(Mostly written during the morning hours of July 20, 1998)

This Diary entry is dedicated to Naa-Dei Nikoi-sama, who is going through a very difficult time right now. If this Diary can make Dei-sama chuckle for a brief moment during her time of sorrow, it would have served its purpose...though there's a good chance she's not even going to be able to read this for a while yet...

So the episode begins with the Narrator from H*ll again, like would someone put me out of my misery and shoot either him or me already, and he is telling us that the Iso built this absolutely wonderful factory, and that the ISO worked very hard to make it, and that what it does is build robots for construction work in places too dangerous for people to go, and how wonderful this technology is, like we get the point already about the so-called Technology of the Future, and how the factory is totally unmanned, and these wonderful robots who are 1000 times more efficient than humans are doing all the work, which is a good thing because all the radiation and heat and gas make it too dangerous for humans to work there anyway, and all I can think is 1) the labor unions must really love the ISO for taking 1000 jobs away for each robot that is in the factory 2) there we go again with the radiation obsession 3) what kind of gas are we talking about here, I mean, for crying out loud, oxygen is a gas, and WE BREATHE THE FREAKING STUFF. And all the while, we see the robots, who look strangely like that robot from the ancient sci-fi TV series "Lost in Space", are making things.

Audience chamber. Berg "Purple Doberman on Speed (copyright Lori-sama)" Katze is reporting all googly to Sosai "Giant Blue Chicken (copyright...I have no idea, who first started calling it this?)" X that they are ready for the next evil deed, and GBC is all gloating that the idiots at the ISO haven't the foggiest that their precious factory is going to have a part in building Mechanica, which tells us that the name of the mecha of the week is Mechanica, which is a pretty non-creative name, but at least it is better than Ibukuron. And PDOS orders to begin Operation Mechanica at once, and the Commander of the Week, who looks more like Howard the Duck than anything, orders his underling to turn on the guiding device, whatever that is, and the Green Person is like whatever, and Howard tells another Green Person to raise the power to maximum, and the Green Person moves levers and things, and looks eerily like Jinpei when he is controlling his personal vehicle Pac-Man thing.

And in the factory, the robots eyes flash red, so whatever that Guiding Device thing Howard was telling us about was, we know that it supposedly controls what is controlling the robots. And in the so-called unmanned factory, we see human staff, who are wearing strange yellow hats that can't quite decide if they want to be hard hats or baseball caps, and unitard things that might have been in a 60's sci-fi TV series, and their leader is freaking that they are getting strange readings from the controls, like don't have video cameras and monitors in this so-called high-tech factory so that you can see the robots' eyes flash red or anything, and the staff runs to the window that has a view of the factory, and since they were talking about radiation I sure hope that the glass is leaded glass. And the lights in the factory are flashing and the staff is all freaking and running, and you notice that there is no female staff, like the labor unions must really love the ISO for that, and the robots are firing laser beams at the staff, and I am sure this part was cut out of BotP, and you really wonder what the engineers were thinking when they designed construction robots that had laser beams. And the robots start building something on their own accord, and the staff freaks some more, and we see everything is blue, and there is a blue triceratops, or since its tail is too long and its belly is pretty close to the ground, it must be a chameleon, and it is standing in the wreckage of the factory, and the staff isn't wearing their hard hats anymore, which is probably a bad idea in the vicinity of a crumbling building, and while we are talking about hard hats, let me tell you about the quake and fire drills we had during my three week stint in a Japanese elementary school (where I got the nickname Alare-chan, but that is another story), because for the longest time I wondered why all the kids had little flat cushions tied to their chairs, besides it making the hard wooden flat chairs in the classroom a bit more comfortable, and then one day we have a disaster drill, and all the kids suddenly stand up and untie their cushions and tie them over their heads, and I could see that the ties were strategically placed so that the cushions would form a thick hood of sorts, and apparently the point was that keeping your head covered would prevent head injuries from falling objects, though with a cushion, unlike a hard hat, if something falls on your head with a certain amount of force, something will fall on your head with a certain amount of force (whereas hard hats are designed to disperse force), so the only thing it would be good for would be as protection from sharp trauma like falling glass and things. And another strange thing about the fire drill was, we filed out of the room, and I just kind of walked really fast with the other kids, and the girl standing behind me told me that I was supposed to cover my mouth with a handkerchief, which I did not have that day, and I had done fire drills before in El Sierra School in Downers Grove, IL, and no one had told me anything about tying cushions to your head or covering your mouth with a handkerchief, and to this day I wonder if the safest thing to do in a fire would be to just stand up and walk out the building very quickly and screw the seat cushions and hankies, and let me just add one more thing...ultimate nightmare...fire in the hospital in the middle of a quadruple cardiac bypass surgery.

We see PDOS standing on a little flying saucer with handles, and he giggles like a crazed mutant, and gloats about their latest Chameleon thing, the self-modifying machine, Mechanica, and how proud he is that they used the ISO's parts to make it, and how their intelligence is superior.

Then we get a shot of Ken in his Cessna, and Dr. Nambu is calling him and telling him that his destination is the new ISO factory, and Ken says roger and Bird Go, and the little colored dashes swirl around Birdstyle Ken, and I suppose they must have left out the part where Dr. N tells Ken that the robots in the new factory built a giant blue chameleon.

Shot of each of the personal vehicles, shot of the chameleon and PdoS floating around, and don't forget to cue the two-year-old to slam his hand on the piano. PDOS saying the Team is in for a big surprise, and Ken is saying that PDOS is making fools of them, and you wonder if Ken is like really paranoid, and Ken goes and flies circles around PDOS, and PDOS is like how dare you, now you've done it, and I am wondering what I missed because all Ken did was fly circles around him, or maybe PDOS is really paranoid too.

And Jun squeals oh look out, and she and Joe and Jinpei all move away from the Chameleon thing, and the people are running, and the Chameleon thing smashes the factory, and PDOS is cackling, and Dr. N hollers to assemble in the Godphoenix, and they are all like whatever, and we only see the part where Ken's plane becomes the tailfin of the GP.

And the chameleon is walking, and you see that it is walking very very slowly, and is a really inefficient means of getting about, and it steps on to a road, and PDOS inserts some kind of a cassette into a slot, and the pistons inside the Chameleon are moving, and the feet retract, and we get a shot of some moving parts, and now instead of a giant blue chameleon, the thing is a giant blue...snake...so I suppose that they are going with a reptilian theme this episode, and the snake is careening down the highway, which reminds me, I always thought it amusing that they call the Chuo expressway that goes through Tokyo the Chuo Freeway, and I would like to say that a freeway is supposed to be freaking toll FREE thankyouverymuch, and the giant blue snake is still careening down the highway, over hill and over dale, and it knocks cars off the road, like don't send out a newsflash to stay off the highway because a giant blue snake is slithering on it at high speed or anything.

PDOS is all googly about knocking off the cars, and he sees a tunnel, and pops another cassette into the slot, and the little protrusion at the top of the snake retracts, and the eyes turn into headlights, and it goes into the tunnel.

Cut to cockpit of the GP. Jun and Joe are discussing where the Snake went, and Jinpei points to the tunnel and says that is where it must have gone, and Ryu doesn't believe him, and Joe doubts him, so you can kind of see where this episode is headed, and Ken says that since the radar tells them that this is where the snake disappeared, they do need to investigate, and that they'll split up and search and meet at Dr. Nambu's at nightfall.

And sure enough, Jinpei is in a clearing in front of the said tunnel, and he is muttering stuff about how they don't believe him because they are too hard headed, and that he is going to have to find it if it kills me, and I'm thinking if it kills you don't let it kill you until AFTER you tell your friends you have found it.

Cut back to the Team's base, and there are parts of that robot from the TV series "Lost in Space" lying around, and Dr. N sounds like he us upset when he tells us that their own technology has been turned against them, and how they've pretty much gone through all that (off-screen) trouble to build Galactor's latest weapon for them, only he looks like all he needs is to stop skipping his Metamucil in the morning and he will be fine. And he picks up this little box, and he says it is the artificial intelligence that Galactor must have controlled from the outside, and made the robots build the Chameleon/ Snake. Ken asks what the secret of Mechanica's transformations, and Dr. N answers that he thinks that Galactor has developed an automatic Mecha development system, and Ryu wants to know if that is like them transforming to Birdstyle, and Dr. N says no, not quite, for example, say that there were a machine that you wanted to make, you would get the engineer to draw plans, and if you could get the plans on a microfilm, and set it in the building mecha, theoretically it would be possible to automatically construct a Mecha, and all I can think of is that 1) Dr. N goes easy on Ryu telling him not quite, because Ryu was way off in left field, or possibly not even in the ballpark, and 2) I could have sworn that microfilm was pretty much like having little pictures, and that it wasn't digitized information, so I would be more interested in the part that comes AFTER the so-called microfilm were set in the so-called building mecha.

And Jun says then Galactor, and Dr. N interrupts her, like now we know where Ken gets his nice manners, and he says that's right, Galactor has developed an automatic mecha building machine, just like his theory, and build Mechanica, and Joe says we can just blast it with the Bird Missiles, and Dr. N says that the metal cannot be penetrated by the Bird Missiles, and you really begin to wonder if those darn Bird Missiles are any good at all, for all Joe wants to fire them all the time, and Ken wants Dr. N to tell them what they are supposed to do, and Jun says Dr. Nambu and we get a shot of Ryu and a shot of Joe and after like forever Dr. N says the microfilm, if we can get our hands on the cassette containing the microfilm, we may have a chance, and Joe says then we have to find the Galactor base and Dr. N cuts in again and says steal the microfilm, and though I suppose Dr. N has the right to be rude, he should be more careful about setting an example.

Jinpei crawling in the tunnel, and seeing a light, and thinking that it could be the secret base. Peering into the source of the light and seeing that it is indeed the secret base. Jumping into the hole, but getting caught on a trip wire or something on his way down and getting knocked off balance and falling flat on his face and losing consciousness but not before seeing the Giant Blue Snake.

Shot of Mechanica breaking things.

Jinpei comes to, and notices Mehcanica is gone, and saying he must have been knocked out, and that he will have to look for it himself, and makes his way through the base, and he finds this room, and presses some buttons, and we all see Howard the Duck and his Green People watching a large screen showing footage of Mechanica breaking things, which is scarily reminiscent of propaganda films shown on both sides during WWII, and Howard and the Green People are all cheering kill kill victory of Galactor Science go Mechanica kill kill and we see Mechanica inhaling parts, and Ken's plane, and Ken giving a report to Dr. N that Mechanica is inhaling metal, and Dr. N saying that that is probably what Mechanica wanted to begin with, since that metal is the latest in alloy technology, and Ken wants to know what they plan to do with it, and you really really really begin to think Ken is a Wonder Boy because we are wondering about him all the time, and Dr. N has to tell him that Mechanica probably intends to use it for its self-reconstruction. Dr. N continues to say that Jinpei is not back, so he should return to base, and Ken says roger and heads for home.

We get more shots of Howard the Duck and Co. watching the movie, and the Howard is quacking...sorry, cackling, and Jinpei says that he is going to have to blow up this base alone, like where did he get that logic, but since this is Jinpei you can kind of tell that things are going to turn out all right no matter what he does. And Jinpei makes his way to the powder magazine, and he finds a laser rifle, and he is all happy, and he sets charges in the powder magazine, and we get a shot of a burning fuse, and there is an explosion, and then we get a shot of Jinpei in a different room cutting thought computers and stuff with his newly acquired laser rifle thingie, and of course Howard and the Green People are in panic because their movie screen is all jiggly, and Howard yells that there's been an explosion in the powder magazine, and they need to extinguish it immediately, and you begin to wonder just how much (or how little) powder they had in there. And Howard adds as an afterthought that it would probably be a good idea to collect the microfilm from the engineering room, and we get a shot of Jinpei playing with a camera in a room full of those big slanted tables architects and engineers use, and the camera pops open and film pops out, and I am hoping that the film has already been developed, but then again you probably wouldn't have film that is already developed sitting in the camera, and the Green People come, and they are all give it back, only you don't see their mouths move, and Jinpei says that it has to be something important if they want it back so badly, so he's taking it home, and runs off, and we get a wild goose chase, only it is a wild Duck chase since Howard is directing it, and Jinpei throws his bolo at the Green People, and knocks them all out and stands over the knocked out Green People and says that he won't be needing his laser rifle anymore, and tosses it on the floor, and the impact makes it fire at the ceiling, and of course the base is destroyed, I mean, what do you expect in a Jinpei episode?

Cut to Dr. N and the rest of the Team (besides Jinpei, of course) sitting around looking depressed, I mea, don't, like, ORGANIZE A FREAKING SEARCH PARTY TO GO SEARCHING FOR YOUR SO-CALLED TEAMMATE OR ANYTHING, and Jinpei staggers in, and collapses, and Jun stands up and yells Jinpei, are you all right, and Ken wants to know where he was, and Jinpei says that he blew Galactor's Secret base to smithereens, and I've always liked that word, smithereens, and Ryu is incredulous, and the film rolls out of Jinpei's hand, and Dr. N picks it up and wants to know what it is, and Jinpei says it is microfilm and he took it because he thought it might be something important, and Dr. N is all happy because now they have the film that holds Mechanica's secret, and he says well done, and Jinpei smiles, and he is even uglier than he usually is, which is like a major achievement in itself.

PDOS chewing out Howard the Duck and Co. for letting the microfilm be stolen and the base be destroyed, and sentencing all of them to hard labor in the Arctic Base, and thought I thought the base in the Icecander episode (please see PD14) was the Arctic base, but I guess not, since that base was destroyed. And Howard is begging for mercy, but PDOS will have none of it, and heads for headquarters in Mechanica.

Cut back to base. Dr. N is giving Ken a roll of film, saying that the film is Galactor's but that it contains plans for a new machine he designed, and that the rest is up to them, and Ken says that he gets it, they have to do whatever it takes to set this in Mechanica, and Dr. N says you'll be risking your lives, and I am thinking (yawn) aren't they always, and Ken is like aren't we always.

PDOS is in the Snake, and he is saying that he's going to blow the GP to the otherworld, and he sets a microfilm cassette and the side of the Snake opens up to reveal cannon barrels, and cannons fire at the GP, and the GP swerves, and none of the rounds hit the GP, and if I were PDOS I would be a little more conservative with my ammo, seeing how they just lost most of it compliments of Jinpei, and sure enough he switches to lasers, and the GP swerves some more, and Jinpei, who looks awfully tired, like maybe Katze should share some of his speed with him, says that there's no way that they are going to be able to get close enough to do anything, and Ryu is agreeing, and I know what it is like to be tired and depressed and very un-motivated, like last week I was coming home at around eleven every night because I was working on a presentation to give on MRI of the liver, and I don't even like liver, I prefer breast, and to top it all off, it was my time of month, and though I'm not usually in too much discomfort during that time, for some reason it was just awful this month, and so after being here only a month and a half I have probably succeeded in making the boss think I am the B*tch Queen of the Universe or something. And Ken is sitting there saying that they are going to wait for just the right time, and they keep following the Snake, all the way to the beach, and PDOS says let's see if you can keep up with this, and he sets a different cassette, and Joe says that they can't just sit there forever, and Jun says that Mechanica is invincible, but it has to have a weak point someplace, so I suppose poor Jun-chan is so uncertain that she is even contradicting herself now, and we get a shot of Mechanica transforming, and Ken is hearing Jun's voice inside his head saying that Mechanica is invincible but it has to have a weak point someplace, and Ken says, I know, I've got it, when it rebuilds itself, there will be an opening to the inside, and Joe is like I see, but, and I am waiting for Joe to finish his sentence, but we cut to PDOS, who says that Gatchaman is awfully persistent, but Mechanica is no match for them, only his mouth keeps moving for like ten minutes after any sound has been coming out of his mouth, and he pops in another cassette, and this time the Snake changes into a...ray, so much for my reptilian theme theory.

And I wait for Joe to finish his sentence.

And Ken says now, and the ray fires a ray (sorry, a laser beam) at the GP, and the GP closes in on the ray, and Ken leaps off the bubble thing on the top of the GP, and jumps thought a small opening in Mechanica, and makes his way into the cockpit, and PDOS notices that he is there and draws his laser thing, and Ken hollers Birdrang, and he knocks the laser thing out of his hand, and Katze is like how dare you and grabs him and starts throwing punches, hollering sneaky little brat, and Ken is reaching for the cassette player thing with the so-called microfilm cassette Dr. N gave him, only PDOS has him in a neckhold, only for some reason all of a sudden PDOS loses his grip and Ken walks to the cassette player thing and pops the cassette thing in, and Ken is all gloating like you lose, Mechanica isn't a secret weapon anymore, and PDOS doesn't go to grab Ken before he WALKS to the thing, or try to eject the cassette and put the old one of the Chameleon or Snake or Ray back in or anything, and instead all he says is are you going to kill me.

Ken answers that the mission of the Science Ninja Team is to not kill, but I am going to find out your true identity. I am going to tear off that mask, when a simple "no" would have sufficed, instead of that long speech, I mean, he could have gone and just hollered no and grabbed PDOS, so it kind of serves him right when PDOS jumps out of the escape hatch and is leaving on that hover-scooter thing, saying that he shall return and seek revenge for this, and Ken is all devastated and doesn't holler for Ryu to go after him or anything.

But I suppose he wasn't that devastated, because as the Narrator from H*ll is telling us that the ISO got Mechanica back and will use it for something peaceful, Ken, still in Birdstyle, is in a Ferris wheel, and he is waving happily at the others, who are on the ground in civvies, and are waving back at him. And as the NfH gives us the standard "Go, Gatchaman!" we get a shot of Dr. Nambu facing straight at us with his hand on his hip.

And I am still waiting for Joe to finish his sentence.

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Points of interest. Jinpei episodes are always cute, if you can get over the gross overuse of the MacGuyver effect that is constantly prevalent. And Berg Katze fought back, instead of just making a quick getaway like he always does.

(^-^)/))