someone poke out Jun's eyes please, and we get a shot of the gold wing, only part of the coating is singed, and Ken says no real harm done, and Joe says that was close, the gold spray paint saved us, and Ken says so Ghost City was a secret Galactor Base after all, like say "after all" like you knew it all along, Ken-chan, to which I would like to say "as if."

Jinpei stands in a corner and plays with his bolos, and is all wanting to get back at Galactor, but Ken says they should contact Dr. N first, and he puts his hand on Jinpei's head, and I used to hate when people did that to me, put their hand on my head like that, and Ken says our mission is to locate Galactor's secret base, and that they'll leave the rest to the UN Forces bomber squad, and over the shot of bomber squad dropping bombs, and all this debris and even an occasional Green Person going flying among flames, which is kind of cool in a morbid sort of way, but probably they didn't show the Green Person going flying admist the explosion on BotP, and NfH tells us that Ghost City was destroyed by the hands of the Bomber Squad, as if we were too stupid to see that for ourselves.

PDOS and GBC. GBC is like whatever, now that it's fully grown, it doesn't matter that the base been blown to bits anymore, like there's showing sensitivity for your lost men, but then again, since Sosai X is the Evil Leader, I suppose it doesn't care about its men. And GBC tells PDOS to tell the Undersea Base to send out the Jellyfish Lens, and I am thinking GO TELL THEM YOURSELF, but PDOS just says whatever, and by now I am getting a bit tired of rewinding the tape to see what GBC's overly acoustically enhanced voice is saying, but GBC still keeps talking, and says we shall show the world the new terrifying life form created by Galactor, and goes on to google at how brilliant he is for creating a completely new life form, and over all this googling we get shots of little wavy circles, and then the little circles get bigger, and I suppose they are supposed to be cells but they look like flowers that a 4-year old might draw for his mom on Mothers' Day, and how he shall name the new life form the Jellyfish Lens, and I am wondering why it's going to be called the Jellyfish Lens, when it really looks more like a bunch of grapes or maybe just a Lump than a Jellyfish.

Would someone please put that piano away so people would stop tripping on it?

Green Person Undersea base. Green Person tells PDOS over the radio that they're going to replenish the Jellyfish Lens with energy, and PDOS is like whatever. The Lump is pulsing, and it has a red eye that glows, and they point bright lights from the base on the Lump, and I am thinking the thing must conduct photosynthesis or something.

We have another survey group, this time in planes, flying over Ghost City, like you'd think they'd learn and not get near the place again, and one of the pilots looks strangely like Terry Salvas.

Bonus points for anyone who guesses the next line.

And they holler it is going to come their way, and that they should prepare to attack, but the Jellyfish Lens opens its eyes, and then we get them saying "AAAAUGH!!" and we get a shot of a piece of the plane falling to the sea.

Cut to base, with Team still in Birdstyle. Ken says what, Jellyfish Lens? And Dr. N tells him that that is the name Galactor has given it, and for once I don't blame Ken for doing a double take, not with a name like the Jellyfish Lens, but it gets better, because Dr. N tells us that Galactor intends to use it to rule the world, and I for one do not want to be ruled by a giant Lump, and Dr. N tells them that Galactor is making threats at them, and he shows footage taken by someone in Green City, and we get a shot of people looking at the sky with their mouths hanging open, and let me just say that I cannot understand the mentality of people having their camcoders running while their family is seeking refuge from a tornado or their neighbor is on the roof trying to keep the roof from flying off during a typhoon, like LET GO OF THE CAMERA AND GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT ALREADY. Anyway, Dr. N tells us that the Jellyfish lens takes the energy from solar rays and basically increases it (like don't even get me started on high school physics and law of Energy Conservation), and we get shots of the sea cucumber pointing rays at trains and gas tanks and buildings, and people turned to ashes and the ashes being blown away by the wind, and Dr. N tells them that the rays are powerful beyond our wildest imagination, like what is it with the scriptwriters and the phrase "beyond our wildest imagination" today, and the rays crumble concrete, turns steel into candy, and turns people into fossils, but I thought you had to be around for at least 10,000 years before you can be considered a fossil.

Cut to commercial, I suppose.

Dr. N must have been speaking through the commercial, because he is still talking, and he says that the birth of the Jellyfish lens is the birth of the devil, and he shows an image from an infrared scope, only the images are now all red, and we see a shot of crystal, and Jun says it's like a diamond, and Ken is all tell us what exactly is the lens, and Dr. N says that this is no ordinary lens, and I am thinking we kinda figgered that one out already, and Dr. N continues to say that it is a crystal, and it also seems to be a living organism, and Ken asks Dr. N if he is telling them that this lens is a life form, and everyone is red from the light from the film projector, and Dr. N says yes, and that it has to be a completely new life form grown from the sewage of Ghost City, and that it'll get some R&R and then attack again, and that what is terrifying is that Galactor can control this frightening creature, and Ken asks if Dr. N means that Galactor can make the Jellyfish Lens do what it likes, like maybe Dr. N should go get Ken's hearing tested or something, and Dr. N says that he thinks that they are stimulating its brain and telling it what to do, only I am kind of thinking that that would be more likely to cause epileptic seizures than make it do what you want. Jinpei says there is no time to lose. Dr. N is like whatever. Ken shouts they're going to get the Jellyfish Lens, like maybe Dr. N should get Ken on a Ritalin regimen while getting his hearing tested, too

Shot of yellow submarine, er, GP again. Ryu is like eew the water is icky, and Ken is all we should have looked underwater sooner, and Jinpei is all worried about what the icky water is going to do to the GP, and Ken says Dr. N's gold spray paint is going to work underwater too, and Ryu is like whatever and Ken is like whatever. And the water has lots of white stuff floating in it, sort of like the bits of fat floating in cold homemade chicken broth that hasn't been fat and scum skimmed very well, and Jinpei is like eew, I'm surprised the GP doesn't melt, and Ken says the gold spray paint works underwater too, and Jun says Jinpei needs to believe in the power of science more, to which Jinpei replies it's the power of science that got this ocean this dirty to begin with, which is an excellent point, but no one responds to it. Ken says that it's not too hard to see how Galactor could make a life form like the devil from a hellish place like this, and someone needs to help me out because I cannot understand Ken's reasoning. Ryu shouts Ken, we've got something, and Ken says we meet at last, Jellyfish Lens, and he tells Ryu to close in on it quietly so that it won't notice them, and Ryu is like whatever and presses a bunch of buttons, and Ken says the High Power Telescopic Lens has sight of the Jellyfish Lens, like we get the point about the Yellow Submarine, er, the Yellow Godphoenix being the pinnacle of Modern Technology, and Ken sees the view from the lens on the monitor, and he freaks, and Jun says "what is that?" only she says it kind of spacey, like we need a communications satellite or something to talk to her, and Jinpei says there is two of them, and sure enough there are two sea cucumbers on the sea floor, and Joe says no, there's four, no five, no eight, and Ken says no, look, and we see that there are sea cucumbers all over the sea floor, only they're little Lumps, and not sea cucumbers, which reminds me of the time my best friend from school and I went to Saipan together last summer, and we went out to the beach, and the water was crystal clear and the sky was a brilliant blue, and it was all so beautiful that we started wading in the shallow beach water just behind our hotel, but then we realize that the sand is pretty much lined with sea cucumbers, and I pick one up and the girlfriend freaks, only it was dead, but then later on during the vacation I actually stepped on a live sea cucumber BAREFOOT which was, to say the least, an interesting experience. And Ken says he can't believe it, mitosis, only IIRC it is mitosis only if a cell divides, and I am not sure if the Sea Cucumbers are single cell organisms, though you can never tell with the science on this show, and Jun squeals Ken, and I hope someone will be kind enough to just STAB ME or something and give me a quick easy death if I ever squeal like that.

PDOS tells GBC that the Sea Cucumbers are multiplying, and GBC is all googly and its head swells because it is all proud that his plan has gone so well, only it would be scary if its head were to swell because that is all you ever see of GBC.

Shot of GP surrounded by Sea Cucumbers. Joe tells us and the rest of the Team that they are surrounded, like thank you for that enlightening information. Ken says that it's too late, even if they did make contact with the UN Forces, and Jun says that they should do something while the Jellyfish Lens is still underwater, which makes a lot of sense, it having to use sunlight and all, and Ryu wants to put a Bird Missile in it, and I almost have a heart attack, because Joe says that firing the Bird Missiles is a bad idea, since they are underwater, and the pressure from the explosion will get them for sure, and Jun squeals again, like why doesn't someone just put the poor injured animal out of its misery, and Jun is like Ken and Jinpei is like Ken, and I am thinking Janet, Brad. Ken says we'll fire the missiles and surface at once, that's the only way, and Ryu is like whatever, and Ken hollers to prepare to fire the missiles, and I am thinking you are the one with the hearing disability and not the rest of your Team, and Ryu is like whatever, and Joe says something about coordinates, and Jun says that everything within 5km will be blown away, and Ken presses the button, and then they do a U-turn and head for the surface, and we see a mushroom cloud in a Hiroshima reference perhaps, and does anyone know anything about the Bird Missiles being nuclear? And the Galactor base that was shining light on the Sea Cucumbers is blown away, and we get a shot of a Green Person being blown away, thank you for the reminder that people are dying, although that little snippet was probably Zarked away, and the Sea Cucumbers float upward, and some of them stick to the yellow GP, and eat away the protective layer, and an alarm goes off, and Joe says it's the alarm, and Ken tells us that the Sea Cucumbers are eating away the protective layer, and Ken yells at Ryu to go faster so that they can blow away the Sea Cucumbers, and we get a shot of Jinpei being thrown into his seat from the G's and the Sea Cucumbers fall off, and Ken is like yaaay and everyone else is like yaay but Ken says it may be a little too early to celebrate, and I look at the clock and see that it is indeed too early, like by about five minutes, and you see the Lumps are still following the GP, and Ken is admiring their persistence, and all the Sea Cucumbers join to make a big lump, which you could kind of see coming, and Ken freaks that they're out in the sun, which means that the Sea Cucumbers can generate those rays, and the Lump is following the GP, and all the eyes on the lump open all at once, and then this ray of light comes out of the Lump, and the GP swerves out of the way, just barely and Joe is like what are you up to next, you monster, and I am thinking this is probably the first time that the Evil Weapon of the Week is indeed a monster and not a mecha, and Jinpei says it's gas, and Ken tells them to climb, because they don't want to be in the gas, especially with the protective coating eaten away, like what kind of substances is the Lump secreting? And Joe wants to fire the Bird Missiles, and I breathe a sigh of relief, since I was kind of worried about him for a second there, telling Ryu that they were a bad idea and all a few minutes ago, and Ken tells Joe that it'll only break apart into little pieces again, and for once doesn't say anything about Dr. N's orders, but he doesn't really need to, because Dr. N shows up on the monitor, with is usual grumpy look, like would someone put this guy on maintenance doses of Metamucil, and Dr. N says that the Lump breathes toxic gas, and I am wondering what kind of toxic gas, like there's nitrous oxide and chlorine gas and mustard gas, and the all time favorite sarin gas, which reminds me, when I moved to the apartment, I loaded as much stuff as I could into my little Honda City, which is, for those of you who don't know what it looks like, 1) basically a little orange crate on wheels 2) no longer made and left my house (or rather, my parents' house) with my mom at five in the morning, and the little brother, who had just done the night shift at work, arrived at the parents' house at like around eight in the morning and loaded the rest of my stuff into my dad's Honda CR-V, which is, for those of you who don't know what it looks like, basically a sport-utility-vehicle wannabe for people who want to look all outdoorsy but spend their weekends shopping or golfing or somesuch activity that does not need a million horsepower four wheel drive, and the little brother showed up in front of the apartment at around one or two in the afternoon, and my mom and I didn't want him driving home without any sleep, but he wouldn't hear of staying in the apartment overnight, and there is only one room in my apartment other than the kitchen and bathroom, so we laid out the futon for him and went shopping, and we bought a microwave, but not a VCR, and we still had time on our hands, so we went to this Skylark, which is a lot like Denny's, and we had cake and iced coffee and sandwiches and hung out there for about an hour or so before returning to the apartment, which gave the little brother some time to sleep, but the point I am trying to make is that later that week at work, the Boss (who is, I found out, a major Legend of Galactic Heroes fan, and has like all 50 books currently in print, not to mention the videos) mentions that the Skylark at the corner of route so-and-so and so-and-so is the Aum Supreme Truth Skylark, and you may or may not remember the fanatical cult that gassed the Tokyo subways, anyway that is Aum Supreme Truth, and apparently the cult leader would go to that Skylark with his followers and conduct meetings there, and there is something about finding out that you had chocolate cake in a place where someone conspired the production of sarin gas.

And Dr. N says that if they blow away all the gas, they should be able to destroy all of the Jellyfish Lens, and Red Impulse should be there soon, and that he'll keep in touch, and I am wondering if they are going to have a giant fan hanging from those three red planes or something, and Ken says Red Impulse, which is pretty much sending a gold gilt invitation to the fanfic writers, and then we get a shot of the red planes, and for a second I am having visions of a badly done children's puppet show, with the planes being held up by sticks, only it's not that, the three planes are flying with a big tank or something hanging from underneath them, and RI says that they've brought pure oxygen under high pressure, which is what is in the tank, and I am wondering how those freaking JET FIGHTERS took off from the ground WITH THAT DARN THING DRAGGING BEHIND THEM, like can you say combustible, can you say explosion, can you say Ken's dearly departed Dad being a really dearly departed Dad? And RI says something about dropping the thing on top of the Jellyfish Lens, and that the rest is up to them, and Ken hollers Hinotori and the rest of the team freaks, and Ken says just do it, and all the eyes on the Lump are starting to open, and the Lump changes color, and Jun squeals it's changing color, and Ken says it's going to blast those rays again, and Jinpei says like we'd fall for the same thing twice, and I am thinking DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED, and RI yells now, and the tank falls, and Ken yells Kagaku Ninpoo Hinotori, and the Lump's eyes open wide and melt, and we get the stock footage of the Team being thrown back into their seats, and the Hinotori flies through the Lump and comes out the other side, and the eye flashes, and the Lump turns white and explodes, and the GP is yellow again, and Ken opens his eyes, and says we won, and I check the clock and decide he is probably right, and they all gather around their Fearless Leader, and they clasp hands, and RI raises his hand and says well done and leaves, and Dr. N is on the screen all congratulating them, and Ken is all gloating, and Dr. N says that the ISO has plans to turn Ghost City into a wonderful lush city of green, like leave it up to a bureaucratic organization to act AFTER something like the Glowing Lump has destroyed a city, and Ken is like oh that's nice, and Dr. N is like it's all thanks to you, like generous remark complimenting hero of the show there, and Ken wants to circle around Ghost City, and Jun says that maybe they should just head straight home, the GP being as badly beaten up as it is, which is a very good point, but Ken is like let's go, the GP can handle it, and Jinpei is like go Ken and Joe puts his hand on Jinpei's head, like if I were Jinpei I would poke his eyes out for that.

And I have my finger held on the pause button to stop to take down what the NfH has to say about the situation, but he doesn't say anything, and I breathe a sigh of relief.
 
 
 

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Cool things? How about this?

This is my first PD in over a month and a half!

(^-^)/))